History Funny / Changes

* This line from Harry's [[TheFairFolk fairy godmother]], the Leansidhe:

** There's also a layer of dark humor added to the whole thing when the Red King gives a DopeSlap to Alamaya when she is trying to nervously stammer out a TactfulTranslation, clearly conveying "Stupid slave, translate the way I ''damned well'' told you to do or [[AssShove I'll break my foot off in your ass]]."

** The narration notes that he isn't even ''trying'' to be sarcastic here: He literally just cannot help himself.

** And again at the end of the scene where Mouse reveals that, as far as he is concerned, Dresden is his [[ThisIsMyHuman human]], not the other way [[{{Familiar}} around]].

** Sanya also takes the Knight's BigDamnHeroes thing UpToEleven: A woman yells, "God in Heaven, help us!" The ''very next line'' of the book is Sanya running onto the scene and scaling the ladder, as if just waiting for his cue. Oh, and of course, he answers her with a cheery "It was probably just a coincidence, ma'am."

--> I looked at him, shocked. [[MundaneMadeAwesome He'd . . . used grammar]].

** After the inevitable explosion, Harry is mad because he just mailed in his rent check.

** And shortly afterward, Harry quickly realizes that he ''was'' right to be so suspicious upon discovering one of the guardians Lea put there - A '''massive''' carnivorous centipede that charges after him with intent to kill:

** Which gets even better a paragraph later when it turns out that the fiery beam of death ''didn't'' kill the bug, [[FromBadToWorse but instead split it into]] ''two'' bugs. [[ShoutOut Just like in]] ''VideoGame/{{Centipede}}''!

'''Murphy:''' Finish that sentence, Raith, and we throw down.\\
'''Thomas:''' Tough. I was going to say ''tough.''

* A small one at the beginning: After going to Mac's after Susan tells Harry that their daughter's been kidnapped, Harry tells [[SilentBob Mac]], who proceeds to caution Harry, that he's "got to be very careful." Harry's reaction?
--> I looked at him, shocked. [[MundaneMadeAwesome He'd . . . used grammar!]]

* Harry finding out that [[spoiler:the Red Court owns the office building which he works at. Which means he has been paying them rent.]]
** He then finds out that [[spoiler:they rigged his office room with explosives]]:

** After the inevitable explosion, Harry is mad because [[spoiler:he just mailed in his rent check.]]
* Harry sums up the ways women analyse each other with a single glance, looking at their fashion, appearance, bearing, and many other things to determine if they are a threat. He then outlines the male equivalent, which is limited to the questions “does he have beer? If so, will he share with me?”

* Harry crossing over from his own home into the Nevernever, completely prepared to face all sorts of horrible monsters, or conditions because he's sure his home only reflects bad things, and finding [[spoiler:a very pretty garden.]]
** And shortly afterward, [[spoiler:upon discovering one of the guardians Lea put there]]:
--->'''Harry:''' Booya! What have you got for fiery beam of death, huh? You got ''nothing'' for fiery beam of death! Might as well go back to Atari, bug-boy, 'cause you don't got game enough for me!"
** Which gets even better a paragraph later when [[spoiler:the fiery beam of death doesn't ''kill'' the bug, but splits it into ''two'' bugs.]] Just like in Centipede!
*** Doubled with an awesome moment, if the Nevernever side is always a reflection of the human world Harry's apartment is represented by a peaceful garden inhabited by a fearsome monster that only gets stronger and more terrible no matter what you throw at it.
---->'''Bob:''' ''[in a perfectly calm, matter-of-fact, conversational tone]'' Wow, that is incredibly unfair.
*** Even the subtle detail that Harry initially appears inside a circular planter full of daisies. He'd entered the Nevernever from inside his summoning circle, and appeared in another hemmed-in circle.
*** At a later point, Lea complains that now she has to feed two "gaping maws" instead of one.
*** And on the fridge humor end of things from this whole scene is the implication that Lea apparently ''played Centipede and used it for inspiration''.
* When Lea first shows up in Harry's apartment, she makes her appearance by [[ChairReveal dramatically swivelling around in his armchair]]...''despite the fact that the armchair can't swivel''. And Harry's more focused on the swivelling than on the powerful Faerie in his living room.
** She's even [[RightHandCat petting Mister]] while she does it. Considering she's known to act as a muse for artists, one has to wonder if she's where that particular trope got started.
* Most of Harry's interactions with Martin, if only because of Harry's irrational dislike for the man. Particularly when he and Susan get released from Lea's cocooning spell.

* Harry listening to [[spoiler:a recording of his mother talking about various routes through the Ways,]] which mentions that while moving through the darkness on one route, something tried to grab her.
-->'''Harry''': Maybe it was a [[VideoGame/{{Zork}} grue.]]
* And once again, Harry watches too many movies - and Susan backs him up.
-->'''Harry''': [[Film/ThePrincessBride If only we had a wheelbarrow.]]\\
'''Susan''': We have a great big truck!\\
'''Harry''': ''(bad British accent)'' Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?

* Harry sets up a meeting with Marcone. Where does he agree to have the meeting? A dark alley, or in the middle of one of Marcone's "business establishments?" Nope. [[spoiler:Burger King.]] And when Harry arrives, the first thing he does is walk right by Marcone and his entire collection of goons, [[spoiler:orders a sausage biscuit and coffee]], and ''then'' goes to see Marcone.
** Especially since one of his rationalizations to Molly for holding the meeting is, "I just want to see him there."

--->'''Marcone:''' ([[DeadpanSnarker completely deadpan]]) "Eek."
* At [=MonOc=] Securities, Harry can't avoid the urge of joking at the receptionists. When Gard warns him not to do it, he replies that he thinks the receptionists would feel hurt if he ''didn't'' lip off them, after he has done so to every bad guy he has met.
** The narration notes that he isn't ''trying'' to be sarcastic here: He literally just cannot help himself.
* At the end of the conversation with [[spoiler:Odin]].
-->'''[[spoiler:Odin]]:''' "How do you know I haven't given you exactly what you need?"\\
Then Harry is given a tray with tea and "[[RememberWhenYouBlewUpASun two cake doughnuts covered in thick white frosting]] [[{{Foreshadowing}} and unmarred by sprinkles of any kind]]."
* Upon returning home from above-mentioned conversation:
--> Martin was alphabetizing my bookshelves.\\

* "But evidently, those vampires had been noobs."

--->Stevie D looked like a man who suddenly realizes he is sitting near a hornets' nest and is trying desperately not to run away screaming.
* Toot-Toot explaining how Mab made sure that ''everyone'' in Faerie [[spoiler:saw the... "ceremony" where she made Harry the Winter Knight.]]
** A certain Knight of the Cross's comments to Harry after his adventures with [[spoiler:Mab.]] Even funnier in the audiobook thanks to James Marsters' absurd Russian accent.
---> [[spoiler:"You hit that. You" --he scrunched up his nose, digging in his memory-- "tapped that ass. Presumably, it was phat."]]
** Also, "You are a drug dealer. To tiny faeries. For shame."
** He also takes the Knight's BigDamnHeroes thing UpToEleven: A woman yells, "God in Heaven, help us!" The ''very next line'' of the book is Sanya running onto the scene and scaling the ladder, as if just waiting for his cue. Oh, and of course, he answers her with a cheery "It was probably just a coincidence, ma'am."

---> [[spoiler:"Harry's the new Winter Knight! Which is fantastic! The old Winter Knight mostly just sat around getting tortured. He never went on adventures or anything. Unless you count going crazy, I guess."]]

---> '''Harry:''' You are way kookier than me, man. And I talk to pizza.

** For the record, they eventually decide that Gimli is in fact [[HeroicDog Mouse]], by virtue of him being the shortest, stoutest, and hairiest. Also, Thomas announces that he's Legolas, because Sanya is ''clearly'' Aragorn, and Harry is pissed off at finding out belatedly that he didn't get to be Gandalf. [[spoiler:That would be Lea.]] Harry was Sam.

-->'''[[spoiler:Mouse]]:''' That ''bitch''.

** And again at the end of the scene where [[spoiler:Mouse]] reveals that, as far as he is concerned, Dresden is his [[ThisIsMyHuman human]], not the other way [[{{Familiar}} around]].

--->'''[[spoiler:Mouse]]:''' Restore them before I rip your ass off. Literally rip it off.

-->'''Harry:''' [[spoiler:Why did I pick the shirt with a bullet hole in it?]]

** A few moments later, the Red King demands to know why he's come. Harry's reply: "Tell him he fucking well knows why I'm here."

--->'''Harry's Narration:''' Okay. Maybe not that last part.

* Harry is just about to finish off Duchess Ariana Ortega, a very powerful Red Court Vampire who might have been older than recorded history:
-->'''Ariana''': Cattle. You are c-cattle.\\
'''Harry''': [[BondOneLiner Moo]].

* [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome Molly calls up her "One Woman Rave", so Thomas starts]] ''[[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome break dancing]]'' [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome while killing vampires.]]

-->''Holy crap. I hadn't meant for her to do'' that.\\
'''Sanya:''' (''starting after her'') [[CallBack Tiny. But ]]''[[CallBack fierce!]]''\\
'''Harry:''' You're all insane!
* Also doubling as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, Harry fighting through the Red King's willpower attack while simultaneously snarking at his AGodAmI complex.

* A nice little bit of black comedy at the end.
-->'''[[spoiler:Harry]]:''' [[spoiler:Why did I pick the shirt with a bullet hole in it?]]

** There's also a layer of dark humor added to the whole thing when the Red King gives a DopeSlap to Alamaya when she is trying to nervously stammer out a TactfulTranslation, clearly conveying "Translate it ''exactly'' the way he said it, damn it."

'''Lea:''' Indeed. ''(happy sigh)'' They knew well how to motivate their athletes.

** There's also a layer of dark humor added to the whole thing when the Red King gives a DopeSlap to when Alamaya is trying to nervously stammer out a TactfulTranslation, clearly conveying "Translate it ''exactly'' the way he said it, damn it."

* Harry being insulted that someone else is using ''Fuego.''

Martin plummeted from the ceiling and landed on a threadbare throw rug covering the concrete floor. Nobody was there to catch him, which was awful. Just awful.

-->'''Marcone:''' ([[DeadpanSnarker completely deadpan]]) "Eek."

-->'''Harry''': But for that to be true, I would have to not be the center of the universe.

* The scene where [[HuskyRusskie Sanya]] intimidates Stevie D. Though only a little bit amusing in the book itself, Creator/JamesMarsters' reading of it on the audiobook, and [[LargeHam the ludicrously thick accent he gives Sanya]], is absolutely hilarious.

** It's still hilarious in its own right, since Sanya is grinning from ear to ear while threatening this poor guy.

** A certain Knight of the Cross's comments to Harry after his adventures with [[spoiler:Mab.]] Even funnier on the audiobook, in James Marsters' Russian Accent.

** He also takes the Knight's BigDamnHeroes thing UpToEleven: A woman yells, "God in Heaven, help us!" The ''very next line'' of the book is Sanya running onto the scene and scaling the ladder, as if just waiting for his cue.

--> '''Susan:''' You really ''do'' have a fairy godmother.

--->''This is ridiculous. I look like the [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} Games Workshop]] version of a Jedi Knight.''

-->'''[[HuskyRusskie Sanya:]]''' It is like [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings movie]]. Dibs on [[{{Bishonen}} Legolas]].

* When they get into the jungle:
-->I fumbled back to the Way to close it and stopped the tide of ectoplasm from coming through, but not before the vegetation for ten feet in every direction had been smashed flat by the flood of slime, and every jungle creature for fifty or sixty yards started raising holy hell on the what-the-fuck-was-that partyline.

** As the Fridge page points out, is that even an insult from a dog's point of view?
*** Context is everything. Yes. Yes, it is.
** And again at the end of the scene where [[spoiler:Mouse]] reveals that, as far as he is concerned, Dresden is his [[ThisIsMyHuman Human]], not the other way [[{{Familiar}} around]].

--->''' [[spoiler:Mouse]]''': Restore them before I rip your ass off. Literally rip it off.

--> "I've not sacrificed a holy virgin in ages."

'''Lea:''' Indeed. (''happy sigh'') They knew well how to motivate their athletes.
* Pretty much all of Lea's actions and interactions with the group in the third act, including acting giddy and excited by all the carnage, having her eye on the holy swords and especially when she turns them all into hounds, which she gleefully cries she's wanted to do for ''years''. TokenEvilTeammate at its finest.

'''Harry:''' Radical. Wicked cool.\\
Alamaya eyed me for a moment. Then she said something to the Red King, apparently conveying the fact that I had obnoxiously used phrasing that was difficult to translate.

-->''I don't know if ancient Mayan has a word for ''"bleep"'' or if she used it.''

-->"[[DestructiveSavior I have this]] [[RunningGag problem]] [[PlayingWithFire with buildings]]..."

* A vampire leaps at Harry, but he anticipates the attack and has his shield readied. While raising his shield, he gives said vampire a very rude gesture with his shield hand as it smacks off the magical wall, which pretty perfectly sums up Harry Dresden right then and there.

-->''Holy crap. I hadn't meant for her to do that.''

-->'''[[spoiler:Harry]]:''' [[spoiler:Why did I wear the shirt with the bullet hole in it?]]