History Sandbox / ConCritThread

25th Apr '17 2:39:54 AM CrystalGlacia
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* @/{{UltimateLazer}}: [[https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3298204/1/Protectors Protectors]]: This is my take on the superhero genre, currently making progress.
24th Apr '17 1:38:57 PM MapleSamurai
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* @/MapleSamurai: [[http://tamashikiri.deviantart.com/gallery/60669921/Crowley-University Crowley University]]: A writing project of mine I have been uploading to DeviantArt's "Serial Stories" group. The story is a SliceOfLife chronicling magic student's Victoria Yeong Cross's day to day activities in the titular MagicSchool in an UnmasquedWorld almost a decade after TheMagicComesBack.
13th Apr '17 3:18:04 PM DokemonStudios
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* @/DokemonStudios: [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ld7KF39CfEzacqxlTcd7VD7yM19e92Y9vVfF8P6-hgo/edit?usp=sharing Saturday Morning Short - Lock's Lizards and Labyrinths]]: I couldn't wait for a critic in the Writer/Critic Dating Service, so I decided to put my script here. It's a parody of adventure fantasy cartoons where this Link Expy named Lock, is on a mission to save his idiot sister, who is a parody of Disney Princesses. It's about 5 pages long (counting the mini storyboard). Do the sentences flow naturally? Is there any actual characterization in these characters? And most importantly, is it funny?
10th Apr '17 1:22:12 PM CrystalGlacia
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* @/{{TooManyIdeas}}: [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FTlGL6vP5duy8QPQDYivJsEhLTgR28L_W0N1bjx4gKQ/edit?usp=sharing Wardove]]. A dystopian suspense about two sisters trying to escape a civil war in America with psychic Neo-Nazis. This is the first three chapters of my NaNoWriMo novel from last year, and honestly they're the chapters I consider most representative of the work as a whole.
30th Mar '17 8:21:30 AM TyeDyeWildebeest
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* @/TyeDyeWildbeest: [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12381819/1/The-Connie-Ronnie-Switcheroo The Connie-Ronnie Switcheroo]]: A CrossoverFic between WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse and WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse based around an alternate universe where Connie Maheswaran and Ronnie Anne Santiago- the quasi-love interests of Steven and Lincoln, respectively- have switched places entirely. Currently have three chapters written, wanted to know if I'm off to a good start, particularly in regards to the pacing (is it too slow?) and the prose (could some parts use some more detail/description?).

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* @/TyeDyeWildbeest: @/TyeDyeWildebeest: [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12381819/1/The-Connie-Ronnie-Switcheroo The Connie-Ronnie Switcheroo]]: A CrossoverFic between WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse and WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse based around an alternate universe where Connie Maheswaran and Ronnie Anne Santiago- the quasi-love interests of Steven and Lincoln, respectively- have switched places entirely. Currently have three chapters written, wanted to know if I'm off to a good start, particularly in regards to the pacing (is it too slow?) and the prose (could some parts use some more detail/description?).
30th Mar '17 8:19:54 AM TyeDyeWildebeest
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*@/TyeDyeWildbeest: [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12381819/1/The-Connie-Ronnie-Switcheroo The Connie-Ronnie Switcheroo]]: A CrossoverFic between WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse and WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse based around an alternate universe where Connie Maheswaran and Ronnie Anne Santiago- the quasi-love interests of Steven and Lincoln, respectively- have switched places entirely. Currently have three chapters written, wanted to know if I'm off to a good start, particularly in regards to the pacing (is it too slow?) and the prose (could some parts use some more detail/description?).
25th Mar '17 10:35:42 AM CrystalGlacia
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* @/SnowyFoxes: Born of Light, a fantasy novel and prequel to my main project.
15th Mar '17 6:19:16 PM TheAphid
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* @/TheAphid: Hey, again. This time I'd like some ConCrit on my first full novel, [[http://my.w.tt/UiNb/4hfzkcE6xB Shattered Perception]]. It's urban fantasy, though I shudder to throw around the word "fantasy" since I've put a ton of thought into how the power system works. Personally, I think I've done a much better job with pacing and description, but I'll let you be the judges.
10th Mar '17 9:45:02 PM CrystalGlacia
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* @/{{Polarity}}: [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8354619/1/Triforce-Of-The-Gods]]: A fanfic/novelization of The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past. I'm busy working on other projects, but I started out this one as a sort of test, to see if I could actually write a good story, or if my character interactions were effective. I'd hate to see this one go to waste, but I want reviews to see if it´s worth continuing.
3rd Mar '17 11:45:38 AM kegisak
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* @/((Kegisak}}: [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lJgQc-2e1qNGaQ25o_sKzYkeg9jhAh67Knb38gt6DOA/edit?usp=sharing Birthright: Chapter 1]]: Follows the Princess of the fantasy nation of Vikaasthan, after she's been kidnapped and replaced by a dragon bent on destroying a century of peace and progress. The first chapter of an original web novel. In addition to general feedback, I'm looking to strengthen it's 'hook' to draw in and keep readers. Currently in the first editing sweep.

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* @/((Kegisak}}: @/{{kegisak}}: [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lJgQc-2e1qNGaQ25o_sKzYkeg9jhAh67Knb38gt6DOA/edit?usp=sharing Birthright: Chapter 1]]: Follows the Princess of the fantasy nation of Vikaasthan, after she's been kidnapped and replaced by a dragon bent on destroying a century of peace and progress. The first chapter of an original web novel. In addition to general feedback, I'm looking to strengthen it's 'hook' to draw in and keep readers. Currently in the first editing sweep.
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