Today I am playing the drinking game, but I am playing it with a mug full of delicious, life-giving coffee. And I'm just gonna take a sip whenever one of the rules of the drinking game says I should take a shot of liquor. I'll also stick to the same rules that Slow Zombie used in the old thread, which are:
Take a shot with every bad pun, two if followed by ‘geddit’.
Take a shot each time the narrative stops to describe the clothing or makeup, two if it's a boy's makeup.
Take a shot whenever fishnets are mentioned.
Take a shot each time a band is mentioned, two if they are going to attend a concert.
Take a shot every time preps (or Hillary Duff) are insulted or are flaming again.
Take a shot each time Ebony gives somebody the "middle finger".
Take a shot for every use of ‘fuck’, ‘666’, or ‘depressed/depressing/etc.’. Take a shot whenever someone slits their wrists or cries tears of blood.
Take a shot for every overly-long, dramatic pause, as in, "It was................ X!"
Take a shot every time Ebony has sex.
Take a shot every time she comments on how hot someone looks, two if it’s a band member.
Take a shot whenever she refers to genitalia.
Okeydoke!
Sure, this time she means it. Who's she kidding? And why does Raven need help from her?
Sometimes I wonder whether Raven's "help" was actually making this story worse.
But now for the drinky part. Let's see: author's note, sip. Preps are insulted and flaming, another sip. Even though she uses it all the time, "fangz" is still a bad pun, so another sip. That's also a "fuck", which means that if I were doing shots then by now I would be halfway to what experience has taught me is the point where I damn well need to stop drinking unless I want to puke my guts out. And that list above isn't even all of the rules in the game!
Following the author's note, we pick up where we last joined these people, which when we learned that Professor Sinister was addicted to voldemortserum! (Gasp!!!! Again.)
I guess it's possible to shoot somebody sadly, like if you do a mercy killing or something, but she means "shout", of course. Another "fuck", so I drink.
"Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.
"Egogy", hehe. Who the crap is Tom Andorson? Does she mean "Satan"? And what kind of help did she want Ebony to ask for?!
Tara is just gonna leave this drug addiction thing hanging there, isn't she? "I'm a drug addict!" "Oh no! Do you want us to take you to the hospital so they can help you!" "Hell no!" "Okay, just asking. Let Us Never Speak of This Again."
I need to drink because of what Draco's wearing (I thought there was only one Panama, although maybe it counts as two halves after being divided by that canal), and also because a band was mentioned. Fuck you and every fiber of your clothes, Malfoy!
"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.
"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.
"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.
Sigh...she just got back, and he shouldn't know about "Satan" because nobody has told him yet. Also, she mentioned Gerard Way, which counts as another MCR mention, which means drink.
I love, love, that verb when used in this context. XD Also, I've gotten so used to her writing all the dialogue like she's texting that I just realized she said "lol" in a situation where she could have laughed for real, or not if it wasn't funny enough to lol.
"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.
Frenching! Drink!
"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly.
I guess she means "mysteriously".
LOL, for real! You know, I've heard of poking people, and I've heard of stabbing people, but I've never heard of poking people by stabbing them. Although I guess when you initially stab somebody you are poking them, for a second. Why am I thinking about it this much? Let's move on.
There's nothing I can think to add to this. "Statistically", that's how she's laughing.
Actually, I did see all three of those movies, so for once I'm not a prep, I guess. Clothing description inbound, meaning another drink.
BWAHAHA!!!!
OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING!!!
Two references to genitals here, so two drinks. Apparently Draco's dick is his "wetness", which I've only ever seen as a description of female genitalia. Until now. Also, he's penetrating her sexily. Somebody with a vagina and the relevant experience please tell me: is the insertion of penis into vagina something that can be done "sexily"?
I could make an orgy joke here, but instead I'll just observe that she means "orgasm" and that she came just seconds after they started having sex. If they're just gonna stop instead of him trying to give her another one, then this is stupid.
"I luv u TaEbory." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.
Something's not right here. He's getting an erection...AFTER they have sex? 0_o
And yeah, they just went to spleep afterwards, so this is stupid.
"Fuck" + passively fucking = drink + drink.
I have coffee left, so maybe I'll try this sipping thing with a beer sometime. But not for more than a single chapter...