History WebOriginal / DerangedSororityGirl

* NotSafeForWork: You're just ''now'' figuring that out?
** The email is actually instructive for people who need to learn more curse words. Wow.

%%* AlphaBitch

* ShoutOut: Creator/BetteDavis' classic "Fasten your seat belts" line from ''Film/AllAboutEve'' is invoked in the very first paragraph:
-->''"...tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride."''[[note]] Most likely just a passing similarity - Rebecca doesn't sound like she was a film buff, so how likely is she to know of a 60-year-old movie?[[/note]]

It wasn't long before celebrity dramatic readings started popping up. First out of the gate was ''Series/AttackOfTheShow'' alumnus Alison Haislip (via [=PopHangover=], seen right top), who brought the appropriate levels of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0uXLSi7-Bs piss, vinegar, and hormones]]. Days later, Funny Or Die recruited Creator/MichaelShannon (right bottom) to put HIS spin on the email. [[http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter?playlist=featured_videos Like all things Shannon, it was...dark. And odd.]]

-->''"...tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride."''[[note:]] Most likely just a passing similarity - Rebecca doesn't sound like she was a film buff, so how likely is she to know of a 60-year-old movie?[[/note]]

%%* ClusterFBomb

-->''"...tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride."''
[[labelnote:*]] Most likely just a passing similarity - Rebecca doesn't sound like she was a film buff, so how likely is she to know of a 60-year-old movie? [[/labelnote]]

%%* UnstoppableRage[=/=]RageBreakingPoint

* AlphaBitch

* BrutalHonesty: At least, in Martinson's not-so-humble opinion...
* ClusterFBomb

* TrashTalk
* UnstoppableRage[=/=]RageBreakingPoint

* UpToEleven: Are you kidding? Martinson went past Eleven after the introductory paragraph.

* UpToEleven: Are you kidding? Martinson speeds past Eleven at LudicrousSpeed

It wasn't long before celebrity dramatic readings started popping up. First out of the gate was ''Series/AttackOfTheShow'' alumnus Alison Haislip (via [=PopHangover=], seen right top), who brought the appropriate levels of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NQB812PtvgE piss, vinegar, and hormones]]. Days later, Funny Or Die recruited Creator/MichaelShannon (right bottom) to put HIS spin on the email. [[http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter?playlist=featured_videos Like all things Shannon, it was...dark. And odd.]]

* ShoutOut: [[BetteDavis Bette Davis']] classic "Fasten your seat belts" line from Film/AllAboutEve is invoked in the very first paragraph:

* AllAboutEve: [[BetteDavis Bette Davis']] classic "Fasten your seat belts" line is invoked in the very first paragraph:
-->''"...tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride."''

* UpToEleven

* BrutalHonesty
* ClusterFBomb: And ''how.''

* UnstoppableRage / RageBreakingPoint

* CrossesTheLineTwice: Lampshaded. Martinson knows full well where the line is... and promptly speeds over it at Warp Factor 5 and never looks back. By the time you're done reading the email/watching the re-enactment videos, the line is probably orbiting Betelgeuse as it gets set to go nova.

--->''"I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team."''

--> Let's not forget this nugget: ''"I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team."''

It wasn't long before celebrity dramatic readings started popping up. First out of the gate was Series/AttackOfTheShow alumnus Alison Haislip (via [=PopHangover=], seen right top), who brought the appropriate levels of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NQB812PtvgE piss, vinegar, and hormones]]. Days later, Funny Or Die recruited MichaelShannon (right bottom) to put HIS spin on the email. [[http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter?playlist=featured_videos Like all things Shannon, it was...dark. And odd.]]

[[caption-width-right:283:I'm not a pissed-off sorority AlphaBitch, I just play one in a viral video.]]

[[caption-width-right:300:...and I'm ''definitely'' not one!]]

It wasn't long before celebrity dramatic readings started popping up. First out of the gate was Series/AttackOfTheShow alumnus Alison Haislip (via [=PopHangover=], as seen to the right), who brought the appropriate levels of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NQB812PtvgE piss, vinegar, and hormones]]. Days later, Funny Or Die recruited MichaelShannon to put HIS spin on the email. [[http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter?playlist=featured_videos Like all things Shannon, it was...dark. And odd.]]

It wasn't long before celebrity dramatic readings started popping up. First out of the gate was Series/AttackOfTheShow alumnus Allison Haislip (via [=PopHangover=], as seen to the right), who brought the appropriate levels of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NQB812PtvgE piss, vinegar, and hormones]]. Days later, Funny Or Die recruited MichaelShannon to put HIS spin on the email. [[http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4ad20b4edf/michael-shannon-reads-the-insane-sorority-letter?playlist=featured_videos Like all things Shannon, it was...dark. And odd.]]

[[caption-width-right:283:I'm not a pissed-off sorority AlphaBitch, I just play one on TV.]]