Line #43 Quotes/AssPull


1	[[AC:Film--Animation]]
2
3	->'''Kuzco:''' No! It can't be! [[OffscreenTeleportation How did you get back here before us?!]]\
4	'''Yzma:''' Ah-- ''(pauses)'' Uh... How ''did'' we, Kronk?\
5	'''Kronk:''' Well, ya got me. ''[[[MediumAwareness shows]] [[TravelMontage a chart]] [[MediumAwareness demonstrating the improbability of the situation]]]'' [[LampshadeHanging By all accounts it doesn't make sense.]]
6	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove''
7
8	[[AC:Film -- Live-Action]]
9
10	->''"Here the story should really end, for, in real life, the forlorn old man would have little to look forward to but death. The author took pity on him and has provided a quite improbable epilogue."''
11	-->-- Only text displayed in the silent film ''Film/TheLastLaugh'' (''Der letzte Mann'').
12
13	->'''Han Solo:''' What was your job when you were based here?\
14	'''Finn:''' Sanitation.\
15	'''Han:''' Sanitation? Then how do you know how to disable the shields?\
16	'''Finn:''' I don't. I'm just here to get Rey.\
17	'''Han:''' People are counting on us! The galaxy is counting on us!\
18	'''Finn:''' Solo, we'll figure it out. We'll use the Force!\
19	'''Han:''' ''THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS''!
20	-->-- ''[[Film/TheForceAwakens Star Wars: The Force Awakens]]''
21
22	->'''Poe:''' ''(sighs)'' Somehow, Palpatine returned.\
23	'''Rose:''' Wait, do we believe this?
24	--> -- ''[[Film/TheRiseOfSkywalker Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker]]''
25
26	[[AC:Literature]]
27	->''But when it comes to [the protagonist's] domestic happiness, the author grows impatient. He has already prepared estrangement between husband and wife through the doctor’s behaviour; but for no very adequate reason, he suddenly abandons this line of development, and by an arbitrary act, hastily gets rid of the wife by pushing her under a bus. One cannot defend this intervention by saying that virtuous people in real life are frequently killed by road-vehicles. The episode is wholly extraneous to the structural unity of the story; it is an irrelevant miracle.''
28	-->-- Creator/DorothyLSayers, ''The Mind of the Maker'' (discussing ''Literature/TheCitadel'' by Cronin)
29
30	[[AC:Live-Action TV]]
31
32	->'''George:''' What about my ankle monitor?\
33	'''Fake Kidnapper:''' We have an ''ankle monitor deactivator!''\
34	'''George:''' Oh, good. See, I've been meaning to get one of those.
35	-->-- ''Series/ArrestedDevelopment''
36
37	[[AC:Video Games]]
38
39	->'''Zero:''' [[UnexplainedRecovery I hid myself while I tried to repair myself.]]\
40	'''[[LetsPlay/ClementJ642 ClamentJ64]]:''' What?! What does that even mean?! "I hid myself while I tried to repair myself." [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe He was a fucking torso!]] [[AnArmAndALeg Who had a Mega Buster for an arm!]] I... what?! In ''VideoGame/MegaManX1'', he was a torso then but he didn't repair himself! This is retarded! There is nothing more retarded than this. And at the end of ''[[VideoGame/MegaManX5 X5]]'', he said that in order for there to be peace, he should probably die for a while! Maybe if I was gone there would be peace! So why would he rebuild himself?! He had the whole intention of dying! Good job ''[[VideoGame/MegaManX6 X6]]''! Good job {{retcon}}ning that!
41	-->-- ''[[LetsPlay/ClementJ642 ClamentJ64]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1nEBLAGJW0&t=7m21s Let's Play Mega Man X6]]''
42
43	->'''Marina:''' So I guess in the new version of the fable, the hare ends up winning...
44	->'''Pearl:''' Yup. It's time for a gritty reboot of the Tortoise and the Hare. THIS SUMMER...
45	->'''Marina:''' Dear cod...
46	->'''Pearl:''' The hare had just won the race. She was taking a victory lap, when suddenly...
47	->'''Marina:''' Suddenly what?!
48	->'''Pearl:''' Mysterious creatures emerge from the sea to threaten their peaceful village! So the tortoise and the hare join forces to rescue their kidnapped friends!
49	->'''Marina:''' WHAT?! That's not a plot twist... it's a plot backside rodeo 1080!
50	-->-- ''VideoGame/Splatoon2''
51
52	->''"Suddenly... warping through space and time... [[spoiler:King Bowser]] appears!"''
53	-->--''VideoGame/YoshisNewIsland''
54
55	[[AC:Visual Novels]]
56	->'''''Super development'''''
57	->''In a game, anime, novel, or etc, refers to something that happens which completely ignores the plot and {{foreshadowing}} that occurred up until then. The super development instead takes the story in a completely new direction. Similar to the phrase "{{deus ex machina}}." These completely unexpected plot developments leave viewers bewildered and struggling to keep up.''
58	-->--Tip No. 172 in ''VisualNovel/SteinsGate0''
59
60	->"Now that I think about it, I had a twin older sister...!"\
61	"You had an older sister... that's a bit of a sudden statement."\
62	''Even though this is a parody, this is too much. It's no fun if you don't lay down any groundwork or foreshadowing.''
63	-->-- '''Kagetsu Tohya''', ''VisualNovel/{{Tsukihime}}'' ("Imogirisou")
64
65	[[AC:Web Original]]
66	->''"Support character was evil all along' does NOT constitute 'character development.' What that is is 'arse pull.' And there are a lot of unsavory things that traditionally get pulled out of arses."''
67	-->--'''Creator/BenCroshaw''', ''[[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Extra Punctuation]]'', [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/6400-Silent-Hill-2.2 "Thou Shalt Set Up Plot Twists Appropriately"]]
68
69	->''"Think of it this way: if Russo was managing the local Pizza Hut, you'd order a pizza and they'd deliver a newspaper. Sure, it was a surprise, but it didn't make much sense, nor did you want to order from them again. But it sure fooled you, didn't it?"''
70	-->-- '''RD Reynolds''' on Wrestling/VinceRusso's writing style, from the book ''Website/{{WrestleCrap}}''
71
72	->''I'm not buying it. So Erza can [[{{Hammerspace}} requip]] between several mundane weapons. Fair enough. She has the unique ability to requip her armour. Fine. She can also use this ability to change between several outfits. Cool. But being able to asspull a magical armour to fit any situation? Something doesn't add up here. We've established on the introduction of Requip magic that it's just that - re-equipping yourself from hammerspace. She has to have physically obtained everything in it. So where the fuck did all the armour-for-any-occasion come from?! It's not any common armour, we know that for sure. Magic had to have been involved in its creation, and at least one specific armour is noted as unique, the Purgatory Armour ("Nobody who has seen this armour has lived to tell the tale!"). What Erza's doing is almost like running around with ten Excaliburs in your pocket.''
73	-->-- '''[[https://fairytailfanon.fandom.com/wiki/User_blog:Perchan/Fairy_Tail_321-_In_Which_Goddammit_Erza_(Laxus_vs._Jura) Perchan]]''' on [[Manga/FairyTail Erza Scarlet]]
74
75	->''Too many authors these days think an ending has to subvert audience expectations, when in fact an ending in line with how the story is told is usually the better choice.''\
76	''Audience subversion is earned not imposed.''
77	-->--'''[[https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDevilIsAPartTimer/comments/mv0n8n/yah_i_know_im_8_months_late_to_the_punch_but_the/ zikakuto]]''' on the ending to the light novel continuity of ''Literature/TheDevilIsAPartTimer''
78
79	->There are ''way'' too many unanswered questions here for this turn of events to work as a surprise ending, but that's exactly how Whannell and Bousman spring it on us. If your "shocking twist" is shocking primarily because it doesn't make any fucking sense, then you’re doing it wrong.
80	-->-- '''Scott "El Santo" Ashlin''', ''[[http://1000misspenthours.com/reviews/reviewsn-z/sawii.htm 1000 Misspent Hours]]'', on the ending of ''Film/SawII''.
81
82	[[AC:Web Video]]
83
84	->''"So, lemme see if I understand this: Prometheus said he didn't know who the Shade was, but apparently the device he had planted was specifically designed to counteract his powers. [[DeusExMachina What a convenient device!]] Oh, and the super-duper-maxi-extreme-ultra devices [[NewPowersAsThePlotDemands can counteract the magic of the REAL Captain Marvel too]]. Look, there's smart villains, clever planning, and then there's just pulling crap outta your ass!"''
85	-->-- '''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]''', talking about ''ComicBook/JusticeLeagueCryForJustice''
86
87	->'''Piccolo:''' Goku, can we beat this guy?\
88	'''Goku:''' I dunno! [[LampshadeHanging I'm sure I'll pull something out my butt.]]\
89	'''Broly:''' AND IT WILL BE [[AssShove BROLY'S FIST]]!
90	-->--''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged [[Recap/DragonBallZAbridgedM11 Movie]]: Anime/DragonBallZBrolyTheLegendarySuperSaiyan''
91
92	->''"Listen, it would be fine if the characters were like this originally, but it seems like you're changing them after the fact so you can seem more inclusive and get good press."''
93	-->-- '''Eddy Burback''' to Creator/JKRowling in "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKxpwlKRQ2U jk rowling these days]]" by WebVideo/GusJohnson
94
95	->''"Riku drones on for a while about how Kairi is the last princess Ansem needs for his evil scheme, and also remember when Destiny Islands blew up and Kairi went 'jsshzshz' through Sora, yeah, her heart has been inside of Sora this whole time. Sora goes 'Ewww omg' and [[HeroicSacrifice commits]] [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign sudoku]] with his Keyblade.\
96	This frees Kairi's heart and revives her. ''(YAY!)'' This also frees Sora's heart, so he's a Heartless now. ''(BOO.)'' But Kairi's like 'Bibbidi bobbidi DeusExMachina, [[GoshDangItToHeck binch]]' and Sora turns back to normal, which contradicts ''everything we understand about how any of this works'' but SURE. ''FINE.''\
97	Ansem sees all this and is like '[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously, like I checked the Wiki and they use the word "somehow"]], uh, whatever. I'm outtie, peace.'"''
98	-->-- '''Barry Kramer''', "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjiHufVEc7g A Good Enough Summary of]] ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsI''"
99
100	->''"This isn't exactly ''Film/TheSixthSense''. It's not even ''A Little Sense''. But hey! At least ''you didn't see it coming!'' That is technically true, in much the same way if I tried to guess what number you thinking of, and the answer turned out to be 'penis.'"''
101	-->-- ''Website/SFDebris'' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS2E22Innocence Innocence]]"
102
103	->''"Did I foreshadow this plot twist? Hah, no! That would ruin the surprise! Why would a writer want to build up their narrative with subtle clues and foreshadowing that rewards the reader for paying attention to the story's fine details, when we can instead smack the audience in the face with it from nowhere? The best plot twist is a plot twist introduced for the sake of having a plot twist!"''
104	-->-- ''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice'', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTZEFGvMH0k "Plotting a Story"]]
105
106	->'''Ventus:''' Use the Power of Waking.\
107	'''Sora:''' But I don't have it.\
108	'''Ventus:''' Yes you do, you only have to wish for it.\
109	'''Sora:''' So spending approximately 18 hours doing absolutely nothing in Disney worlds was a waste of time?\
110	'''Ventus:''' Yep.\
111	'''Sora:''' That is not very epic.
112	-->-- ''[[WebVideo/KingdomHeartsInANutshell Kingdom Hearts 3 in a nutshell]]''
113
114	->'''Raiden:''' That's a nice argument, Senator. Why don't you back it up with a ''source?!''\
115	'''Armstrong:''' My source is that I '''made it the fuck up!'''
116	-->-- ''WebVideo/{{Max0r}},'' "An Incorrect Summary of [[VideoGame/MetalGearRisingRevengeance Metal Gear Rising]] \| Part 2 \| Sons of Obesity"
117
118	->'''Sam''': What the hell is going on here?!
119	->'''Rekha''': ''(opens her coat to reveal the stolen money)'' Oh, you want the real story? 'Cause I was in on it the whole time, Sam. I'm the new cast member!
120	->'''Sam''': Wait, ''how'' does that make any sense at ''all''? Rekha, if you were in on it from the beginning then why would you guys need to ''do'' any of [[TheCaper this?]] Weren't you just grilling them on exactly what happened? Is this all an elaborate excuse to live out an ''Film/OceansEleven'' fantasy?
121	-->-- ''Website/{{Collegehumor}}'', "Too Many Twists"
122
123	->''"Remember that nanny-bot who adopts the human child? Towards the end, it turns out [[spoiler:the child was ALSO an android all along]]! Ooh, what a twist! An inadequately explored twist that adds nothing to the story and may even be detrimental to it! I mean, [[spoiler:'can a robot mother truly love a human child']] was a question with some power to it in this context. But [[spoiler:can a robot love another robot]]? YES! They can! We know they can! We've seen like twelve of the buggers doing it already! It's just a twist for the sake of having a twist. In other words, it's a David Cage twist."''
124	-->-- ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'' on ''VideoGame/DetroitBecomeHuman''
125
126	->''"Now, kudos to the show. The brush reveal is a striking twist. [...] But once you do one thing, just one thing, this twist, and to some extent, the whole show, fall apart. And that thing is: watch the show leading up to the twist."''
127	-->-- '''WebVideo/MicTheSnare''', on the ending to ''Series/TheIdol''
128
129	[[AC:Western Animation]]
130	->'''Stewie:''' No, no, no, this won't do. You can't just have Snuggly Jeff magically brought back to life by a child's wish, it's insulting to the reader!\
131	'''Brian:''' What do you mean?\
132	'''Stewie:''' Well it's just bad storytelling! Did you ever see the movie ''Film/{{Contact}}''? So like, they spent a trillion dollars building this mile-high space machine and Creator/JakeBusey blows it up. So now they're all like "Oh no, we can't use the space machine!", but then this other guy is like "Hey, it just so happens, I built another identical trillion dollar space machine at my own expense on the other side of the world." And we're supposed to believe no one noticed that? Well, I stood up in the theater and said No! You can't go into space because the machine already got blown up by ''Jake-Cockadoody-Busey''!
133	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E15ThreeKings Three Kings]]"

Context Quotes / AssPull