(We begin where we...kinda left off in the last installment, with Rika becoming wasted)
Rika: Urk...(hic!) I feel so...amazing...
Tranza: ...
<...just how many did she even drink? That chapter must have been that bad...>
(Rika then looks at the next chapter)
Rika: You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me, another damn filler chapter? And worse yet, it focuses on Cole!
...
(As Rika thinks about whether or not she can do the installment, we go back to the All-Stars, and Sean collapses after overperforming the hell out of the chapter, completely in laughter)
Sean: ...that was actually kinda fun.
Saya: I cannot honestly believe...
(Saya shakes her head)
You guys were right!
Mao: Oh, you just witnessed the least of the problems. It does get a lot worse as it goes on.
Rin: I still don't understand the fixations of the girls.
Mao: Rin, it's because, well...he likes certain people. So much.
Xander: Honestly, I'm afraid to see what would have happened if he tried to write any of us down! I'd lose my charm!
Rin: (takes a peek at Sean's tablet and reads a blog post) I don't think you have anything to worry about, Xander, because he says he'll keep your teams out.
(Christopher grins)
Christopher: It's a shame...if any of us had a camera, we totally would have uploaded your overacting to You Tube, Sean!
Sean: What? (he's starting to become embarrassed)
Christopher: Seriously! I mean...that was actually pretty damn hilarious! Everyone else, too! How did you guys manage to survive all this?!
Natsuki: Yeah! I mean, it has to be hard for you guys...
Ryota: We try to do the best we can.
(Saya then shivers, then she maintains her composure)
Jason: What's up?
Saya: Nothing. Nothing at all. (smiles)
(as the group heads on, something's watching them in the darkness...)
(meanwhile, Rika recovers...somewhat)
Rika: So...what happened in the last chapter, again?
Tranza: Cole was defeated, Akumaro was introduced, and the Shinkengers managed to defeat the villain a bit?
Rika: ...
(she doesn't quite remember that)
Yeah, nothing of interest happened! So let's go on with...
(click!)
The chapter starts with an Author's Note. Here, it says that it ain't a time travel this chapter. Uh, yeah, there wasn't any time travel in the last chapter, too!
Tranza: And how can you remember that?
Rika: Selective memory. I try to purge the stupid shit, remebering the more important things.
(Tranza blinks)
Oh, and we get what's next.
- "Just want to wrap up on Cole a little bit with this muscular episode for the ladies."
Oh. Dear. GOD.
Not only is it going to be a pointless filler episode, not only is it going to be focused on Cole, but it's also going to be an episode of...
FANSERVICE.
(Rika headdesks)
Why? Because...you should fucking know this already!
(she sighs) I wasn't kidding when I stated that this obsession makes my own look so minor by comparison. To be honest, I don't think I even want to match that!
Akizuki realizes that he needs to be careful before Cole takes over the spotlight and destroy the plot. TOO LATE, DUDE. I can't count the number of times Cole is A) mentioned, B) praised, or C) do one of those Deus Ex Machina things. Or D) just fucking showing up. Seriously, you should have thought of that even before you made him into not just Aka Red's fusee, but also...gah.
We get this at the end.
- "But after this, he'll be shelved out for some time unless he's really needed. Cole is a prop character, not a mainline runner."
I'm honestly not going to expect it to change to this. I'm honestly not.
So the story begins with a dream date. Literally. And who is it between? Sakura and Cole. Yep, we begin where we left off: lovey-dovey shit!
Also, Jasmine does a thumbs-up to them. Yeah...I...got nothing.
After Sakura and Cole talk and get married in the dream, Cole wakes up. He realizes that he has fully recovered already, and the dream's a delusion. So he now has Delusion Power, too?
Sakura has literally been on Cole's mind ever since she rejected him. We get the descriptions of him being so "muscular" as we find out that, yes, when the bandages are removed, the scars are gone. He realizes that...(Rika facepalms)...he's not so human after all. Yeah, no shit!
(on the road...)
Saya: You know, about this whole "superhuman" thing, you think such a thing exists in your world, guys? (is talking to the actors)
Ryota: Aside from the Hidden Powers? Well...I don't really count that out.
Jason: I always believed that people can do awesome things! Even when they don't have their powers.
(then they hear something moving...)
Saya: What's that?
Rin: I don't know! But we must get ready!
(she, Alex, and Brittany prepare their katanas)
(meanwhile...)
Rika: So Cole heads to the clinic, where Mikoto waits for him. The young man requests to have a body examination, because...you guessed it...he isn't human anymore.
As if we didn't already know from the first thousand times.
And you know what that means! More excuse for fanservice! Seriously.
An hour later, Mikoto comes back with the results. Answer: pfft, he's more than human. Why? Because of more shit we already know!
- Accelerated healing.
- Stronger immune system.
- Almost zero body fat and stronger muscles.
- A bigger appetite.
(Rika drinks)
Also, there are talks of how everyone looks up to him like a god. We get it, Cole is awesome.
After a scene with Billy and Ranru talking, we get back to Cole. And who else joins him?
Andros! Of all fucking people!
(Rika is seething)
...Andros.
Tranza: What's the matter with him?
Rika: He embodies what not to do when you're a Red Ranger. He focused more on his sister than the actual mission, rescuing Zordon. He got jealous a few times. He isn't really that much of a badass as people think! And about that mission to save Zordon? He fucking failed at it! He killed Zordon, and yeah, there was a deleted scene in "Forever Red" where he says it all happily!
Really, the only saving grace of the character is the fact that he's portrayed by someone who isn't at all wangsty, Christopher Khayman Lee. In fact, I'd go far to say that, gathering from the No Pink Spandex interview of him
, he's a pretty snarky, if cool guy. Which is also sad, considering that, with the exceptions of a few, he was stuck playing either jerkasses, Designated Heroes, or in one instance...playing a character and doing a scene that, really, should never have happened.
Poor guy.
Tranza: <Christopher...that name sounds familiar. Oh, yes! I remember!>
Rika: Put it this way. You know about that infamous scene where, when Karone seemingly died, Andros cried on her, and it brought her back to life? Yeah. Even Chris did not like that at all, thought it was used so many times. I'd almost have to say that he's pretty Genre Savvy, too, based on that.
But enough about my rants and gush.
(she exhales)
Come to think of it, though, considering that Akizuki made Tanba tolerable...I'm actually curious to see how Andros will fare. So, Akizuki, if I don't see any wangsting or snarking, not even once, I will be sorely disappointed. So let's continue!
Cole and Andros talk about the events of "Forever Red". Or, specifically, the former's involvement. And we get what we already know about the powers, and...oh, dear God.
- Andros: "I don't know what's wrong with our timeline to cause us to land from 2005 of our world to 2011 of this world."
(imitates Andros) Other than the fact that our world hasn't really caught up with the years. Seriously, the fuck is up with that? (normal voice) And now that I think about it...why is it that the Power Rangers world isn't budging a year?
Andros then goes on to explain what Aya told him, namely, that the villains escaped from the Netherworld, and anything that's entered there, they come back as a lost cause of evil. If they're revived. Karone hopes that the villains will be defeated again.
By the way, I've noticed that both Andros and Karone, too, aren't noted as speaking Japanese. I'm kind of hoping that he has given up and realized that the entire thing is just...stupid and unneeded. Or possibly, the two are translators. I'd like to believe in the latter theory.
Later, Cole visits all members of the Gaorangers, especially Kakeru, Sae, and Shirogane (also known as Ogami Tsukumaro). And yes, he misses his friends, hoping that they'll join him soon. Long story short, the Gaorangers kiss his feet (not literally), and he defeats Sotaru, the Iron Bison. NEXT!
(on the road, the group waits. And then, almost exact clones of Christopher, Saya, and Matoi show up. How "almost exact" are we talking about? Clone!Chris has shorter hair, Clone!Saya's dressed in darker clothing, and Clone!Matoi has white streaks in his hair)
Ryota: What the—?!
Brittany: They're...
Christopher: Okay, clones? Fucking seriously? Didn't we have enough stories about this?
Sean: ...you read my mind! (is astonished)
Christopher: I didn't mean to, dude...
(Sean gives Christopher a reassuring pat on the back, indicating to the flustered friend that he's not mad)
Sean: But yeah, where did they even come from?
Clone!Chris: We're summoned by our master, Darkuroi.
Clone!Saya: You think this is gonna be easy? (gives a wicked smile)
Clone!Matoi: You have to face us in order to move forward.
Brittany: We'll stop you, then! Guys, are you ready?
Clone!Saya: Who says we're facing all of you?
All-Stars: Huh?
Clone!Matoi: Yeah...with a huge group, it would be too easy. We'd like to deliver a challenge.
Clone!Chris: How about if three warriors face us?
(Christopher, Saya, and Matoi step forward)
Saya: We'll volunteer! (prepares her Ginga Brace)
Matoi: It's important to save lives, even our friends'. (prepares his Go Go Brace)
Christopher: ...let's get this over with. (prepares his Astro Morpher)
Clone!Chris: This is gonna be fun! (cackles) I await the moment where I kill you...in front of your best friend!
(the two sides prepare for battle...)
(at the base...)
Rika: So, at the U.A.O.E, RINO is thinking about his schemes. And—spoiler alert—there's going to be a Xenomorphis queen in the Changeman "tribute". Meanwhile...remember when Trakeena somehow got ahold of some of Cole's DNA? Well, she's making a clone of him.
RINO and Yaiba argue with Trakeena, but she assures them that she has other plans. With her are Pope Hat and Akumaro. Pope Hat actually says...mystical gibberish. Yes. Seriously.
(she then thinks of the time where someone actually said "mystical gibberish" in an earlier chapter...and double-facepalms)
You have got to be kidding me.
Anyway...Akumaro gives the clone some fake memories. And when he's revealed...he's given the name "Triple Kill". And he looks like...oh, God, seriously?
He looks like Deker in Power Rangers Samurai. Because...Actor Allusions! They're all the rage now, apparentally!
Triple Deker (because that's so my nickname for him from now on) will serve his master, and he's sent to Tokyo. Then RINO thinks about having Triple Deker replace both Mikoto and Tranza, if he succeeds. Yay, more backstabbing!
In Tokyo, Triple Deker kills people without mercy. (Rika rubs her temples) Then Takeru and Mako see him.
- Takeru: "Woah! That assassin looks like Cole except for the facial hair and dress code!"
And except for the fact that, you know, it's a totally different fucking character altogether. (Rika drinks)
So Takeru fights against Triple Deker, but he's outmatched in every single damn step of the way. And even when the former does morph...yeah. Mako rushes into battle, but then...Triple Deker hits her. Just to show rudeness towards women.
(Rika is stunned into silence)
WHAT THE FUCK?!
- Takeru: "You have no respect for women!"Triple Deker: "Well I finish my opponents as I like."
(Rika twitches)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!
(as Rika heads into another breakdown, we cut back to the clones and All-Stars)
Matoi: You ready?
Saya: Ready.
Christopher: Oh, hell yeah!
(the clones nod)
Clone!Matoi: Ready to destroy them?
Clone!Saya: Yes...she's mine!
Clone!Chris: Let's do it!
Clone!Matoi/Matoi: CHAKUSOU!
Clone!Saya/Saya: GINGA TENSEI!
Clone!Chris/Christopher: LET'S ROCKET!
(and so, the six transform into their respective forms. Saya becomes Ginga Pink, Matoi becomes Go Red, and Christopher becomes the Red Space Ranger. As for the clones, Clone!Saya becomes Dark Ginga Pink, Clone!Matoi becomes Dark Go Red, and Clone!Chris becomes Dark Red Space Ranger)
Ryota: You can do it, guys!
Rin: Oh, I hope nothing bad happens to them...
Sean: Chris, kick your clone's ass!
Matoi: The lives of people are the future of this planet! Burning rescue spirits! Kyuukyuu Sentai! Go! Go! FIVE!
Saya: The legendary blade that slices through the galaxy! Seijuu Sentai! GINGAMAN!
Christopher: ...I'm gonna wreck your shit up. I'm the Red Space Ranger, Christopher! REMEMBER IT!
Clone!Matoi: Impressive speeches. They'll be the last words you'll ever speak. GET THEM!
Matoi: Saya, Christopher, MOBILIZE!
(and so, the two teams fight their respective counterparts. So far, they're so easily matched...)
(as Rika recovers yet again...)
Rika: Okay, now I'm better.
Cole is teleported to Triple Deker's area, and the latter reveals that he's created to destroy him. The former realizes that, yes, he has been cloned...aaaaaand before he fights, he removes his shirt.
(Rika rubs her head) Why does he do that? Oh, right, FANSERVICE.
The two are evenly matched until Akumaro shows up. The foe reveals that he's only here to state a proposal. And what is it going to be? He kept some people hostage, and the only way to earn their freedom is if Cole arrives at Nagasaki Bay. What's going to happen? He has to fight against Triple Deker, and he can't use his powers as Red Conqueror.
Oh, and he shows a captured tourist bus as proof. Akumaro tells Cole to show up by sundown tomorrow, or they all die. He and Triple Deker disappear. Cole, Takeru, and Mako talk a bit, and they leave.
(Rika leans back) Gee, I wonder what will happen.
(Tranza looks like he's ready to say something, but he holds his tongue)
At the New Skybase, most people are against the decision at first. How? Take a look at this.
- Aya: "Cole I cannot let you challenge that new villain just like that. Besides you and Aka Red are needed to save a greater amount of people."
Then how the fuck do you propose saving, oh, I don't know, a fucking tourist bus, Aya? Just let the hostages die like that? WHAT THE HELL?!
(Rika is shaking)
Cole decides that he has to fight. Aya, great planner and leader that she is, plans to work behind the scenes, as there may be other villains who can spring a trap and kill him. Naturally, Cole's relentless, and...(she drinks) We get the whole "use brains, not brawn" moral shoved into our heads again.
...I almost wonder if Akizuki uses that particular moral in almost all of his stories. I shudder to think...
Oh, and speaking of morals?
- Gai: "But fight dirty if you have to because the United Alliance of Evil is pretty dirty."
...yes. If a villain plays dirty, play dirty back.
(Rika shakes her head again and just lets out a sob)
Tranza: <Rika...she's breaking. I hope she snaps out of it!>
<...>
<Wait. I'm starting to...actually feel sorry for her? I no longer want to see her suffer? Why did I not catch that before?>
<Why do I feel this way?>
(with a small spark of her strength, Rika pulls up a picture, the one where a certain All-Star is with several others...including a rumored new Ranger)
Rika: ...if there was anything I've ever learned, it's this—no matter what life throws at me, I just need to stay strong. I can't despair, otherwise...the people I've met, and so many others, will be doomed.
(she hugs the picture tight)
So...w-where was I? Oh, yes. We get a scene with Cole and Sakura together. She's gaining feelings for him, exactly like Jasmine wanted. Regardless, the talk consists of A) the group being supportful—er, "support" and B) Cole's fucking proposal of love.
To paraphrase a character played by a certain All-Star, "isn't that a little sudden?"
As Sakura stands silently, thinking things through, Cole apologizes. Yeah, right.
(at the battle, eventually, Clone!Matoi pulls out a V-Mode Brace)
Matoi: <What the...?>
Clone!Matoi: Now you'll get to taste death. (he charges the weapon and presses some numbers) V-Mode Crash.
(a powerful beam shoots Matoi, weakening him. Matoi grabs his Five Lasers, and he shoots his clone squarely in the chest)
Clone!Saya: What's wrong, Saya? Afraid to fight?
Saya: I'm not afraid.
(Clone!Saya tries to slash her counterpart with the Starbeast Sword, but Saya counters it. The two ladies synchronize their attacks until Saya gains an upper hand by blinding her clone with a Petal Dance, then slashing her)
(meanwhile, Christopher and Clone!Chris are still at it, with the both of them using psychic attacks and shooting at each other with the Astro Blaster. Eventually...)
Clone!Chris: I know just how to break you. Why wait to kill your friend when I can do it now?
(he turns to Sean, and he seizes him with his psychic powers)
Christopher: No.
(Clone!Chris reaches one hand, and he tries to literally break Sean's mind, making a squeezing motion, and the man screams in pain)
No! FUCK YOU!
(this enrages Christopher, and he wildly shoots at his clone, screaming. Naturally, the clone did not expect such anger, and he loses his hold, breaking the powers. Even though Sean's weakened, he's still okay, just suffering a headache)
(at the base...)
Rika: Okay...
The tournament is set the next day. Akumaro tells RINO that if Triple Deker wins, he can replace Mikoto. RINO then orders him to kill the hostages, no matter who wins. Seriously.
(Rika shrugs)
The area's filled with lots of people—the U.A.O.E mooks, the hostages, and some of the Rangers and Sentai Warriors. Oh, and Cole, who once again feels the need to take off his shirt again, has his own cheerleaders. Which consists of Sakura, Jasmine, Ranru, Nanami, and Mako.
And yes, Sakura's the leader, much to Satoru's dismay.
As Cole and Triple Deker climb up on stage, they fight. Even the U.A.O.E villains argue a bit in their base. And yes, RINO is stupid enough to tell Tranza that Triple Deker will replace him if he wins.
...wow. (Rika facepalms)
Also, this happens.
- RINO: "I'll be keeping an eye on that woman…. Kimberly Hart. She has intrigued me every time she has showed up. Such beauty, such tenacity… she will be worthy of becoming one of my properties and trophies."
(Rika's eyes grow wide)
- RINO: "And I can fix myself with the other girls too like Jasmine and Sakura should I get bored with Kimberly."
...no. I'll explain that in more detail later. Much, much later. Because it's so sick, it has to be said. Has to.
(Rika curls herself up)
At the tournament, Triple Deker and Cole still fight. Meanwhile, the Shinkengers are prepared for any cheating going on. And then Triple Deker manages to knock Cole to the ground, gloating.
...don't expect it to last long. Because soon, Aka Red shows up, and he tells Cole to not give up. Especially since many people's lives are hanging in the balance. You know, Aka Red, a simple "never give up!" would suffice, because it would also work thematically.
Naturally, Cole gets pissed off as he stands up, and he realizes that there's one weakness. Specifically, the abdominal area. He punches Triple Deker in that area.
- Triple Deker: "Hey what the? I feel so much pain."
Because it had to be pointed out.
So after Cole makes a grand speech, he just punches the shit out of Triple Deker, who gets knocked down. Then he gets up again. And just when you think that there isn't really anything that will take him down, Cole's final attack is punching a big-ass hole into his clone's chest, killing him.
And making him explode. (Rika raises her arms as if to say, "What the fuck?")
After that, Akumaro isn't happy about the events. Cole tells him to let the hostages go, but the villain reveals that he's just following RINO's orders to, of course, kill the hostages.
Also, he combined Cole's rage with the hostages' despair for future purposes. (Rika pauses) No. I've already made one Obligatory Joke, I'm not going to make another one right now.
(at the battle, Matoi and his clone are weakened, until the first man reveals his V-Lancer)
Matoi: V-Slash!
(he performs the attack, finishing off his clone)
(Meanwhile, Clone!Saya uses Solarbeam, weakening Saya, until...)
Saya: I have to admit. That was good. But this is better. (she rushes) Starbeast Sword Technique: Flower Heart!
(she executes the attack, defeating her clone)
(and then Christopher stands over to his clone, Spiral Saber in hand)
Christopher: You're going down. (he looks at Sean, who's trying his best to stop a bit of a nosebleed going on) Hey, Sean.
Sean: Y-yeah?
Christopher: Should I kill him now?
(Sean immediately recognizes the seriousness in his friend's voice, and, of course, that saying. Then he nods a bit)
Sean: Yeah. Do it.
(Christopher nods, then he turns to the clone, who's about to try to stop him)
Christopher: Spiral Saber!
(He slashes his clone, and yes, Clone!Chris is defeated. The three All-Stars take deep breaths)
...damn, that was tough!
(Then, as expected, the three clones fade away...)
Matoi: Is everyone all right?
Christopher: Kind of.
Saya: Yeah.
Sean: I'll live. (smiles)
Rin: I'm glad to hear that! But...maybe we should rest for a bit before we go on.
Christopher: But Rika...who knows what will happen? I don't know about you guys, but I'm not going to stand around, wait for fucking doom to happen.
Mao: Well...I did find a sort of healing pool nearby. Maybe we all can use that.
Ryota: Then it's settled. We'll use that pool, and then we'll go forward.
(and so, the All-Stars continue on their quest)
(at the base...)
Rika: So, after the plan was revealed, Takeru tells Cole that the villains were planning to kill them all along. (she just shakes her head in confusion) Cole's rage blows the ring up—yes, seriously—and Akumaro shows surprise at the Shinkengers' appearance. After they tell the villain how they knew about the treachery, Genta frees the hostages from the ropes, and Ryunosuke and Chiaki use their Mojikara to send them home.
Yeah, like that.
Takeru and Mako use their powers to weaken Akumaro, but then he retreats. After the fight, Cole comes down from the ring, and the group heads back to the New Skybase.
Oh, wait, Sakura calls for Cole, and they both hug. And yes, he tells her to say the word if she's ready to be his girlfriend. Why do I feel that...they're really not a good couple? I could see him as being manipulative, if not...pushy. Especially with all those moments where he just wants for her to fall in love.
After a scene in the U.A.O.E with Tranza mocking RINO, and the latter getting upset—
- RINO: "Well I hope you get more submissive Tranza, just think if I could revert you back to being a vegetable or a child."
...what the fuck. (is absolutely horrified, seeing RINO as...this bratty, manipulative...she has no idea)
And so this chapter ends with Cole being congratulated in the New Skybase, and Sakura's with him.
- Cole: "My challenges have just begun. With that great power I got from Aka Red comes really great responsibility."
...three times! Good God, yeah, I know the whole "with great power comes great responsibility" is a stock Shout Out, but three times in the same fanfic?
(Rika drinks)
As Cole eats, he thinks about how happy he is with his friends. Sakura still thinks about her romance with Cole. The young man also thinks about new challenges, how all this power will corrupt him sooner or later. About how he has to overcome his love.
...gag me.
What stupidities will Rika face when she's reading the Changeman "tribute"? Will the All-Stars recover from that sudden attack? And what will Radiguet plan next?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
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