History WMG / TheBeatles

** Okay, this idea sounded really bloody ridiculous to me until I went and listened to the song off Itunes on headphones so I could hear all of the background noise and bass and hear how creepy a lot of it is. Now it makes a lot of sense, at least the idea of The Banker being a sinister figure (there's a really creepy HellIsThatNoise effect when he arrives at the barber's at the end) and the Fireman rushing in to save the barber at the end (his LeitMotif is trumpets and a clanging bell that seems like perfect music for TheCavalry). Also note the Banker "waiting for a trim"...didn't one branch of the Mythos-maybe even WebVideo/TribeTwelve-connect Slendy to a German folktale about a sinister creature that wielded a giant pair of scissors with which he pursued naughty children?

So basically, the Horsemen are pleasant guys who wanted a break from their unpleasant jobs, so they incarnated on Earth and formed a band, and became incredibly popular, and so on.

[[WMG: “Somedays” by PaulMcCartney (on his “Flaming Pie” album) is about one half of a devoted elderly couple being affected by Alzheimer’s Disease.]]

[[WMG: “Somedays” by Paul McCartney (on his “Flaming Pie” album) is about one half of a devoted elderly couple being affected by Alzheimer’s Disease.]]

[[WMG: “Somedays” by Paul McCartney (on his “Flaming Pie” album) is about one half of devoted elderly couple being affected by Alzheimer’s Disease.]]

* 1981: Pete, with the [[JustForPun help]] of the two mad scientists from Film/{{Help}}, sends Ringo back in time to [[Film/{{Caveman}} prehistoric years]], hoping that he'll be eaten by a sabre-toothed tiger or something. Instead Ringo invents fire and music, and returns to the twentieth Century with his new wife Creator/BarbaraBach.

* The Beatles are routinely described as "overrated" by people who think they just [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny aren't that good]], but that's not what this WMG is about. Consider: even if you believe that the Beatles were the greatest band of all time, you have to admit that no other band has had to undergo such an unbelievable tsunami of hype and insane devotion, from screaming fans who thought they'd die if they could just touch the band members, to Timothy Leary calling them angels of god, sent down to create a new human species.[[note]]"I declare that The Beatles are mutants. Prototypes of evolutionary agents sent by God, endowed with a mysterious power to create a new human species, a young race of laughing freemen.[[/note]] No matter how much you may love the band, that's more than one rock and roll band can be expected to live up to. Therefore, the Beatles ''really are'' overrated, if only because ''nobody'' is that good.

* This is probably happening somewhere in Canada. The Fireman's "portrait of the queen" that he keeps in his pocket is on a Canadian $20 bill that he's planning to give to Slendy in case that works. The nurse selling poppies was selling them for Rememberance Day, which falls on 11/11 (sequences of the same number show up a lot in Franchise/TheSlenderManMythos, plus the dead of winter seems the best time for Slendy to strike). The references to her "thinking she was in a play" imply that she had a similar experience to the WebVideo/EverymanHybrid crew; she thought she was just in a play about Slendy but he turned out to be after her in real life.

* Mark Chapman was actually a [[TimePolice time cop]] who was sent to stop Lennon from changing the original timeline. However, even time cops get it wrong sometimes. Having mistakenly travelled to 1980 (way too late to prevent Lennon’s time meddling), he improvised by killing him without even trying to make it look like an accident. For this, he was punished by being prevented from returning to his own time.
* Most of the fans at the Shea Stadium gig were also time travellers (albeit not from Lennon's original timeline) who wanted to see a live Beatles performance. For time travellers who are into music, this would be an experience as desirable as space tourism. This explains why George visited the USA before and noted that the Beatles were not very famous there.

* The public's perception of John Lennon had come to reluctantly include Yoko Ono in that picture. That perception would be infinitely easier to maintain if John wasn't around to ruin it. And, hell - maybe she just didn't want to be a mommy/wife to what she might have seen as a acid-casualty manchild who was absolutely disinterested in doing his part to put Yoko Ono on the cover of People magazine. What was the man good for?

As explained in the "Paul is Dead" section, Paul is a vampire. When Ringo was around 60, he became one as well, hence why he not only looks shockingly good for 79, but is also surprisingly active and up to date on modern technology. What caused Ringo's death? Maybe it was a hoard of fangirls he could no longer outrun, who trampled him. Maybe WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends rebelled against their human oppressors, in a bloody train rebellion that left hundreds dead on both sides. Maybe the octopus whose garden he loved to visit accidentilly hugged him too tightly and suffocated him. Maybe his drum set fell over, who knows. However it happened, Ringo was killed/fatally wounded. Paul didn't hesitate to save his friend, and make him a [[{{Pun}} blood relative.]] Since then, Ringo hasn't aged a day over 60. He now wears sunglasses to hide his bloodread vampiric eyes. (Paul has more experience being a vampire and learned to hide them with his undead magic.)

No, this theory isn't a joke. No more than any of the other theories on this page, anyway. So, let's pretend these two songs have a plot. It starts out with a normal man obtaining mind control powers by an unknown means -- [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs let's just say it involved copious amounts of LSD]]. Realizing the influence he could obtain with these powers, he sets out to [[AssimilationPlot assimilate the entire population of the world into his mind]] and, having always been a fan of ''Literature/AliceInWonderland'', renames himself "The Walrus" after [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Walrus_and_the_Carpenter another famous evil manipulator]]. The events of "I Am the Walrus" tell the story of one of the Walrus's early victims, an unidentified man who finds himself unable to fight the Walrus's hypnotic power. He exclaims "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together" as he feels his mind being pooled into the Walrus's alongside several others, finally giving in and admitting "I am the Walrus!". The rest of the song consists mostly of [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs disjointed]] [[WordSaladLyrics nonsense]] as the protagonist's mind melds with that of other victims around him and is finally subdued at the hands of the Walrus. However, it should be noted that there are a few cryptic references to apparent survivors of this attack ("See how they run like pigs from a gun," "Naughty girl," "Naughty boy"), indicating that the Walrus still has a long way to go before his goals are achieved.

* [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs What do you mean the above post wasn't made on drugs??]]

** They've attempted to reveal this through ''Film/{{Help}}'' (see above), ''Music/{{Revolver|Beatles Album}}'', ''Music/SgtPeppersLonelyHeartsClubBand'', ''Film/MagicalMysteryTour'', ''WesternAnimation/YellowSubmarine'' and ''Music/AbbeyRoad''. Alas, the {{Muggles}} [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs haven't gotten the message]].
* [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs Hey, compared to a lot of the WMGs here, this is pretty sane.]]

The song has a strong WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs vibe. Maybe John did have ArtisticStimulation when he wrote the song -- but he was ''definitely'' sober when MMT was released. And when John was off drugs, he was careful to deny getting any positive creative influence from drugs at all. So if this was to LSD what "Got to Get You Into My Life" was to marijuana (according to latter-day Paul), John couldn't admit to the song having a meaning at all.

[[WMG:Julian Lennon was Paul ''via'' FreakyFriday]]

* ...Yeah, I get [[IncrediblyLamePun bi]] with a little help from my friends.

He never died. In order to save himself from his illnesses brought on by smoking, he donned a life support suit. However, an awful accident while he was meditating sent him back in time to the 60's, where he was forced into servitude by The Announcer. Although unable to speak clearly, both due to the suit and his illnesses, his musical talent extends to his melee weapon taunts. [[IncrediblyLamePun Here Comes The Sun]] indeed!

Specifically, beetles. But they don't want to make it too obvious and their band name "The Beatles" is a result of an IncrediblyLamePun that one of the musicians came up with.

As explained in the "Paul is Dead" section, Paul is a vampire. When Ringo was around 60, he became one as well, hence why he not only looks shockingly good for 79, but is also surprisingly active and up to date on modern technology. What caused Ringo's death? Maybe it was a hoard of fangirls he could no longer outrun, who trampled him. Maybe WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends rebelled against their human oppressors, in a bloody train rebellion that left hundreds dead on both sides. Maybe the octopus whose garden he loved to visit accidentilly hugged him too tightly and suffocated him. Maybe his drum set fell over, who knows. However it happened, Ringo was killed/fatally wounded. Paul didn't hesitate to save his friend, and make him a [[IncrediblyLamePun blood relative.]] Since then, Ringo hasn't aged a day over 60. He now wears sunglasses to hide his bloodread vampiric eyes. (Paul has more experience being a vampire and learned to hide them with his undead magic.)

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is headlining a concert. For their opening number, they introduce their band ("Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band") and their frontman, Billy Shears, who sings them "With A Little Help From My Friends." He then goes on to begin to tell the story of Lucy, a girl who ran away from home. He introduces Lucy with "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds," a song with lots of emphasis on transportation -- "a boat on a river," "newspaper taxis," "a train in a station" -- alluding to her departure. Billy then gives his own personal insight on Lucy's situation ("Getting Better"), saying he too "used to get mad at [his] school" and that he used to be an "angry young man." Lucy is about to run away for good, but her mind begins to wander, wondering where she will go. ("Fixing A Hole") She decides it "doesn't really matter," and departs on "Wednesday morning at five o'clock," and leaves her parents "a note she hoped would say more." She finds a job thanks to her connections in the motor trade, and with her newfound source of income, she finds she can now go out and have fun. ("She's Leaving Home") On her travels, she encounters Mr. Kite's circus, where she encounters Henry the Horse, one of the performers. Lucy is called from the audience to be a volunteer, and she ends up waltzing with Henry. ("Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite!") During the dance, Lucy realizes leaving home has left a hole in her heart, and she and Henry have a conversation about love, and she finds she may have some feelings for him. ("Within You Without You") As it turns out, Henry reciprocates Lucy's affections, and proposes to her, making her "[his] forever more." ("When I'm Sixty-Four") However, one day, as Henry is out and about, he encounters a meter maid named Rita who gives him a ticket. Enthralled by Rita's dominant attitudes toward men, he begins to see her on the side and they begin having an affair, and he finds himself "sitting on a sofa with a sister or two." However, one day, as Henry is driving around, he passes by Rita, and he bids that she "give [him] a wink and make [him] think of her." Henry, distracted, does not see the changing traffic light, and [[DeathBySex is hit by another car]]. ("Lovely Rita") Henry is rushed to the hospital, an incident that Billy recounts from the doctor's perspective. The doctor says that there is "nothing to do to save his life," and decides it's "time for tea and meet the wife" -- that is, break the news to Lucy. ("Good Morning Good Morning") Billy and the band conclude their performance, but are cheered on for an encore. ("Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)") Billy returns and tell the audience about his own experience with Henry's death, noting how insignificant the loss of another man's life seemed to be as he read the obituary in the paper, no more important to him than learning "how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall" or his rush to avoid being late for work. ("A Day In The Life.")

He claimed that "How Can You Sleep?" was really about himself once the [=McCartney=][=/=]Music/{{Wings}} fans of the era noticed what exactly he had tried to pull with that song. And many of the other songs John wrote about himself that aren't in first person are ''very'' rough on himself. Since the Beatles were still getting along when the earlier songs of this nature were written, and since Paul helped write many of them -- either from obliviousness or because he wasn't going to let his ego get in the way of good music (at least not that way) -- the second target was never noticed.

* Of course he could fly. After all, [[IncrediblyLamePun he's got Wings.]] But even after he lost his Music/{{Wings}} around 1980, he could fly. The Wings were decorative.

** John's patronus was a walrus, and Ringo's is an octopus. Paul's is some sort of bird, hence Music/{{Wings}}.

[[WMG: Franchise/{{Batman}} villians are mentioned in "I Am the Walrus"]] Consider the lyrics, "Don't you think ComicBook/TheJoker laughs at you?" and "Elementary [[EverythingsBetterWithPenguins Penguin]].

** Retconned by the Walrus, that's who. And not [[TheWalrusWasPaul the one who was Paul]]. Or the one who was John. Or the one from ''[[AppealToObscurity Scamper]] [[OddNameOut the]] [[EverythingsBetterWithPenguins Penguin]]''.

The other members are Viral = Paul [=McCartney=] (he ''won't'' die), Simon = Ringo Starr (as people mostly don't pay the deserved attention in him), and Kittan probably could be George Harrison (not really sure how). Which would make the whole [[NamesTheSame Yoko]] Ono incident a bit more complicated...

[[WMG: Paul is dead, and the current Paul [[Anime/FullmetalAlchemist is a homunculus]] created by a failed attempt at human transmutation by John]]

* 2006: While in Fiji, Best overhears that [[Music/KeithRichards a stoned British rock star is tripping out in a coconut tree.]] Hoping the tropical sun might be enough to disintegrate the vampiric ex-Beatle, or at least weaken him enough to die in the fall, Pete runs to the tree and shakes its trunk, aiming to dislodge the hiding vampire from the shade of the leaves. He shakes the tree until the star falls out, but it's not the [[IncrediblyLamePun Starr]] he was aiming for! Keith survives the fall (possibly due to him ''also'' [[WMG/TheRollingStones being a vampire]]).

** George's Horcrux was his BadassBeard. When he realised this, he shaved it off. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done, the beard having infected George's body with the cancer that would ultimately kill him.

[[WMG: [[VideoGame/{{Touhou}} Cirno]] broke up Music/TheBeatles.]]

After that unwanted car crash, EMI and the British government itself was in a panic: after all, the Beatles had been their prime export. The secret formula for getting KingArthur to return was broken out--and then modified when they realized Paul's ancestry can be traced to KingArthur: why not just call Paul himself? (Yes, that ancestry goes through Mordred--it can't be helped.) They were able to pull Paul back out of the afterlife. He still sometimes shows unworldly/otherworldy traits... For some reason, the need for Paul [=McCartney=] has been continual--either he hasn't been allowed to go back to the afterlife, or he keeps getting summoned here when he tries.

* Does this mean Paul [=McCartney=] is [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Shinji]] and Instrumentality was an instant-upload [[Film/TheMatrix Matrix]]?