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** Skipping school (even if doing so turned out for the best) will get you months of detention.



* The most important thing to learn at bodyguarding school is how to do a BigNo when TakingTheBullet.

to:

* The most important thing to learn at bodyguarding school is how to do a BigNo when TakingTheBullet.TakingTheBullet.
* Lying is wrong, writing fiction with your mouth (which is ''not'' the same thing, despite [[DistinctionWithoutADifference what some people think]]) is fine.
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** Libya is a country of many contrasts.

to:

** Libya is a country of many contrasts.contrasts.
* If somebody's got your underpants, then ItsPersonal.
* Your doctor won't be able to help you if you have a flower embedded in your forehead. After all, [[ImADoctorNotAPlaceholder they're a doctor, not a gardener]].
* Holding your pee in for too long will cause your kidneys to explode. If this happens to a family member because you refused to stop at a restroom, you're liable to give them one of your kidneys.
* The most important thing to learn at bodyguarding school is how to do a BigNo when TakingTheBullet.
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* There's a difference between being bald and going bald.

to:

* There's a difference between being bald and going bald.bald.
* "Das Bus":
** In the hands of the wrong person, a grapefruit can lead to you and your friends being marooned on an island.
** Rubbing a rock against someone's glasses is the best way to make a campfire.
** Libya is a country of many contrasts.

Added: 57

Changed: 18

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** Whole lobsters can easily be regurgitated via the heimlich maneuver.

to:

** Whole lobsters can easily be both consumed and regurgitated via the heimlich maneuver.



* America was doing great in the 1930s.

to:

* America was doing great in the 1930s.1930s.
* There's a difference between being bald and going bald.
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* Letting your government officials sign checks with a stamp will quickly lead to bankruptcy.

to:

* Letting your government officials sign checks with a stamp will quickly lead to bankruptcy.bankruptcy.
* The Sun is the hottest place on Earth.
* No one ever admits to hearing their own voice on tape.
* A man fighting alcoholism is (mostly) funny; a woman fighting alcoholism is sad/concerning.
* Lonely geniuses make a lot of graphs.
* "In The Navy" is The United States Navy's theme song.
* The tar fumes will make anyone dizzy.
* America was doing great in the 1930s.
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Added DiffLines:

** There's always a rat living inside of a coffee vending machine.
** Going into space is a common occurrence.
** If you're worried about safety in a factory, just ditch any and all physical warning signs, then you'll have nothing more troubling you.
** An apartment between two bowling alleys is considered viable living quarters.
** Dogs make for great vice presidents.
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** It's impossible to give more than 100%.

to:

** It's impossible to give more than 100%.100%.
* Letting your government officials sign checks with a stamp will quickly lead to bankruptcy.
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* Your neighbor's wife butt being higher than your own wife's butt is a legitimate reason to hate him.

to:

* Your neighbor's wife wife's butt being higher than your own wife's butt is a legitimate reason to hate him.

Added: 376

Changed: 13

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* [[{{Catchphrase}} "Eat my shorts"]] can easily morph into [[YouNoTakeCandle "Eat pant".]]

to:

* [[{{Catchphrase}} [[CharacterCatchphrase "Eat my shorts"]] can easily morph into [[YouNoTakeCandle "Eat pant".]]



** When in doubt, shoot 'em all and let God sort them out.

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** When in doubt, shoot 'em all and let God sort them out.out.
* "Homer At The Bat":
** It's crucial to rescue a player piano and washer and dryer set from a fire.
** Prime Ministers are SeriousBusiness.
** Whole lobsters can easily be regurgitated via the heimlich maneuver.
** The best way to protect yourself in a thunderstorm is to seek shelter underneath a tree with a large piece of sheet metal.
** It's impossible to give more than 100%.
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* If you cut one in a car, turning up the radio will not "drown out" the smell.

to:

* If you cut one in a car, turning up the radio will not "drown out" the smell.smell.
* [[Recap/TheSimpsonsS12E1TreehouseOfHorrorXI Broccoli is one of the deadliest plants out there]]; it even tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste!
* No-one should get away with stealing from you. Even if they stole something (or some''one'') you don't care about, ItsThePrincipleOfTheThing.
* "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E20TheBoyWhoKnewTooMuch The Boy Who Knew Too Much]]"
** Mispronouncing "chowder" is a good way to incite homicidal rage in certain people.
** When in doubt, shoot 'em all and let God sort them out.
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* When in trouble, pray to ComicBook/{{Superman}}.

to:

* When in trouble, pray to ComicBook/{{Superman}}.ComicBook/{{Superman}}.
* If you cut one in a car, turning up the radio will not "drown out" the smell.
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** Egg nog's presence is made possible by the government, but only in the month of December. After that, they'll take it away.



* The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.

to:

* The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.marriage.
* When in trouble, pray to ComicBook/{{Superman}}.

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