So You Wanna Do a Cinematech: Nocturnal Emissions Liveblog

Beary Scary

Burning Desire

Episode 46: Timecode – 10:58 A bad morning for Larry Laffer in Leisure Suit Larry 7: Love for Sail. It started when he woke up chained to a bed in a hotel. The culprit was his fling from the night before. “A night with you gives a woman plenty of time to think,” she stated, after taking a drag off of her cigarette. “All that New Age philosophy crap just isn't me.”

She leaned over to pick Larry's wallet off of the bed. “What I really love... is money!”

“You can't leave me here like this!” Larry whined.

“You're right.” The felonious female whipped around and put her cigarette into Larry's mouth before leaving. “So long, sucker.”

“Hey, I don't smoke! Oh, baby, you are the lowest. This has gotta be the worst night of my life!”

”Oh, well. At least things can't get any worse,” Larry thought to himself, an instant before he coughed, dropping the cigarette onto the bed, making it catch fire.

”I should never say that.”

11:40: A montage of clips from the adventure game, Journey to the Wild Divine: The Passage, by The Wild Divine Project. It's never a good sign when a developer names themselves after one of their own projects. Anyway, I recall this PC game's intent as a relaxing, New Age-y game. Seemingly poking fun at this fact, the editors put butt rock music over the footage. Perhaps it was supposed to be a counterpoint to the "new age philosophy crap" mentioned by the Black Widow above?

Apparently, the expensive biofeedback hardware that the game shipped with pumped the price up to $160 USD. Dang!

12:26: Meanwhile, Back at the... near-death situation for Larry, he had just managed to get onto the hotel balcony. He stopped to pick up a photo off of the floor, only to get a paper cut.

Larry: I hate paper cuts!

He tried to pick it up again and stuffed it inside of his briefs...

Larry: I hate paper cuts...!

He peered over the edge of the railing and saw firefighters holding a trampoline waaay down on the ground floor. For some reason, one of the rescuers had a Swedish accent.

Firefighter: Yump! Yump!
Larry: Okay, I'm coming!
Firefighter: I wish I had for myself a dollar every time I heard that!

The hotel room exploded just as Larry made a desperate last-minute jump off of the railing. He landed on the trampoline, which led to a hilarious chain of events: He swung around on a flag pole, ricocheted off of a singing fat lady's breasts, and got sprung off of the pool springboard. For several seconds, the sound effects took over as the action moved offscreen: a screaming woman, a careening car, and glass breaking.

When it was finally over, Larry was shown having landed mouth-first onto a cactus. A sad, solitary drop of saliva flowed from his mouth down the cactus' branch. Yes, it was suggestive, but bawdy and audacious.

An interesting thing about this sequel's art style is that it resembles a cartoon, not pixellated graphics. It's more charming than the later 3D games, which were made without the involvement of series creator Al Lowe. While it's arguably kind of cute to see Larry as a very short, nigh-Bill Murray lookalike in 2D, it's a little creepy to see his equally diminutive and cartoony nephew try to woo much taller "hot" chicks in three dimensions.

Hardcore Gaming 101 has a deep and probing series of articles about the LSL series; check it out.

17:55: The intro to EVE: The Lost One on the PlayStation. It's the sequel to the anime-styled adventure game, EVE Burst Error. EVE is exceedingly obscure to the United States, so I have little to no idea what's going on, but it looks pretty cool. More info here.