It's New Year's Eve, and I needed a break from the Les Yay. Now, since it's been way too long since I've updated, I'm actually gonna jump right in to episode 6 of Kämpfer...
The episode begins with yet another Cold Opening summary, but, since this is the halfway-mark of the show, it attempts to sum up a lot more than I think it can handle. Of course, it pretty much dilutes it to "boobs boobs boobs FIGHT boobs", which...isn't too far off, I must say.
The episode proper starts with Male!Natsuru having a wet dream about kissing Sakura, but then Sakura turns into Not-Sakaki. He wakes up with a start (this time it actually is a Catapult Nightmare) and knocks Hara Kiri Tiger over with a 'splat' noise. With the sounds they make, you'd think they stuffed these little guys with actual organ meat. Anyway, apparently while Natsuru was having his fantasy, H.K. Tiger was dreaming about "a bath-loving girl, a guy with glasses, and a robot". Is this an Evangelion reference? Gurren Lagann? Maybe. Then, Natsuru continues his mascot abuse...sigh. It is at this moment that Natsuru smells the smelly smell of something that smells like...curry!
A NEW CHALLENGER IS APPROACHING! The name of the childhood friend is Mikoto, and it turns out she essentially broke in to Natsuru's house to make him curry. Er. Ah, it could have been worse. She comes in wearing an apron and nothing else. It still could be worse! Get a hold of yourself, Pirka! This is Kämpfer! You should be used to this by now!
We cut to the next day with Natsuru and Mikoto waiting for the bus to school. It turns out Akane is watching them, but she runs off when she finds out the two of them were friends since they were little and had breakfast together. Good idea, Akane. Give up while you still can. Then we have Mikoto being totally oblivious to the fact that the male and female Natsuru are the same person, which made me cringe my head off. Seriously, Mikoto? It would be a nice twist if, I don't know, someone could tell. Speak of the devil, Natsuru's bracelet starts glowing and after a little bit of Gratuitous English ("SUUPAH-ULTURAH-EHMEHRGENCII!") Female!Natsuru is back. Unfortunately for her, she gets caught by the rape squad Student Council people again. It turns out the Culture Fest isn't over yet, and they're gonna force Natsuru to work in a maid cafe. Of course, they also give her a shorter skirt than the rest. Their exuse for this? "Its a ''QUASI''-maid cafe!"
A VIP guest then shows up: and it's Not-Sakaki (honestly, who else did you expect?). She forces Natsuru to sit down, but not for the reason you'd guess: she's actually here to warn Natsuru that a new Kämpfer is somewhere in the area! She also called Kaede to the meeting, so she shows up and swoons over Natsuru...
Here comes the ultimate BLAM. It might just be the version of the episode I'm watching or the particular website it's on, but after this, where it would normally cut straight to the eyecatch, it instead cuts to — a hot dog commercial. SERIOUSLY. Did they forget to cut it out? I lol'd. It's settled, this show really does need more weiners!
Eyecatch is Female!Natsuru being felt up by a girl with dog ears and a tail (I assume it's meant to be the dog doll that Mikoto has).
Back to the action! Not-Sakaki, Kaede and Natsuru have a discussion about Kämpfer that they hide from Kaede by pretending the whole thing is "hypothetical". Then Kaede attempts to get Natsuru to kiss her. Of course, Natsuru doesn't want to, so she makes a deal and the two end up hanging out together at the Culture Fest instead. It is then that the two of them walk into a "haunted house", where the new Kämpfer tries to attack them (and we see that her bracelet is red, so she's technically an "enemy"). Kaede doesn't notice, but Natsuru runs after the attacker until - surprise - we find out it's Mikoto. She's got a big-ass katana and a fistfull of bad memories and thinks (direct quote) it's a "Nice day for [Natsuru] to die.". Am I the only one reminded of that crazy blue-haired girl from Haruhi Suzumiya? I digress. As Kämpfer-Mikoto jumps down to attack, we get some random shots of her skirt and boobs just...because, I guess. She tries to give Natsuru the ol' slice-and-dice but Akane shows up with a dirty mouth and a fistfull of bad memories firearm to back her up. It is then when Not-Sakaki shows up and does something they should have done a long time ago - she asks Akane and Natsuru to transform back into their "civilian" forms, revealing to Mikoto that male and female Nats are the same person! Good on you, Not-Sakaki! This is gonna save a lot of confusion in the future.
We cut to later on, where — MASCOTS OMG — sorry, that's kind of a reflex. What I meant to say was that we cut to later on, where the four Kämpfers discuss Kämpfer-ness. This doesn't lead to much with the exception of another voice actor joke and Mikoto bluntly telling Natsuru he "sucks", which I admit made me laugh. Wait, how come all the other Entrails Animals can move but '''Strangled Stray Dog''' (Mikoto's) can't?
It is then Natsuru remembers that he left Kaede hangin' all that time, so she meets up with her and, after a quick exchange, Natsuru is forced to stay over at Kaede's house for the night. Siiigh...what's this gonna lead to? More Les Yay—
Oh my god, the next episode preview shows tons and tons of NEW ENTRAILS ANIMALS?! HOT DOG~! (And I don't mean that random commercial)
This is Chester A. Bum Pirka reminding you that now is a good time to visit our concession stand for a delicious hot dog! Mmm, hot dogs...
