History WMG / JohnDiesAtTheEnd

[[WMG: In the JDATE universe all of the Cracked collumists are somehow wrapped up in the assorted occult gibberish.]]

* The night Amy disappeared, Dave did kill her. The Amy that reappears in the house is a Korrok double. Maybe or maybe not the same one that Dave and John rescue in Shit Narnia. When Fred/Molly asks Dabe if he wishes he’d died instead of Amy, Fred/Molly Cosmically retconned Dave into being Mister Dave and the body in the shed into being Real Dave, and brought Amy back to life.

* The night Amy disappeared, Dave ‘’did’’kill her. The Amy that reappears in the house is a Korrok double. Maybe or maybe not the same one that Dave and John rescue in Shit Narnia. When Fred/Molly asks Dabe if he wishes he’d died instead of Amy, Fred/Molly Cosmically retconned Dave into being Mister Dave and the body in the shed into being Real Dave, and brought Amy back to life.

* Also, it is notable that Korrok became sentient the exact day Rooney died. Recall Molly being able to carry John's astral projection to John himself, restoring his life upon contact. It is possible that Rooney removed his own soul and implanted it into Korrok to become immortal.

The current version of the universe that John and Dave inhabit has realistic and exaggerated war-game simulations that people can "play" simply by buying an electronic box and some media discs. This system may have developed some form of internet-based interactivity system in a later rewrite of the universe, creating a culture of [[{{GIFT}} nigh-sociopathic pseudonymous children]] with [[AGodAmI varying grades of megalomania]] from which a member was flung back in spirit to the early 20th century where he (or she or it) inhabited a rudimentary biological ArtificialIntelligence. This would help explain why Korrok not only [[AliensSpeakingEnglish uses "local" slang and epithets when overshadowing or talking directly to teens from John's and Dave's world, but also in what seems to be its daily life]].

When Korrok is described, it is noted that Shadow Men are constantly slithering over it, compared to an oil slick. This supports the idea that Soy Sauce is the essence of the Shadow Men made material, and when a person consumes Soy Sauce, they gain the abilities of the Shadow Man.
Korrok is entirely powered by Shadow Men- raw, unrefined Soy Sauce. This is how it has become omniscient and godlike.
Also, it is notable that Korrok became sentient the exact day Rooney died. Recall Molly being able to carry John's astral projection to John himself, restoring his life upon contact. It is possible that Rooney removed his own soul and implanted it into Korrok to become immortal.

* it’s implied that the Korrok we see in shit narnia is just one facet of a multidimensional being, and that he was close to breaking into Earth. Now, what does Korrok’s speech pattern remind you of? 12-year-olds on COD. The Shadow Men RetCon-ed FirstPersonShooters into our world as part of a much larger plan to nudge us towards Korrok’s divine will.

Or something similar.

He dies at the police station, right. And it's never made clear exactly how he comes back. We assume he's abusing the time looseness side effects of the Sauce to retroactively engineer his resurrection, but there has to be a specific point in time where he goes from being dead to not being dead and being captured by Shitload, and when and why does that happen? How about when Dave starts receiving John's time-displaced calls and conjures an image of him that's brought to life by the Soy Sauce, as it usually does? They might suspect, but be terrified of thinking it and making John vanish, which would explain why it never comes up in the story.

No, the reanimated twitchy guy wasn't right. At least, not the movie version of him anyway. When he sees Dave brandishing the axe, he says "That's the axe that slayed me." Dave did not slay him with the axe. He slayed him by shooting him eight times and then only used to axe to behead him afterwards to avoid him coming back to life. Course that's all dependent on him having been dead at the time of decapitation. At least we hope he was, it took several hacks to get that thing off.

I distinctly remember reading a section towards the end dealing with the difference between gods and lesser beings (specifically Korrok and his views). It was a detailed summary of the NightmareFuel of how a chilli pepper evolved fiery acids to deter animals from eating them and yet people eat them purely because of that reason. When I read this book again that section was nowhere to be found. It's been changed.

John has horrible hallucinations, both audio and visual that force him into beliving that he is fighting demons, that are not actually there. In this theory, John and Amy do not exist, they are illusioned people that John has created because his crippling co-dependency has driven him to create anyone else that might be his best friends. His insanity is slightly manageable and does allow him to hold down a job, but whenever he gets bored, or lonely, he begins to invent these odd situations and adventures.

""One more victim, sucked in by John. You get in a room with him and you just fall into a warm pool of beer and video games and penis jokes, staring out at the universe with him and saying, "Do you believe this shit?"

John has horrible hallucinations, both audio and visual that force him into beliving that he is fighting demons, that are not actually there. In this theory, John and Amy do not exist, they are illusioned people that John has created because his crippling co-dependancy has driven him to create anyone else that might be his best friends. His insanity is slightly managable and does allow him to hold down a job, but whenever he gets bored, or lonely, he begins to invent these odd situations and adventures.

[[WMG:JDATE is one of the multiverses mentioned in TengenToppaGurrenLagann.]]