Line #86 Funny/Changes


1	Par for the series in general, there were quite a few ridiculously funny moments in this installment of ''The Dresden Files.'' WARNING: Unmarked spoilers below!
2	----
3	* A small one at the beginning: After going to Mac's after Susan tells Harry that their daughter's been kidnapped, Harry tells [[SilentBob Mac]], [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness who proceeds to caution Harry that he's "got to be very careful."]] Harry's reaction?
4	--> I looked at him, shocked. [[MundaneMadeAwesome He'd... used grammar]].
5	* A vampire leaps at Harry, but he anticipates the attack and has his shield readied. While raising his shield, he gives said vampire [[FlippingTheBird a very rude gesture]] with his shield hand as it smacks off the magical wall, which pretty perfectly sums up Harry Dresden right then and there.
6	* Harry finding out that the Red Court owns the office building which he works at. Which means he has been paying them rent. Oh, and [[EvilIsPetty they'd been slowly hiking up his rent over the last few years just because they could]].
7	** He then finds out that they rigged his office room with explosives:
8	--->"Those jerks," I said. "They told us they were cleaning out asbestos!"
9	** After the inevitable explosion, Harry is mad because he'd ''just'' [[ActionInsuranceGag mailed his rent check in earlier that day]].
10	* He also makes a ShoutOut that pretty much describes the whole series. He thinks to himself of the famous Gandalf line: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
11	-->'''Harry:''' Fuck subtle.
12	* Harry sums up the ways women analyse each other with a single glance, looking at their fashion, appearance, bearing, and many other things to determine if they are a threat. He then outlines the male equivalent, which is limited to the questions “Does he have beer? If so, will he share with me?”
13	* Harry makes one Yoda ShoutOut too many:
14	-->[Molly] frowned at me in annoyance and said, "You know, I believe it ''is'' possible to reference something other than ''Franchise/StarWars'', boss."\
15	I narrowed my eyes in Muppetly wisdom. "That is why you fail."
16	** [[invoked]] This whole conversation gets [[HilariousInHindsight even funnier]] once ''Ghost Story'' reveals that [[spoiler:Molly's actually [[Franchise/StarTrek a Trekkie]], explaining some of her irritation with Harry here]].
17	* Harry crossing over from his own home into the Nevernever, completely prepared to face all sorts of horrible monsters, or conditions because he's sure his home only reflects bad things... [[AntiClimax and finding a very pretty garden]].
18	** And shortly afterward, Harry quickly realizes that he ''was'' right to be so suspicious upon discovering the monster dwelling there - A '''massive''' carnivorous centipede that charges for him with intent to kill:
19	** Harry's initial attempt to kill the centipede - Namely, ''[[NoKillLikeOverkill bisect the damn thing with a massive laser of concentrated fire magic]]''. Harry promptly celebrates [[SarcasmMode in the most subdued way possible]]:
20	--->'''Harry:''' Booya! What have you got for fiery beam of death, huh? You got ''nothing'' for fiery beam of death! [[TemptingFate Might as well go back to Atari, bug-boy, 'cause you don't got game enough for me]]!
21	** And it gets even better a paragraph later when it turns out that the fiery beam of death ''didn't'' kill the bug, [[FromBadToWorse but instead split it into]] ''two'' bugs. [[ShoutOut Just like in]] ''VideoGame/{{Centipede}}''!
22	--->'''Bob:''' ''[in a perfectly calm, matter-of-fact, conversational tone]'' Wow, that is ''incredibly'' unfair.
23	** And at a later point, Lea reveals that ''she'' was the one who created the centipede monster, with it serving as a guardian spirit protecting the Nevernever side of Harry's apartment from any supernatural assassins. She then complains that she now has to feed two "gaping maws" instead of one.
24	*** And on the Fridge Humor end of things, from this whole scene there's the implication that Lea apparently ''played Centipede and used it for inspiration''.
25	* When Lea first shows up in Harry's apartment, she makes her appearance by [[ChairReveal dramatically swivelling around in his armchair]]...''[[BeyondTheImpossible despite the fact that the armchair can't swivel]]''. And Harry's [[SkewedPriorities more focused on the swiveling than on the super-powerful and cheerfully homicidal faerie sorceress in his living room]].
26	** Lea's even [[RightHandCat petting Mister]] while she does it. Considering she's known to act as a muse for artists, one has to wonder if she's where that particular trope got started.
27	* Most of Harry's interactions with Martin, if only because of Harry's intensely irrational and childish dislike for the man. Particularly when he and Susan get released from Lea's cocooning spell.
28	-->She snapped her fingers and the cocoons seemed to sublimate into a fine green mist that quickly dispersed. Susan fell limply from the wall, but I was waiting to catch her and lower her gently to the floor.\
29	Martin plummeted from the ceiling and landed on a threadbare throw rug covering the concrete floor. Nobody was there to catch him, which was awful. Just ''awful.''
30	* Harry listening to a recording of his mother talking about various routes through the Ways, which mentions that while moving through the darkness on one route, something tried to grab her.
31	-->'''Harry:''' Maybe it was a [[VideoGame/{{Zork}} grue.]]
32	* And once again, Harry watches too many movies - and [[NotSoAboveItAll Susan]] backs him up. Much to [[OnlySaneMan Martin's]] exasperation.
33	-->'''Harry:''' [[Film/ThePrincessBride If only we had a wheelbarrow.]]\
34	'''Susan:''' We have a great big truck!\
35	'''Harry:''' ''(bad British accent)'' Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?
36	* This line from a letter to Harry from an incredibly British wizard:
37	-->'''Chandler:''' PS-- Why, yes, I can in fact capitalize any words I desire. The language is English. I am English. Therefore mine is the opinion which matters, colonial heathen.
38	* Harry sets up a meeting with Marcone. Where does he agree to have the meeting? A dark alley, or in the middle of one of Marcone's "business establishments?" Nope - Burger King. And when Harry arrives, the first thing he does is walk right by Marcone and his entire collection of goons, orders a sausage biscuit and coffee, and ''then'' goes to see Marcone.
39	** Especially since one of his rationalizations to Molly for holding the meeting is "[[{{Troll}} I just want to see him there]]."
40	** Parts of the conversation itself also qualify, the most notable of which is when Harry tells Marcone that as soon as he cleans up the bigger, badder fish ahead of Marcone, he'll be free to go after the crime lord himself. Marcone's reaction?
41	--->'''Marcone:''' ([[DeadpanSnarker completely deadpan]]) ''Eek.''
42	* At Monoc Securities, Harry can't avoid the urge of joking at the receptionists. When Gard warns him not to do it, he replies that he thinks the receptionists would feel hurt if he ''didn't'' lip off them, after he has done so to every bad guy he has met.
43	** The narration notes that he isn't even ''trying'' to be sarcastic here: He literally just can’t help himself.
44	* At the end of Harry's conversation with Odin.
45	-->'''Donnar Vadderung:''' How do you know I haven't given you exactly what you need?
46	** Then Harry is given a tray with tea and [[RememberWhenYouBlewUpASun two cake doughnuts covered in thick white frosting]] [[{{Foreshadowing}} and unmarred by sprinkles of any kind]].
47	* Harry's discovery after returning home from the above-mentioned conversation with Odin:
48	-->Martin was alphabetizing my bookshelves.\
49	[[DisproportionateRetribution They used to kill]] men for [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking sacrilege like that]].
50	* Harry's response to Molly's theory about the kidnapping being a cover for something else.
51	-->'''Harry:''' But for that to be true, I would have to not be the center of the universe.
52	* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext But evidently, those vampires had been noobs]]."
53	* Bit of a small one, but while Harry is talking to the Eebs about Arianna's grudge against Harry, they refer to the wizard who killed Ortega (Ebenezar) as "the wizard of the black stick".
54	* The scene where [[HuskyRusskie Sanya]] intimidates Stevie D. Though just a bit amusing in the book itself, Creator/JamesMarsters' reading of it on the audiobook, and [[LargeHam the ludicrously thick accent he gives Sanya]], is absolutely hilarious.
55	-->'''Sanya''' '''[[FunetikAksent HI PICK UP DIS BURD. HI BREK HIT HIN HAF. DEN HI TROW BOOT HAFS IN INCINERATOR!]]'''
56	** It's still hilarious in its own right in just the printed text itself, since Sanya is grinning from ear to ear while threatening the poor guy.
57	** What really sells the whole moment, though, is Harry's narration regarding Stevie D's [[OhCrap reaction to]] Sanya's threat.
58	--->Stevie D looked like a man [[ThisIsGonnaSuck who suddenly realizes he is sitting near a hornets' nest]] and is [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere trying desperately not to run away screaming]].
59	** Not just Sanya's threat, either; Harry also tells Stevie that his other options are a) to tell Harry everything he wants to know, or b) let Marcone know that someone's pulling off unsanctioned hits in his territory. The latter has the other man, an experienced mercenary, going ''very'' pale.
60	* Toot-Toot explaining how Mab made sure that ''everyone'' in Faerie saw the... "ceremony" where she made Harry the Winter Knight.
61	** A certain Knight of the Cross's comments to Harry after his adventures with Mab. Even funnier in the audiobook thanks to James Marsters' absurd Russian accent.
62	--->"You hit that. You" --he scrunched up his nose, digging in his memory-- "tapped that ass. Presumably, it was phat."
63	** Also from Sanya, "You are a drug dealer. To tiny faeries. For shame."
64	** Sanya also takes the Knight's BigDamnHeroes thing up to eleven: A woman yells, "God in Heaven, help us!" The ''very next line'' of the book is Sanya running onto the scene and scaling the ladder, as if just waiting for his cue. Oh, and of course, he answers her with a cheery "It was probably just a coincidence, ma'am."
65	** Toot-Toot's comments about career changes are both funny and horrific.
66	-->"Harry's the new Winter Knight! Which is fantastic! The ''old'' Winter Knight mostly just sat around getting tortured. He never went on adventures or anything. Unless you count going crazy, I guess."
67	** The bit when Harry messes with Sanya's head a bit just before Toot arrives is pretty amusing, too.
68	--->'''Harry:''' You are way kookier than me, man. And ''I'' talk to pizza.
69	** The practically required jab at Sanya's... ''interesting'' opinions about his job, which he was hired for by an actual archangel:
70	--->'''Sanya:''' Bozhe moi!\
71	'''Harry:''' There's some real irony in your using that expression, [[FlatEarthAtheist O Knight of Maybe]].
72	** When Toot-Toot first shows up, Sanya mistakes him for a ''domovoi'' (house spirit), when he's actually a ''polevoi'' (field spirit). Toot gets all offended and starts [[ForeignLanguageTirade swearing at him in Russian]].
73	* "The Eebs were arguing with each other, probably employing a nonstandard use of pronouns."
74	* Last time they met, Susan and Lea were enemies, and consequently Susan is rather suspicious of Lea when they meet again. However, that goes out the window as soon as Lea starts changing Harry's clothes, and the two girls immediately start debating and critiquing the various clothes Harry has to try on.
75	-->'''Susan:''' You really ''do'' have a fairy godmother.
76	** Lea begins altering Harry's clothes, and at one point gives him ShouldersOfDoom, to which he quips:
77	--->"This is ridiculous. I look like the [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} Games Workshop]] version of a Jedi Knight."
78	** Lea also calls Susan Harry's concubine. When Susan, understandably, starts spluttering, Lea points out, perfectly accurately, that it is a good term for the unwed mother of his child.
79	* The argument about which member of [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings the Fellowship]] everyone is.
80	-->'''[[HuskyRusskie Sanya]]:''' It is like [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings movie]]. Dibs on [[{{Bishonen}} Legolas]].
81	** And then Thomas sticks his foot in his mouth.
82	---> '''Thomas:''' Gimli? How about Murphy, she's pretty--\
83	'''[[PintSizedPowerhouse Murphy]]:''' Finish that sentence, Raith, and we throw down.\
84	'''Thomas:''' [[LastSecondWordSwap Tough]]. I was going to say ''tough.''
85	** For the record, they eventually decide that Gimli is in fact [[HeroicDog Mouse]], by virtue of him being the shortest, stoutest, and hairiest. Also, Thomas announces that he's Legolas, because Sanya is ''clearly'' Aragorn, and Harry is pissed off at finding out belatedly that he didn't get to be Gandalf. That would be Lea. Harry was Sam.
86	* When the "Fellowship" gets to the jungle:
87	-->I fumbled back to the Way to close it and stopped the tide of ectoplasm from coming through, but not before the vegetation for ten feet in every direction had been smashed flat by the flood of slime, and every jungle creature for fifty or sixty yards started raising holy hell on the what-the-[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]-was-that partyline.
88	* A moment that can only be summed up thusly:
89	-->'''Mouse:''' That ''bitch''.
90	** And as context is everything, this was most ''certainly'' still an insult despite who was talking.
91	** And again at the end of the scene where Mouse reveals that, as far as he’s concerned, Dresden is his [[ThisIsMyHuman human]], not the other way [[{{Familiar}} around]].
92	** Also this:
93	--->'''Mouse:''' Restore them before I rip your ass off. Literally rip it off.
94	* This line from Harry's [[TheFairFolk fairy godmother]], the Leansidhe (which raises some interesting questions):
95	--> "I've not sacrificed a holy virgin in ''ages''."
96	** Or later this exchange while the Fellowship are being escorted to a dueling arena.
97	--->'''Molly:''' There are some pretty horrific stories about Mayan spectator sports, boss.\
98	'''Lea:''' Indeed. ''(happy sigh)'' They knew ''well'' how to motivate their athletes.
99	* Pretty much ''all'' of Lea's actions and interactions with the group in the third act, including acting giddy and excited by all the carnage, having her eye on the holy swords and especially when she turns them all into hounds, which she gleefully cries she's wanted to do for ''years''. Really, it's TokenEvilTeammate antics at their finest and it's just hilarious to witness.
100	* Harry has just been brought into the presence of the Red King:
101	-->'''Alamaya:''' You do not speak the true tongue of the ages, wizard, so my lord will use this slave to ensure that understanding exists between us.\
102	'''[[{{Troll}} Harry]]:''' [[TotallyRadical Radical. Wicked cool.]]\
103	Alamaya [[DeathGlare eyed me for a moment.]] Then she said something to the Red King, apparently conveying the fact that I had obnoxiously used phrasing that was difficult to translate.
104	** A few moments later, the Red King demands to know why he's come. Harry's reply: "Tell him he [[PrecisionFStrike fucking well]] knows why I'm here."
105	--->'''Harry:''' I don't know if ancient Mayan has a word for "bleep" or if she used it.
106	** There's also a layer of dark humor added to the whole thing when the Red King gives a DopeSlap to Alamaya when she’s trying to nervously stammer out a TactfulTranslation, clearly conveying "Stupid slave, translate the way I ''damned well'' told you to do or [[AssShove I'll break my foot off in your ass]]."
107	--->Okay. Maybe not that last part.
108	*** The whole thing with Alamaya gets ten times as funny when it turns out that ''the Red King actually speaks English'' and just feels like he's too above Harry to bother speaking with him directly.
109	* Harry, upon being told that a DuelToTheDeath has to be contained in a specific area:
110	-->"[[DestructiveSavior I have this]] [[RunningGag problem]] [[PlayingWithFire with]] ''[[{{Understatement}} buildings]]..."''
111	* Harry's PreAsskickingOneLiner to Duchess Ariana Ortega: "Bitch, ''come get some."''
112	* A mix of this and [=CMoA=], but when Harry is just about to finish off Ariana (a very powerful Red Court Vampire who might be older than ''human language''):
113	-->'''Ariana:''' ''(shocked)'' Cattle. You are c-cattle.\
114	'''Harry:''' ''(smirks, leans in and whispers to her)'' '''''[[BondOneLiner Moo]].'''''
115	* Harry being insulted that someone ''else'' is using ''Fuego'' (though in this case, it's just a bunch of mortal mercenaries using firearms and speaking in Spanish).
116	* [[invoked]] [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome Molly calls up her "One Woman Rave", so Thomas starts]] ''[[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome break dancing]]'' [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome while killing vampires.]]
117	* Harry tells Murphy that they have to get to the top of the pyramid, and Murphy's reaction is to go full-on LeeroyJenkins, charge the vampires (who are all at the PersonOfMassDestruction level ''at least''), and [[OneManArmy carve her way through]].
118	-->[[StunnedSilence Sanya blinked]].\
119	Holy crap. I hadn't meant for her to do ''that.''\
120	'''Sanya:''' ''(starting after her)'' [[CallBack Tiny. But]] ''[[CallBack fierce!]]''\
121	'''Harry:''' ''You're all insane!''
122	* [[invoked]] Also doubling as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, Harry fighting through the Red King's willpower attack while simultaneously snarking at his [[AGodAmI god complex]].
123	-->'''Red King:''' Bow. Down. Mortal.\
124	'''Harry:''' Bite. Me. Asshole.
125	* Harry tells Ebenezar that he doesn't know what to say (about Eb being his grandfather). Ebenezar tells him not to say anything; he gets in less trouble that way.
126	* A nice little bit of BlackComedy at the very end.
127	-->'''Harry:''' Why did I pick the shirt with a bullet hole in it?

Context Funny / Changes