History TheReasonYouSuckSpeech / LiveActionTV

* ''Series/TheOffice'':

--->'''The Doctor''': I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war, this funny little thing? This is not a war, ''[[SuddenlyShouting I FOUGHT IN ]][[GreatOffscreenWar A BIGGER WAR THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW]], [[TheAtoner I DID WORSE THINGS THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE,]] [[ShellShockedVeteran AND WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, I HEAR MORE SCREAMS THAN ANYONE COULD BE ABLE TO COUNT!]]'' And do you know what you do with that pain? [[WorldOfCardboardSpeech Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight, till it burns your hand. And you say this: No-one else will ever have to live like this, no-one else will have to feel this pain.]]
[[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Not on]] [[BadassBoast my watch.]]
** Both of them stand down. And the best part about it? [[spoiler: [[SecretTestOfCharacter Both of the boxes were fakes.]] [[GuileHero The Doctor had disabled them already before starting his speech]], and when Kate points out that their knowledge that the boxes were dummies means the peace treaty is now threatened, the Doctor points out that this is what they both said [[StableTimeLoop the last 15 times he's had this conversation with them]], and wipes their memories once again.]]

--->'''The Doctor''': Because it's not a game, Kate. This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought right there in front of you. Because it's always the same. [[WarIsHell When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die. You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken! How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill]] until everybody does what they're always going to have to do from the very beginning -- [[PunctuatedForEmphasis SIT! DOWN! AND TALK!]] Listen to me, listen. I just -- I just want you to think. Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind.

--->'''The Doctor''': I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war, this funny little thing? This is not a war, ''[[SuddenlyShouting I FOUGHT IN ]][[GreatOffscreenWar A BIGGER WAR THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW]], [[TheAtoner I DID WORSE THINGS THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE,]] [[ShellShockedVeteran AND WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, I HEAR MORE SCREAMS THAN ANYONE COULD BE ABLE TO COUNT!]]'' And do you know what you do with that pain? [[WorldOfCardboardSpeech Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight, till it burns your hand. And you say this: No-one else will ever have to live like this, no-one else will have to feel this pain.]] [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Not on]] [[BadassBoast my watch.]]

** "[[{{Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E03Afterimage}} Afterimage]]" features rogue Cardassian Garak delivering a cutting put-down to Ezri Dax concerning her perceived failure to live up to [[TheNthDoctor her predecessor's legacy]], ending with [[KickTheDog "Now, get out of here... before I say something unkind."]]

--->'''The Doctor''': I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war, this funny little thing? This is not a war, ''[[SuddenlyShouting I FOUGHT IN ]][[GreatOffscreenWar A BIGGER WAR THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW]], [[TheAtoner I DID WORSE THINGS THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE,]] [[ShellShockedVeteran AND WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES, I HEAR MORE SCREAMS THAN ANYONE COULD BE ABLE TO COUNT!]] And do you know what you do with that pain? [[WorldOfCardboardSpeech Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight, till it burns your hand. And you say this: No-one else will ever have to live like this, no-one else will have to feel this pain.]] [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Not on]] [[BadassBoast my watch.]]"

The Doctor: You're all the same, you screaming kids, you know that? "Look at me, I'm unforgivable." Well here's the unforeseeable, [[{{Forgiveness}} I forgive you. After all you've done. I forgive you.]]

** Garak (sensing a pattern here) verbally tears [[ShutUpKirk Sisko]] apart in "[[{{Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS06E19InThePaleMoonlight}} In the Pale Moonlight]]", when Sisko storms into his shop and physically attacks him for forging a supposedly-incriminating document from the Dominion and then killing the Senator who discovered that it was a fake. The best part of it is that everything Garak says is correct and his plan [[MagnificentBastard goes off without a hitch.]]

* ''Series/AmericanHorrorStoryCult'': In the series finale, StrawMisogynst Kai Anderson gives a rather hard-hitting one to Ally after he takes the senatorial debate hostage and holds her at gunpoint.

* ''Series/AmericanHorrorStory: After his freak show decide that they don't want to work for him anymore, Dandy Mott gets angry and decides that he will simply kill them all with his gun. However, a few of the freaks manage to escape his wrath, and they decide to punish him for killing their friends. After successfully drugging him, they trap Dandy inside a Harry Houdini box and decide to drown him...but not before Desiree gives him this speech.

* On TheSecretCircle after a few too many times of Faye pushing her buttons, Cassie lashes out at her.

** He gves Drake another one along with his girlfriend [[CuteBruiser Lucy]] after their fight shatters his chances of getting Mindy's parents approval.
-->'''Josh:''' You see what you do?! One night, one night, I ask you to help me and you ruin it!\\
-->'''Drake:''' Josh I-\\
-->'''Josh:''' I told you how important this was to me. I told you that this was my last chance to impress Mindy's parents! I spent like two days working on this dinner, and 300 bucks on a dumb harpist (turning to address her) '''who at this point should [[PunctuatedForEmphasis STOP. PLAYING!]]''' (the harpist stops) And I don't even care what you think of Mindy, 'cause she is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I can't date her because you wrecked it! Alright? You wrecked my dinner, you wrecked my $100 ice sculpture, and you wrecked my relationship!\\
-->'''Drake:''' (beat) [[ComicallyMissingThePoint You spent $100 on ice?]]\\

** "[[{{Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E03Afterimage}} Afterimage]]" features rogue Cardassian Garak delivering a cutting put-down to Ezri Dax concerning her perceived failure to live up to [[TheNthDoctor her predecessor's legacy]], ending with "Now, get out of here... before I say something unkind."

** Garak, nice guy that he supposedly was, was [[BewareTheNiceOnes without parallel]] when it came to dishing these out. He gives Ezri Dax an absolutely ''[[KickTheDog vicious]]'' one in "[[{{Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E03Afterimage}} Afterimage]]", which ironically [[RealitySubtext echoed many fan complaints]] about the character. It's so brutal that she immediately leaves his story and bursts into tears, and you can't help but blame her.
-->'''Garak:''' Spare me your insipid psychobabble. I'm not some quivering neurotic who feels sorry for himself because his daddy wasn't nice. You couldn't begin to understand me! I want someone to help me get back to work. And you, my dear, are not up to this task. I mean, look at you. You're pathetic – a confused child trying to live up to a legacy left by her predecessors. You're not worthy of the name "Dax." I knew Jadzia. She was vital, alive. She owned herself, and you... you don't even know who you are. How dare you presume to help me? You can't even help yourself. [[KickTheDog Now, get out of here before I say something unkind.]]

-->'''Harley:''' Of course I'm mad! I been practicing saying ''Geneva'' for weeks, And I even practiced saying "Steve," even though we all knew he never had a chance! You are the worst! You are rude, self-centered, obnoxious, rude Did I say "rude" twice? Yeah! That's because you're twice as rude as anyone I've ever met! I can't believe my mom and I wasted time pretending to be nice to you and your aunt so you guys would stop driving us nuts! Do you think she actually liked looking at Ms.
Peters' scrunched-up judgy face? Her words, not mine!

-->'''Gordon:''' I'm forty years of age, and I've gone to a lot of restaurants, but I've never, ever, ever, '''ever''' met someone I believe in as little as you. (''walks away'') [[SarcasmMode Good luck]].

** A rare case of a good one being delivered by someone who is ''not'' Ramsay occurs in the "Runaway Girl" episode of the UK series. [[OopNorth Richie]], the beleaguered head chef and the long-time best friend of [[KnowNothingKnowItAll Justin]], the restaurant owner, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIY_G2VqrXE unloads years of pent-up rage]] in an explosive, ClusterFBomb-laden rant after [[RageBreakingPoint Justin makes one lame and egotistical excuse too many]]. The event leaves even ''Gordon himself'' utterly slack-jawed and speechless as the chef gives him an apologetic pat on the arm and steps out--

-->'''Justin''': (''tries to cut him off'') When I--
-->'''Richie''': --when the damage has been done, we already look like a couple of fucking tits, yeah? You're already looking like a ''twat'', yeah? [[GenreSavvy This guy's too fucking clever for you]]. So ''shut your fucking mouth'', and ''fucking listen!''
-->'''Justin''': But I can't--

-->'''Justin''': Today--
-->'''Richie''': I ain't fucking staying here, Jus! (''Justin tries to protest'') CUT THE FUCKING CRAP, TO ''TURN THINGS ROUND!'' HE'S HERE TO TURN IT FUCKING ROUND! You can do it without me, or fucking ''with'' me. Cause I've had enough of this fucking charade. Cause I don't need this fucking shit, and I've got to stand next to ''him'' and show him ''fucking tubs of fucking shit!'' That's our fucking cooking! So fucking-- (''Justin cuts in again'') don't say ''nothing!''
-->'''Justin''': [[DiggingYourselfDeeper I'm saying to tell me where to go from here, Rich!]] Because what--

--> '''Lister:''' (''to Rimmer'') You're really mean with money. You're a tremendous physical coward. You once spent an afternoon on the Samaritans switchboard and [[NoodleIncident four people committed suicide!]] Your middle name is [[MeaningfulName Judas]], but you tell everyone that it's Jonathan. You sign all your official letters "Arnold Rimmer [=BSc=]", and the [=BSc=] stands for ''Bronze Swimming Certificate!'' You're a cheating, weasley, low-life ''scumbucket'', with all the charm and social grace of a pubic louse.

-->'''Wellesley''':...[[TheChessmaster Major Hogan]] reports a number of losses, Sir Henry. [[GeneralFailure He says you first lost your head, and, instead of destroying the bridge, you marched over it.]] [[DirtyCoward He says you then lost your nerve and ran from a small French patrol.]] He says you lost ten men, a major and two sergeants. He says you lost your sense of honour and destroyed the bridge, cutting off a rescue party led by Lieutenant Sharpe. Major Hogan leaves the worst to the last: He says you lost the King's Colours.

--->'''Shelby:''' All you know how to do is play it safe. I suppose that's why someone like you sits in the shadow of a great man for as long as you have, passing up one command after another.

--->'''Shelby:''' If you can't make the big decisions, Commander, I suggest you make room for someone who can.

** Quark gets in one on humanity, pointing out that while humans think they're better than the Ferengi, the Ferengi have no history of slavery or world war or other such pleasantries. Although, there is the matter of how they treat their women, so the validity of his statement is suspect.

** Sisko gets a good one on [[SinisterMinister then-Vedek Winn]] in "[[{{Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS01E20InTheHandsOfTheProphets}} In The Hands Of The Prophets]]". She's trying to raise a stink about Keiko O'Brien not teaching a religious interpretation of the wormhole, and denounces the Federation as, basically, godless heathens. Sisko responds by giving up the entire station as an example of how Bajorans do not feel that way, then tells her that, for all her hate-mongering, people will soon forget it ever happened and go on with their lives. Winn can't even form a good comeback other than "We'll see." The whole thing turned out to be a BatmanGambit to assassinate a political rival, of course, but Sisko still owned her.

** In "[[{{Recap/StarTrekDeepSpaceNineS07E16InterArmaEnimSilentLeges}} Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges]]", Bashir faces his old Section 31 nemesis Sloan again. After the complicated plot unfolds and Bashir realizes that he's been an UnwittingPawn, he is visited by Sloan at the end of the episode. Sloan hints at his own problems, but also says how they work to counteract Bashir's.
--->"The Federation needs men like you, Doctor - men with conscience, men who can sleep at night. And you're also the reason that Section 31 exists: to protect men like you from a universe which doesn't share your sense of right and wrong."

--->'''Ezri:''' I tend to look at the Empire with a little more skepticism than Curzon or Jadzia did. I see a society that is in deep denial about itself. We're talking about a warrior culture that prides itself on maintaining centuries-old traditions of honor and integrity. But in reality, it's willing to accept corruption at the highest levels.\\

'''Ezri:''' Am I? Who was the last leader of the High Council that you respected? Has there even been one? And how many times have you had to cover up the crimes of Klingon leaders because you were told that it was for the good of the Empire? I... I know this sounds harsh, but the truth is, you have been willing to accept a government that you know is corrupt. Gowron is just the latest example. Worf, you are the most honorable and decent man that I've ever met. And if *you're* willing to tolerate men like Gowron, then what hope is there for the Empire?

-->'''Legate Kell''' Dukat, if you are seeing this recording, it means you tried to abandon your post while the station's self-destruct sequence was engaged. That will not be permitted. ... You have lost control of Terok Nor, disgracing yourself and Cardassia. Your attempt to escape is no doubt a final act of cowardice. All fail-safes have been eliminated, your personal access codes have been rescinded. The destruct sequence can no longer be halted. All you can do now is contemplate the depth of your disgrace... and try to die like a Cardassian.

-->'''Penny''':I know you think you’re some sort of smooth-talking ladies’ man, but the truth is, you are just pathetic and creepy.
-->'''Howard''': Um, so what are you saying?
-->'''Penny''': I am saying it is not a compliment to call me doable. It’s not sexy to stare at my ass and say, “Ooh, it must be jelly ’cause jam don’t shake like that.” And most important, we are not dancing a tango, we’re not to’ing and fro’ing. Nothing is ever going to happen between us. Ever.
-->'''Howard''': Wait a minute. This isn’t flirting, you’re serious.
-->'''Penny''': Flirting? You think I’m flirting with you? I am not flirting with you, no woman is ever gonna flirt with you, you’re just gonna grow old and die alone.

-->'''Sheldon:''' Where's the ring?!
-->'''Leonard:''' It's in a [=FedEx=] box on its way back to where it came from.
-->'''Raj:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint The fires of Mount Doom?]]
-->'''Leonard:''' Peter Jackson’s office in New Zealand. It wasn’t ours.
-->'''Howard:''' You quit the game! You had no right to take it.
-->'''Leonard:''' I came in here, you guys were all sleeping. The ring was on the floor. No one was touching it.
-->'''Raj:''' Well, so then we start the game over until there’s a winner.
-->'''Leonard:''' There wasn’t ever going to be a winner! There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring and three people who used to be his friends! Is that really what you guys want?! ‘Cause if it is, fine, I don’t want anything to do with you! [[BrickJoke And I don’t know what happened in that bathroom, but I am]] '''[[BrickJoke not]]''' [[BrickJoke cleaning it up!]]

* In ''Series/WKRPInCincinnati'' Andy is about to drunkenly say one to Mrs. Carlson, which could have gotten him fired. Fortunately, he was so plastered, he fainted before he could even start.

-->''Arthur:''' "Andy..."

** Catherine is on the receiving end of a ''brutal'' one from Leo Finley at the end of "A Thousand Days on Earth". After confronting her, he explains how thoroughly she ruined his life (publicizing his arrest for accidental indecent exposure in the course of her investigation, causing him to not only lose both his job and his girlfriend, but also tagging him with suspicion of a child murder he was innocent of.), screams at her for [[NeverMyFault not caring about what she's done]] and [[JustShootHim simply trying to shoot him]] instead of attempting to at least reason with him first, then concludes by telling her in a [[TranquilFury chillingly calm tone]] that he's thinking about killing himself and how it'll be her fault if he does go through with it.

** Cliff gives one to Theo upon being told he should accept him regardless of his bad grades in school.

** Claire delivers a scathing one to Vanessa after she attempted to sneak off to Baltimore to see a concert and everything that could've gone wrong, did. Once she was back home, Cliff mostly sat on the sidelines and watched. [[https://youtu.be/qfF28fMTxQ4 The whole thing can be seen here]].
--> '''Clair:''' ''(Entering the house)'' You bring yourself in this house right now! ''(Vanessa comes in the house)'' And if you think of that 30-minute ride was something, believe me we've only just begun! ''(She shuts the door on Cliff, who comes in the house. Rudy sneaks down from upstairs to watch)'' Here we are thinking that you're lying in the floor of some burning building, dying of asphyxia, and you're down in Baltimore, having BIG FUN! Weren't you, Vanessa? Isn't that where you were? Didn't you go down there to Baltimore to have big fun, Vanessa? Tell me, didn't you go for big fun?\\
'''Vanessa:''' Mom…\\
'''Clair:''' [[BigShutUp SHUT UP!!!]] Don't you dare open your mouth when I'm asking you a question! ''(To Rudy)'' RUDY GO TO BED! ''(Rudy rushes back upstairs)'' I only hope that you can have this same experience Vanessa, I hope that one day you come to realize exactly how it feels to think that your child's life is in danger. You have taken us from levels of frenzy, panic, distress, and now that we know that you're okay... rage! That's where we are right now Vanessa we are in rage because we know that you have been to Baltimore, Maryland with The Wretched to have big fun, big fun. Isn't that what you had Vanessa, didn't you had big fun? Well let's see now you had doughnuts. Had doughnuts in Wilmington, Delaware! Cliff tell me, have you ever been to Wilmington for Doughnuts?\\
'''Cliff:''' Not on the weekend.\\
'''Clair:''' There she is sittin' up at local doughnut shop in Wilmington, Delaware, sipping hot chocolate, and eating crumbs, and the car gets stolen. Now a normal individual with half a gnat's brain would've said "I'm going home now." but you ''(Laughs)'' oh, no not you, you and your three friends put yourselves on the bus and go joyridin' off to Baltimore, all the way to BALTIMORE!\\
'''Cliff:''' What were you thinking?\\
'''Vanessa:''' I wasn't thinking.\\
'''Cliff:''' You got that right.\\
'''Clair:''' Did you really think that the four of you could go off careening into the night, and not one single parent would find out about it, Did you really think that Vanessa?!\\
'''Vanessa:''' Mom…\\
'''Clair:''' SHUT UP! Because I know what was going on! You were off being wild and free with The Wretched, and singing the Wretched song! Now I know you told me about it in the car Vanessa, but just for the record one more time, how did it come to pass that you did NOT get into the concert with the Wretched and the big fun? ''(Pause)'' YOU BETTER ANSWER ME WHEN I ASK YOU A QUESTION, GIRL!\\
'''Vanessa:''' We gave our tickets to a man who said he was with the band! And he wasn't and he stole them. Someone stole Janet's wallet. We ran away and we bumped into this guy Freddy Scurry a friend of Janet's brother and he gave us bus fare.\\
'''Clair:''' You were lucky you have found someone to look at your little sorry selves and take pity on you.\\
'''Vanessa:''' Mom, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!!! It'll never happen again. Can I please just have my punishment?\\
'''Clair:''' Vanessa please, your father and I've been through much too much this evening to be sittin' up here thinking about a punishment for you right now.\\
'''Vanessa:''' But I like my punishment before I go to bed. ''(Clair lunges at Vanessa but Cliff holds her back)''\\
'''Cliff:''' Do yourself a favor and go to bed. Okay? And do me another favor please, if you're thinking about running away from home please don't take my car.\\
'''Clair:''' And there's just one more thing Vanessa I have to say to you, you have prove to us that you cannot be trusted. It's gonna be a very long time before we even think of trusting you again.\\

--> ''Hawkeye receives SEVERAL in return, the first, from Father Mulcahy...''

--> ''the second is fro Col. Potter with unwanted assistance from Margaret.''
--> '''Col. Potter:''' What the hell is the matter with you?! Are you nuts? I think you are! I no sooner give you a lecture on one patient, and you go in, and try to destroy another! Maybe we should aim you at the Chinese!

--> ''Hawkeye leaves to talk to Radar while Margaret is disappointed she didn't get to say more. Hawkeye gets his third and harshest, almost violent one, from Radar himself.''

-->'''Dan:''' I'd just like to say that you are fully within your legal rights, sir and also ''THAT WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!'' (pause) And I only ''wish you knew'' who it was saying this to you....