(during the search...)
(Jason and Christopher still try to find any clues, until...)
??? (offscreen, obviously): So, if it isn't the heroes!
Jason: Who are you?
???: Well, wouldn't you like to know?
(the monster appears...and it's yet another damn Mirage Monster. This time, it's Mirage!Dai Shi?! Even worse...and more baffling, he's in the Phantom Beast King mode)
Jason: ...uh-oh.
Christopher: Who the fuck is this?
Mirage!Dai Shi: I am Dai Shi. Rangers...prepare to meet your doom!
Jason: Not if we stop you!
(he takes out the Jungle Chucks, and Christopher prepares the Astro Blaster)
Ready?
Christopher: Oh, yeah.
(but then, Mirage!Dai Shi blasts the two)
You've gotta be kidding me!
Jason: <Where, exactly, did you come from?>
Mirage!Dai Shi: Defeated so soon?
Jason: N-no! (scrambles himself up) We will never give up!
(then, in front of the two Rangers, Mirage!Dai Shi shifts himself into Mirage!Darkonda!)
Christopher: ...
So tempted to scream a swear word right about now.
Mirage!Darkonda: Try to catch me!
(Mirage!Darkonda runs away)
Jason: Chris, it's time for a Plan "B". Let's go!
(Christopher nods, and the two men chase the shapeshifting enemy)
Rika: Welcome back! Previously...nothing that interesting happened.
However, this chapter is where sanity goes to die (if it hasn't already), childhood memories get crushed, and whoever made Kamen Rider W to call this guy a ripoff. (And yes, I know that there are other heroes who have done the Fusion Dance, too.)
So let's move on with...
Chapter 10: The Missing James: Fused Ranger
We get the Author's Notes, where he says that, after this chapter, he'll skip the episodes. Why? Because he honestly believes he can't write a whole saga, and he doesn't even think the site can handle that much data. Granted, he did state that it's a bit better than making repetitive episodes, buuuuut...
We are talking about the guy who writes a shitload of filler, and him stating stuff about having to stick to a "wordcount" to make sure they run the equivalent of 30 minutes. And him complaining about having to write filler, but never improving. Keep that in mind.
The chapter begins with Sarah and James trying to gather water. What happens? They fucking bicker. Oy...
...do I really have to liveblog this mess? I mean, really.
So after the fight that proves to be yet another launchpad for fucking shipping, Sarah's tasked to get the water while he dries off. And she finds that as a sign of maturity. Seriously? They were fighting like little, annoying brats!
After she realizes to not judge so quickly, and that she enjoys the fights (uhhhhhh...), enter Ebbie and the fake redcoats. He orders the mooks to capture Sarah's morpher for Sakura. Dude, they have the DNA locked, so why the hell would you think it would work for your Dark Chick?
Oh, and he has the Zapper-Ray, where it can teleport a victim. Three guesses as to how it will work. First two don't count.
Sarah sends a message to the other Rangers, and after that, Ebbie shoots the beam. Sarah deflects it, and after it friggin' bounces around...it hits James. He disappears, leaving his (DNA locked!) morpher behind.
The Pink Ranger picks it up, and Ebbie warns her that he'll get the morphers by sundown, fleeing. Sarah mourns, until she hears a voice. Turns out it's James, buuuuuut there's just one problem. All the bouncing around made the blast take his body, but not his spirit.
...
What the fucking shit.
The Rangers rejoin the duo, and of course they can't see him. James can't even pick up his morpher, so what can they do? Wait until sundown to confront Ebbie, of course!
At the island, the villains bicker, and of course Ebbie only "just" completed the ray. Regardless, they decide to prepare themselves for sundown.
And if you're wondering why I'm skipping some of the stuff, I want to be done with this dumbass fanfic more than anyone else.
(in another area, Mirage!Darkonda waits)
Mirage!Darkonda: <Those fools can't stop me...I'll baffle them first!>
(and then...enter Jason, now cosplaying as Gai Ikari, and Christopher, now cosplaying as Joe Gibken)
Jason: Did you think it would be that simple?
Mirage!Darkonda: How did you?!
Jason: It was easy, tracking you. (takes out a Gokai Spear...prop, and he turns to Christopher) Chris, want to borrow my Gokai Sabre for a bit?
Christopher: Yeah.
(Jason throws the sword to Christopher, who catches it)
Let's make a show of it!
(the two men fight against Mirage!Darkonda. Surprisingly, the Gokai Spear does do some decent damage against the mirage monster. Christopher gleefully slashes the Gokai Sabre)
Jason: Excellent work.
(Mirage!Darkonda roars, and he shoots fireballs at the two. As they fall, the monster transforms into Mirage!Moltor)
Christopher: Can this get any more fucked up?!
Rika: Back at the print shop, Sarah and James bicker, until Mykan tells them, to put it kindly, to shut the fuck up. Because it's time for a plan, since even if they're nice to Ebbie, he wouldn't give the body back easily.
So what do they decide? To simply sneak into Ebbie's base. No, really. Granted, in a decent story, it would be an interesting Storming the Castle plot, but...this is Dakari-King Mykan we're talking about.
Oh, and this is half of the plan. What's the other half? Namely, he discovered something when he was modifying Henri's Zord. It's the invisibility fluid, and if they pour it on themselves, they, well...take a wild guess what would happen. Oh, and there's one problem: namely, it lasts a short while.
Really.
With the heroes realizing that they have not much long until sundown, they figure out more of the plan. And get this, they would have Sarah give a small sack filled with rocks to make it seem like she'll give the morphers.
She places the bag from where Ebbie was earlier, and she rejoins the group, just when it is a few minutes before sundown. Aaaaaand there's more bickering, fucking joy.
(Rika rubs her temples)
Mykan pours the invisibility formula on everyone, making them all disappear. They head over to the portal...but not before there's even more fucking bickering! Good God, I'm sorry to say, but James and Sarah are really getting even more annoying with this shit!
When they reach the island, they realize a few things. One, they may be in an island. (I thought they were in the British Isles or some shit?) Two, they have no fucking idea where they're at, specifically. Three...Ebbie truly created the lab to be a fortress. No, really.
Sarah realizes that they would need to go to the dungeon, and off they go. But when they try to search, of course the formula would fade. The Rangers (sans James) fight against the fake redcoats, and they get their asses kicked...until Sarah calls for James. He shouts back, scaring the mooks.
No, really. I think this should be the title of this chapter, considering how much I use it.
As they find the body, Ebbie yells at the other villains because, yes, they were tricked. It gets better: Sarah says she can see him, but everyone else? Nope. (Wait, how would they not see him?) Which brings the biggest bullshit reveal of all time.
The reason why Sarah can see him? You really ready for this?
- Ebbie: "Sarah could only see James if… if she was in love with him!"
Yes. You read that right. The only reason why Sarah can see James is because...of the Power of Fucking Love.
(Rika inhales...)
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
(Mirage!Moltor prepares a fireball, and he shoots it at the two...only for someone else to block it! Aaaaaaand getting tossed around...)
Jason: Was that?
(the man groans, revealing himself to be...Alex Heartman?!)
Christopher: Oh, God. Where'd you come from?
Alex: D-dimensional rift! (coughs) Nice outfits.
Jason: ...
<Dimensional rifts? Wait...Mako and Matoi experienced it before!>
Christopher: Come on, guys...we have to defeat this faker!
Jason: Right! (to Alex) You have anything ready to cosplay with?
Alex: Cosplay?
Jason: Just trust me.
(Alex nods a bit, and then, all three switch to their next round of cosplay change. Jason is cosplaying as Geki, Alex is cosplaying as Sasuke, and Christopher is cosplaying as Hiryu)
Alex: Okay, let's do this.
(all three attack the mirage, by using the next round of props)
Rika: ...whew. We're almost done...
As more Ship Teasing occurs, the Rangers fall into the dungeon, where Ebbie awaits. As expected, he tells them that he'll only surrender James' body if they give up their morphers, even if he has to do it by force.
He summons the fake redcoats, and the Rangers all fight. James wants to help, but he realizes that his body's right there. And so, Ebbie orders the redcoats to put the body in the bag, until...James wakes up and kicks their asses. Really.
The Rangers then flee after Ebbie fails at striking at them, and they continue to fight. Also, it turns out that the villain also created Super Redcoats, more powerful than the others. What do you want to bet that they would have a weaksauce weakness?
Everything looks grim. The Super Redcoats are shrugging the attacks off. James bravely decides to protect Sarah, and Ebbie orders them to finish the Rangers off. They fire at them, but then...this happens.
- "(...)but when the smoke cleared, they were still standing there in one piece."
And it gets better. Their suits glow, they fly into the air, they combine. And when that happens...enter the Fused Ranger, wearing a fused suit (think Gokai Christmas, only not as cool), and having huge muscles.
A boy. And a girl. Fusing into one being.
...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
(cut to a screen that says "We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties", and cut back to Rika)
Seriously, what the fuck?! That came out of nowhere! Why did they fuse? How did that happen? Is it because of fucking shipping?!
(Rika groans)
So...to make a long story short, the Fusion Ranger (fuck it, I'll call it "W Ranger", you know why) defeats the mooks. This amazes the other three Rangers, and W Ranger defuses into James and Sarah, the latter wiped out. And so, with another danger defeated, the Rangers head off, and Ebbie berates the others for their failure.
And so, this chapter ends with James asking Mykan if he knew the art of fusion. He confirms that he does not. Answer: straight out of Asspull Land. He takes the morphers, since they all know that the foes will get tougher. As he heads off, Sarah tells James she never got to thank him for the help. And yep. This sets off another bit of ship tease, ending it.
Joy.
Oh, and the next chapters will be the obligatory Sixth Ranger debut. Will it be infuriating, or boring as shit? Find out next time!
(the Mirage Shapeshifter is weakening, but not out yet. He stands up, revealing his true form)
???: I am Henshifter! You were so lucky, facing me in combat...but now, you will fall!
(Jason and Alex stare, whereas Christopher just laughs)
Christopher: "Henshifter"? What kind of a name is that?
Jason: And where did you come from?
Henshifter: I was summoned by the master...you may know him.
(he throws the cards at the trio, and Jason recognizes the name)
Jason: <!>
Alex: Really? Throwing business cards at us?
Henshifter: Call it formality. But now...
(he shoots more fireballs at the three)
Jason: Okay, that does it.
(Jason and Alex then swap to their normal clothing. As for Christopher...he tries, but he ends up cosplaying as Carter Grayson instead!)
Christopher: DAMN IT!
Jason: Oh, my God...
Henshifter: Let's just say, Jason, that you should have kept your mouth shut. It was just tempting to either erase your friend out of reality...so I made a compromise.
Christopher: Dude, go fuck yourself, because if there's one thing I hate the most...
(he takes out the V-Lancer prop)
...it's you guys trying to erase my friends.
(with a yell, Christopher insanely slashes Henshifter)
Jason: Shall we finish this? (regains his Gokai Sabre)
Alex: Yeah. (prepares his own Gokai Sabre and Gokai Gun)
Jason/Alex: GOKAI BLAST AND SLASH: FINAL WAVE!
(the duo execute their attacks, defeating Henshifter)
Alex: W-whoa...
Man #3: Hey, isn't that...it is!
Woman #1: That's Christopher! From Power Rangers Fire Rescue!
(Christopher looks at Alex, who's just looking it up...and sees that "Fire Rescue" has displaced Time Force!)
Alex: "Fire Rescue was the sequel series to Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue. Featuring five heroes, all firefighters, it was poorly received and cancelled after 16 episodes. It was succeeded by Power Rangers Wild Force."
Christopher: Oh, fuck.
Jason: And that's not all...looks like Delu-Knight is behind it all!
Why is Delu-Knight behind it all? Who will be the Sixth Ranger in the fanfic? And can Rika go through the last 11 chapters?
Find out next time on Rika Liveblogs vs. Power Rangers: Revolution!
Comments
Well, at least he tried to vary it in some way... maybe...
