1 | !!!Fiction |
2 | ->''Oh, and ''Series/FearFactor'', I watched maybe a half hour\ |
3 | After that, felt like I needed a long shower\ |
4 | Network execs with naked ambitions\ |
5 | 'Next week on {{Creator/FOX}}, watch ''Lions Eat Christians''![='=]'' |
6 | -->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "Couch Potato" |
7 | |
8 | ->Time now for ''Life on Tatooine'', brought to viewers everywhere in the hope that our own lives may be uplifted by the comparison and enriched with the gratitude of relief. |
9 | -->-- '''TV announcer''', ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial'' |
10 | |
11 | ->They're like onlookers at a car crash. As long it's not happening to them, they're dying to get a closer look. |
12 | -->-- '''[[{{VideoGame/Persona4}} Yosuke Hanamura]]''' on everyone's interest in the string of murders. |
13 | |
14 | ->Look around. We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don't have to ''achieve'' anything; you just gotta have fucked up-shit happen to you. |
15 | --> -- [[spoiler:Jill Roberts]], ''{{Film/Scream 4}}'' |
16 | |
17 | ->Why is everybody we know depressing? |
18 | -->-- '''Stewie Griffin''', WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', "Grumpy Old Man" |
19 | |
20 | !!!RealLife |
21 | ->It is not enough for me to succeed. Others must fail. |
22 | -->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''' |
23 | |
24 | ->One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us. |
25 | -->--'''Creator/KurtVonnegut''' |
26 | |
27 | ->In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in 'blood and guts', and in living color, you are going to see another first — attempted suicide. |
28 | -->--WXLT anchorwoman '''Christine Chubbuck''', before fatally shooting herself (1974) |
29 | |
30 | ->...thousands of people are waiting [[NightmareFetishist to see if we could successfully land]]. And although we go there for the science questions, I don't think they were there at 1:30 in the morning because they're dying to know about the pH and salinity of the ancient aqueous environmental stability of Mars. |
31 | -->--'''Adam Steltzner''', Mars Science Laboratory lead engineer for Entry, Decent and Landing on why the Curiosity Rover Landing was so popular. |
32 | |
33 | ->Wrestling/NewJack and Vic Grimes fell ''20 feet!'' They aren't stuntmen. They're on concrete, it should've killed them! And what would've happened if they would've died? They'd have [[WeHaveReserves moved 'em over and kept goin']]. Y'know, to me, two guys almost die, that's a big deal. And it's not a big deal to the fan, because they're so [[ViewersAreGoldfish MTV-minded]], they're gonna say "What's next?". Unless you ''[[{{Overcrank}} slow things down]]'' to [[RepeatCut show them the]] [[PlayedForDrama gravity]] [[RepeatCut of what they just saw]]. |
34 | -->--'''Terry Taylor''', former Talent Relations for {{Wrestling/ECW}}, on the Danbury fall (''Forever Hardcore: The Documentary'') |
35 | |
36 | ->"Every now and then I'll be right in the middle of it and just go 'What the fuck am I doing? There's a girl with a mouthful of animal dicks, and I'm telling her 'you can get more in there', and she's listening to me.' That's my job? Oh, my guidance counselor owes me a fucking apology. That dude lacked vision." |
37 | -->--'''Joe Rogan''' on ''Fear Factor'' |
38 | |
39 | ->As expected, Series/DrPhil’s “intervention” with Bobbi Kristina Brown’s boyfriend Nick Gordon was an erratic, [[AttentionWhore fame whore train wreck]] that ended with the lukewarm butt plug of smug Dr. Phil patting himself on the back. If Everlast sold punching bags [[DartboardOfHate with Dr. Phil’s face on it]], they would become the richest company in the world and we’d all have arms as thick as Creator/JonHamm’s dick. |
40 | -->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/03/11/dr-phils-interview-with-nick-gordon-was-a-disaster/ Michael K.]]''' |
41 | |
42 | ->''Million Dollar Drop'' was a short-lived game show where couples had $1,000,000 they wagered on trivia knowledge. They placed stacks of bills on trapdoors that of course clanked open when they got a question wrong. It was crushing for people to watch their actual dreams fall away, but the demilich beneath {{Creator/FOX}} studios demanded a sacrifice of cash tainted with despair. |
43 | -->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-5-biggest-cheaters-in-game-show-history/#ixzz2eGWH8FH0 The 5 Biggest Cheaters in Game Show History]]" |
44 | |
45 | ->Everybody knows that the only watchable episode of ''Series/AmericanIdol'' is the first one of the season. Therein all the self-delusional idiots fly off the handle when the judges tell them what their hearts already whisper: ''You are terribly ordinary.'' |
46 | -->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-star-performers-who-never-let-lack-talent-stop-them/ "5 Star Performers Who Never Let a Lack of Talent Stop Them"]] |
47 | |
48 | ->'''Danny:''' [[TranquilFury Okay, you know what, Arin?]] [[RageQuit I think we're going to call this an episode.]]\ |
49 | '''Arin:''' No! Oh my God, this is so funny! |
50 | -->-- ''GameGrumps'', "The Wacky World of Miniature Golf: [[SarcasmMode Dan's Favorite Game]] - PART 1" |
51 | |
52 | ->''"The major tenants [of ''WesternAnimation/InvaderZim''] are sarcasm, cruelty and violence. Affection and warm, fuzzy things... anything that would inspire 'Awwww'? It's not in the show!"'' |
53 | -->-- '''Creator/JhonenVasquez''' |
54 | |
55 | ->''"If I could boil ''[[WesternAnimation/RenAndStimpyAdultPartyCartoon Ren Seeks Help]]'' down to one word, it would be: 'cruel'."'' |
56 | -->-- '''WebVideo/TheMysteriousMrEnter''' in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvPH_GXNMpE his commentary on his review]] of the ''WesternAnimation/DrawnTogether'' movie. |
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