Line #22 Funny/Iznogoud


1	* At the beginning of ''Iznogoud's Birthday'', Iznogoud is looking for a mysterious individual who just screamed about his ambition to be the Caliph. Cue this dialogue with a random guard:
2	-->'''Iznogoud''': Was that you who were screaming?
3	-->'''Guard''': [[BlatantLies I can't, Great Vizir; I am deaf and mute.]]
4	-->'''Iznogoud''': But... you just answered me!
5	-->'''Guard''' (surprised): Did I? But.... then... ({{Beat}}) I AM CURED! YIPEEEEEEEEEE!
6	-->'''Iznogoud''': Oh, [[PrecisionFStrike damn it]], not with the crazies again!
7	* This exchange from ''Iznogoud Finally Caliph'':
8	-->'''Archivist''': Hello, Grand Vizier; my name is Vhist, and I am...
9	-->'''Iznogoud''': [[LampshadeHanging I bet your first name is Archie]]!
10	-->'''Archivist''': ... Indeed. How did you guess?
11	-->'''Iznogoud''': I'm used to lame puns.
12	-->'''Archivist''': Vhist Archie? Nah, I don't see... well anyway, I am the Archiv... ''({{beat}}. [[LateToThePunchline The Archivist suddenly bursts in laughter]])'' Ah ah ah! [[StevenUlyssesPerhero Archie Vhist!]] Hilarious! I have been Archivist for seventy years, and I never noticed!
13	* From ''Who Killed the Caliph'':
14	-->'''Iznogoud''': And do you remember what your master wants to be?
15	-->'''Dilat''': Caliph instead of the Caliph, yes I know...
16	-->'''Iznogoud''': Good! Now get out of my sight! ''({{Beat}})'' Wait! Just to make up for it, do you happen to have an idea?
17	-->'''Dilat''': About what, boss?
18	-->'''Iznogoud''': ''([[BreakingTheFourthWall to the reader]])'': Tell me he is kidding. ''(to Dilat)'' AN IDEA TO WIN THE LOTTERY, YOU DUMBASS!
19	-->'''Dilat''': [[SarcasmBlind Oh, then I do have an idea, boss!]] All we have to do is not play!
20	-->'''Iznogoud''': AN IDEA TO BE CALIPH INSTEAD OF THE CALIPH!
21	-->'''Dilat''': Well... we already know what we must not do: all we have to do is read all your previous books.
22	** Later:
23	-->'''Iznogoud''': Dilat! Sooner, you said we could have an opportunity today with the day of great conquest. What were you thinking about?
24	-->'''Dilat''': Nothing, boss.
25	-->'''Iznogoud''': Nothing?!
26	-->'''Dilat''': I do not know what an opportunity is, I said that randomly.
27	-->'''Iznogoud''': ... It means a possibility.
28	-->'''Dilat''': Still nothing, boss.
29	-->'''Iznogoud''': An eventuality.
30	-->'''Dilat''': Nope, boss.
31	-->'''Iznogoud''': IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A COMPLETELY DUMBASS RIGHT HAND-MAN, YOU SHOULD IMMEDIATLY REPLACE HIM WITH... ''({{Beat}})'' ''replace''! Of course! Dilat, remind me to reward you for your brillant idea!
32	-->'''Dilat''': But... I didn't have any idea, boss!
33	-->'''Iznogoud''': Mhm... True. Then REMIND ME TO PUNISH YOU FOR NOT HAVING ANY IDEA! And DON'T forget to remind me!
34	* In "Iznogoud Rockets to Stardom", the Caliph is excited at the idea of going to the sky but refuses to go to the marketplace because he's "not going that far".
35	-->'''Iznogoud: YOU DON'T MIND GOING TO THE MOON, BUT YOU WON'T WALK AS FAR AS BAGHDAD MARKETPLACE??'''
36	-->'''Caliph''': That's right. I wouldn't be walking to the moon.

Context Funny / Iznogoud