History WarpThatAesop / LiveActionTV

* ''[=~The A-Team~=]'': VietnamWar veterans with mental problems are ''hilarious''.

** Every major news outlet besides Fox is liberal, anti-business and communist... [[TheManStickingItToTheMan despite the fact that they're all owned by huge capitalist corporations]].

* FoxNewsChannel and many of the right-wing pundits associated with it: StatusQuoIsGod; liberals are always bad because [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks they always want to change things]]. So bashing them and even [[http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Jim+ Adkisson%22 terrorizing a church full of them]] is okay!

*** {{A-l-e-x-99}}, the original poster: ''(hears WheelOfFortune Bankrupt sound)'' DAMN IT!!!

** Every major news outlet besides Fox is liberal, anti-business and communist...despite the fact that they're all owned by huge capitalist corporations.

* ''Bewitched'': Of course you should stay married to the woman who hid who true eternal nature from you, who refers to you, your family, your friends and everyone you have ever known as 'mortals', who can literally vaporise you and wipe all memory of your existence from the universe, and whose family members are all jaded, warped, amoral eternals who uniformly think your are less than human. What could go wrong?

** Being an attractive blonde with super powers absolutely sucks. If this ever happens to you, whine and mope about it as much as possible.

*** Mothers are evil! If they aren't emotionally blackmailing you to make you dependant on them, they're hitting on your time-travelling boyfriends. Frankly, families in general should be abolished. They just make you want to destroy the Earth so that your relatives can profit (Slitheen), or your babies can eat the corpses (Racnoss).

*** Unless the professional soldiers are led by a British man with a moustache and a relatively upmarket name like, say, Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart.

** If someone in odd, garish clothes turns up and starts spouting meaningless gibberish, don't worry--they're a time-travelling alien genius, not an escapee from the local mental health ward!

** Drew Carey's [[JustifiedTrope 100% justified]] poor execution of Terry Kniess's perfect bid on December 16, 2008 and the subsequent introduction of NintendoHard setups and new prizes to make it harder for the FanDumb to memorize everything makes criminal felony harrassment of a previously well-liked staffer [[WhatTheHellHero perfectly justified]].

* From the BBC's latest version of ''Series/RobinHood'': If you are a compassionate young woman who wants to help out the outlawed love of your life, a host of suffering peasants and the country that is slowly but surely being run into the ground, then you are ''not'' permitted to occasionally flirt with a man involved in the regime in order to gain information that could help aforementioned love, peasants and country. Doing this will make you a manipulative, dirty whore and when the man realises that you've been playing him and runs you through with his giant [[strike:phallic symbol]] sword, it will be entirely ''your'' fault. But feel free to look on from heaven whilst your husband starts a relationship with the sister of the man who murdered you.

* ''{{Scrubs}}'': Women are selfish, spoiled harpies who can't stand not getting their way with anything, refusing to see their hyprocricy whenever a man calls them out. This goes double for women from the Dominican Republic.

** Don't worry if you fail at being a resposible adult; your friends (who secretly can't stand you) will always pity you enough to be there for you. If no one else can be bothered, that is.

** ''StarTrek Enterprise'': Commanding a starship will cause even the most likeable of people to have outbreaks of jackassery and periodically grab hold of the IdiotBall.

** The best possible girlfriend for you, and the only one who could hope to fully understand and appreicate you, withut being a crazy stalker, is your sister.

** Remember kids, openly and violently opposing your goverment is called treason and incitement to civil war ''only' if the goverment is "good". Once you feel it doesn't cater to your arbitary and dupable moral believes anymore, your subversive actions classify as a "rebellion" and are perfectly legitimate. It's just as fine to pronounce some tactic improper (like involving a huge alien fleet in said showdown with your goverment or sending people on suicide missions) but then stoop to it without a second thought when you sorta really need it. Of course you should take care to make the pronouncement as loud and public as possible and reserve the actual authorisation of the trick to your inner circle.

** All Defense attorneys are amoral mustache twirling villains. And the cops, and DA are salt of the earth crusaders.

* WizardOFWaverlyPalace : The best possible girlfriend for you, and the only one who could hope to fully understand and appreicate you, withut being a crazy stalker, is your sister.

* ''DegrassiTheNextGeneration'': Varies by episode:
** General: If you're into the environment, then you're [[TheWesley always right]].
** Mother and Child Reunion [[ThereAreNoGirlsOnTheInternet There are no teenagers on the Internet.]]
** "Jagged Little Pill": If you do everything right, you'll still get blamed. Right, Sean? Also, if you don't want to have sex (The Mating Game), your girlfriend will cheat on you. Right, Jimmy?
** "When Doves Cry": That guy you saved from his abusive father, saved from suicide, was your best friend? Yeah, he'll forget you in a year.
** "Karma Chameleon": If a relationship interferes with TheWesley relationship, it will end spontaneously. And she'll end up with his best friend.
** "Careless Whisper": It's okay to stare at someone and lick your lips like a DepravedHomosexual, but don't call said DepravedHomosexual a fag. (See the DVD.)
** "White Wedding": It's okay to invite someone to your friend's mom's wedding, because even if she hates him, they'll get back together.
** "Message In A Bottle": DefeatMeansFriendship never works.
** "Don't Believe The Hype": [[YouAreWhatYouHate If you hate Muslims, you must be a Muslim.]] Therefore, [[FridgeBrilliance right-wing talk radio hosts are secretly Muslims!]]
** "Dressed In Black": If you have an opinion about your girlfriend's clothing, you're trying to change her.
** "Father Figure": It's a-ok to be prejudiced against the brain-damaged.
** "Gangsta Gangsta": [[TruffautWasRight Crime is a good way to get your crazy girlfriend to dump you.]]
** "This Charming Man": It's okay to be a vigilante and commit perjury.
** "Accidents Will Happen": [[strike:The "N" in The-N stands for Nazis.]] Also, cheating on your boyfriend (in the season 1 finale)? Awesome. Helping a guy cheat on his girlfriend? Slut!
** "Rock and Roll High School": There is nothing that cannot be solved by a shitty song.
** "Take On Me": Detention is fun! Also, computer crime is less serious than telling someone to go to hell.
** "Don't Dream It's Over": You beat your girlfriend? Well, you ruined her self-esteem so she'll [[WhoWouldEverTakeHimBack take you back]].
** "Power Of Love": Once you execute a HeelFaceTurn, everyone will forgive you. Except your ex-girlfriend. But you'll still be part of the FiveBadBand.
** "Ghost In The Machine": If you rape a girl, she won't tell anyone until all the evidence is destroyed.
** "Time Stands Still": BewareTheQuietOnes. Also, if you actively campaign against a bullying campaign that causes a kid to snap, you ''will'' be the one designated to kill him. And fist beats freedom of the press.
** "Back In Black": Even if everything you say is confirmed true, your girlfriend will think you're a liar.
** "Voices Carry": Turning a wedding into being about you and your girlfriend, embarrassing her in the process is okay, if you're [[strike:crazy]] bipolar.
** "Secret": Having sex with a guy who just broke up with his girlfriend? Slutty. Having sex with a guy who still has a girlfriend and you don't even like? Okay, as long as it's not 'real' sex.
** "Goin Down The Road": Don't vacation; your stalker boyfriend will go homeless!
** "Venus": Filming one girl stripping will just make her best friend like you more.
** "The Lexicon Of Love": Bisexuals exist. [[NoBisexuals Oh, wait, no.]] They're always either IfItsYouItsOkay or totally gay.
** "I Against I": Christians are an evil cult. Most Canadians aren't Christian.
** "Here Comes Your Man": Guys act crazy around girls. Cheating on your boyfriend is fine. Helping your girlfriend cheat on her BastardBoyfriend who [[HoYay idolizes you]] is fine and in fact heroic.
** "True Colours": The [[BigBad guy who is obviously evil]]...is.
** "Crazy Little Thing Called Love": Setting up a plan that caused a boy to snap and your best friend had to kill him resulting in a HeroicBSOD? He'll forgive that. Sleeping with a girl he later dates? [[BerserkButton Hell no!]]

** Remember kids, openly and violently opposing your goverment is called treason and incitement to civil war ''only' if the goverment is "good". Once you feel it doesn't cater to your arbitary and dupable moral believes anymore, your subversive actions classify as a "rebellion" and are perfectly legitimate. It's just as fine to pronounce some tactic improper (like involving a huge alien fleet in said showdown with your goverment or sending people on suicide missions) but then stoop to it without a second thought when you sorta really need it. Of course you should take care to make the pronouncement as loud and public as possible and reserve the actual authorisation of the trick to your inner circle.

** No matter how many innocent people you have tortured and killed in the past it is OK if you now genuinely feel bad about it