Live Blogs You're only reading this because I rated the game 3/10! Let's read horrible GameFAQs reviews!

Ephraim2252011-04-19 00:10:18

Game FA Qs is perhaps one of the most informative Video Game websites known to man. Created in 1995, the site is a database of video game information, nearly all of which is submitted by volunteer contributors. You can find just about anything you'd want to know about any given game: walkthroughs, maps, cheats, secrets, release dates, box art, reviews...

Haha reviews

Game FA Qs is already notorious for its many Fora, the userbase of which is known to consist primarily of Trolls, idiots, console soldiers, and people too lazy to read the FAQs the damn site is named for. But that wouldn't be enough, for there is a second cesspit of hatred and lies on this otherwise awesome website - the reviews section, where users are allowed to give their opinions on a given game or system.

Maybe you've come across that one review on that one game, and something seems a little off. That is, you can't understand where the reviewer is coming from, or his spelling sucks, or maybe he didn't even play the damn game. I, Ephraim225, am here to expose the worst, most incomprehensible, unreadable, and possibly painful Game FA Qs reviews you have ever had the misfortune of hearing about.

Now, don't get me wrong, we all have opinions. Mine might be different, that's just life etc. etc....but hear me out. I've seen Game FA Qs users write good reviews before. I've seen reviews that I don't agree with but are well-written. We're here to find the reviews that will make you let out a Flat "What", among other unexpected expected reactions.

Let's read horrible Game FA Qs reviews.

Comments

Nyarly Since: Dec, 1969

May 16th 2011 at 1:12:24 AM

I can kind of understand the thing with the C-Gear. I'd rather have the lower screen for other things than a feature, I don't use. But that's a very minor thing, not even an annoyance, and certainly doesn't excuse this horrible... something of a "review".

Emperordaein Since: Dec, 1969

May 16th 2011 at 1:18:35 AM

Well, that was pure idiotic pretentiousness. And while I was wary about Castlevania Ho D's graphics at first, I soon fell in love with the game after playing it.

Envyus Since: Dec, 1969

May 16th 2011 at 10:37:42 AM

damn this was possibly the worst reveiw yet this guy is an idiot

GIG Since: Dec, 1969

May 16th 2011 at 7:45:20 PM

I have never wanted to throat-punch someone over the internet so badly in my life. There was nothing redeemable about this moron's review. At all.

SomeColorMage Since: Dec, 1969

May 17th 2011 at 4:13:21 AM

Man, I knew that GameFAQs was a big source of stupidity, but every review makes it worse and worse. How do you stand this?

TheOneWhoTropes Since: Dec, 1969

May 17th 2011 at 4:36:10 AM

He should go and play the unofficial pokemon MMO and stop writing terrible reviews. Maybe then he'll realise why there isn't an official one.

Korval Since: Dec, 1969

May 17th 2011 at 1:41:44 PM

I don't know. It seems to me that this guy had a single problem that really bugged him, then wrote a review about it. Your refutation of his points was basically saying that if he had fun, that's all he should do. That's a violation of ((Moffs Law}}; he has the right to contemplate his experience and complain about things that don't sit well with him.

Now granted, I wouldn't have written a 40-paragraph essay on how Pokemon has become "too social" of a game. But that bothers him, and it is his right to be bothered by it.

Ephraim225 Since: Dec, 1969

May 17th 2011 at 2:53:25 PM

@Korval: I get that, and if this were a novel, he'd be in the right, but novels are read for their stories - games aren't usually played for their stories, they're played for fun and enjoyment. He enjoyed the game, but then he goes and says there's too much emphasis on multiplayer and the game is constantly nagging you to go online. Which it isn't. He also spent 80% of the review on this one problem that bugs him and did not point out anything setting B&W apart from the previous games, except for the (very small) second-to-last paragraph; this is, in my opinion, a failure of a review, especially considering B&W gave us N.

PataHikari Since: Dec, 1969

May 23rd 2011 at 12:30:00 PM

"These are common for this franchise, oddly people never whine this much about Dragon Quest"

What are you talking about?

90% of people dismissing the series is retards saying it hasn't changed since the NES days

75.87.135.6 Since: Dec, 1969

Jun 9th 2011 at 1:10:46 AM

You know what the worst part about this review is. The reviewer is a Gamefaqs moderator. You would think that a mod would be a little less whiny but then again, another mod mocked a user who was contemplating suicide.

JusticeMan Since: Dec, 1969

Sep 6th 2011 at 9:37:55 PM

Eh... Pokemon does have some immersion issues; perhaps if they didn't allow you to have dupes of certain Legends in-game; but yeah Pokemon's plot is FUCKED up.