Created By: Bladed Smoke on May 17, 2008

Bizarre Threat

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> "One day when you least expect it, you’re going to wake up as glue. And not the good stuff, either, but the cheap white paste that the weird kids eat." > Belkar Bitterleaf, Order of the Stick

Do We Have This One??

Basically, this trope is when a threat - usually a death threat - is played for laughs by being a bit, well, odd. This can include if a threat is unnecessarily long and convoluted, and the one making it gets a bit lost, or if it simply incorporates some really bizarre elements, or if it's a pathetically unthreatening sort of threat ("Do X, or I'm going to give you some really evil looks when your back is turned!").

This trope is usually seen in comedy, for obvious reasons. No relation to the Rule of Escalating Threat.


  • The quote from atop the page comes from Belkar Bitterleaf, of The Order of the Stick, and is a textbook example.
  • Jayne, from Firefly, makes one of these when he talks about the "chain of command" being the one he beats you with if you argue with him.
" In Baldur's Gate, you can make Bizarre Threats quite often, but the most notable example is when you are confronted by an old guy offering cryptic advice, and can give the following response: > "If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!"
Community Feedback Replies: 20
  • May 17, 2008
    "Order of the Stick! Your broken corpses will taste delicious lightly seasoned with nutmeg!"

    Also, Sarah in the lonelygirl15 episode "CAMP PLAY": "Get any closer and I will breathe on you!"
  • May 17, 2008
    From Hitchhiker's Guide: "Come now or you will be late!" "Late? What for?" "Late, as in the late Dentarthurdent. It's a sort of threat, you see. I've never been very good at them myself..."
  • May 17, 2008
    In Samurai Jack, Jack's first opponent in the Dome of Doom, Gordo the Gruesome, is a master of smack talk, and most of his threats follow this pattern. Behold:

    "I will hang you out like laundry! I will beat you like a drum! I will make your mother cry! I will make your aunt Edna from Gorfield, south of Barnaby, cry!"
  • May 18, 2008
    Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

    "I'll cut his heart out with a spoon!"
  • May 18, 2008
    Murray from Curse of Monkey Island"

    "Mortal fool! Release me from this wretched tomb! I must be set free, or I will haunt you forever! I will hide your keys beneath the cushions of your upholstered furniture, and nevermore will you be able to find socks that match!"
  • May 18, 2008
    Hmm, I had one, but then I realized it didn't quite count.

    Anyway, generally related to Cool And Unusual Punishment
  • May 18, 2008
    I think Buffy threatened to wear someone's ribcage as a hat once.
  • May 18, 2008
    In Black Adder there was a bizarre one that was conducted in mime, that involved being dunked upside down in a vat of warm marmalade and having your goolies cut off with a scythe.
  • May 18, 2008
    "I! Garland! Will KNOCK YOU ALL DOWN!"
  • May 18, 2008
    Blackadder is FULL of these!

    Also, there was an episode of Never Mind The Buzzcocks in which Noel Fielding threatened to "cut the stuffing out of your pillow with a motorcycle made of glitter!" There's a whole chain of them, actually, between him and Simon Amstell, but I don't remember the rest
  • May 18, 2008
    Team America: World Police: "If you don't [comply], we [The UN] will be very angry. And we will write a letter, telling you how angry we are."
  • May 18, 2008
    in Blackadder the Third, Mr. E. Blackadder issued this threeat to Baldrick: "Baldrick, eternity with Beelzebub and all his ghastly horde will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil."
  • May 18, 2008
    In The Chronicles Of Riddick "I'm going to kill you with my teacup." He does, too.
  • May 18, 2008
  • May 18, 2008
    When Susan Sto Helit of Discworld had a stint as a nanny in Hogfather she threatened her charges with things like "Do as I say or shall knot your arms together behind your head". And she found that these actually worked better than believable threats.
  • May 18, 2008
    Using a horse as material for glue isn't very outlandish, or at least is pretty well entrenched in stereotype. Check out .
  • May 19, 2008
    Bladed Smoke
    @Mith: Yeah, but I think the 'cheap white paste which the wierd kids eat' bit qualifies it for this.

    Also, d'ya think that Cut Your Heart Out With A Spoon would make a good title for this, or is Bizarre Threat good enough already?
  • May 19, 2008
    Simpsons example: Some of Moe's reactions to Bart's prank calls qualify for this, e.g. "Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"
  • May 19, 2008
    Vampire Buddha
    Another Simpsons example: "If I find out who this is, I'll nail a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!"
  • May 19, 2008
    Full Metal Alchemist: Ed says some random things whenever someone hits his Berserk Button. "I'll break off your legs and stick them on your head!"