History WarpThatAesop / Literature

28th Jun '17 4:07:25 AM morane
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** If you are king, foul methods work just as well as fair, and assassination and subterfuge are just as good means of power than courage and leadership.
** If you are a lowly peasant, never get involved in the meddlings of the great and the powerful but mind your own business
** If you are an incompetent wizard, bluff your way to success - everyone will interpret it as powerful magic anyway




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** Leading a galactic drug cartel is just plain awesome



** If the only way to destroy a powerful artefact is to drop it in a volcano, use two disguised peasants to carry it there by foot, not the sentient gigantic eagles to fly it there.




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** Genocide is a perfectly valid solution with the enemy SlaveMooks.
28th Jun '17 4:00:10 AM morane
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* ''Literature/TheSilmarillion'': Three baubles are a perfectly good reason for starting a world war.
** Immortality and stupidity go hand in hand.
** If you are immortal, humans are basically CannonFodder for you, since they will die anyway.
** Never steal more than you can carry.
** The only deity who really cares about you is the evil one. The good ones are indifferent at best.
** Genocide is a perfectly good solution for resolving the issues with enemy SlaveMooks.
** If you are not on the side of the Elves, you are against them. If you are not against the BigBad, you are on his side.
** No good deed ever goes unpunished.
** If you grow powerful enough to challenge the neigh hostile and indifferent deities, the Creator will punish you for such impudence.
** Deities care only of the immortals. The plight and suffering of the mortals are not of their concern.
** Earthly paradise is reserved only for the immortals.
28th Jun '17 12:33:34 AM dspeyer
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** If you see a bunch of people being horribly racist to each-other, encourage them to be '''even more racist''' in a way that involves giving you money. They're clearly foolish enough to fall for it. You'll get rich. You won't get any sort of comeuppance. And if they do learn from the experience, that just means you'll have done a good deed.
24th Jun '17 4:21:45 PM WildKatGirl
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** Magic's only good for making people do what you want and healing. Unless it's not your's.

to:

** Magic's only good for making people do what you want and healing. Unless it's not your's.
yours.
24th Jun '17 4:20:44 PM WildKatGirl
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* WarpThatAesop/Twilight

to:

* WarpThatAesop/TwilightWarpThatAesop/{{Twilight}}
24th Jun '17 4:20:27 PM WildKatGirl
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*WarpThatAesop/Twilight
24th Jun '17 4:20:13 PM WildKatGirl
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* ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'':
** As long as you really love him, it's okay to let him stop you from visiting friends, break into your house at night, hurt you when you sleep together, get married at a young age, and have a child less than a year after marriage. And, if you really want to show your love, the best way is to cut off all your relationships with everyone but him!
** Females, regardless of age, have no worth outside of their relationship with a man.
** It's acceptable, even admirable, for men to fall in love with a small child.
*** Additionally, [[WifeHusbandry Hikaru Genji]] totally had the right idea when it came to child grooming.
** If a woman doesn't want to be married and have kids, then there's something desperately wrong with her.
*** And if she ''can't'' have kids, then there's something twice as wrong with her.
*** Actually, Bella believes exactly the opposite; "wanting to get married before sex is so out of date it's idiotic. Marriage is a pointless institution! I'm agreeing to live with you for the rest of eternity, but we're NOT getting married, that's crazy talk!" It's the narrative that proves her wrong and establishes the warped Aesop. Although that's probably an intended Aesop, too.
** You'll be happier dead than without your boyfriend.
** It's entirely okay, if not recommended, to establish romantic relationships entirely on personal appearances.
** Abuse is ok as long as he is hot!
** [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne What's wrong with marrying young?]]
** Women have no choice in their relationships. Once a guy has singled you out as his, there is no escape.
** Just because he ripped half your face off when you refused to go out with him doesn't mean he doesn't love you! Also, if he goes into a downward spiral afterwards because of his actions, you should instantly forgive him and become the perfect housewife for him and all his friends.
*** Be sure that you apologize for upsetting him so much that he had to rip off half your face in order to change your mind.
** Screw [[GirlNextDoor The Guy Next Door]] who actually knows and understands you. Go for the relationship with an attractive stranger with whom you have no actual chemistry or compatibility whatsoever!
** Necrophilia is awesome. So is bestiality. And pedophilia.
*** Wouldn't the logical answer then be to have sex with a dead puppy?
*** Don't give the author ideas for sequels!
** Months of self-imposed isolation and attempted suicide are healthy responses to your boyfriend leaving you
** Stalking, kidnapping, breaking and entering, false imprisonment and theft are all expressions of true love
** There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend forcing you to break off all contact with friends and family members he disapproves of
** Admitting that, deep down, you would like to kill and eat your significant other is romantic.
** Lust (in the guise of a MagicalNativeAmerican) is always wrong. Abstinence (in the guise of a guy who can give you a FateWorseThanDeath even if he doesn't want to) is always right.
** If he attempts suicide, he is showing that he loves you. The best way to show your affection is to commit suicide. If he tries to stop you, it's because he doesn't want you around for very long.
** Stable relationships are only for the dead and necrophiliacs.
** A man without massive amounts of body glitter is unattractive.
** It's perfectly okay for your boyfriend to blackmail you into marrying him, endanger your life, and cause you to be in terrible agony for two days straight. It's all in the name of love.
*** Additionally, there's nothing wrong with marrying a guy who refuses to have sex with you even though you're both aware that A:) Sex is something that you want very much from him and B:) Once married, you fully and reasonably expect to spend the rest of your life having sex.
** If your daughter breaks her hand trying to slap the boy who forced a kiss on her, feel free to compliment him on his sexual aggression.
*** Continuing from the above: If a girl refuses your romantic advances, you should force a kiss on her, not stopping even if she clearly struggles and tries to pull away.
** Ladies - don't waste your time on those boring, friendly boys who offer to help you get used to your new school, or invite you to hang out with their clique. Clearly, there's something wrong with them. What you want to do is hold out for the guy who sits in the darkest corner of the room and glares at you.
** If your father is trying to stop you from dating someone he disapproves of, then he obviously doesn't want you to be happy. You should marry the guy and do everything you can to cut your father out of your life. First chance you get, have your husband's family tell him you died and leave the country.
** Beautiful '''pale''' creatures like vampires are always superior to the average-looking, '''darker-skinned''' werevolves. That's the way things work, dear.
** It's okay to manipulate others for selfish gain, gush over people's appearances and whine over others imperfection, as long as you're the {{Protagonist}}. If a side-character does it, she's a bitch.
** If you often complain or insult people, including your parents, in your monologue, it's okay since being more ''intelligent'' and ''mature'' gives you an automatic permission to do so.
** If someone your age develops a creepy crush on your child, you should be more worried about the nicknames he's giving her.

to:

* ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'':
** As long as you really love him, it's okay to let him stop you from visiting friends, break into your house at night, hurt you when you sleep together, get married at a young age, and have a child less than a year after marriage. And, if you really want to show your love, the best way is to cut off all your relationships with everyone but him!
** Females, regardless of age, have no worth outside of their relationship with a man.
** It's acceptable, even admirable, for men to fall in love with a small child.
*** Additionally, [[WifeHusbandry Hikaru Genji]] totally had the right idea when it came to child grooming.
** If a woman doesn't want to be married and have kids, then there's something desperately wrong with her.
*** And if she ''can't'' have kids, then there's something twice as wrong with her.
*** Actually, Bella believes exactly the opposite; "wanting to get married before sex is so out of date it's idiotic. Marriage is a pointless institution! I'm agreeing to live with you for the rest of eternity, but we're NOT getting married, that's crazy talk!" It's the narrative that proves her wrong and establishes the warped Aesop. Although that's probably an intended Aesop, too.
** You'll be happier dead than without your boyfriend.
** It's entirely okay, if not recommended, to establish romantic relationships entirely on personal appearances.
** Abuse is ok as long as he is hot!
** [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne What's wrong with marrying young?]]
** Women have no choice in their relationships. Once a guy has singled you out as his, there is no escape.
** Just because he ripped half your face off when you refused to go out with him doesn't mean he doesn't love you! Also, if he goes into a downward spiral afterwards because of his actions, you should instantly forgive him and become the perfect housewife for him and all his friends.
*** Be sure that you apologize for upsetting him so much that he had to rip off half your face in order to change your mind.
** Screw [[GirlNextDoor The Guy Next Door]] who actually knows and understands you. Go for the relationship with an attractive stranger with whom you have no actual chemistry or compatibility whatsoever!
** Necrophilia is awesome. So is bestiality. And pedophilia.
*** Wouldn't the logical answer then be to have sex with a dead puppy?
*** Don't give the author ideas for sequels!
** Months of self-imposed isolation and attempted suicide are healthy responses to your boyfriend leaving you
** Stalking, kidnapping, breaking and entering, false imprisonment and theft are all expressions of true love
** There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend forcing you to break off all contact with friends and family members he disapproves of
** Admitting that, deep down, you would like to kill and eat your significant other is romantic.
** Lust (in the guise of a MagicalNativeAmerican) is always wrong. Abstinence (in the guise of a guy who can give you a FateWorseThanDeath even if he doesn't want to) is always right.
** If he attempts suicide, he is showing that he loves you. The best way to show your affection is to commit suicide. If he tries to stop you, it's because he doesn't want you around for very long.
** Stable relationships are only for the dead and necrophiliacs.
** A man without massive amounts of body glitter is unattractive.
** It's perfectly okay for your boyfriend to blackmail you into marrying him, endanger your life, and cause you to be in terrible agony for two days straight. It's all in the name of love.
*** Additionally, there's nothing wrong with marrying a guy who refuses to have sex with you even though you're both aware that A:) Sex is something that you want very much from him and B:) Once married, you fully and reasonably expect to spend the rest of your life having sex.
** If your daughter breaks her hand trying to slap the boy who forced a kiss on her, feel free to compliment him on his sexual aggression.
*** Continuing from the above: If a girl refuses your romantic advances, you should force a kiss on her, not stopping even if she clearly struggles and tries to pull away.
** Ladies - don't waste your time on those boring, friendly boys who offer to help you get used to your new school, or invite you to hang out with their clique. Clearly, there's something wrong with them. What you want to do is hold out for the guy who sits in the darkest corner of the room and glares at you.
** If your father is trying to stop you from dating someone he disapproves of, then he obviously doesn't want you to be happy. You should marry the guy and do everything you can to cut your father out of your life. First chance you get, have your husband's family tell him you died and leave the country.
** Beautiful '''pale''' creatures like vampires are always superior to the average-looking, '''darker-skinned''' werevolves. That's the way things work, dear.
** It's okay to manipulate others for selfish gain, gush over people's appearances and whine over others imperfection, as long as you're the {{Protagonist}}. If a side-character does it, she's a bitch.
** If you often complain or insult people, including your parents, in your monologue, it's okay since being more ''intelligent'' and ''mature'' gives you an automatic permission to do so.
** If someone your age develops a creepy crush on your child, you should be more worried about the nicknames he's giving her.
24th Jun '17 4:17:20 PM WildKatGirl
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* If you are an atheist, you cannot be a doctor unless your apprentice is religious.

to:

* ** If you are an atheist, you cannot be a doctor unless doctor. Unless your apprentice is religious.
religious.

* ''Literature/WindOnFire'':
** Valuing intelligence is evil.
** Metal contraptions that make strange noises will save us all.



* ''RainbowFish'': self-mutilation will make you happy and popular.

to:

* ''RainbowFish'': self-mutilation Self-mutilation will make you happy and popular.
24th Jun '17 4:13:24 PM WildKatGirl
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to:

* If you are an atheist, you cannot be a doctor unless your apprentice is religious.
18th Jun '17 8:40:52 AM BrendanRizzo
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* ''Literature/{{Victoria}}'': People disagreeing with your opinions will lead to the collapse of civilization. ...No wait, that's an intended Aesop. Making America great again entails making a mockery of everything the country holds dear, including the Bill of Rights? ...Wait, that too is intended. The only bad thing about the Nazis was their support of industrialization? ...No, even that is intentional. Slavery is only bad when Muslims do it? ...What, even ''that''? Okay, how about, "it's acceptable to take credit for someone else's accomplishments if they're of a hated minority." ...You've got to be kidding me, the book supports that too? What about "America in the Great Depression had no problems and we should go back to it. That means women and minorities better know their place." ...Wait, [[PropagandaMachine that's literally the premise of the whole book]]. Environmentalists are literally TooDumbToLive? ...Why am I not surprised that's deliberate by now? [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Cold fusion works?]] ...''You've gotta be kidding me!''

to:

* ''Literature/{{Victoria}}'': People disagreeing with your opinions will lead to the collapse of civilization. ...No wait, that's an intended Aesop. Making America great again entails making a mockery of everything the country holds dear, including the Bill of Rights? ...Wait, that too is intended. The only bad thing about the Nazis was their support of industrialization? ...No, even that is intentional. Slavery is only bad when Muslims do it? ...What, even ''that''? Okay, how about, "it's acceptable to take credit for someone else's accomplishments if they're of a hated minority." ...You've got to be kidding me, the book supports that too? What about "America in the Great Depression had no problems and we should go back to it. That means women and minorities better know their place." ...Wait, [[PropagandaMachine [[PropagandaPiece that's literally the premise of the whole book]]. Environmentalists are literally TooDumbToLive? ...Why am I not surprised that's deliberate by now? [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Cold fusion works?]] ...''You've gotta be kidding me!''
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