They explain that ion systems are not responsive, and that they (Lando and Wedge inside a star destroyer) are getting sucked into the mouth of the World Devastator. Lando bemoans that that is two star destroyers he lost now, and maybe he wasn’t cut out to command them. He continues whining while he’s in the escape pod.
Luke: The rebels have no hope against the World Devastators, My master.
Sidious: You mean our devastators, my awesome apprentice.
Luke:The art of misery knows no one greater than you, my master...
And it goes on like this for several minutes. G-Gah, what douches. After getting bored of kissing the emperor’s old, moldy behind, Luke leaves to give the rebels a surprise they won’t soon forget.
A new fleet of rebel fighters suddenly come out of hyperspace and get those campy imperial jerks. I start cheering quite frankly, because come on. I can’t see it but even I can sense the ass kick-ery going on here. Wedge says that among reinforcements include X-wings and Frigates. He says it’s like half the galaxy arrived.
Of course, the campy bad-guy is saying that the master control signal has locked out an override command. And soon afterward the devastator exploded pretty much thanks to their own self-destruct sequence. Lando, now safely on the Antares Six, raises an eyebrow as he watches the odd scene.
Lando: It-It’s like whoever is in charge of those World Devastators is some kind of idiot!
I’m sure somewhere Luke is sneezing.
Meanwhile at the planet Byss, an imperial freight complex as they explained, there is a planet security system that constantly threatens them in an annoying manner. If they sneeze wrong, they will be vaporized. I wonder why the rebels can’t deactivate these considering there is seriously no empire any more, but okay. They try to avoid it.
Leia says she can pilot the falcon, but Han whines majorly and doubts her magical girl abilities because, you know, she’s a woman. She takes them into a security zone, (Which Han whines “It’s a security zone!” about 10 times in case she didn’t realize it). They suddenly fall under a hail of laser blasts but you know what, Leia can use the force. So they end up getting permission to land thanks to the Jedi mind-trick. Sadly, it doesn’t last and they end up getting ambushed when they land by guards at any rate.
Random Guard: Well well, what a motley crew we have here! A protocol droid, a smuggler, a WOMAN- – gets shot at-
Seriously, why are guards so dumb and unarmed in the Star Wars universe?
Luke: Leia, you should not have come here. It will not go well. My master wishes to speak to you. These Sententials will escort you to the emperor’s presence.
C3po asks, “Isn’t the emperor supposed to be dead?”, and Han, who should be renamed captain obvious, says Luke has PROBABLY gone crazy.
Of course, the next room they enter is a cloning chamber full of Sidious clones. A random freight complex is clearly a really odd place to have a cloning chamber, but I still give the author credit for calling the clone thing at all. The clones are at different stages in their lifecycle, and as it turns out, he IS uglier as a teenager than as an old man. Beyond the Impossible, anyone?
Han sees Luke and tells him off for being an idiot. And R2’s main programming has been erased and he’s evil now too. In response, Luke starts force choking Han.
Leia in response, gets out her lightsaber. All I have to say is Luke, start running. Sidious starts to cackle about using your anger, and stuff as he usually does whenever he watches any fights. gooooooooooood…! I have a feeling he is getting some perverse sexual thrill from this.
Sidious: Brave little jedi, but such an old lightsaber is not a worthy weapon for you. Sith Lightning tiem! Yay! –zapzap-
Sidious:Take her to my quarters, it is time to begin your ‘training’.
Oh crap, is it that time again? Raping time? As the guards take Leia away, Han pretty much tries to murder Luke for how pissed he is but gets force choked AGAIN. Yeah, if running randomly at him doesn’t work the first time, by all means let’s do it over and over and hope for better results! Yay!
