This chapter is long. Most of it is description and exposition for stuff that probably won't be important beyond this chapter, so I'm glossing over a lot. You're welcome.
That night, Tookie tells the Unicas about the emergency ZipZap, which Bravo showed her the night before. Shiraz asks Tookie if she'll be staying with "pretty boy" after ManAttack.
What about him do you love? His looks? The fact that he's attracted to you? The fact that you're both kleptos? "Deep" implies that there's more to a relationship than teenage infatuation. But if there is anything more to this relationship, we haven't seen it. Tookie hasn't even told Bravo anything about her past, even though he opened up to her with his "tragic" past. Heck, Tookie is lying to him right now, planning on abandoning him without even explaining what's happening. Her life is endangered, and she doesn't trust him enough to tell him this.
If you don't trust someone enough to tell them anything, how can you consider your relationship deep?
Tookie comes up with a plan, suggesting that Piper cause a blackout as a distraction.
The response rankled Tookie too. "Duh", she snapped. Piper sounded like a parrot. "I thought you were the intelligent one."
Overreact, much?
Dylan will fake a fainting spell to draw attention to herself. While people are focused on her, Piper will sneak out, find the main switchboard, and turn the power off. Shiraz will then use her ability to see in the dark to lead the group to the ZipZap.
Shiraz is skeptical of the "goosey-loosey" plan. Tookie tells her that they elected her leader, so she's leading. Dylan "accidentally" calls her Gunnero and BellaDonna to point out Tookie is abusing her power. Tookie retaliates by calling Dylan Zarpessa and Chaste.
Shiraz tells them not to fight, and suggests that Tookie is just tense because of Bravo. Dylan suggests bringing him with them. Tookie rejects the idea, saying that being around the Modelland architecture is his dream. (Without consulting him on the matter, of course. Tookie would rather keep the details from him and make the decision for him.)
We switch scenes. Tookie is preparing for the day the next morning. She realizes that she looks different. That she's developed slight curves on her hips: "the same hips that had tickled when Bravo had smoothed down her eyebrows with his dampened thumb." She realizes that she might actually be pretty.
This train of thought is interrupted by Guru Gunnero making an announcement.
Dylan and Piper encourage Tookie to win. Ci~L then comes in, saying she's there to pick up Tookie because she's one of the contestants. She leads her out of the bathroom towards the arena. Tookie spends the time consider could-have-beens.
*facepalm*
The sad part is that according to the narrative, she's right. Ci~L wouldn't be considering sacrificing Tookie and her friends if they fit the standard template for beauty set by Modelland.
Ci~L then tells Tookie that she and her friends should come straight to Ci~L after ManAttack. They arrive, and Tookie goes to the preparation area. A Mannecant tells her to strip because ManAttack is performed in underwear.
The two other contestants arrive: Chaste and Zarpessa. Zarpessa has spent the time since her psychotic break in the infirmary.
Zarpessa glances at Tookie, but doesn't look irritated or hateful. Tookie assumes this means that Zarpessa has reformed. She asks Zarpessa if she's okay.
You did not just compare sleepwalking to mental illness, did you? Because that would be unbelievably insensitive. Also, stupid.
Zarpessa, naturally, does not take this well, saying that Tookie doesn't understand anything. That Tookie couldn't understand. She then demands to know if Tookie said anything about her family.
They go into the arena, which has a wooden plank. Chaste bounces on it, and it turns out that it has lower gravity than normal, allowing her to bounce higher than normal.
Tookie then sees the match-ups. Chaste vs. Alexander, Zarpessa vs. Webb, and Tookie vs. Bravo.
Narzz tells them there are four stages of ManAttack:
- The Touch
- Wardrobe
- Maquillage (makeup)
- The Snaps / The Photo Finish
Each battle has a theme.
Bravo comes into the Bella prep area to see Tookie. Zarpessa is startled to find out that Bravo and Tookie are together. Zarpessa leaves, slamming the door behind her.
Bravo tells Tookie the rules, since Gunnero prefers making the Bellas struggle instead of actually understanding the rules. Tookie tries to talk to Bravo during this, but he's too busy explaining the rules.
Here's a very abridged summary. There are penalties for hitting your opponents face or the guys' "neither-nether regions", not getting dressed during the Wardrobe segment, and for falling off the center plank (although anti-gravity will prevent injuries when this happens).
The Touch is when the opponents touch each other and attempt to knock the other person off the plank. Then during Wardrobe, clothes shoot out of some holes and the contestants have to get dressed while following the theme of the photo shoot.
During the Make-Up phase some balls of make-up - called Maki Balls - appear in the air. You get points deducted for not applying makeup and points for applying it well. After they are touched, the Maki Balls explode after a short time. You lose 10 points for getting hit by one.
At the end, there is a countdown. At the end of the countdown, a picture is taken. The goal is to be the focal point of the photo.
The people are competing against their opponent, but they are also competing against their team mates for the highest score.
Chaste wins her match. While Zarpessa has her match, Tookie finally tells Bravo about her plans. She'd tried to tell him (for 15 minutes), but he kept interrupting her any time she started talking.
Tookie then says she's escaping from Modelland that day, and that she and her friends are taking the ZipZap out in a few minutes. Bravo asks her why she's leaving.
I want to strangle Tookie. The sacrifice rumors are common knowledge. All she has to say is: "the sacrifice rumors are true, and my friends and I are going to be the next victims if we don't leave now."
Bravo gets ticked, accusing Tookie of using him.
He tells her that he bet Alexander and Webb that he could get a "funny-looking girl" to fall in love with him.
Tookie screams at him to get out, and he does.
Zarpessa's match draws to a close.
Tookie decides that she's tired of feeling helpless, and that she could have the power to change her future. She won't let what Bravo did make her crumble. I sincerely hope not. Boy troubles are way less important than the whole "imminent death" thing.
Zarpessa wins her match (scoring higher than Chaste did), and Tookie and Bravo's match begins.
Tookie tells herself that she is powerful and that she's going to "Kick. His. Ass!"
Gunnero announces the two.
O.O
A teacher perving on students is incredibly creepy, especially when the student is most likely underage. (The girls are the targets of similar comments during the match.)
The match begins. Tookie rushes Bravo, and hits him in the neck, knocking him off the plank headfirst. Only the antigravity prevents his head from slamming into the ground.
The Wardrobe phase starts, and Tookie gets hit in the face by a crown and a dress. Tookie nearly falls off the plank, but Bravo grabs her by the waist and pulls her back.
Gunnero, shut up. Please, I'm begging you.
While Bravo dresses, Tookie comes over and puckers up. She tells him to close his eyes, which he does. She then hits him in the face, which loses her points.
"And I am not a joke!" Tookie screamed.
The Maki Balls appear, and Bravo kicks them away from them, losing him points.
Bravo tells Tookie to get dressed or she'll lose points. Tookie ignores him, putting some gloss on her lips. She then gives a very long, detailed description of what her first kiss will be like.
In involves a perfect sunset, a garden of golden flowers, a guy wearing a tuxedo and singing a song he wrote to Tookie, dancing, etc. He'll then open his shirt to revealing words saying: "Tookie you are the most amazing girl I have ever laid eyes on. And I can't decide which I love more, your green or your brown eye."Then he'll kiss her forehead, cheeks and nose, spray whipped cream in her mouth and his. Then they'll kiss.
Tookie is setting herself up for some major disappointment.
Bravo then tells Tookie that he wants her to win the match, telling her to throw some Maki Balls at him. Tookie debates throwing the crown at him.
Bravo says that he feels guilty and that Tookie deserves better than him.
Zarpessa is appalled by this, naturally.
Bravo again tells Tookie to throw some Maki Balls at him and she grabs one. It then leaks yellow liquid and transforms into a SMIZE.
Tookie puts it on, and feels energy flow through her. We get a fairly nice description of how it feels like.
Tookie felt—no she was—intoxicating.
Everyone is stunned by this, and everyone "paled in comparison to Tookie's ravishing glow." Bravo then grabs the remaining Maki Ball from Tookie, so he can let it explode on him.
Tookie then poses for the camera as the countdown ends. Bravo looks away.
Tookie wins the match 106 to 19, becoming the new champion.
Am I supposed to be glad Tookie won? Tookie didn't do anything to win. She was given her victory on a silver platter. Bravo threw the match, doing everything he could to lose points. I'm not sure the SMIZE was even necessary (and it's sudden appearance seems to be a blatant Deus ex Machina).
Celebrating Tookie's victory would be like celebrating someone winning a tennis match because their opponent refused to return any of their serves, and they had been given a magic tennis racquet that ensured all of their serves were perfect.
Someone in the crowd screams that a girl fainted, and then the lights all go out.
Let's play a game. It's called Swap the Genders.
A boy reveals that he's planning on leaving his girlfriend, and refuses to say why. Hurt and angry, she tells him that she only dated him on a bet. He gets mad at this and decides to take out his frustration on her.
He proceeds to attack her, hitting her in the neck hard enough to knock her over and punching her in the face. She doesn't fight back, and tells him that she doesn't deserve him, apologizing. He verbally lashes out at her, saying that he knows a girl that's much better than her.
The girl then reveals that there never was a bet to date him, but she wishes there had been one. She proceeds to throw a sports match out of guilt for her actions.
What do you think the chances of the boy being portrayed sympathetically are?
We're supposed to sympathize with Tookie in this, even though this kind of crap would never be portrayed as sympathetic if a guy had done it. I loathe this kind of double standard.
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