Any good story starts with the title and, particularly with fanfiction, generally a preface or introductory note is thrown in. This story has both, but neither are particularly good. Case in point: LOVE, BULLETS AND IMMORTALITY is not a great title, also, ALL CAPS does not, I repeat, does not make it sound better. The introductory note to this story is all the warning we need for this fanfic: "Sonadow, Sonamy, Sonaze there will be lemons". Oh, oh yes, that's right. THREE people paired with Sonic seperatley, lemons, and even Yaoi. Oh, this will be so much fun...so, so much fun...
Our 'story' begins with Conor. A blond hedgehog (so very, very original) wearing, according to the description, what can only be one of the tackiest ties in history. I mean, good GOD man, it's a tie! Not a flag for racing events! Ol' Conor here soon meets up with Amy and Blaze, who are...not quite the same as in the games.
The first interactions between the three already reveals how much of a Gary-Stu this guy is. Apparently he can 'run as fast as Sonic if not faster'. Every time this guy ends up showing Gary-Stu traits, I will display a counter. Like so; Stu Points: 1. Let's see how many he can get. On a side-note here, apparently Conor speaks with an Irish accent...from Dublin
This guy's ability to muddle words astounds me. Apparently, all of the rumours about Conor are 'through'. Also, he has a scar. This scar is something you musn't touch, otherwise Conor here will kick your ass.
Next, suicide! However, if you actually read through the introduction to this MSTing, you'll know he is perfectly fine, because he's immortal. Stu Points: 2. Also, we get a fairly decent question from Amy: "How did you do that?" which gets a...confusing response: "A gift or a curse take your pick". I can understand calling it both, I can understand choosing to call it either, but offering for someone else to call it either sounds...odd. He sounds so casual about it, too.
Oh, remember Amy's rather decent question? Yeah, she's not as good at answering questions. Case in point: Under the context of kidnapping Sonic, Conor asks "Why?" which gets Amy to say "Cause we're paying you duh". Also, why are they hiring him to kidnap Sonic? Oh, because he's dating Shadow.
As with any hired person/Mobian/creatue/thing, Conor's next question is how he shall be paid. Apparently they are in Europe due to the reward being 50,000 Euro. Also, he gets an extra through two slaves which, you guessed it, have a certain main purpose. Oh and there is an opening fee: Amy and Blaze. Yes, a Lemon ensues. Yes, it isn't very good either.
After that Lemon which, while bad, is not nearly as bad as a certain other fanfic's sexual endeavours, we get Fiona and Rouge, the former of which is a character from the Archie Comics Sonic continuity, who are the slaves mentioned by Blaze and Amy. Why are they slaves? How did they become slaves? We may never know...
The chapter ends with a confusing (possibly)inner monolouge from Conor. In case you aren't reading with me, here it is, because if I try and describe it I'll probably go insane:
"Say I let Sonic go or I kill Shadow and don't touch this Sonic guy I could stay here with these chicks which are begging for it or take those two and leave have them be my own personal assistances and continue as usual. Ok new plan I'll get the girls to introduce me as their friend and then I'll kill Shadow or kidnap Sonic. Should be fun so let's see what tomorrow brings"
Also, a footnote from the author: "Chapter 1 finished its gona be fun to do this and also I got stuff going on update when ever"
Since he's saying it's fun, I'm going to assume I may end up sticking forks through my eyes. Later, everybody! Pray for our collective sanity!
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