(These first few chapters I’ll be doing from memory, as it was kind of a retroactive decision to write this Let’s Play. So, unfortunately, I have no pictures. Sorry.)
As I stated in the prologue, I am completely new to the Total War experience. This doesn’t mean that I’m a complete noob, but I imagine that my kingdom and I will experience a few “hiccups” on my valiant quest to unite Europe under my Iron Fist Glorious Banner. I’m experienced with real-time strategy as I have respectable skills in Starcraft, Command and Conquer, Age of Empires, etc. It’s the “Larger Picture” aspect of the game that I’m more unfamiliar with. Diplomacy, raising an army, keeping the people happy, etc. The closest thing I’ve played, I imagine would be Civilization. The first one. Maybe my experience with Dynasty Warriors: Empires will help me as well.
This’ll be fun.
Let’s get into the game, finally, shall we?
At the Campaign selection screen, I’m presented with the option to play the tutorial, which I take. I’ll almost always play the tutorial of any given game when given the option. It gives me a chance to familiarize myself with the controls, menus, etc. It’s a nice warm-up.
From the tutorial menu, they give me two different tutorials disguised as a mini-campaign, “The Battle of Hastings,” which is a combat tutorial, and “The Norman Conquest,” which is one of those “Larger Picture” dealies I spoke of earlier. I choose The Battle of Hastings.
After a loading screen featuring a quote about war and the general nature thereof (I actually really like these), I’m taken to the battlefield. It seems that William the Conqueror is facing off against those sons of bastards, the Anglo-Saxons. The cowardly Saxons have taken position on a hill overlooking William’s army, believing their position gives them an advantage (which it would, in a normal battle). Their army consists of a peasant militia along with some archers and light cavalry, while William’s army is manned by only the bravest spearmen, most loyal cavalry, and highly skilled archers. Although the forces appear even in numbers, William’s army is the superior army. This is gonna be a rout.
Suddenly, the camera is wrested from my control and I’m taken to the edge of the battlefield, where William’s son, William Rufus, is waiting to join the battle. Unfortunately for him, and by extension me, his orders are to wait by a nearby bridge and watch William’s flank. Will do, Sir! His small troop consists of himself and some cavalry, a group of archers, and some spearmen. It’s a good balance of long range (archers), short range/melee (spearmen), and speed (the cavalry, of course!).
At this point, my battlefield advisor instructs me on how to select my units, move them into position, change their formation, and generally boss them around. Dance you fools! Dance for your Master! Yes… This pleases me…
But what is this? Suddenly, a small group of soldiers appear! It’s those cowardly Saxon dogs attempting to take William’s flank! We’ll have none of it! This is my chance for glory. My units are all that stand between them and certain victory.
I turn my units to face them in a stunning display of raw power and discipline. The enemy is struck dumb by my mastery of moving units around and gives me plenty of time to get into formation. After my men get in a nice, intimidating line and their shirts are neatly tucked in, my battlefield advisor states that now would be a good time to chuck some pointy sticks at the enemy.
Ok, so that’s not exactly what he says: He tells me that I should unleash a volley of arrows at the enemy to thin their numbers. This strategy will practically be the backbone of any of my battlefield attacks from here on out. First, the archers fire into their ranks to soften them up a bit. Then, you send in the spears for some good, old-fashioned melee, and you use the cavalry’s speed and power to flank the enemy and send them home with their tails firmly tucked between their legs. Or kill them. You know, whatever floats your boat.
It’s at this moment that I should bring up an interesting point: Arrows Don’t Discriminate. You know how in games like Starcraft, if you have units in melee, you can still use long range units alongside them? For example, the Protoss Zealots and Dragoons are a good mix of melee and range. The Zealots stonewall the enemy from reaching your Dragoons who proceed to pound the hell out of the enemy. Well, does anyone here know what happens when you try that strategy using Siege Tanks and Marines? That’s right: Lots of dead Marines. Archers in Total War are a lot like Siege Tanks, in that they don’t understand the concept of not hitting their own guys. This adds an element of realism to the game, so I’m not complaining. I’m just pointing it out.
Also, some of my own guys got killed in the initial spear wave with arrows stuck in their backs. Just sayin’.
After calling off my archers and trouncing the enemy with my spearmen and cavalry, those dirty Saxons turned tail and ran. The battle was ours! I celebrated my victory accordingly by cracking open a cold Pepsi (Hey, lookit! Advertising!).
Soon afterward, William called our units to join in the main battle. Finally! Again, as my units get into position, everyone is kind enough to wait and not attack. They’re being very good sports about this whole “going to war” business, aren’t they?
As before, my battlefield advisor instructs me to fire a volley of arrows at the enemy ranks, specifically their cavalry, since it’s the closest. I do so, and something amazing happens: Their general is killed! Ha ha! Glory to my archers! Most of the Saxon army turns heel and runs, as they realize that any one of them could be next to fall. My advisor informs me that now would be a good time to pursue them with my own cavalry, as William’s army is doing the same. Very well, Advisor. My cavalry gives chase.
But what to do about the units who didn’t run? They’ve foolishly decided to attack our ranks directly. After a little more spearman/archer action, our army wins the day!
This ends the first part of the tutorial.
Now to conquer the rest of England!
