History Tearjerker / JakeAndAmir

-->'''Amir:''' ''(high-pitched voice, crying)'' This'll be the last time! This'll be the last time! Jake, this'll be the last time-

-->'''Amir:''' ''(voice breaking)'' -You know what? What if I don't do the high-pitched voice anymore? Then will you stay?

-->'''Jake:''' -"This'll be the last time," I got it. No. Amir, buddy, I gotta go.

-->'''Amir:''' -I'll go talk to Ricky! You don't have to sit across from me anymore, I know you hate that!

--->'''Jake:''' I feel bad as a person that I want so badly for you to be dead and gone, but I-

-->'''Jake:''' Come on, man-

-->'''Jake:''' I'm trying ''really'' hard-

-->'''Amir:''' Patrick, you FUCKED me on this! No I didn't. Any retard would have stopped reading this by now. You're still reading. This is insane-PATRICK, STOP! I'm still reading this, like an idiot. I'm the biggest idiot in the wor-PATRICK, STOP IT! Jake will never be friends with me. Jake will never like me. ''Jake will never like me!''

--> "Thanks for everything. Uh, I know I've been a diva roach, and, uh, while I respect the shit out of you, I rarely show it. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't-[[OnlyFriend I don't have a single friend]], and my family life is, um... not. [[MeaningfulEcho You are the one bright spot in my otherwise dismal life]], and even though you get short-tempered with me, I know that at the end of the day, you have my back. I just want to say thank you for that. I appreciate you."

-->'''Amir:''' Of course! And you can't give me a ride home because-

-->'''Amir:''' -[[SelectiveObliviousness my guitar won't fit]]. Exactly right.

--->'''Jake:''' I feel bad as a person that I want so badly for you to be dead and gone, but I—

-->'''Amir:''' ''(voice breaking)'' —You know what? What if I don't do the high-pitched voice anymore? Then will you stay?

-->'''Amir:''' ''(high-pitched voice, crying)'' This'll be the last time! This'll be the last time! Jake, this'll be the last time—
-->'''Jake:''' —"This'll be the last time," I got it. No. Amir, buddy, I gotta go.

-->'''Jake:''' Come on, man—
-->'''Amir:''' —I'll go talk to Ricky! You don't have to sit across from me anymore, I know you hate that!

-->'''Jake:''' I'm trying ''really'' hard—

-->'''Amir:''' Patrick, you FUCKED me on this! No I didn't. Any retard would have stopped reading this by now. You're still reading. This is insane—PATRICK, STOP! I'm still reading this, like an idiot. I'm the biggest idiot in the wor—PATRICK, STOP IT! Jake will never be friends with me. Jake will never like me. ''Jake will never like me!''

--> "Thanks for everything. Uh, I know I've been a diva roach, and, uh, while I respect the shit out of you, I rarely show it. I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't—[[OnlyFriend I don't have a single friend]], and my family life is, um... not. [[MeaningfulEcho You are the one bright spot in my otherwise dismal life]], and even though you get short-tempered with me, I know that at the end of the day, you have my back. I just want to say thank you for that. I appreciate you."

-->'''Amir:''' Of course! And you can't give me a ride home because—

-->'''Amir:''' —[[SelectiveObliviousness my guitar won't fit]]. Exactly right.

* "Dog" details how Amir adopted an already-vicious rottweiler, Rotem ("I said, 'Look, no one's gonna love you. Including me'") and kept her in his basement for two or three weeks subjecting her to brutal BehavioralConditioning to teach her to hate the sight of other dogs ("[[KickTheDog punching her in the throat, kicking her in the schnozzle]]"), apparently just so he could unleash her on his coworkers at Bring Your Dog To Work Day. It's separated from standard BlackComedyAnimalCruelty in that Jake is really affected by it:

-->'''Jake:''' Come on, man.

-->'''Amir:''' You don't have to sit across from me anymore. I'll go talk to Ricky! You don't have to sit across from me anymore, I know you hate that!

** In case you thought he was bluffing, there's "Standing Desk":

** By the same token, "Standing Desk":

-->'''Amir:''' That's, like, a lot of times you've asked me to die.
-->'''Jake:''' I know, and I mean it every time.
-->'''Amir:''' It's so...sad.
-->'''Jake:''' Trust me, I know.
-->'''Amir:''' It's sad to me that you want me dead.
-->'''Jake:''' I feel bad as a person that I want so badly for you to be dead and gone, but I—
-->'''Amir:''' Yeah. You're not even hiding it anymore.
-->'''Jake:''' No, I think I'm just gonna be open with it.

-->'''Amir:''' It's so... sad.

-->'''Amir:''' Patrick, you FUCKED me on this! No I didn't. Any retard would have stopped reading this by now. You're still reading. This is insane—PATRICK, STOP! I'm still reading this, like an idiot. I'm the biggest idiot in the wor—PATRICK, STOP IT! Jake will never be friends with me. Jake will never like me. JAKE WILL NEVER LIKE ME!

* Amir's visible breakdown in "Movie Debate" when, even after Jake figures out that Pat has been using instant messages to feed him a "normal" conversation, [[RepeatAfterMe he still can't bring himself to stop reading the messages out loud]] and a disgruntled Pat won't stop writing them. It only stops when [[PetTheDog Jake himself intervenes]].

* Amir's visible breakdown in "Movie Debate" when, after Jake figures out that Pat has been using instant messages to feed him a "normal" conversation, [[RepeatAfterMe he still can't bring himself to stop reading the messages out loud]] and a disgruntled Pat won't stop writing them. It only stops when [[PetTheDog Jake himself intervenes]].
-->'''Amir:''' Patrick, you FUCKED me on this! No I didn't. Any retard would have stopped reading this by now. You're still reading. This is insane. PATRICK, STOP! I'm still reading this, like an idiot. I'm the biggest idiot in the wor—PATRICK, STOP IT! Jake will never be friends with me. Jake will never like me. JAKE WILL NEVER LIKE ME!

* Amir's visible breakdown in "Movie Debate" when, after Jake figures out that Pat has been using instant messages to feed him a "normal" conversation, [[RepeatAfterMe he still can't bring himself to stop reading the messages out loud]] and a disgruntled Pat won't stop writing them. It only stops when [[PetTheDog Jake tells Pat to stop]].

* Both office moves (from the "old" New York office to the new one in "Moving Part 2" and from there to the LA office in "Last Day") are emphasized by a [[LeaveTheCameraRunning last lingering shot]] of Jake's and Amir's empty desks.

* Both office moves (from the "old" New York office to the new one in "Moving Part 2" and from there to the LA office in "Last Day") are emphasized by a [[KeepTheCameraRunning last lingering shot]] of Jake's and Amir's empty desks.