Hello again, readers. Sorry for missing a day, had important stuff to tend to. So, I'll be doing two chapters today! And they are both normal sized ones, so it's like two installments in one!
Kill me now...
CHAPTER 9:
We open on Sonic having either eaten too much or having gotten food poisoning from eating too many chilli dogs. After a conversation leading to the knowledge that Sonic won't be going to the Acorn Ball, and Sonic vomitting into a basin, we get Tails calling the duo.
Sonic tells Tails he can't let Sally down and needs to get to the ball, Shadow disagrees, Sonic flirts. Tails is still on the phone, he gets freaked out. Understandable, really, I feel prety freaked out reading this crap myself.
All of this leads to a quick aside to Tails at his house, which I assume is the Author's half-assed attempt at comedy:
-Just don't think about just watch tv he sat down to see sponge bob on "This should help he thought.-
Back at the apartment of our main characters (all of whom have personalities on par with a freakin' toaster)), Conor and Fiona wake up, Conor gets ready for another day of pulling a plan out of his ass. Fiona notices Conor is kind of down and not himself, almost as if the Author is try to give his character, you know, an actual personality besides a Marty-Stu and the captain of Wangst.
Fiona apparently finds this super-hot and tries to bed Conor. Conor says something about 'breeding' (but mean 'breathing' mind you, although suffocating in a pair of breasts is one of the bests ways to go. Science proves it. Kinda)before Fiona manages to get him going until...Rouge walks in. It is at this point where, if it was me writing this crap, I would've at least referenced a fellow bad piece of media to try and get some laughs, but I'll take it as a cue to reference it here. Ahem.
OH HAI ROUGE. The sense of accomplishment for making myself laugh and everyone else groan has already been lost, however, as I still have more than ten more chapters to go before I can leave this story forever.
Of course like any generic attempt at romance, Rouge just happened to be about to apologise and Conor ends up running after her to explain. Conor gets pissed when he doesn't get his way (like a snot-nosed brat of a kid) and gets the next best thing: Fiona. The plan to make Tails have a Face–Heel Turn is then put into motion.
This plan includes beating the ever-loving crap out of the 8 year old child. Including throwing him down stairs, which can potentially kill someone. Considering he's a part of their current plan, this could be a bad thing. However, Tails is alive and wakes up a non-specific amount of time later.
The plan is to, incrediously, fool Tails into thinking Sonic and Shadow kicked his ass, as he can't seem to remember anything. He is, however, held on a chair by a non-descript mechanism. Conor and Fiona try to make Tails join the Dark Side but he's having none of it, or at least, he's very hesitant to do so, I can only imagine he's hesitant rather than completely against it because Sonic has been kind of a dick to him over the years in all canons.
Fiona does what all girls like her do and proceeds to tempt him to join, by doing things. Yes, those sort of things.
Tails joins the crew and I can offically go curl up in a fetal position in a corner. The chapter ends.
CHAPTER 10:
The chapter opens with Conor waking up and seeing Amy and Blaze...fight over Tails. What? Ignoring that, Conor decides to be a Jerkass by teasing Rouge for being pissed at him, and rightfully so really (Rouge being mad, not Conor being an asshole), considering his actions. We also get some more lovely imagery of Tails involved in more sexual activity. Also, I find it slightly sad that even Tails seems to be getting more action than Sonic in this story.
Speaking of Sonic, we go to his home to see him watch Shadow leave before deciding to use his free time and TV to his advantage to watch porn. There is only one way this can go fo a male, really.
Back with our idiot villains, a plan is set in motion to interrupt the Acorn Ball and kidnap Sally Acorn. This goes surprisingly well, considering how secure you'd expect Castle Acorn to be. Conor and co. find Sally and, maybe I'm going insane, but I find this part funny:
-Wait from knothole said Sally
Yep in the flesh and metal Conor smirked
Everyone went silent
What wasn't that funny Conor said looking around.-
Eggman is called in after a failed attempt at holding Sally hostage. This ends with Conor taking the throne of the castle, without killing ANY of the royal family. WHAT?
The chapter ends with Tails, of all people, shooting Eggman various times in the stomach before Conor gets annoyed with the guy not dying and crushes his head.
Join me next time, for more. If you'll excuse me, the corner is practically calling to me. Later!
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