Line #5 Funny/DriveAngry


1	* You know what? The Accountant. Just the Accountant.
2	** The Accountant's very first line in the film.
3	--->'''The Accountant:''' You, fat fuck!
4	** When the first stoner reacts to him bursting from his overturned car.
5	--->'''Stoner #1:''' Jesus!
6	--->'''The Accountant:''' [[LiteralMinded Carpenter. And, despite what you've heard, prefers short hair.]]
7	** And then when he is addressing the two stoners.
8	--->'''Stoner #2:''' You almost fuckin' killed me, man!
9	--->'''The Accountant:''' Not even close. I won't see you again until you're seventy-three. (''looks over at the other guy'') You I'll see in three months. (''walks away'')
10	--->'''Stoner #1:''' What does that mean?!
11	** This exchange between the Accountant and one of the cultists after the former notices the latter's pentagram tattoo:
12	---> '''Accountant''': What's that?
13	---> '''Cultist''': A symbol of our pact with Lord {{Satan}}.
14	---> '''Accountant''': A pact, huh? Funny; he's never mentioned you. (''looks at the Cultist's shattered legs'') Whoa, those are fucked!
15	** After the Accountant interrupts the police trying to apprehend Milton and Piper (thereby allowing them to escape), he whips out his coin, tosses it into the air, and it becomes a FBI badge which he shows to the police captain, and we get this exchange:
16	--->'''Captain''': No goddamn way! Ain't no goddamn way in God's good Heaven are you a FBI agent!
17	--->'''Accountant''': Gentlemen, I need you boys to stand down. Captain, you know what this badge means, right? Federal Bureau of Get-the-Fuck-Out-of-My-Way! You boys just bungled into an ongoing investigation.
18	*** The Accountant then exposes one of the cops as a cultist working for King and tells him to call him. When the cop/cultist does, the Accountant leans in close to hear.
19	** "'Forever?' If your definition of 'forever' is the next five seconds, then you'd probably be right."
20	** The Accountant's reaction when Piper gets free from his grasp, grabs the Godkiller, and trains it on him.
21	--->'''Accountant''': Well!
22	** [[SoundtrackDissonance "That's the way / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH / I LIKE it / Uh-HUH-Uh-HUH..."]] Bopping along to disco while driving a massive truck through a roadblock and causing a massive fireball in your wake? Only this guy.
23	* It may have [[CrossesTheLineTwice crossed the line twice]], but Milton firing at and killing several [[{{Mooks}} assailants]] while doing [[CoitusUninterruptus his special oil check]] on the waitress Candy AND drinking scotch was nothing short of side-splitting.
24	** The drinking whiskey also being in slow motion lets you know that they knew exactly what kind of movie this was.
25	** Even before the shootout, they're going at it in the room right next to Piper's, and the walls [[TheImmodestOrgasm do absolutely nothing to dampen the sound]], much to Piper's chagrin.
26	** At one point in the shootout, a mook uses a [[ShockAndAwe cattle prod]] on Milton, and the shock channels through his body into Candy's, resulting in probably the single greatest orgasm she'll ever experience for the rest of her life.
27	** This is also hilarious later on when the shell-shocked waitress is trying to explain what happened to the cops.
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Context Funny / DriveAngry