History SoYouWantTo / WriteASexScene

Sex scenes have to deal with law in a way that most other fiction doesn't. Specifically, there are laws governing the depiction of sexual congress. The quick rule of thumb is that the folks in the fiction need to be above the "[[https://www.ageofconsent.net/ age of consent]]" for RealLife, non-fiction folks--IE, they are legally permitted to consent to sexual activity and are no longer subject to the JailBaitWait. And that's where it starts getting complicated, because basically every government on the planet has set its own limit on the wait. All 50 states in America have set them individually; most have set it at 16, but a few have also chosen 17 and 18. The place that set it the highest, Bahrain, put it at 21; Nigeria set it at 18. And here's the thing: if your story is to be legally consumable in any given place, it needs to comply with ''that place's'' laws. So, while your story might ''take place'' in, say, Washington State, where the age of consent is 16, it can't be legally consumed in California, where it's 18, unless it would be legal if it ''were'' taking place in California. (This is actually one of the justifications for HollywoodProvincialism when it comes to explicit content.) The question you'll get sued over is not, "Is it legal for your characters to do it;" the question is, "Is it legal for your consumers to ''imitate'' it."

As a major consideration, one we've already started to consider: what does the sex ''mean'' to the two people having it? The simple fact is that most people don't have sex just to have sex, or just to have an orgasm; ADateWithRosiePalms fulfills that function with a great deal less mess and effort. Additionally, the simple fact is that sex is fairly straightforward. How many ways are there to put a penis in a vagina? When you get down to it, only one. So the reason you want to ask what the sex ''means'', to ask ''why'' the two people are having it, is because ''this is the only thing that makes the sex scene interesting to The Reader.'' (Obviously, it may be different if you're working in a visual medium, since you can depict the sex much more, well, graphically than you could describe it; but that's another matter.) People have sex; Administrivia/PeopleSitOnChairs too. Why does the story need to include it? If you can't answer this question from a {{Watsonian}} perspective, then the answer is, "The story ''doesn't'' need to include it," and you should consider saving everyone some time.

Try also to avoid including too much AuthorAppeal. Sex, of course, is heavily tied up with fetishes and kinks, and authors are no different than anyone else in that they have certain tastes and fancies as well; it can be easy and helpful to throw in a little bit of what appeals to you personally. After all, if something turns you on, then you're going to be able to write it convincingly; just don't assume everyone else is going to be as enthusiastic about it as you are. However, be careful. If there's a sense that you're providing TooMuchInformation about what personally turns you on, or were writing the sex scene with one hand while the other was ... [[ADateWithRosiePalms occupied]], shall we say, then this can make things a bit creepy and uncomfortable for your reader. If the sex scene is too prurient, it can be off-putting to the reader. If you ''must'' include AuthorAppeal, however, then try to avoid justifying it with IJustWriteTheThing -- yet again, no one's going to be convinced. If you're going to include your kinks, stand by them.

One thing beginning {{lemon}} authors often get wrong is going for too much detail. They want a character's sexual attractiveness to be beyond question, and so they go into long-winded, sometimes tedious description: the exact shade of her golden hair, the precise shape of her clear blue eyes, the levels of her tan as measured in paint swatches from Sherwin-Williams, her specific measurements to the centimeter--70.4-double-D, obviously, because BuxomIsBetter. Sounds good... except to those readers who prefer RavenHairIvorySkin and PetitePride. (And, considering how much people seem to love the AsianHookerStereotype, there may be quite a lot of them.) "But then what do I do?" the Beginning Lemon Author laments. "I can't have someone with ''both'' blonde and dark hair!, or with one big boob and one small one! How do I play this game if I can't win?"

And here's where things really get fun: your characters, the ones who are getting it on. (...You ''do'' have genuine {{Rounded Character}}s here, right?) What are the stereotypes that you have led your readers to assume about them? And how can you subvert, zig-zag or even avert them? A woman CEO is presumably dominant in bed, so the obvious subversion is for her to be submissive and tender; what kind of third option can you take? A man who is brash and arrogant would presumably be concerned solely with his own pleasure, so the logical counter-tack is for him to be tender and selfless; what's the subversion? And let's also drag culture into it, since it ''is'' germane to the topic: in Latin American countries, men are expected to show bravado and aggressiveness, but ''also'' to be [[LatinLover passionate, sensitive lovers]]; this is different north of the equator. Context matters when it comes to behavior, so always be aware of what the people around your character expects of him or her, and question whether you're pegging those expectations correctly. Even in America today, sexual mores are changing, and what was true yesterday might be false, or at least deprecated, today.

Attempt not to perpetrate any such {{Critical Research Failure}}s in your story.

* "'''SelfAbuse''': masturbation, particularly male masturbation, has harmful physical side effects." No it doesn't. It does not result in hair growing on the palms, blindness, shortness of stature, or being turned into a pillar of salt. In fact, it may have positive benefits in lowering the odds of testicular cancer. (The one exception isn't covered by the trope.[[note]]The phenomenon is called "death grip," in which one has become so accustomed to masturbation that one must up the aggressiveness of one's technique. This can lead to problems with later intercourse: a vagina doesn't feel like a hand, [[CaptainObvious since it isn't one]], and can have trouble matching intense manual stimulation. The person whose penis has been de-sensitized in this way is described as having "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip_syndrome Death-grip_syndrome]]," as it's called on Website/TheOtherWiki.[[/note]])
* "'''ReallyGetsAround''': a woman's private area becomes worn out from overuse, particularly if with a wide variety of partners." In reality, there's not much that impacts a vagina: even ''childbirth'' is not guaranteed to have long-term side effects. Besides, this idea fails any sort of logical scrutiny. Let's say we're dropping into a RomanticComedy which stars two 25-year-old women. In the role of SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan is Alexis, the female lead; she has never been in a romance but has had five one-night stands with five different men -- the entirety of her sex life. Her BestFriend Bryce is a member of the film's BetaCouple; Bryce wed her {{High School Sweetheart|s}} at 18 and has, in the 7 years since, had sex 500 times with the fellow. If the "worn out" theory is true, which of our characters is going to qualify more?, the one who has had sex five times or the one who has sex ''five hundred'' times? Because the theory insists that it's the former.
* "'''InTouchWithHisFeminineSide''': sexual acts are defined by power and dominance. The person who penetrates is inherently masculine; the person who receives is actively feminine. ''Even if they are doing these things with each other.''" It's hard to communicate the loudness of an eye-roll through a wiki, but no: [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer this is what some people actually believe]]. Completely aside from the InsaneTrollLogic, this raises the possibility -- nay, the ''requirement'' -- that, since the {{uke}} is made gay by the act of being the receiving partner, the {{seme}} is made ''straight'' by virtue of being the penetrating partner. [[InsaneTrollLogic Yes, the act of having sex with a man quite obviously proves that you want to have sex with a woman.]]

Again, sex can get ... adventurous. But. as previously mentioned, a lot of people ''don't'' get adventurous; they find a routine and stick with it. There's a small core of sexual interactions that are branded "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanilla_sex vanilla sex]]" (link to Wiki/TheOtherWiki), a derogatory reference to how boring vanilla ice cream is (perceived to be). But it should be pointed out that vanilla is, and almost always has been, ''the'' most popular ice cream flavor in the world, outselling the second-place flavor (chocolate) by ''five to two''. Conversely, while we don't have exact data on sales of Smoked Paprika & Chili-Beef flavored ice cream, we feel confident asserting that for most people it is, at best, an acquired taste. Variety may be the spice of life, but consistency is its meat and potatoes.

* "'''SelfAbuse''': masturbation, particularly male masturbation, has harmful physical side effects." No it doesn't. It does not result in hair growing on the palms, blindness, shortness of stature, or being turned into a pillar of salt. In fact, it may have positive benefits in lowering the odds of testicular cancer. (The one exception isn't covered by the trope.[[note]]The phenomenon is called "death grip," in which one has become so accustomed to masturbation that one must up the aggressiveness of one's technique. This can lead to problems with later intercourse: a vagina doesn't feel like a hand, [[CaptainObvious since it isn't one]], and can have trouble matching intense manual stimulation. The person whose penis has been de-sensitized in this way is described as having "[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip_syndrome Death-grip_syndrome]]," as it's called on Wiki/TheOtherWiki.[[/note]])

The depiction focuses not on what they're doing, but rather how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing. It's the culmination of two people falling head-over-heels for each other, and -- via GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex -- confirms that there is something very genuine between Eddie and Odetta. We know what it ''means'' to them. Even better, it goes the ''opposite'' of IKEAErotica by turning the whole session into a NoodleIncident. What makes sex "so sweet, so full" for you? Whatever it is, your brain just supplied it. King doesn't bother convincing you that Eddie and Odetta had the hottest sex ever: he ''lets you convince yourself'', simply by letting you fill in your own details. ShowDontTell is a good rule, but King, like many writers, knows when to turn it around for the occasions when Telling is even better than Showing.

There are, however, exceptions. The big one is when you're actually writing porn. Under those circumstances, you ''do'' want lots of nitty-gritty details: all five senses, and some varied sentence structure to keep from getting repetitive. Sex is a celebration of physicality, so there should be emphasis on the things that are physically happening. Administrivia/FiveP being what it is, that's all we'll say on the matter; the rest will require you to do your own research. But doing it should be easy, because TheInternetIsForPorn. (Seriously, if you can't find some examples of porn for yourself, you have much larger problems than your current lack of sex-writing skills. Even better, almost any NSFW-story site worth its salt will have its own "So You Want To" section where you can get very detailed and specific advice.)

'''''THIS SECTION DELIBERATELY LEFT BLANK OUT OF RESPECT FOR Administrivia/FiveP.'''''

You should have a working knowledge of anatomy. AnatomicallyImpossibleSex is another good way of making yourself look ridiculous or like you don't know what you're talking about. There are some good tips on that page, as well as on "CommonHollywoodSexTraits," but it's only a start. Even worse, the research you need to do probably [[Administrivia/TheContentPolicyAndThe5PCircuit cannot be done on TVTropes.]] Fortunately, there's a whole Internet out there, most of which is [[TheInternetIsForPorn for porn]]. And there's always actual advice columnists, like Creator/DanSavage, WebVideo/LaciGreen and Dr. Lindsay Doe's [[https://www.youtube.com/user/sexplanations/ Sexplanations]], to help out.

* '''SexSells''': This is the second most-traditional attitude towards sex. It is a ([[RuleAbidingRebel pseudo]]) counter-cultural reaction to the oppressive attitudes of the "Sex Is Evil" crowd, declaring that sex is the answer to all your problems, and people who have it are awesome. This attitude tends to ''[[IdealizedSex Idealize Sex]]'', glossing over its bumpy parts, playing up CommonHollywoodSexTraits, and often stripping it of consequences (STDImmunity, nobody ever gets unintentionally pregnant, etc). The anthropological perspective on ''this'' attitude is that (most) people can get real sex -- awkward, repetitive, unglamorous -- with relative ease; the product will sell better if it offers something the consumer ''doesn't'' have easy access to.

The other reason this is important is so that you know what you're getting into: no matter ''how'' you depict sex, ''someone is going to be offended.'' If you portray it as something positive and enjoyable, the MoralGuardians get on your case. If you ''don't'' portray it as something positive and enjoyable, the {{Soapbox Sadie}}s get on your case. And if you TakeAThirdOption and tell the truth?--that sex is enjoyable but not idealized, consequential but not a guaranteed act of JumpingOffTheSlipperySlope? Then ''[[HeadsIWinTailsYouLose both sides attack you]]!'' If a writer's first duty is to the truth -- and it is -- then sex is a ''very'' dangerous ground for any writer to play in, because the mere act of ''telling'' the truth is going to be treated as transgressive and destructive.

Of course, hunting down the right terms can be difficult, because the slang wasn't necessarily documented. At that point, it's kind of up to you. In the ''Literature/EarthsChildren'' series, Jean Auel just talks around it--there's one euphemism, "manhood," but that's it, and that's impressive considering the series is basically Stone Age erotica. Creator/GeorgeRRMartin, writing ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'', traced the etymologies of several terms, discovered they descended from Middle English, and said, "Screw it: it might be an AnachronismStew, but at least they're from the same ''era''." [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metonymy Metonymy]], the business of using part of a thing to stand for the whole of the thing, can be useful; even today, some men refer to women as [[CountryMatters the C-word]], and most of us would in turn refer to those men as [[BiggusDickus pricks]]. The closer to today you get, the more freedom you have... at least in English-speaking languages. Let's not even ''talk'' about what things were called in Sanskrit, or Farsi, or Latin. You get caught between a rock and a hard place: if you use the wrong terms, audiences will yell, and if you use nothing at all, audiences will yell. Good luck!

Be aware of the setting of your story, the place-and-time it's set in. Throughout the ages, there have been a vast vocabulary of slang terminology concerning sex; throughout the ages, people have used various terms to describe man-parts, lady-parts and the act of sticking 'em together. ''Make sure you're using the right terms.'' Having a knight and his lady suddenly pepper YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe with modern (or modern-sounding) vernacular will break WillingSuspensionOfDisbelief--not to mention, provide you a one-way ticket to the Bad Sex In Fiction awards.[[note]]"Forsooth! Thou and thine ''bald-headed yogurt slinger'' doth bringeth such pleasure to my vajayjay!"[[/note]] RealityIsUnrealistic here too; even terms that ''were'' in use at the time can cause a double-take. Just ask any ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'' reader how they reacted the first time a KnightInShiningArmor dropped a PrecisionFStrike.

* "'''ReallyGetsAround''': a woman's private area becomes worn out from overuse, particularly if with a wide variety of partners." In reality, there's not much that impacts a vagina: even ''childbirth'' is not guaranteed to have physiological effects. Besides, this idea fails any sort of logical scrutiny. Let's say we're dropping into a RomanticComedy which stars two 25-year-old women. In the role of SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan is Alexis, the female lead; she has never been in a romance but has had five one-night stands -- the entirety of her sex life. Her BestFriend Bryce is a member of the film's BetaCouple; Bryce wed her {{High School Sweetheart|s}} at 18 and has, in the 7 years since, had sex 500 times with the fellow. If the "worn out" theory even ''is'' true (which it isn't), which of our characters is going to qualify more?, the one who has had sex five times or the one who has sex ''five hundred'' times? Because the theory insists that it's the former.
* "'''InTouchWithHisFeminineSide''': sexual acts are defined by power and dominance. The person who penetrates is inherently masculine; the person who receives is actively feminine. ''Even if they are doing these things with each other.''" It's hard to communicate the loudness of an eye-roll through a wiki, but no: [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer this is what some people actually believe]]. Completely aside from the InsaneTrollLogic, this raises the possibility -- nay, the ''requirement'' -- that, since the {{uke}} is made gay by the act of receiving a penis during anal sex, the {{seme}} is made ''straight'' by virtue of putting his penis inside a man.

* '''SexIsEvil''': This is the most traditional attitude towards sex and is typically seen (in levels that vary from {{downplayed}} to {{exaggerated}}) in many religions. Typically, sex -- due to its role in the perpetuation of the species -- is seen as a necessary evil, one which people are begrudgingly allowed to indulge in under certain very specific circumstances (specifically, a lawful marriage). The anthropological perspective on this attitude is that it too was a necessary evil: sex can encourage people to make [[LoveMakesYouStupid poor decisions]], resulting in [[TheUnfavorite unwanted children]] belonging to {{Struggling Single Mother}}s whom the community has to support; restrictions on sex were therefore a way to force individual to consider TheNeedsOfTheMany. (And that's before we consider [=STDs=].)

The reason this is important is so that you know what you're getting into: ''neither depiction is accurate''. People can -- and do -- have sex out of wedlock, especially today with the rise of reliable contraception. And people don't -- and, often, can't -- have the kind of guassian-glow sex portrayed by other, more "sex-positive" works. There are many, many depictions of sex in the world, and the vast majority of them are biased in one way or another.

The other reason this is important is so that you know what you're getting into: no matter ''how'' you depict sex, ''someone is going to be offended.'' If you portray it as something positive and enjoyable, the MoralGuardians get on your case. If you ''don't'' portray it as something positive and enjoyable, the sex-positive crowd gets on your case. And if you TakeAThirdOption and tell the truth?--that sex is enjoyable but not idealized, consequential but not a guaranteed act of JumpingOffTheSlipperySlope? Then ''[[HeadsIWinTailsYouLose both sides attack you]]!'' If a writer's first duty is to the truth, then sex is a ''very'' dangerous ground for any writer to play in, because the mere act of ''telling'' the truth is likely to garner criticism.

You will need to devote some time into deciding ''how'' the participants came to ''be'' participating. Why do they want to have sex with each other? It's true that [[{{Asexuality}} almost]] everyone has a sex drive that makes them want to bump uglies; the libido is built into all living creatures. This explains why the characters want to have sex. It does not explain why they want to have sex with ''each other''. Most people are selective about their sex partners, applying various criteria relating to physical appearance and/or personality and only engaging sexually with those who have passed a minimum number of satisfactory qualities. Presumably, your characters did the same, and emerged with "chemistry"--in which it is shown that Alex is attracted to [trait], that Bryce has it, and that Alex responds positively upon discovering this; and then vice versa in reciprocating. The characters should ''desire'' each other, in other words, emotionally and/or physically.

Anyone who has an interest in sex -- in other words, most human beings, though [[{{Asexuality}} there are exceptions]]. We're a bit superficial as a species, however, so in general your characters should meet certain standards of beauty and attractiveness, unless you're really determined to challenge dominant cultural mores about sexuality and beauty (or, alternatively, you ''really'' want to gross people out).

You may find [[http://ninadaleo.com/2012/11/27/author-kylie-scott-tells-us-how-to-not-write-sex-in-ten-simple-steps/ Kylie Scott's list of what to do (or not to do)]] helpful.

* "'''SelfAbuse''': masturbation, particularly male masturbation, has harmful physical side effects." No it doesn't. It does not result in hair growing on the palms, blindness, or being turned into a pillar of salt. In fact, it may have positive benefits in lowering the odds of testicular cancer. (The one exception isn't covered by the trope.[[note]]The phenomenon is called "death grip," in which one has become so accustomed to masturbation that one must up the aggressiveness of one's technique. This can lead to problems with later intercourse: a vagina doesn't feel like a hand, [[CaptainObvious since it isn't one]], and can have trouble matching intense manual stimulation. The person whose penis has been de-sensitized in this way is described as having "death grip."[[/note]])
* "'''ReallyGetsAround''': a woman's private area becomes worn out from overuse, particularly if with a wide variety of partners." No it doesn't. There's not much that impacts a vagina: even ''childbirth'' is not guaranteed to have physiological effects. Besides, this idea fails any sort of logical scrutiny. It suggests that a woman who wed her {{High School Sweetheart|s}} at 18 and has, since then, had sex (say) 500 times with him, is ''less'' "worn out" than her best friend of the same age who has had sex five times ''ever'', just with a different man each time.

* "'''BiggusDickus''': the larger a man is, the better sex will be." Nope. Check out BigPrickBigProblems for the inverse, which is just as likely -- especially since people may also fall prey to the ''other'' belief about the Biggus Dickus, which is that penile stimulation of the vagina, not clitoral stimulation, is the primary source of female sexual pleasure, and thus fail to do the necessary preparations.[[note]]To explain ''this'' one, just contemplate a bit of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homology_(biology) homology]]. Up until they are about 6 weeks old, male and female embryos are physiologically identical. Then hormones kick in, and a little structure in between the legs becomes the penis on a boy and the clitoris on a girl. Meanwhile, a separate structure becomes the girl's labia, which enclose the vaginal entrance, and the boy's... scrotum. Being sexually penetrated is the equivalent of having someone's penis somewhere around your ballsack. Explain this to a man and he will ''instantly'' understand how and why intercourse does not stimulate the clitoris.[[/note]]

Attempt not to perpetrate these in your story. These {{Critical Research Failure}}s make you look like a complete fool. Because you are.

* "'''InTouchWithHisFeminineSide''': sexual acts are defined by power and dominance. If a man is in a sexually submissive position, he ''must'' be gay; a woman in a sexually active position must be a lesbian. ''Even if they are doing these things with each other.''" It's hard to communicate the loudness of an eye-roll through a wiki, but no: [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer this is what some people actually believe]]. Completely aside from the InsaneTrollLogic, this raises the possibility -- nay, the ''requirement'' -- that, since the {{uke}} is gay by virtue of his feminine behavior, the {{seme}} ''must be straight'' by virtue of his masculine behavior.

!!Old Wives' Tales
Because many cultures prefer not to provide concrete, scientific information about sex, a lot of rumors and superstitions can emerge around the topic.
* "'''SelfAbuse''': masturbation, particularly male masturbation, has harmful physical side effects." No it doesn't. It does not result in hair growing on the palms, blindness, or being turned into a pillar of salt. In fact, it may have positive benefits in lowering the odds of testicular cancer. (The one exception isn't covered by the trope.[[note]]The phenomenon is called "death grip," in which one has become so accustomed to masturbation that one must up the aggressiveness of one's technique. This can lead to problems with later intercourse: a vagina doesn't feel like a hand, [[CaptainObvious since it isn't one]], and can have trouble matching intense manual stimulation. The person whose penis has been de-sensitized in this way is described as having "death grip."[[/note]])
* "'''ReallyGetsAround''': a woman's private area becomes worn out from overuse, particularly if with a wide variety of partners." No it doesn't. There's not much that impacts a vagina: even ''childbirth'' is not guaranteed to have physiological effects. Besides, this idea fails any sort of logical scrutiny. It suggests that a woman who wed her {{High School Sweetheart|s}} at 18 and has, since then, had sex (say) 500 times with him, is ''less'' "worn out" than her best friend of the same age who has had sex five times ''ever'', just with a different man each time.
* "'''InTouchWithHisFeminineSide''': sexual acts are defined by power and dominance. If a man is in a sexually submissive position, he ''must'' be gay; a woman in a sexually active position must be a lesbian. ''Even if they are doing these things with each other.''" It's hard to communicate the loudness of an eye-roll through a wiki, but no: [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer this is what some people actually believe]]. Completely aside from the InsaneTrollLogic, this raises the possibility -- nay, the ''requirement'' -- that, since the {{uke}} is gay by virtue of his feminine behavior, the {{seme}} ''must be straight'' by virtue of his masculine behavior.
* "'''BiggusDickus''': the larger a man is, the better sex will be." Nope. Check out BigPrickBigProblems for the inverse, which is just as likely -- especially since people may also fall prey to the ''other'' belief about the Biggus Dickus, which is that penile stimulation of the vagina, not clitoral stimulation, is the primary source of female sexual pleasure, and thus fail to do the necessary preparations.[[note]]To explain ''this'' one, just contemplate a bit of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homology_(biology) homology]]. Up until they are about 6 weeks old, male and female embryos are physiologically identical. Then hormones kick in, and a little structure in between the legs becomes the penis on a boy and the clitoris on a girl. Meanwhile, a separate structure becomes the girl's labia, which enclose the vaginal entrance, and the boy's... scrotum. Being sexually penetrated is the equivalent of having someone's penis somewhere around your ballsack. Explain this to a man and he will ''instantly'' understand how and why intercourse does not stimulate the clitoris.[[/note]]

Attempt not to perpetrate these in your story. These {{Critical Research Failure}}s make you look like a complete fool. Because you are.

-->'''Jen''': I think that intent and motive is what makes sex so interesting, Dawson. I mean, why do two people have sex? Okay, uh, so they're in love. [[SexEqualsLove That's obvious]]. [[TrueLoveIsBoring Who cares]]? But [say] they're in {{lust}}: slightly more interesting. They're [[RejectionAffection hurting over someone]]... They're [[SexForSolace in pain]]... [[TheLostLenore Trying to forget someone]]. They're [[SelectiveObliviousness in denial]]. They'relooking for a distraction. All of a sudden, sex has just become ''very'' interesting and not the obvious choice at all.

-->'''Jen''': I think that intent and motive is what makes sex so interesting, Dawson. I mean, why do two people have sex? Okay, uh, so they're in love. [[SexEqualsLove That's obvious]]. [[TrueLoveIsBoring Who cares]]? But [say] they're in {{lust}}: slightly more interesting. They're [[RejectionAffection hurting over someone]]... They're [[SexForSolace in pain]]... [[TheLostLenore Trying to forget someone]]. They're [[SelectiveObliviousness in denial]]. They're [[InfidelityIndex looking for a distraction]]. All of a sudden, sex has just become ''very'' interesting and not the obvious choice at all.

You will need to devote some time into deciding ''how'' the participants came to ''be'' participating. Why do they want to have sex with each other? It's true that [[{{Asexuality}} almost everyone]] has a sex drive that makes them want to bump uglies; the libido is built into all living creatures. This explains why the characters want to have sex. It does not explain why they want to have sex with ''each other''. Most people are selective about their sex partners, applying various criteria relating to physical appearance and/or personality and only engaging sexually with those who have passed a minimum number of satisfactory qualities. Presumably, your characters did the same, and emerged with "chemistry"--in which it is shown that Alex is attracted to [trait], that Bryce has it, and that Alex responds positively upon discovering this; and then vice versa in reciprocate. The characters should ''desire'' each other, in other words, emotionally and/or physically.

As a major consideration, one we've already started to consider: what does the sex ''mean'' to the two people having it? The simple fact is that most people don't have sex just to have sex, or just to have an orgasm; ADateWithRosiePalms fulfills that function with a great deal less mess and effort. Additionally, the simple fact is that sex is fairly straightforward. How many ways are there to put a penis in a vagina? When you get down to it, only one. So the reason you want to ask what the sex ''means'', to ask ''why'' the two people are having it, is because ''this is the only thing that makes the sex scene interesting to The Reader.'' (Obviously, it may be different if you're working in a visual medium, since you can depict the sex much more, well, graphically than you could on page; but that's another matter.) People have sex; PeopleSitOnChairs too. Why does the story need to include it? If you can't answer this question from a {{Watsonian}} perspective, then the answer is, "The story ''doesn't'' need to include it," and you should consider saving everyone some time.

On the flipside, however, morality changes. Certain 'lifestyle choices' that were frowned on even a couple of decades ago are now increasingly accepted. With this in mind, however, be wary of how you're depicting sex and sexuality, especially alternative and 'non-mainstream' sexualities and even more especially if you are not a member of these groups yourself (hi, [[Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey E. L. James]]!). Suggesting or depicting that SexIsEvil is in and of itself riddled with UnfortunateImplications and potential {{Double Standard}}s, particularly if you are depicting certain groups or sexualities as evil in the process. Just as the kinky authors above aren't going to magically convert people into accepting their kinks just through including them in their work, if you think ‘that sort of thing shouldn’t be allowed’ you’re not going to turn the clock back by force just by writing it in your story. An AuthorTract is an AuthorTract, and the fact that this one is about sex won't gain you any points.

Try also to avoid including too much AuthorAppeal. Sex, of course, is heavily tied up with fetishes and kinks, and authors are no different than anyone else in that they have certain tastes and fancies as well; it can be easy and helpful to throw in a little bit of what appeals to you personally. After all, if something turns you on, then you're going to be able to write it convincingly; just don't assume everyone else is going to be as enthusiastic about it as you are. However, be careful. If there's a sense that you're providing TooMuchInformation about what personally turns you on (hi [[Literature/{{Twilight}} SMeyer!]]), or were writing the sex scene with one hand while the other was ... [[ADateWithRosiePalms occupied]], shall we say, then this can make things a bit creepy and uncomfortable for your reader. If the sex scene is too prurient, it can be off-putting to the reader. If you ''must'' include AuthorAppeal, however, then try to avoid justifying it with IJustWriteTheThing -- yet again, no one's going to be convinced. If you're going to include your kinks, stand by them.

Guess what: this ain't true. But ''admitting'' it can be tricky. In general, when a person doesn't conform to what society expects them to be, they harbor insecurities about this non-conformity; a tiny little part of them suspects they might be defective. And revealing it to another person can be harrowing, because that other person might judge you for it. The obvious example is a gay man, who (at least, according to [[CommonKnowledge societal stereotype]], [[BlatantLies which is never wrong]]) is gay because he wants to take the role of a woman during sex, but what about straight men who don't mind being on bottom, or straight women who like to take charge? What about men who like to cuddle, and women who like aggressive, animalistic sex?

-->'''Jen''': I mean, why do two people have sex? Okay, uh, so they're in love.\\
'''Dawson''': [[SexEqualsLove That's obvious]].\\
'''Jen''': [[TrueLoveIsBoring Who cares]]? But they're in {{lust}}... Slightly more interesting. They're [[RejectionAffection hurting over someone]]... They're [[SexForSolace in pain]]... [[TheLostLenore Trying to forget someone]]. They're [[SelectiveObliviousness in denial]]. They're [[InfidelityIndex looking for a distraction]]. All of a sudden, sex has just become very interesting and not the obvious choice at all.

This one-sentence chapter focuses not on what they're doing, but rather how they're ''feeling'' about they're doing. It's the culmination of two people falling head-over-heels for each other, and -- via GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex -- confirms that there is something very genuine between Eddie and Odetta. We know what it ''means'' to them. Even better, it goes the ''opposite'' of IKEAErotica by turning the whole session into a NoodleIncident. Whatever "good sex" is ''for you'', there's room for you to apply it. King doesn't even ''try'' to convince you that Eddie and Odetta had the hottest sex ever, he lets you convince yourself, simply by letting you fill in the details. ShowDontTell is a good rule, but King, like many writers, knows when to turn it around for the occasions when Telling is even better than Showing.

Any. All. Sex is something most humans do, and in a lot of circumstances. The RomanceArc can be stitched into almost any other plot or genre, and sex is one of the (relatively) natural outcomes of the romance arc, and therefore can be wedged in as well. This can even be true in situations of true calamity and destruction, like AfterTheEnd or ZombieApocalypse or whatever; GladToBeAliveSex and all that.[[note]]It's because sex includes the desire to procreate, to reproduce, to create something that will outlive you.[[/note]] Again, we've already talked about the tricky elements of making it seem logical or sensible that your characters ''would'' stop what they're doing and get it on, but they'll probably ''want'' to.

If you've decided to simply write erotic fiction and you need a plot structure that lends itself to ExplicitContent, the absolute best place to start is the ComingOfAgeStory. "Adulthood" and "sexual maturity" are intertwined almost by definition. (As mentioned previously, there are some legal pitfalls with taking this approach, but you can always just have your character be a late bloomer.) Another good candidate is the PeggySue plot. It needs to be used differently -- your character gets flung back in time at the ''beginning'' of the story instead of the end -- but it's easy to get the girl if you already know how the story ends. (These stories tend to lean heavily towards {{escapism}}, but there's absolutely room for that in the erotic-fiction genre; in fact, it's arguably ''the purpose'' of the genre.) Other good setups include "Character is new in town," "Character is doing a travelogue", and, of course, the good old RomanceNovel.

Wherever you go for, however, the location should fit the mood and the characters. Again, the mood you're trying to set will probably affect the choice of location; for example, if you're trying to set a romantic, intimate and gentle mood, then your characters having a quickie in a nightclub bathroom is unlikely to be a good fit. However, the same location could fit if your characters are in a right-here-right-now kind of mood. Of course, depending on how clever and talented you are, you ''could'' turn a nightclub bathroom encounter into a somewhere unexpectedly romantic and intimate, so it's really up to you.

Sex scenes have to deal with law in a way that most other fiction doesn't. Specifically, there are laws governing the depiction of sexual congress. The quick rule of thumb is that the folks in the fiction need to be above the "[[https://www.ageofconsent.net/ age of consent]]" for RealLife, non-fiction folks--IE, they are legally permitted to consent to sexual activity and are no longer subject to the JailBaitWait. And that's where it starts getting complicated, because basically every government on the planet has set its own limit on the wait. All 50 states in America have set them individually; most have set it at 16, but a few have also chosen 17 and 18. The place that set it the highest, Bahrain, put it at 21; Nigeria set it at 18. And here's the thing: if your story is to be legally consumable in any given place, it needs to comply with ''that place's'' laws. So, while your story might ''take place'' in, say, Washington State, where the age of consent is 16, it can't be legally consumed in California, where it's 18, unless it would be legal if it ''were'' taking place in California. (This is actually one of the justifications for SoCalization when it comes to explicit content.) The question you'll get sued over is not, "Is it legal for your characters to do it;" the question is, "Is it legal for your consumers to ''imitate'' it."

'''Jen''': [[TrueLoveIsBoring Who cares]]? But they're in {{lust}}... Slightly more interesting. They're [[RejectionAffection hurting over someone]]... They're [[SexForSolace in pain]]... [[TheLostLenore Trying to forget someone]]. They're [[SelectiveObliviousness in denial]]. They're [[YourCheatingHeart looking for a distraction]]. All of a sudden, sex has just become very interesting and not the obvious choice at all.

* "'''ReallyGetsAround''': a woman's private area becomes worn out from overuse, particularly if with a wide variety of partners." No it doesn't. There's not much that impacts a vagina: even ''childbirth'' is not guaranteed to have physiological effects. Besides, this idea fails any sort of logical scrutiny. It demands a person believe that a woman who wed at 18 to her OneTrueLove and has since had sex (say) 500 times with him, is ''less'' "worn out" than her friend who has had sex five times ''ever'', just with a different man each time.

* "'''BiggusDickus''': the larger a man is, the better sex will be." This is not only false, it is the opposite of true. In general, the larger the man is, the ''more'' preparation and foreplay is required before a woman is ready for him; if this step is skipped, sex may actually be ''less'' enjoyable for his partner. Alas, well-endowed men may also fall prey to the ''other'' belief about the Biggus Dickus -- that the penis is the primary implement of female sexual pleasure -- and thus fail to do the necessary preparations.[[note]]To explain ''this'' one, just contemplate a bit of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homology_(biology) homology]]. Up until they are about 6 weeks old, male and female embryos are physiologically identical. Then hormones kick in, and a little structure in between the legs becomes the penis on a boy and the clitoris on a girl. Meanwhile, a separate structure becomes the girl's labia, which enclose the vaginal entrance, and the boy's... scrotum. Being sexually penetrated is the equivalent of having someone's penis somewhere around your ballsack. Explain this to a man and he will ''instantly'' understand how and why intercourse does not stimulate the clitoris.[[/note]]