History Sandbox / ConCritThread

# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Nxx_2w3DC7mUC8WvD8MRVRj09krw6tfyaa-ox1Jl-MM/edit?usp=sharing Anime Movie]]'': A fan-script for an anime parody film. (Tropers/AdeptGaderius)

# ''[[https://www.wattpad.com/story/314803070-united-a-plants-vs-zombies-fanfiction United]]'': A FanFic starring 6 friends who want to go back in time to 1978 to see Barry Manilow, but it all goes horribly wrong and they end up in the wrong eras, and several of them are lost along the way.


!The Waitlist:
# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vwaPYNn5_p094NbqLjCYWs8jWkCLrfZK8Oz_RIRb-J0/edit?usp=drivesdk Evelyn of the valley, episode 4: a trip to the forest]]'' by Kinni454: The first draft of episode 4 of my original series, "Evelyn of the Valley". In this episode, Evelyn and her brother Trevor are out in the forest collecting some apples when strange events happen around them, eventually leading them to a cave deep in the woods, home of an unexpected inhabitant.

#
''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vwaPYNn5_p094NbqLjCYWs8jWkCLrfZK8Oz_RIRb-J0/edit?usp=drivesdk Evelyn of the valley, episode 4: a trip to the forest]] by Kinni454'': the first draft of episode 4 of my original series, "Evelyn of the valley". In this episode, Evelyn and her brother Trevor are out in the forest collecting some apples when strange events happen around them, eventually leading them to a cave deep in the woods, home of an unexpected inhabitant.

''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vwaPYNn5_p094NbqLjCYWs8jWkCLrfZK8Oz_RIRb-J0/edit?usp=drivesdk Evelyn of the valley, episode 4: a trip to the forest]]'': the first draft of episode 4 of my original series, "Evelyn of the valley". In this episode, Evelyn and her brother Trevor are out in the forest collecting some apples when strange events happen around them, eventually leading them to a cave deep in the woods, home of an unexpected inhabitant.

# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/15R9ni3TLHu_873PSpi70z2Gw981GSQcqoHbinRPKn7c/edit?usp=sharing Project Alice (Placeholder Title)]]'': A LightNovel draft starring a girl named Alice as she goes on a journey across the world to find answers to the collapse of her civilization, travelling alongside and forming bonds with her companion Naomi. Prologue is partially complete and only consists of the introductory scene for now. (Tropers/CytoZytokine)


!The Waitlist:

# ''[[https://www.wattpad.com/story/314803070-united-a-plants-vs-zombies-fanfiction United]]''A FanFic starring 6 friends who want to go back in time to 1978 to see Barry Manilow, but it all goes horribly wrong and they end up in the wrong eras, and several of them are lost along the way.

# ''[[https://www.wattpad.com/story/314803070-united-a-plants-vs-zombies-fanfiction]]''----- A FanFic starring 6 friends who want to go back in time to 1978 to see Barry Manilow, but it all goes horribly wrong and they end up in the wrong eras, and several of them are lost along the way.

#
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# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tRqGny47Jg2OwobNtGFhcd3BckwVGvJmHhEsnDxwQAY/edit?usp=sharing Anime Movie (PARTIAL)]]'': A partially-complete parody movie script. (Adept Gaderius)

!The Waitlist:

# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CztBMzkDX8cux7AfzAwyfVEBYVi4-JhVMSNbcMQ-QyI/edit?usp=sharing Evelyn of the valley, Episode 3: title TBD]]'' by Kinni454: the third episode of my series, "Evelyn of the valley". In this episode, Evelyn attempts to gain tickets for a concert featuring her and her brother Trevor's favorite musician, Pierre Mexes. After the concert, the two youngsters were having fun at the nearby carnival when Evelyn noticed Mexes playing darts nearby... -- I would like your opinions on the story, grammar and whether i am doing enough show, don't tell, especially in regards to the ending, which i really, really want to pull off. Oh, and find a title for the episode.

!The Waitlist:

# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CztBMzkDX8cux7AfzAwyfVEBYVi4-JhVMSNbcMQ-QyI/edit?usp=sharing Evelyn of the valley, Episode 3: title TBD]]'' by Kinni454: the third episode of my series, "Evelyn of the valley". In this episode, Evelyn attempts to gain tickets for a concert featuring her and his brother Trevor's favorite musician, Pierre Mexes. After the concert, the two youngsters were having fun at the nearby carnival when Evelyn noticed Mexes playing darts nearby... -- I would like your opinions on the story, grammar and whether i am doing enough show, don't tell, especially in regards to the ending, which i really, really want to pull off. Oh, and find a title for the episode.

''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l2eda7a_vcl2Ns6vYgxBPkipiQouQTJDGQBG7x-Y180/edit?usp=sharing Murmurs]]'': A rewrite of a previous script (Adept Gaderius).

!The Waitlist:

# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l2eda7a_vcl2Ns6vYgxBPkipiQouQTJDGQBG7x-Y180/edit?usp=sharing Murmurs]]'': A rewrite of a previous script (Adept Gaderius).

''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CztBMzkDX8cux7AfzAwyfVEBYVi4-JhVMSNbcMQ-QyI/edit?usp=sharing Evelyn of the valley, Episode 3: title TBD]]'' by Kinni454: the third episode of my series, "Evelyn of the valley". In this episode, Evelyn attempts to gain tickets for a concert featuring her and his brother Trevor's favorite musician, Pierre Mexes. After the concert, the two youngsters were having fun at the nearby carnival when Evelyn noticed Mexes playing darts nearby...

I would like your opinions on the story, grammar and whether i am doing enough show, don't tell, especially in regards to the ending, which i really, really want to pull off. Oh, and find a title for the episode.

''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CztBMzkDX8cux7AfzAwyfVEBYVi4-JhVMSNbcMQ-QyI/edit?usp=sharing Evelyn of the valley, Episode 3: title TBD]]'': the third episode of my series, "Evelyn of the valley". In this episode, Evelyn attempts to gain tickets for a concert featuring her and his brother Trevor's favorite musician, Pierre Mexes. After the concert, the two youngsters were having fun at the nearby carnival when Evelyn noticed Mexes playing darts nearby...

I would like your opinions on the story, grammar and whether i am doing enough show, don't tell, especially in regards to the ending, which i really, really want to pull off.

# ''' [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/10H5gi7qiipnkZK4RO3tNf3aJXRhFMsAMYtO9TmqLO0E/edit?usp=drivesdk Evelyn of the Valley, Episode 1: For Want of a Garlic Bread]] '''

# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l2eda7a_vcl2Ns6vYgxBPkipiQouQTJDGQBG7x-Y180/edit?usp=sharing Murmurs]]'': A rewrite of a previous script.


Sypnosis: this is the first episode of my original series. It's about the daily life of Evelyn, a poor girl who tries to provide for herself amd her little brother, Trevor, by doing odd jobs around the town of Gravenbirch. In this first episode, after delivering glasses of wine to the old priest father McCullough, Evelyn stops by the marketplace on her way home, where she notices a Garlic Bread. Tempted, she attempts to steal it...

What i seek: i seek feedback on the new modifications on this revision, as well as checking for grammar and whether i do a good job of telling the story.

* '''[Nothing! Come add your work to be critiqued!]'''

''' https://docs.google.com/document/d/10H5gi7qiipnkZK4RO3tNf3aJXRhFMsAMYtO9TmqLO0E/edit?usp=drivesdk [[Evelyn of the Valley, Episode 1: For Want of a Garlic Bread]] '''

Sypnosis: this is the first episode of my original series. It's about the daily life of Evelyn, a poor girl who tries to provide for herself amd her little brother, Trevor, by doing odd jobs around the town of Gravenbirch. In this first episode, after delivering glasses of wine to the old priest father McCullough, Evelyn stops by the marketplace on her way home, where she notices a Garlic Bread. Tenpted, she attempts to steal it...

Sypnosis: this is the first episode of my original series. It's about the daily life of Evelyn, a poor girl who tries to provide for herself amd her little brother, Trevor, by doing odd jobs around the town of Gravenbirch. In this first episode, after delivering glasses of wine to the old priest father McCullough, Evelyn stops by the marketplace on her way home, where a Garlic Bread tempts her to do some theft...

'''Add here.'''

# ''[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/13to8Z1HU-YKv_774du_jDYE8DKWqACY6BlQehZIBIac/edit?usp=drivesdk Murmurs]]'': A script for an R-rated suspense feature film. (Tropers/AdeptGaderius)

# [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iruIR-A0wLxXAmZdeQKWgsu7h-DVGDZri8tGWHz5IPk/edit?usp=sharing Prodigious Paragons Pilot (REWRITE)]]: A rewrite of the script with a tweaked plot.
#[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/113LHb1amMiMoSqzRbzT975QsOTixwGYslCfA1Yv8Xw0/edit Zodiac E (Chapter 1)]]: A modern fantasy where a queen travels the world to prove her worth as a leader.

The discussion over at the *[[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13140953900A35473200&page=10#236 "Is being Troperiffic a Bad Thing?"]] thread got a few of us seriously talking about starting a full-fledged, free for all dedicated ConCrit thread. Thanks go to your friendly neighborhood Herald, @/Chihuahua0, for giving this the go-ahead. %smile%

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[[https://docs.google.com/document/d/113LHb1amMiMoSqzRbzT975QsOTixwGYslCfA1Yv8Xw0/edit Zodiac E (Chapter 1)]]: A modern fantasy where a queen travels the world to prove her worth as a leader.

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