I set out for route 103, and as I trekked through route 101 a wild Pokemon attacked me! It was a Houndoom, and I squee'd in delight. Just look at that majestic motherfucker. Those horns, those fangs, that tail. What a beautiful beast. I was filled with such joy and excitement, having found the first addition to my team. All I had to do was capture it, so I reached into my bag for a Pokeball and...
...remembered that the professor only gave me the Pokeball Greg came in.
Fuck. My. Life.
Me: All right, it's fine, we'll just have to beat it and move on. I-It's no huge loss, Greg, just hit him with-
I looked at Greg's moves. Splash, Odor Sleuth, Psywave and Psybeam. Oh, fuck me. Nothing here will work on him! Seriously, Splash? What the hell, Greg?
Suddenly, a delicious scent wafted through the air. I looked up from face-palming and noticed that Greg was getting burnt pretty badly from Houndoom's Ember. It's a good thing Ember is such a weak move, or Greg's tender, succulent flesh might've been rendered inedible instead of lightly fried. This only made the pain harder to bear, seeing how perfectly Houndoom's Ember cooked the flesh. If only I could make him my partner! The grief overcame me, and I withdrew Greg, fleeing from the battle.
I arrived in Oldale town and collapsed, sobbing to myself. Greg released himself from his cage Pokeball and rubbed my back with a singed paw, attempting to console me.
Me: I was so naive, to think it would be that easy.
Greg cocked his head, not understanding.
Me: I should've known that I wouldn't obtain a not-totally-lame Pokemon so early.
With that, Greg burst into tears, and I was touched by his empathy for my harrowing situation. Truly, this was evidence of how strong our bond was, as Pokemon and trainer. It was so moving, knowing that the two of us had this kind of understanding in such a short time together. It gave me the strength to push on, and I met a man who gave me a Potion and redirected me to the Pokemart. What a swell guy. He'll be one of the survivors, I decided. I entered the Pokemart.
Me: Ten Pokeballs, please!
Shopkeeper: Oooh, I'm afraid we don't have any in stock.
Scratch that, the man is fucked.
I tried to head out of Oldale and was stopped by a man who claimed to be sketching the footprints of a rare Pokemon. I looked at the mud he was gesturing towards, and saw shoeprints in it. I looked at his shoes, which were covered in mud. Oh, for fuck's sake. At least he wasn't blocking the way to route 103.
I navigated through route 103, and found a man whose Pokemon had been injured, wishing he had a brought a Potion. As I had two Potions spare, I kindly informed the man that he probably wouldn't make it to the Pokemon centre before his Pokemon died, then continued on my way. Surprisingly, I found May without running into any more Pokemon.
I crept up behind her, and booted her up the ass, scaring the shit out of her. Priceless. She didn't seem to find my joke very funny, and demanded we battle for her HONOUR! It seems the cute ones never have a sense of humour. She sent out a Mudkip, and I sent out Greg.
May: Whoa, Dad gave you a Grumpig? Why the hell did you get a fully evolved Pokemon when I got... this!
I smirked as Mudkip looked hurt, and I decided it should be more than just a look.
Me: Greg, use Psywave. Let's make this slow.
Greg's attack missed (how does a wave of psychic energy miss?) and Mudkip tackled into Greg, doing jack shit.
Me: Yeah I'm bored now, just kill it with Psybeam.
Surprisingly, Mudkip survived and tackled Greg again.
Me: Oh come on, now you're making me look bad. Kill it!
The second Psybeam knocked it out, and May called Mudkip back before Greg could deliver the final blow. Lame.
May: Wow, that's great! Corey, you're pretty good!
Me: Er, thanks. That was actually pretty damn easy, though. I did have the advantage with Greg being fully evolved and all.
May: And so modest, too!
She told me to accompany her back to the lab and took off like a rocket. I chased after her, but couldn't catch up to her. If she can outrun me so easily, I'll actually have to court her! Once I arrived at the lab, panting slightly, she was already standing beside Birch, not even sweating.
Bitch.
The professor congratulated me on kicking his daughter's ass, and I wasn't entirely sure if he meant the battle.
Birch: MAY has an extensive history as a TRAINER already.
Me: An extensive history and a level 5 Mudkip to go with it. What a gal. Also, what's with the emphasis?
Ignoring my question, Birch handed me a POKEDEX so I could record data on POKEMON and informed me that MAY carries one around everywhere, continuing his stupid emphasizing. As if I needed any more reason to hate him. But May interrupted my thoughts.
May: I've got something for you, too!
Fuck yes, I bet she's going to kiss me!
Instead, May gave me some Pokeballs. Hot damn, that's nearly as good as what I thought it would be! Totally makes up for outrunning me earlier.
With those gifts, I was now ready to set out on my journey. Wait, what was my journey supposed to be? On second thought, I don't care, this place is boring. Time to go find something interesting to do!
My mother was waiting for me at the door to our house. After I explained everything that had happened since I had left this morning, she gave me some running shoes and told me they would enable me to run much faster.
Me: Aha! So this is the secret to May's power!
Now it was my turn to take off like a rocket, harnessing the power of the running shoes.
I'm leaving this town behind and setting forth on my journey for real. I'm going to leave my name behind with this town, and adopt a new identity, for I believe this journey will turn me into a different person. One Gameshark code later, and it's settled. From this day, I will be known...
...as Saiga.
Comments
I think you will. Every mon is there in the wild, but there are more slots in those tables than there are mons. Much more. The repeat mons are rare, actually meting doubles is exceedingly rare due to the huge assortment, but they're there. >The player may only catch the first Pokémon encountered in each area, and none else. If the first Pokémon encountered faints or flees, there are no second chances. <— I'll break the shit out of this rule if I run into a Pokemon I like.
Using the mons you wouldn't otherwise is half the point :V
