History Quotes / ViewersAreMorons

-->-- '''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/clinging-to-the-skin-of-this-tiny-little-world-the-tv-movie/ Dr. El Sandifer]]''', "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoTVMTheTVMovie}} The TV Movie]]"

-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/voyager-season-four.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Mortal Coil"

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS8E14TheItchyAndScrathcyAndPoochieShow The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochy Show]]"

->''The mass is foolish, and since it pays it ''[the play]'', it is fair to speak foolish to give it joy.''
-->-- '''Creator/LopeDeVega'''

->''My standard for verisimilitude is simple and I came to it when I started to write prose narrative: fuck the average reader. I was always told to write for the average reader in my newspaper life. The average reader, as they meant it, was some suburban white subscriber with two-point-whatever kids and three-point-whatever cars and a dog and a cat and lawn furniture. He knows nothing and he needs everything explained to him right away, so that exposition becomes this incredible, story-killing burden. Fuck him. Fuck him to hell.''

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochy Show"

-->--Writer '''Paul Dini''', [[http://kingofbreakfast.livejournal.com/72294.html describing cliches]] of animated features (mostly referring to the early 90's Creator/{{Disney}} features)

-->-- '''Creator/DaveChappelle''' after being drowned out at a stand-up show by the audience screaming "I'm Rick James, bitch!"

->"Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart; incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things."

->''"Important writers! Remember when Creator/{{NBC}} tried to beef up their Sunday nights with important writers? Plays by Robert Sherwood -- Thornton Wilder -- Ferenc Molnar. Important enough for you? ...So what happened? I'll tell you what: Forty million people nearly broke off their dials turning back to Ed Sullivan to watch a dog fart 'The Star-Spangled Banner!'"''

'''''*BUZZER*''''' "No, lose a point...the most relevant fact in the murder case was the fact that [='=][[AC:[[ShapedLikeItself somebody got murdered]] ]][='=], which I thought had only been put on the list for completeness’ sake! The game does shit like this quite a few times. Have you had any ambition to challenge us with actual deductive puzzles? or are you just content to poke us every 20 minutes so we don’t fall asleep?"

-->-- '''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice - [[https://youtu.be/npEX8uRvUEo DARK LORDS]]'''

->''"In any case, we felt *action* should be emphasized over *plot* -- especially avoiding any complicated story line -- to ensure the success of this series with its intended viewers."''

->''It's why ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone'' was renamed ''Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'', because studios are convinced you're one retarded spasm away from flopping into a river and drowning because [[TooDumbToLive the mittens pinned to your coat caught on a log]] at all times.''

->''"Remember how in ''[[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty Sons of Liberty]]'' Raiden was supposed to represent the player? It's no unforseen accident that he became unpopular. [[Creator/HideoKojima Kojima]] wanted to leave the series on a question mark, forcing players to examine and re-examine the game from every angle, until they found the deeper messages hidden between the lines. But, unfortunately for him, he overestimated the intelligence of his fanbase... This is where Raiden's transformation becomes iconic. Instead of listening to the advice of Snake, Raiden continued to allow his past to haunt him and determine his future. He [[AesopAmnesia didn't take a new name, start over, or see Rose for what she was.]] Likewise, players refused to give ''[=MGS2=]'' a second chance and find the deeper meanings; in this sense, Raiden [[StrawFan still represents the player]]... Seeing that his preaching was in vain, Kojima gave up on enlightening the players (like Snake [[SillyRabbitIdealismIsForKids gave up on Philanthropy]],) and simply let Raiden become [[TestosteronePoisoning a badass killing machine with a big manly dick]]. Awesome!"''

->''"The car now re-entered the main hall, but to [[spoiler:Sarah’s]] surprise the decor had changed. [[ItMakesSenseInContext Gone were the gothic furnishings of the haunted house, and in their place was a glitzy high school prom.]] Davina[[spoiler: and Neve]] were nowhere to be seen, but standing in the centre of the stage were a young couple, smiling and waving ecstatically to the audience. The guy was sporting a flashy suit and an outdated perm, while the girl had straight sandy hair and a billowing white dress. “Literature/{{Carrie}}”, whispered [[spoiler:Sarah]] to herself."''

->'''Director Stuart Baird''': So Picard's clone is just like him, then?\\

'''Baird:''' But he's got to be bald. Because if he's not bald, then the audience -- even if we tell them -- still won't understand the he's Picard's clone, 'cause Picard is ''the bald Captain.'' If he's not bald then no one will understand what happ--\\

-->-- '''WebVideo/ThirdRateGamer''' on VideoGame/CoolSpot

->'''Fry''': Married? Jenny can't get married.\\
'''Leela''': Why not? It's clever, it's unexpected.\\
'''Fry''': But that's not why people watch TV. Clever things make people feel stupid, and unexpected things make them feel scared.

->You kids don't know what you want! That's why you're still kids -- ''' 'cause you're stupid!'''

->''Trust me, this process is so simple you could break out the Crayolas and storyboard the whole thing yourself using nothing more complicated than stick figures and tracings of your own hand. Be warned however, most studio execs don't have the attention span to follow the most energetic and entertaining of storyboard pitches for more than three minutes before they start checking their Blackberries for their lunch reservations. The good news is these story elements are so tried and true (translation: stale) that even the simplest of readers will get it and enthusiastically pass it along to their boss, who still won't read it but will take credit for all the amusing gags once he sees the completed picture.''

->''Yes, in those days plays were literally ''melo''-dramas; dramas with musical accompaniment somewhat on the order of the Warner Bros. movie music of the day which drove Creator/BetteDavis wild... halfway up the stairs Bette stopped and turned to fix the director, Irving Rapper, with her famed steely gaze. "Now tell me, Irving, before I waste any more time on acting, who is going up these stairs to die, [[SorryILeftTheBGMOn me or Max Steiner?]]" Like most of the great actresses she hated the schmaltzy movie music that was added later by some director-editor in order to nudge--[[{{Anvilicious}} shove]]--the audience into sobs or laughter.''

->"We had so many smart fans that bought into it hook, like and sinker...That's the beauty of it. Whenever anyone tells me they're a {{smart mark}}, I say, Yeah, but the key word there, still, is that you're a '''mark.'''

->''The first clue]] is the hilarious profusion of clocks inside the TARDIS. Part of this is a matter of packing in the 'he’s British!' signifiers, which, in American, means having him [[QuintessentialBritishGentleman wear a frock coat and be old-fashioned]], so lots of clocks and candles in the TARDIS. But it also is the most crassly literal-minded interpretation of 'Time Lord' imaginable. The Doctor has a TARDIS full of clocks to demonstrate that he’s a Time Lord, and for no other reason.''

-->-- '''Émilie Masse''', ''VideoGame/DeusExHumanRevolution

->'''Jay:''' There's this line from Creator/YaphatKotto where he says, "ASH WAS A GODDAMN ANDROID!" He says it offscreen; it's ADR'ed. And that's the studio saying, "We need to explain what this milk-man is. They're not gonna get that [[RoboticReveal he's a robot.]]"\\

->You people! If there isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing, is it?!

->''"Listen. The yucks who look at television don't know the difference between Creator/ErnestHemingway and ''Huntz Hall.'' What do they care about important writers? What they want is shows where [[{{Slapstick}} one guy kicks another guy in the belly]] while a dame leans over 'em with [[MaleGaze her cakes falling out of her negligee]]. Or domestic comedies where the whole family gets together to screw gruff old Dad. Or quiz shows where [[Series/TwentyOne people get put in isolation booths]] and develop coronary occlusion before your very eyes... Important writers! Remember when Creator/{{NBC}} tried to beef up their Sunday nights with important writers? Plays by Robert Sherwood -- Thornton Wilder -- Ferenc Molnar. Important enough for you? ...So what happened? I'll tell you what: Forty million people nearly broke off their dials turning back to Ed Sullivan to watch a dog fart 'The Star-Spangled Banner!'"''

'''Sean / Beverly:''' ''Yes.''\\

'''Myra:''' ...The writer guy?\\

->Why are we even going after this idiot demographic?

->'''Creator/WayneBrady:''' (''in Southern accent'') Yea, [[Theatre/TheTwoGentlemenOfVerona the two revenuers from Verona approacheth]]!
->(''dead silence'')
->'''Wayne:''' (''in normal voice'') [[TakeThatAudience Read a book, people]]!

->Your opinions have been variously described as "rabid", "pig-ignorant" and "stultifyingly ill-informed". Thanks for those.

->'''Jay:''' There's this line from Yaphat Kotto where he says, "ASH WAS A GODDAMN ANDROID!" He says it offscreen; it's ADR'ed. And that's the studio saying, "We need to explain what this milk man is. They're not gonna get that [[RoboticReveal he's a robot.]]"\\
'''Mike:''' "They're gonna think he's just filled with cum."\\

->''"I found that the greatest danger was overthinking things. [='=][[AC:what is the most relevant fact?]][='=] the game might ask, listing everything we have established from [[SherlockScan blundering around the given scene]]. 'Hmm' thinks I, 'well, perhaps the fact that the victim was killed with their own gun, indicating that the perpetrator probably hadn’t premeditated the crime. That seems like the biggest lead at present. Was that what I was supposed to click on?'"''\\\
'''''*BUZZER*'''''\\\
''"No, lose a point...the most relevant fact in the murder case was the fact that [='=][[AC:[[ShapedLikeItself somebody got murdered]] ]][='=], which I thought had only been put on the list for completeness’ sake! The game does shit like this quite a few times. Have you had any ambition to challenge us with actual deductive puzzles? or are you just content to poke us every twenty minutes so we don’t fall asleep?"''

->''"The more substance and talking points you have in a show, the less attention you'll pay to the commercial break. Your mind would be too busy digesting and pondering the new information that was just received. U.S. media just can't have that. That would be a bullet in the heart of consumerism, capitalism, and the American Dream."''

->''"The 'wealth gap' we often hear about is equaled by the 'intelligence gap' that is kept secret...Instead of creating better ads, you destroy the type of thinking that resists ads. Instead of creating superior products, you emotionally cripple people to the point where they feel secretly desperate to buy your product simply in order to feel normal and accepted by society."''

->''"The [[ThisIsGonnaSuck first clue]] is the hilarious profusion of clocks inside the TARDIS. Part of this is a matter of packing in the “he’s British!” signifiers, which, in American, means having him [[QuintessentialBritishGentleman wear a frock coat and be old-fashioned]], so lots of clocks and candles in the TARDIS. But it also is the most crassly [[LiteralMinded literal-minded]] interpretation of 'Time Lord' imaginable. The Doctor has a TARDIS full of clocks to demonstrate that he’s a Time Lord, and for no other reason."''

->''"Cut back to the (sigh) vampire chicks drinking it up and talking about how wonderful they all are... Buffy, just for fun, smacks Lana across the room and down the stairs, killing her. That's a KO. She comes back from the dead, of course, amazingly happy that she'll live forever. Such extrapolation, I mean, I'm serious. [[CaptainObvious No one would have known vampires live forever]] without that extrapolating dialogue."''
-->-- '''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville5-ep05 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Thirst")

->''"Why do the writers feel the need to point out that this episode is about Neelix by him suddenly becoming flavour of the month in the pre-credits sequence? It's like they don’t trust us to think that he is invaluable without showing us. Seriously, [[TheMainCharactersDoEverything every bugger and his dog needs him for something]] in the opening five minutes! It would a far better jolt to the system had he fallen ill in the course of a normal episode. If you treat the audience like idiots you get an idiotic audience."''

->''"See, because in America, all anyone understands is [[ToiletHumor farting]] and the nuanced humor of Creator/LarryTheCableGuy. It's why ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone'' was renamed ''Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone'', because studios are convinced you're one retarded spasm away from flopping into a river and drowning because [[TooDumbToLive the mittens pinned to your coat caught on a log]] at all times."''

->''"Our story begins in the near future of 2017, during the Second American Civil War, which we know because the producers are kind enough to give us an opening crawl... We’re also told that Steel Harbor is 'the last Free City,' whatever the hell that means. Incidentally, in case you wandered in late, Barb Wire herself will give us [[ViewersAreGoldfish this exact same information]] after the opening sequence. Can’t decide whether to do a crawl or have your main character do a voiceover? Do both!"''

->''"A handy subtitle tells us that this is [='=]''Jamaica, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Caribbean]] -- 1668.''[='=] Wow. Gee, thanks. I would have never guessed which Jamaica this is without the clue. Being a pirate movie and all, maybe it's set in the Jamaica found in the Mediterranean or Jamaica, Sea of Japan. [[CausticCritic I'm just in a bad mood.]]"''

->''"There was a cynical chuckle I heard when ''Film/SynecdocheNewYork'' ended. A chuckle I am familiar with due to my frequent trips to the theaters. It was a chuckle as if to say ''"What did I get into? Boy that Creator/CharlieKaufman is a goofball! This movie was so terrible and confusing, I missed out on [[GoodOlBoy NASCAR]] and my ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'' re-runs for this. You dragged me to see this art house crap? I never passed the third grade."''\\\
Yup, that chuckle said all that."''

->''Brenna refused to believe it when I told her that the plot revolves around the Empress of Time, who lives on the Island of Time where the Sands [[OverlyLongGag (all together now) OF TIME]] were created. All the same, that's the kind of situation we're talking about. Jesus Christ, people. Just call the island fucking Chronos or something. [[XtremeKoolLetterz Spell it with a K]] if you have to. I can figure out that there’s some kind of'' time ''thing going on.''

->''"To court a casual audience is to lose a casual audience. Because casual audiences don't decide what to play, they are simply told what to play!"''

'''Berman:''' ''(barely awake)'' Yeah.\\

->''"Good thing this can of spay paint turned into a [[AC:'Small Objects']] when I picked it up. I'd hate to actually think for ''myself'' about whether a spray can of paint was small."''

'''Bob:''' Would you? Because that would really help!

->''"It is simplicity that makes the uneducated more effective than the educated when addressing popular audiences."''

->''"There's a sucker born every minute."''

->''"While you're playing cards with a regular guy or having a bite to eat with him, he seems a peaceable, good-humoured and not entirely dense person. But just begin a conversation with him about [[ThisLoserIsYou something inedible]], politics or science, for instance, and he ends up in a deadend or starts in on such an obtuse and base philosophy that you can only wave your hand and leave."''

->''"All propaganda must be popular and its intellectual level must be adjusted to the most limited intelligence among those it is addressed to. Consequently, the greater the mass it is intended to reach, the lower its purely intellectual level will have to be. But if, as in propaganda for sticking out a war, the aim is to influence a whole people, we must avoid excessive intellectual demands on our public, and too much caution cannot be extended in this direction."''

->''"Yes, in those days plays were literally ''melo''-dramas; dramas with musical accompaniment somewhat on the order of the Warner Bros. movie music of the day which drove Creator/BetteDavis wild... halfway up the stairs Bette stopped and turned to fix the director, Irving Rapper, with [[DeathGlare her famed steely gaze]]. "Now tell me, Irving, before I waste any more time on acting, who is going up these stairs to die, [[SorryILeftTheBGMOn me or Max Steiner?]]" Like most of the great actresses she hated the schmaltzy movie music that was added later by some director-editor in order to nudge--[[{{Anvilicious}} shove]]--the audience into sobs or laughter."''

->''"Gotta love April Fools Day. Not that that's going to stop any of you from e-mailing me about this comic thinking it's real."''

->''"You know why my show is good? Because the network officials say you're not smart enough to get what I'm doing, and every day I fight for you. I tell them how smart you are. Turns out, I was wrong. You people are stupid."''

->''"People aren't as stupid as you think, they're even stupider."''

->''"Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart; incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things."''

->''"I've already got your money, dude."''

->''"We had so many smart fans that bought into it hook, like and sinker...That's the beauty of it. Whenever anyone tells me they're a {{smart mark}}, I say, "Yeah, but the key word there, still, is that you're a '''mark.'''""''

->''"The main characters in ''Film/ReadyToRumble'', a mainstream movie about wrestlers that supposedly catered to wrestling fans, were portrayed as [[StrawFan the dumbest human beings walking the planet]]. Advertisers shied away from buying time on wrestling shows because they believed wrestling fans were dumber and poorer than the average buyer."''

->''"The mass is foolish, and since it pays it [the play], it is fair to speak foolish to give it joy."''

->''"My standard for verisimilitude is simple and I came to it when I started to write prose narrative: fuck the average reader. I was always told to write for the average reader in my newspaper life. The average reader, as they meant it, was some suburban white subscriber with two-point-whatever kids and three-point-whatever cars and a dog and a cat and lawn furniture. He knows nothing and he needs everything explained to him right away, so that exposition becomes this incredible, story-killing burden. Fuck him. Fuck him to hell."''

->''"[T]here is no denying that if you think in terms of tired untutored minds with underdeveloped tastes needing an occasional escape through relaxation, you will have to admit that the best prescription is a well-mixed potpourri of popular entertainment. And that is exactly what is being contrived and will, I suspect, continue to be contrived for a long time yet."''

-->-- '''Stig 'Stikkan' Anderson''', Former manager of ''Music/{{ABBA}}''

[[folder: Film - Live Action]]

->''"To court a casual audience is to lose a casual audience. Because casual audiences don't decide what to play, they are simply told what to play!"
-->'''WebVideo/TheRageaholic'''

-->-- '''Lope de Vega'''

->''"Why are we even going after this idiot demographic?"''

->''Explain {{webcomic/xkcd}}: It's 'cause you're dumb.''

-->-- '''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/clinging-to-the-skin-of-this-tiny-little-world-the-tv-movie/ Dr. Phil Sandifer]]''', "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoTVMTheTVMovie}} The TV Movie]]"

[[folder:podcasts]]

[[folder:web animation]]

[[folder:web original]]

[[folder:web video]]

[[folder:western animation]]

[[folder:real life]]

-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/12/clinging-to-skin-of-this-tiny-little.html Dr. Phil Sandifer]]''', "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoTVMTheTVMovie}} The TV Movie]]"

->''"The mass is foolish, and since it pays [the play], it is fair to speak foolish to give it pleasure."''