History Recap / GameOfThronesS2E4GardenOfBones

** Mind you, it's far more onscreen than the books, where we never get to see ANYTHING off it- only hear the after action reports being delivered to the Lannisters.
* OpenSecret: The rumours surrounding Renly and Loras are so widespread that even common soliders on the other side of the country mock their homosexuality.

It's a boat built for two, and Davos is not at ease with his passenger; Melisandre displays both fervent faith in R'hllor and BlackAndWhiteMorality, neither of which Davos (an atheist and a strong believer in relative morality) is fond of. She also seems confident in her sexuality, informing him that he wants to see what's beneath her robe. So she shows him. She is quite, quite pregnant, and she lays herself down on the beach to give birth to... some sort of... smoke-ghost-shadow-monster thing. Davos, horrified to find himself transplanted to ''{{LOST}}'', looks on as the smoke-monster climbs free of Melisandre's womb and launches itself on its mission, which happens to be [[SmashToBlack right behind the camera]]. Credits roll.

** Littlefinger claims that Arya is hostage along with Sansa, and tries to convince Catalyn that reports of his backstabbing Ned were greatly exaggerated.

** Littlefinger claims that Arya is hostage along with Sansa, and tries to convince Catalyn that reports of his backstabbing were greatly exaggerated.

* BlatantLies: Lancel's account of Robb's victory (that he used sorcery, turned his army into wolves and ate the corpses) is clearly rubbish, but it's unclear whether the horrified-looking courtiers actually believe it or are merely playing along.
** Littlefinger claims that Arya is hostage along with Sansa.

* SherlockScan: Tywin takes one look at "Arry" and immediately realises she's a girl. Fortunately, he's never seen Arya before so can't identify who exactly she is.

** Joffrey has two scenes in this episode, and both of them show that he's nourishing his sadistic streak as much as he can.

* [BigDamnHeroes: When Joffrey orders Meryn to beat up and strip Sansa (note: Sansa's a teenage girl getting the crap kicked out of her by a fully grown knight who's hitting her with his armoured fists and the flat of his sword), Tyrion and Bronn stride in to make the save in typical awesome fashion.

* FalseReassurance: Stannis tells Renly, "I will even name you my heir until a son is born to me." Melisandre gives a PsychoticSmirk at this, since she is pregnant with Stannis's "son," which is intended to assassinate Renly. It's unclear whether Stannis really intended to have Renly killed whether or not his surrendered.

Joffrey punishes Sansa for Robb’s victories, while Tyrion and Bronn scramble to temper the king’s cruelty. Catelyn entreats Stannis and Renly to forego their ambitions and unite against the Lannisters. Dany and her exhausted khalasar arrive at the gates of Qarth, a prosperous city with strong walls and rulers who greet her outside them. Tyrion coerces a queen’s man into being his eyes and ears. Arya and Gendry are taken to Harrenhal, where their lives rest in the hands of “The Mountain,” Gregor Clegane. Davos must revert to his old ways and smuggle Melisandre into a secret cove.

* WhatMeasureIsAMook: Averted and deconstructed brutally.

* AdaptationExpansion: all this stuff with Robb in the field had to be developed for the show. The novels stick to a strict SwitchingPOV scheme, and Robb is not one of the series' narrators, so we only hear about his exploits (via Catelyn) at second hand. Talisa is also a total CanonForeigner; see the recap of [[Recap/GameOfThronesS2E10ValarMorghulis the season's final episode]] for more details.

* [[BigDamnHeroes Big Damn Anti-Heroes]]: When Joffrey orders Meryn to beat up and strip Sansa (note: Sansa's a teenage girl getting the crap kicked out of her by a fully grown knight who's hitting her with his armoured fists and the flat of his sword), Tyrion and Bronn stride in to make the save in typical awesome fashion.

* [[EvenEvilHasStandards Even Sycophants Have Standards]]: The courtiers who stand around making horrified noises as Lancel relates Robb Stark's victory (see BlatantLies above) still seem shocked when Meryn starts beating Sansa.
* EvilTowerOfOminousness: The gigantic dilapidated castle of Harrenhal may have looked spooky and had a cursed reputation before, but after the Lannisters (and [[AxCrazy Ser Gregor Clegane]]) captured it for use as a base of operations in the Riverlands and an interrogation prison....
** Even its castle piece in the opening credits map is creepy, being the only set with [[NothingIsScarier no "clockwork" animations]]. Instead the camera focuses on the gaping hole in the central tower before panning back to reveal what seems like a set that might've moved before it was ruined by dragon-fire and turned into a collection of hideous burnt splinters.
* FalseReassurance: Stannis to Renly:
--> "I will even name you my heir until a son is born to me."
** Accompanied by a {{Foreshadowing}} PsychoticSmirk from Melisandre.
* FanDisservice: Melisandre is a beautiful woman, and it would be great to see her naked again, right? Not when she's used her magic to become heavily pregnant and ready to give birth to some shadow abomination.

* FandomNod: The "who would beat who" conversation at the beginning of the episode as well as the discussion of how to pronounce Qarth.

* {{Foreshadowing}}: [[spoiler:Where is [[LaResistance The Brotherhood]]? Also, Gendry's rather exasperated "I don't know what that is!"]]

* GoryDiscretionShot: Subverted. At first, a nightshot of Grey Wind lunging at a Lannister soldier is cut inmediately to Robb before fading to black - before cutting to broad daylight and show the same Lannister soldier torn open.

* PunchClockVillain: The opening scene is of two sentries for Stafford Lannister's army, clearly old friends who first play "Who would kick whose ass" with some of the war's biggest icons, then one pranks the other. [[MoodWhiplash And then they're both ravaged by Grey Wind.]]
* SamusIsAGirl: "Arry," to everyone's surprise, except Gendry's.

* TokenEvilTeammate: This episode has the first appearance of Roose Bolton, a Stark bannerman who fairly openly does not put a high value on mercy and honour.

* WhatTheHellHero: Catelyn gives a bollocking to both Renly and Stannis for fighting each other. Stannis does the same to her for apparently siding with Renly when her husband got his head chopped off for being true to Stannis, who is the rightful heir.
** Talisa's ArmorPiercingQuestion to Robb might count as this

The episode begins with a scene at Oxcross, introducing us to [[RedShirtArmy two Lannister guards]], who live just long enough to [[ToiletHumour make fart jokes]] and to let us know that just about all of Westeros know [[HoYay Renly and Loras's dirty little secret]] - and then as the fat bannerman unlaces his breeches to take a piss, [[BigBadassWolf DIREWOLF]]. Robb Stark listens to the screams as Grey Wind butchers the unsuspecting guards... [[BadassArmy his men]] [[BattleCry scream for him]], and they [[FoeTossingCharge charge...]]

It's a boat built for two, and Davos is not at ease with his passenger; Melisandre displays both fervent faith in R'hllor and BlackAndWhiteMorality, neither of which Davos (an atheist and a strong believer in relative morality) is fond of. She also seems confident in her sexuality, informing him that he wants to see what's beneath her robe. So she shows him. She is quite, quite pregnant, and she lays herself down on the beach to give birth to... some sort of... smoke-ghost-spirit-monster thing. Davos, horrified to find himself transplanted tp ''{{LOST}}'', looks on as the smoke-monster climbs free of Melisandre's womb and launches itself on its mission, which happens to be [[SmashToBlack right behind the camera]].

* GoryDiscretionShot: Subverted. At first, a nightshot of Grey Wind lunging at a Lannister soldier is cut inmediatly to Robb before fading to black - before cutting to broad daylight and show the same Lannister soldier torn open.

And we're back at Essos! Daenerys' rather pitiful looking band arrives at the gates of Qarth, and the Free City's austere-looking Guard and masters come to confront them.

* AdaptationalBadass: Xaro Xhoan Daxos: From the AmbiguouslyGay effeminate merchant prince to a sword wielding merchant prince. Perhaps he'll have better luck with [[spoiler: his entreaties to Daenerys to marry him.]]

* AdaptationalBadass: Xaro Xhoan Daxos: From the AmbiguouslyGay effeminate merchant prince to a sword wielding merchant prince.

And then we return to King's Landing. Joffrey, the charming lad he is has a massive crossbow propped over his shoulder, aimed at poor Sansa Stark. "You're here to answer for your brother's latest treasons," he sneers, no doubt referring to the CurbStompBattle aftermath we'd just seen. Sansa pleads for mercy, as she had nothing to do with it. Lancel Lannister -- remember him? He was King Robert's squire and was [[KissingCousins '''with''' Queen Cersei in Season 1!]] He reports that the Northern army savaged the noble Lannister host at Oxcross, [[ImAHumanitarian feasting on the dead after the slaughter was over]], much to the horror of the ladies and nobles of the court. Joffrey ponders killing his betrothed right there and then, but "my mother insists on keeping you alive." So he just gets his loyal Kingsguard, Ser Meryn Trant to beat her up (again), ripping her dress as well (the scene in the book was worse). Just as Trant's about to bring his unsheathed sword down upon her, it's [[BigDamnHeroes Tyrion and Bronn to the rescue!]]. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome The halfman schools his reproachable nephew, and Bronn puts Trant in his place]]. Sansa's saved, but when Tyrion tries to console her she retains her [[StepfordSmiler courtly demeanor, insisting once more that she's loyal to King Joffrey, her one true love]]. Tyrion, [[UnderStatement seeing through the rather blatant guise]] remarks that Lady Stark might survive them yet.

While Sansa leaves, Bronn and Tyrion have a short exchange about Joffrey's rather vicious temperament. [[YouNeedToGetLaid They entertain the idea of prostitutes to soothe Joffrey.]] Tyrion seems convinced. And then we see Sandor Clegane waiting patiently for his prince. "What are you doing here, dog?" asks Joffrey. He replies that his uncle has sent him his nameday present. "And? What is it?" Joffrey asks. "Look inside, your grace." He obliges. It's Ros again, and this time with another whore of her employ. "Touch her", he commands. GirlOnGirlIsHot, after all. But this quickly turns to Squick as he gets some sadistic thrills from watching Ros spank the other girl. First with her palm, then with his belt... when it seems to get uncomfortable, Joffrey's not sated. "Harder," he snaps at Ros. And then he hands her a [[OhCrap large scepter/truncheon with the stag head of Baratheon.]] Poor Ros is visibly spooked and squicked out now, and her fellow prostitute is a quivering, sobbing mess. "Your grace... too much pain will spoil the pleasure," Ros pleads. But Joffrey's not listening. He's cranking up his crossbow, and then turns to death threats. "You will bring her to his chambers and show him what you've done," Joffrey says. "Or the same thing will happen to you. Begin," he says, crossbow pointed at them. We get a ScreamDiscretionShot with Joffrey looking pretty entertained. "HARDER," he says as the scene changes.

As their conversation ends we see a terribly maimed Lannister soldier being held down by a Silent Sister, as well as another healer. They struggle to restrain him as they ready themselves to amputate his gangrenous limb, much to the boy's frantic assurances that he's fine. He doesn't want to be a cripple! Robb and Roose approach, with the latter informing the girl that one of the wounded Northerners deserves such treatment more than a Lannister. She retorts that "Your men are not my men, my lord." Robb helps the healer hold the boy down, offering him a cloth to bite into as they amputate. As his foot is [[GoryDiscretionShot removed]], Robb's [[LoveAtFirstSight seemingly transfixed with the girl]] as she does her bloody work. Once it's all over, Robb speaks to the woman, who calls herself Talisa. She refuses to tell him her last name, and for what side her family fights on. She confronts him angrily about ravaging the Westerlands, and killing innocent conscripts -- the boy that they just amputated was just a fisherboy from Lannisport, who "had probably never held a spear until they shoved one in his hands a few months ago." They argue about the war and its effects: Robb states that he wants to kill Joffrey, but has no intention to take the Iron Throne. Talisa replies that he's [[TheResistance "fighting to overthrow a King]], yet you have no plan what comes after?" The Stark replies that "First we have to win the war." As Talisa leaves, Robb asks where she's from. [[NonSpecificallyForeign "Volantis,"]] is her answer. Robb thanks her for saving the boy's life, saying that he was lucky that she was here. "He was unlucky that you were," she says.

** A particularly horrible kind involving a rat and a hot bucket.[[hottip:*:The bucket is held open-end against the chest, the bottom heated by torch, with the rat clawing through the victim's chest to avoid the heat]] For anyone wondering, [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel such a torture]] [[TruthInTelevision has been used in]] RealLife.

* EvilTowerOfOminousness: The gigantic dilapidated castle of Harrenhal may have looked spooky and had a cursed reputation before, but after the Lannisters (and [[AxCrazy Ser Gregor Clegane]]) captured it for use as a base of operations in the Riverlands and an interrogation prison...[[HighOctaneNightmareFuel yeah]].

* HighOctaneNightmareFuel: Particularly high in this one.

And we cut to Arya Stark with Hot Pie and Gendry. They approach Harrenhal, and it's a foreboding, mucky looking place -- its fortifications look as if they've been weathered and sloughed off. "What kind of fire melts stone?" asks Gendry. "Dragonfire," she replies. "There's dragons here?" Hot Pie asks meekly. Gendry replies that they're all dead. The fat boy asks what the smell is. "Dead people", Arya says simply. Hot Pie quails and a Lannister guardsman shoves them to the side. We see listless prisoners watching as [[ScreamDiscretionShot people are tortured]] [[GoreDiscretionShot horribly]]... one of the prisoners, an old lady remarks dully of the deaths of all of her family in the days past... the screams they heard just then were her son's. "They take someone every day," Gendry says. It's pissing rain in the next scene, and the roughed up prisoners are attempting to sleep. Arya whispers a long series of names... Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne to name a few. Just like [[BadAss Yoren]] did, as we learned in the last episode.

While Sansa leaves, Bronn and Tyrion have a short exchange about Joffrey's rather vicious temperament. [[YouNeedToGetLaid They entertain the idea of prostitutes to soothe Joffrey.]] Tyrion seems convinced. And then we see Sandor Clegane waiting patiently for his prince. "What are you doing here, dog?" asks Joffrey. He replies that his uncle has sent him his nameday present. "And? What is it?" Joffrey asks. "Look inside, your grace." He obliges. It's Ros again, and this time with another whore of her employ. "Touch her", he commands. GirlOnGirlIsHot, after all. But this quickly turns to Squick as he gets some sadistic thrills from watching Ros spank the other girl. First with her palm, then with his belt... when it seems to get uncomfortable, Joffrey's not sated. "Harder," he snaps at Ros. And then he hands her a [[OhCrap large scepter/truncheon with the stag head of Baratheon.]] Poor Ros is visibly spooked and [[Squick squicked out]] now, and her fellow prostitute is a quivering, sobbing mess. "Your grace... too much pain will spoil the pleasure," Ros pleads. But Joffrey's not listening. He's cranking up his crossbow, and then turns to death threats. "You will bring her to his chambers and show him what you've done," Joffrey says. "Or the same thing will happen to you. Begin," he says, crossbow pointed at them. We get a ScreamDiscretionShot with Joffrey looking pretty entertained. "HARDER," he says as the scene changes.

While Sansa leaves, Bronn and Tyrion have a short exchange about Joffrey's rather vicious temperament. [[YouNeedToGetLaid They entertain the idea of prostitutes to soothe Joffrey.]] Tyrion seems convinced. And then we see Sandor Clegane waiting patiently for his prince. "What are you doing here, dog?" asks Joffrey. He replies that his uncle has sent him his nameday present. "And? What is it?" Joffrey asks. "Look inside, your grace." He obliges. It's Ros again, and this time with another whore of her employ. "Touch her", he commands. GirlOnGirlIsHot, after all. But this quickly turns to [[Squick]] as he gets some sadistic thrills from watching Ros spank the other girl. First with her palm, then with his belt... when it seems to get uncomfortable, Joffrey's not sated. "Harder," he snaps at Ros. And then he hands her a [[OhCrap large scepter/truncheon with the stag head of Baratheon.]] Poor Ros is visibly spooked and [[Squick squicked out]] now, and her fellow prostitute is a quivering, sobbing mess. "Your grace... too much pain will spoil the pleasure," Ros pleads. But Joffrey's not listening. He's cranking up his crossbow, and then turns to death threats. "You will bring her to his chambers and show him what you've done," Joffrey says. "Or the same thing will happen to you. Begin," he says, crossbow pointed at them. We get a ScreamDiscretionShot with Joffrey looking pretty entertained. "HARDER," he says as the scene changes.

And then we return to King's Landing. Joffrey, the charming lad he is has a massive crossbow propped over his shoulder, aimed at poor Sansa Stark. "You're here to answer for your brother's latest treasons," he sneers, no doubt referring to the CurbStompBattle aftermath we'd just seen. Sansa pleads for mercy, as she had nothing to do with it. Lancel Lannister -- remember him? He was King Robert's squire and was [[KissingCousins '''with''' Queen Cersei in Season 1!]] He reports that the Northern army savaged the noble Lannister host at Oxcross, [[ImAHumanitarian feasting on the dead after the slaughter was over]], much to the horror of the ladies and nobles of the court. Joffrey ponders killing his betrothed right there and then, but "my mother insists on keeping you alive." So he just gets his loyal Kingsguard, Ser Meryn Trant to beat her up (again), ripping her dress as well (the scene in the book was worse). Just as Trant's about to bring his unsheathed sword down upon her, it's [[BigDamnHeroes Tyrion and Bronn to the rescue!]]. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome The halfman schools his reproachable nephew, and Bronn puts Trant in his place]]. Sansa's saved, but when Tyrion tries to console her she retains her [[StepfordSmiler courtly demeanor, insisting once more that she's loyal to King Joffrey, her one true love]]. Tyrion, [[Understatement seeing through the rather blatant guise]] remarks that Lady Stark might survive them yet.

And then we return to King's Landing. Joffrey, the charming lad he is has a massive crossbow propped over his shoulder, aimed at poor Sansa Stark. "You're here to answer for your brother's latest treasons," he sneers, no doubt referring to the CurbsStompBattle aftermath we'd just seen. Sansa pleads for mercy, as she had nothing to do with it. Lancel Lannister -- remember him? He was King Robert's squire and was [[KissingCousins '''with''' Queen Cersei in Season 1!]] He reports that the Northern army savaged the noble Lannister host at Oxcross, [[ImAHumanitarian feasting on the dead after the slaughter was over]], much to the horror of the ladies and nobles of the court. Joffrey ponders killing his betrothed right there and then, but "my mother insists on keeping you alive." So he just gets his loyal Kingsguard, Ser Meryn Trant to beat her up (again), ripping her dress as well (the scene in the book was worse). Just as Trant's about to bring his unsheathed sword down upon her, it's [[BigDamnHeroes Tyrion and Bronn to the rescue!]]. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome The halfman schools his reproachable nephew, and Bronn puts Trant in his place]]. Sansa's saved, but when Tyrion tries to console her she retains her [[StepfordSmiler courtly demeanor, insisting once more that she's loyal to King Joffrey, her one true love]]. Tyrion, [[Understatement seeing through the rather blatant guise]] remarks that Lady Stark might survive them yet.

The episode begins with introducing us to two Lannister guards, who live just long enough to make fart jokes and to let us know that just about all of Westeros know Renly and Loras's dirty little secret - and then, DIREWOLF. Robb listens to the screams, his men scream for him, and they charge...