History SelfDemonstrating / DeadPool

* I'm all over the toons and games, too, with Creator/NolanNorth providing my heavenly voice in ''[[WesternAnimation/HulkVS Hulk Vs. Wolverine]]'' and ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3'', '''[[MemeticMutation F*@# THE KNICKS!]]''' [[note]] I'm also crossing my fingers that someone pulls Perlmutter's stick out his butt so me and the other X-Men will be in ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcomInfinite'' 'cuz do you really think ComicBook/BlackPanther can suitably fit in the Wolverine [[Memes/CapcomVs function]]? Can't see T'Challa as a masher type. And while [[VideoGame/ThePunisherCapcom Frank is the first Marvel character that Capcom dipped their toes in]], he lacks the je ne sais quoi that I have to offer. Unfortunately due to a combination of Perlmutter being the biggest pain in the ass to work with along with gamers flocking to [[VideoGame/DragonBallFighterZ DBFZ]], Capcom decided to [[FranchiseKiller cut their losses]]. All because Ike was so butthurt about the X-Men belonging to Fox at the time and trying to push the Inhumans so hard that it became a dumspter fire when [[Series/{{Inhumans}} their shoestring budget show]] bombed big time.[[/note]] John Kassir (y'know, [[Series/TalesFromTheCrypt The Crypt Keeper]] and [[WesternAnimation/AdventureTime the first Ice King]]?) moved my vocal cords in ''[[VideoGame/XMenLegends X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse]]'' and both ''VideoGame/MarvelUltimateAlliance'' games.

* AdaptationalBadass: [[Film/XMenOriginsWolverine Dudepeel]] should not be me. But, if I have to admit it, he is a lot ''tougher'' than me. Instead of a teleporter and old-fashioned swords, he's got built-in teleportation and [[JustForFun/XMeetsY some kinda cross]] between [[WolverineClaws Wolvie claws]] and [[KatanasAreJustBetter katana blades]].

* I'm all over the toons and games, too, with Creator/NolanNorth providing my heavenly voice in ''[[WesternAnimation/HulkVS Hulk Vs. Wolverine]]'' and ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3'', '''[[MemeticMutation F*@# THE KNICKS!]]''' [[note]] I'm also crossing my fingers that someone pulls Perlmutter's stick out his butt so me and the other X-Men will be in ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcomInfinite'' 'cuz do you really think ComicBook/BlackPanther can suitably fit in the Wolverine [[Memes/CapcomVs function]]? Can't see T'Challa as a masher type. And while [[VideoGame/ThePunisherCapcom Frank is the first Marvel character that Capcom dipped their toes in]], he lacks the je ne sais quoi that I have to offer. Unfortunately due to a combination of Perlmutter being the biggest pain in the ass to work with along with gamers flocking to [[VideoGame/DragonBallFighterZ DBFZ]], Capcom decided to cut their losses. All because Ike was so butthurt about the X-Men belonging to Fox at the time and trying to push the Inhumans so hard that it became a dumspter fire when [[Series/{{Inhumans}} their shoestring budget show]] bombed big time.[[/note]] John Kassir (y'know, [[Series/TalesFromTheCrypt The Crypt Keeper]] and [[WesternAnimation/AdventureTime the first Ice King]]?) moved my vocal cords in ''[[VideoGame/XMenLegends X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse]]'' and both ''VideoGame/MarvelUltimateAlliance'' games.

* ''AND'' I've got a both a [[Pinball/{{Deadpool|2018}} real pinball table]] and a [[VideoGame/DeadpoolZenStudios digital one]]! How cool is that?! They're the greatest pinball gaming experiences of all time (well, at least better than that ComicBook/IronMan [[Pinball/IronMan table]] anyway).

* ''AND'' I've got a both a [[Pinball/{{Deadpool|2018}} real pinball table]] and a [[VideoGame/DeadpoolZenStudios digital one]]! How cool is that?! They're the greatest pinball gaming experiences of all time (well, at least better than that ComicBook/IronMan [[https://www.ipdb.org/machine.cgi?id=5550 table]] anyway).

** Aww yeah, you know it, ladies. [[DeathSeeker Lady Death]] (whoops, sorry, ''Mistress'' Death, but ComicBook/LadyDeath is sexy, too), [[ShapeShifting Vanessa]], [[{{Yandere}} Typhoid Mary]], [[HeroesWantRedHeads Siryn]], [[BettyAndVeronica Dr. Betty, Professor Veronica]], [[DistaffCounterpart Lady Deadpool]], [[MostCommonSuperpower Outlaw]], [[VideoGame/{{Darkstalkers}} Morrigan]], [[CatGirl Felicia]], and the [[FanGirl millions upon millions of others]], who have succumbed to my [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons 25 Charisma stat]] (despite a 15 Disfigurement one that qualifies me as [[ButterFace "Kavorka"]]). In my ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3'' ending, I got to mac with most of the lovely ladies at my slammin' party after wasting Galactus's purple pimply ass! Until I accidentally wiped out Cleveland... whoops!

* LegacyCharacter: Yours truly once filled in for Wolverine as Wolverine ''in'' ''ComicBook/{{Wolverines}}'', because it's very important for the world to have a Wolverine in it, and Logan was, you know, dead at the time, and Marvel kept saying that this time he wasn't coming back. ''Someone'' had to do it, but I don't understand why the X-Men, the Avengers, Alpha Flight, ''or'' S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn't let me play! I mean come on! Logan and I go way back, but they're going to let the [[ComicBook/{{X23}} clone]] do it instead? How unoriginal is that! They could at least have let X-29 do it, ''she'' at least had a sense of humor.

** And then there's my new BFF [[Characters/X23SupportingCharacters Gabby]], one of the only people ever not put off by my ugly mug. She even [[FlippingTheBird gave me the finger]]. ''In a box!'' If that's not friendship, what is?

** North also voiced my toy self in ''VideoGame/LegoMarvelSuperHeroes''! (and no, don't ask me why that wannabe [[ComicBook/{{Gwenpool}} Gwen]] took over my role in the sequel; stupid Perlmutter has probably something to do with it, remind me to fill his shoes with Legos) And I'm all over those games that people probably play in their toilets, such as ''VideoGame/MarvelFutureFight'', ''VideoGame/MarvelTournamentOfChampions'' and ''VideoGame/MarvelPuzzleQuest'', with that last having so much me they added a [[ComicBook/GhostRider Spirit of Vengeance]] Deadpool! Better ready my Creator/NicolasCage impressions.

* {{Trick Arrow}}s: Yeah, I made 'em when I teamed up with {{ComicBook/Hawkeye}} to kill a bunch of pirates. [[SeinfeldIsUnfunny They all are Hulk Hands toys the kids don't play with nowadays]]. [[spoiler:The trick, [[StuffBlowingUp they all explode!]]]] The person who written this story also was the same guy who made those internet comics about [[Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja that doctor who happens to also be a ninja]], [[BlatantLies just like me!]]

* CatchPhrase: During Priest's run, I was fond of telling folks that the answer to their first question is SHADDUP. In the films, it seems to be "Maximum Effort".

** And now I'm about to join the freakin' Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse! [[Creator/{{Disney}} Thanks, Mickey!]] Your bottomless pockets have made this Merc With A Mouth's wish upon a star come true. Now I get to hang out with Spidey, [[Creator/BenedictCumberbatch Bennysnitch]], and about seven handsome Chrises on the silver screen! Oh, and to make things even better, my buddy Ryan's coming along for the ride once again! And to start my tenure under their family friendly roof, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqNZGIzPq7Y here's me and a rock guy.... golem..person reviewing a trailer]] for some movie [[Film/FreeGuy about a guy in a video game or something]]. Apparently Ryan's in it and [[Creator/TaikaWaititi another guy who sounds like the rock guy too]]. [[BlatantLies I don't think]] [[OldShame they've ever]] [[Film/GreenLantern2011 worked together before]] [[TakeThat until these.]] To be honest, I kinda checked out after I got my internet money.

** Oh, let's not forget to mention [[Film/XMenFilmSeries those X-Chumps]] didn't stand a ghost of a chance once I came into the picture (no, not [[Film/XMenOriginsWolverine that one]]. Doesn't count [[CanonDiscontinuity anymore pal]], though this constant timeline changes are so confusing). Sure, [[Film/XMen they]] [[Film/X2XMenUnited had]] [[Film/XMenFirstClass some]] [[Film/TheWolverine good]] [[Film/XMenDaysOfFuturePast movies]], but I was the guy who broke box office records ''and'' made wearing red spandex look good again. Hell, if it wasn't for me, [[Film/{{Logan}} old tall dark and handsome]] would have gotten a very nice sendoff before everything [[Film/DarkPhoenix all came]] [[Film/TheNewMutants crashing down]] and the giant mouse bought out Fox. Now? All the guys [[FollowTheLeader want to do what I did]] (though obviously they can't copy me that much), and it's ''me'' (yes, ME) that's ''not'' getting rebooted when Mickey's recent acquisition joins the [[Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse 23 for 23]] club. Sorry Logan. Them's the breaks!

** I mean, except for [[ComicBook/SheHulk that other 4th wall mutilating Marvel character]]? Seriously, [[ShoutOut somebody should make her my new co-star instead of that smelly old cyborg]]! She's a fun-loving saint [[PerverseSexualLust with tattered clothing and raging emotions, who can out-romance Tony Stark]]! I'm a fun-loving homicidal maniac who will hump AnythingThatMoves! [[TemptingFate What could go wrong]]? I'd even keep her busy with hundreds of legal cases to solve... 'cause that's just the kind of giving guy that I am. I can imagine her response now:

* JumpedAtTheCall: Unlike that [[ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} Adamantium angstbag]] or that [[Franchise/SpiderMan whiny web-slinger]], I love what I do. I was a badass normal before getting awesome powers.

* SelfDeprecation: No, no, ''I'' never do this, but it seems for some strange reason, I always have the job of dealing with some of the lamest bad guys ever conceived. You know, the folks you tend to read about and say, "Who is this loser? What on Earth was the writer thinking?" You know, guys like [[ComicBook/HowardTheDuck Doctor Bong]], the [[Franchise/SpiderMan Murderous Mimes]], and [[ComicBook/SpiderWoman Turner D. Century]]. (I heard this used to be Scourge's job, but ''that'' guy was ''just'' as lame.)

* {{Flanderization}}: Some people say that my wackiness and fourth-wall breaking has been taken so far that it undercuts the violent and self-destructive psychoses inherent to my character. On the other hand, does the Marvel Universe really need another [[ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} Canadian with Rage Issues, Regenerating Healing Powers, and a convoluted backstory complicated by Swiss-Cheese Memory]], or [[Franchise/SpiderMan a flamboyant joke-cracker in a red costume, whose snark covers up his inner angst]]?

** Saying the prequel ''Franchise/StarWars'' trilogy was better than the original trilogy and that Creator/HaydenChristensen gave a great performance in them [[http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvpvea0A441qa3cldo1_500.png will be the last words you ever say.]] More of you need to watch ''Film/ShatteredGlass'', and the [[Series/ObiWanKenobi Disney+]] [[Series/Ahsoka shows]] hadn't been made yet.

** Saying the prequel ''Franchise/StarWars'' trilogy was better than the original trilogy and that Creator/HaydenChristensen gave a great performance in them [[http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvpvea0A441qa3cldo1_500.png will be the last words you ever say.]] More of you need to watch ''Film/ShatteredGlass'', and the [[Series/ObiWanKenobi Disney+]] [[Series/Ahsoks shows]] hadn't been made yet.

** Saying the prequel ''Franchise/StarWars'' trilogy was better than the original trilogy and that Creator/HaydenChristensen gave a great performance in them [[http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvpvea0A441qa3cldo1_500.png will be the last words you ever say.]] More of you need to watch ''Film/ShatteredGlass'', and [[Series/ObiWanKenobi The Obi-Wan Show]] hadn't been made yet.

* VirtuousCharacterCopy: Believe it or not, I'm this to [[ComicBook/{{Deathstroke}} Slade]]. Whereas 'Stroke would care less about kids let alone his own and would kill the [[ComicBook/TeenTitans Titans]] on sight, I on the other hand do everything to keep kids safe, especially Ellie.

** I played the shit out of ''VideoGame/StreetFighter''. Even used a {{Shoryuken}} on a few occasions! Got to [[VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3 meet Ryu]], too, but that asshole wouldn't autograph his spleen for me! What a dick!

* IKnowMortalKombat: I am an avid gamer. ''VideoGame/StreetFighter'' taught me to sock Kitty Pride with a {{Shoryuken}}. [[VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3 Even got to use it against actual Street Fighters!]]

** I also really dig those cool cats from ''VideoGame/StreetFighter''. [[VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3 Why won't they sign their spleen for me, though?]]

** Saying the prequel ''Franchise/StarWars'' trilogy was better than the original trilogy and that Creator/HaydenChristensen gave a great performance in them [[http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvpvea0A441qa3cldo1_500.png will be the last words you ever say.]] More of you need to watch ''Film/ShatteredGlass''.

* BattleRapping: I once [[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory entered a rap battle]] against [[SelfDemonstrating/BobaFett a certain other mercenary who inexplicably became a legend among geeks and fanboys the world over]]. Seriously, who knew I could dance like that?

* BadGuysDoTheDirtyWork: I once made a promise to Sandi that I wouldn't kill her [[AssholeVictim abusive boyfriend]]. Tasky... [[KickTheSonOfABitch didn't make any promises]].

* KickTheSonOfABitch: I once paid a visit to the man by giving him a NoHoldsBarredBeatdown. This man was no other than the [[AssholeVictim abusive boyfriend]] of my friend, Sandi. Though I made a promise not to kill him right there. Tasky...on the other hand, who didn't promise her anything, kills said guy anyway.
** Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. I got hired to kill the ex-jock bastard for starting a rumor that made a poor girl named Tanya Patterson into a social pariah, ruining her life because it still hung with her and cost her a chance with someone decent instead of her loser husband. When I told the guy [[ItMakesSenseInContext whose house I broke into]] what the rumor ''was'' [[EveryoneHasStandards he did a 180 on ol' Gavin and was totally okay with me gunning the bastard down.]] Probably shouldn't have tried to apologize and then say that Tanya needs to "get over" him turning her life into a living hell.

** And now I'm about to join the freakin' Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse! [[Creator/{{Disney}} Thanks, Mickey!]] Your bottomless pockets have made this Merc With A Mouth's wish upon a star come true. Now I get to hang out with Spidey, [[Creator/BenedictCumberbatch Bennysnitch]], and about seven handsome Chrises on the silver screen! Oh, and to make things even better, my buddy Ryan's coming along for the ride once again! And to start my tenure under their family friendly roof, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqNZGIzPq7Y here's me and a rock guy.... golem..person reviewing a trailer]] for some movie [[Film/FreeGuy about a guy in a video game or something]]. Apparently Ryan's in it and [[Creator/TaikaWaititi another guy who sounds like the rock guy too]]. [[BlatantLies I don't think]] [[OldShame they've ever]] [[Film/GreenLantern worked together before]] [[TakeThat until these.]] To be honest, I kinda checked out after I got my internet money.

* TheHeart: I function as this in ''Uncanny X-Force''. When you got me as TheHeart, something is seriously wrong with TheTeam. I never cashed [[RichIdiotWithNoDayJob Warren's]] checks for the better part of a year!

* TalkingIsAFreeAction: Natch. My lung capacity cannot be matched. [[TheChick Domino]] notes my endless, inane banter is actually my most dangerous ability, since most opponents are too distracted to pay attention to my moves. Just... as... plotted.

* HitMeDammit: I spent the better part of an issue trying to get ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} to stab me. But he was being a wuss, so I [[{{Shoryuken}} Shoryuken'd]] Kitty Pryde instead. That worked. Also, for me to unleash the fury of [[PowerLevel my Level 3 special]] in ''VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom3'', people have to hit me whilst I am doing a SexyWalk.

* AudienceWhatAudience: I do so enjoy our little chats, even if they seem to confuse the hell out of both my friends and enemies alike, because they can really only hear my end of them, so from their perspective I just look I'm staring into empty space with a goofy expression on my face and monologuing. Of course, I can't really hear your replies either [[note]]Unless that Deadpool-branded DatingSim project I keep pitching to the higher-ups at Disney happens to get approved some day... ''Sigh.'' Oh, well. A man can dream.[[/note]] so I guess they might be kinda right, but they don't have to know that.