History Quotes / TurnOfTheMillennium

-> "A decade without any flavor or style whatsoever..."
-> "2000-2010 was a shitty decade. I like [[TheNewTens this decade]] better! I have a smartphone now!"

->You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is [[Music/{{Eminem}} a white guy]], the best golfer is [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Woods a black guy]], the [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yao_Ming tallest guy in the NBA]] is Chinese, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alinghi the Swiss]] hold the America's Cup, [[TheWarOnTerror France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war]], and the three most powerful men in America are named "[[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush Bush]]", "[[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Cheney Dick]]", and "[[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colin_Powell Colon]]".

[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
->So, what you're telling me is that the music is about to stop, and we're going to be left holding the biggest bag of odorous excrement ever assembled in the history of capitalism.
-->-- '''John Tuld''', ''Film/MarginCall''
[[/folder]]

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
->''"Well, [[Theatre/AllsWellThatEndsWell all’s well that ends well.]] Though that’s easy for Shakespeare to say -- he’ll be around for another millennium. But what of our own millennium? will it all end well? No one of course can know, but that of course doesn’t stop anyone from guessing. And the nature of these predictions always revolve around the usual suspects: salvation and/or self–satisfaction. With that in mind, I humbly add my own prophecy of what the dawn of the new millennium shall bring forth: one thousand more years of the same, old crap."''
-->--'''Jose Chung''', ''{{Series/Millennium}}''

->21st century history is not one of my strong points. Too depressing.
-->-- '''Dr. Julian Bashir''', ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "Past Tense: Part I"
->The 21st century is when [[SugarApocalypse everything changes]], and you've gotta be ready.
-->-- '''Jack Harkness''', ''{{Series/Torchwood}}''

->A black man will be elected President of the United States. --I'm sorry, that's in the year ''[[ItWillNeverCatchOn 10,000.]]''
-->-- '''Creator/ConanOBrien''', "In the Year 2000"
[[/folder]]

->''It is the distant future... [[{{Zeerust}} the Year 2000]]''
-->-- "Robots (The Humans are Dead)", '''Music/FlightOfTheConchords'''

->''Frankly, Mr Shankly, I'm a sickening wreck\\
I've got the 21st century breathing down my neck''
-->-- "Frankly, Mr. Shankly", '''Music/TheSmiths'''

->''Is this not the rat age\\
The demented Photostat age\\
The time of no room?\\
We've broken the genetic code\\
And [[IWantMyJetpack left it bleeding by the road]]\\
Where murderers loom''
-->-- "The Rat Age", '''T. Bone Burnett'''

->''Got no car\\
Got no money\\
I got nothin' nothin' nothin' not at all\\
Got no god\\
Got no girlfriend\\
Got no god, got no girlfriend, and I know\\
I know that neither want me\\
No hope kids are bruised''
-->--"No Hope Kids", '''Wavves'''

->I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm gender-specific, captial-intensive, user-friendly, and lactose-intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hard''[[TheInternetIsForPorn core]]''; no soft porn! I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore! I eat fast food in the slow lane! I'm toll-free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes! A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle! I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity!
-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', "Modern Man"

->We're a heavily medicated society. All the drugs we take: Prozac, Effexor, Valium. I thought [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush for the last ten years]], we've been on some weird fucking drug -- the whole country -- called 'Fukitol.' What a weird fucking drug. [[WhatDidIDoLastNight And we're just coming out of it and we're kind of waking up]]. Fuckin' A! It's weird: It's like you're going, 'last thing I remember was the economy was working and [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton there was a budget surplus]].... What about the economy?' Well, we had to bail out the banks. '[[AesopAmnesia Again?]]' Fuck, yeah! 'And now who's the president?' A black guy. 'Yeah, right. Yeah, there's a black president and a Latino on the Supreme Court.' There is. 'Oh, my God! Who's the president? Jesse Jackson?' No, his name is [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack Hussein Obama]].' '''Now''' you're fucking with me!'
-->-- '''Creator/RobinWilliams''', ''Weapons of Self-Destruction''

->The price of petroleum has skyrocketed and the world economy in confusion. The 21st century was expected to be one of chaos.
-->-- '''''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid''''', dossier on the [[VideoGame/MetalGear2SolidSnake Zanzibar Land]] disturbance

->After Y2K, the end of the world had become a cliché. But who was I to talk? ...Everything was subjective. There were only personal apocalypses. Nothing is a cliché when it's happening to you.
-->-- '''VideoGame/MaxPayne'''

->'''[=00s=]:''' The numerals spell it all. Zero economic opportunity after college, zero sense in the general public, cultural zeroes, zero understanding and tolerance, [[LowestCommonDenominator near zero entertainment]], [[SleazyPolitician politicians with zero intelligence and zero scruples]], hysteria, panic, hatred and witch hunt frenzy stirred up by political cretins and [[YouMayPanicNow a sensationalistic zero IQ media]] (esp. TV news). It's the Decade of Duh.
-->--'''''Website/UrbanDictionary'''''

->As we move into 2012, the [[MayanDoomsday final year of human existence]], I wanted to take a look back on the last great apocalypse-- {{Y2K}}. We've rebuilt society since the Millennium Bug destroyed everything we knew, but for what? So our souls look better as they're being pulled from the gnarled teeth of Ah Pukuh in twelve months?
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-real-survival-guides-one-very-fake-apocalypse/ "10 Real Survival Guides For One Very Fake Apocalypse"]]

->''VideoGame/SmashTV'' takes place in the grim, cold future of 1999, only a few short years after the conquest of Earth by the [[VideoGame/RevolutionX New Order Nation]].
-->-- '''''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/smashtv/smashtv.htm Hardcore Gaming 101]]'''''

->I’m sure you’re like [='=]''{{Series/Punkd}}''? How current. What’s next, a BREAKING story from the set of ''Series/PimpMyRide''?', but honestly, this story is worth traveling back in time to 2003. Dust off your [[{{Hipster}} Von Dutch trucker hat]] and grab a Pepsi Twist (remember that shit? It was like drinking cola-flavored Pledge)
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/09/22/and-now-for-the-time-justin-timberlake-threatened-to-kick-dax-shepards-ass-on-the-set-of-punkd/ Michael K.]]''', "And Now For The Time Music/JustinTimberlake Threatened To Kick Dax Shepard's Ass On The Set Of ''Punk’d''"

->[[{{Website/Facebook}} Zuckerberg]] is a billionaire of the modern age. Call me old-fashioned, but I like men who are able to buy and sell control of my fate to look the part. There's something too humiliating about being inferior to someone who needs to [[EnsignNewbie be told not to wear socks with sandals.]]
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-that-werent-always-this-terrible_p2/ "4 Things That Weren't Always This Terrible"]]

->The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future}} is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror.
-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/03/pop-between-realities-home-in-time-for.html Dr. El Sandifer]]'''

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm2009'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s ''“we will fight them on the beaches”'' speech...Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around [[ViewersAreGoldfish vacuous sound bytes]].
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2009/11/10/man-launches-attack-on-pat-kenny-english-language/#more-2081 Darren Mooney]]'''

->...twentieth century and Second Christian Millennium are saying goodbye. Personally, I thought they'd never go [[TheGreatDepression without]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII taking us]] [[UsefulNotes/ColdWar with them]].
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Vanity Fair'', 1999

->I came of age in {{the Sixties}}, when there were chances, when it was all there waiting. Now they seep out of school -- to what? To nothing, to fuck-all. The young (you can see it in their faces), the stegosaurus-rugged no-hopers, the parrot-crested blankies -- they’ve come up with an appropriate response to this, which is: nothing. Which is nothing, which is fuck-all. The dole-queue starts at the exit to the playground.
-->-- '''Martin Amis''', ''Money''

->[[TechnologyMarchesOn I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry.]] Not that that tells us very much of course--the computer industry didn't even foresee that [[MillenniumBug the century was going to end.]]
-->-- '''Creator/DouglasAdams'''

->''"We are the youth We'll take your Fascism away.\\
We are the youth apologise for another day.\\
We are the youth and politicians are so sure.\\
We are the youth and we are knocking on death's door.\\
Never knew we were living in a world with a mind that could be so sure.\\
Never knew we were living in a world with a mind that could be so small.\\
Never knew we were living in a world where the world is an open court.\\
Maybe we don't want to live in a world where innocence is sold short.\\
We'll make it up to you, in the year 2000."''
-->-- '''Music/{{Silverchair}}''', "Anthem for the Year 2000"

->Well, [[Theatre/AllsWellThatEndsWell all’s well that ends well.]] Though that’s easy for Shakespeare to say -- he’ll be around for another millennium. But what of our own millennium? will it all end well? No one of course can know, but that of course doesn’t stop anyone from guessing. And the nature of these predictions always revolve around the usual suspects: salvation and/or self–satisfaction. With that in mind, I humbly add my own prophecy of what the dawn of the new millennium shall bring forth: one thousand more years of the same, old crap.
-->--'''Jose Chung''', ''{{Series/Millennium}}''

->You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is [[Music/{{Eminem}} a white guy]], the best golfer is [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger_Woods a black guy]], the [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yao_Ming tallest guy in the NBA]] is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, [[TheWarOnTerror France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war]], and the three most powerful men in America are named "[[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush Bush]]", "[[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Cheney Dick]]", and "[[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colin_Powell Colon]]".

-->-- '''Website/TheOnion''' [[https://politics.theonion.com/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-prosperi-1819565882 headline, January 17, 2001]] ([[FunnyAneurysmMoment which turned out to be frighteningly prescient]])

-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/03/pop-between-realities-home-in-time-for.html Dr. Phil Sandifer]]'''

-->"All Star", '''Music/SmashMouth'''

-> "2000-2010 was a shitty decade. I like this decade better! I have a smartphone now!"

''But the meteor men beg to differ, judging by the holes in the satellite picture,''\\

''[[NothingIsTheSameAnymore My world's on fire, how 'bout yours]]? That's the way I like it, and I'll never get bored! ...''\\

[[folder:Film -- Live-action]]

[[folder:Live-action TV]]

-->-- '''Dr. Bashir''', ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' ("Past Tense Pt. 1")

-->-- '''ConanOBrien''', "In the Year 2000"

[[folder:Stand-up Comedy]]

->I’m sure you’re like [='=]''{{Series/Punkd}}''? How current. What’s next, a BREAKING story from the set of ''PimpMyRide''?', but honestly, this story is worth traveling back in time to 2003. Dust off your [[{{Hipster}} Von Dutch trucker hat]] and grab a Pepsi Twist (remember that shit? It was like drinking cola-flavored Pledge)
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/09/22/and-now-for-the-time-justin-timberlake-threatened-to-kick-dax-shepards-ass-on-the-set-of-punkd/ Michael K.]]''', "And Now For The Time JustinTimberlake Threatened To Kick Dax Shepard’s Ass On The Set Of ''Punk’d''"

-->-- A Weazel News report about a "Noughties Bar" opening in Liberty City, '''GrandTheftAutoV'''

-> "A decade without any flavor or style whatsoever..."..."2000-2010 was a shitty decade. I like this decade better! I have a smartphone now!"
-->-- A Weazel News report about a "Noughties Bar" opening in Liberty City, '''Grand Theft Auto V'''

-> ..."the 2000s - a decade without any flavor or style whatsoever..."
"2000-2010 was a shitty decade, I like this decade better! I have a smartphone now!"
-->-- A radio news report about a "Noughties Bar" in '''Grand Theft Auto V'''

-> ... a decade without any flavor or style whatsoever...
-->-- A radio news report about a "Noughties Bar" in '''VideoGame/Grand Theft Auto V'''

-->-- '''Music/FlightOfTheConchords''', "Robots (The Humans are Dead)"

-->-- '''Music/{{Prince}}''', "1999"

-->-- '''Music/TheSmiths''', "Frankly, Mr. Shankly"

-->-- '''T. Bone Burnett''', "The Rat Age"

No hope kids are bruised"''

Got no girlfriend

-->--'''Jose Chung''', ''{{Series/Millenium}}''

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm2009'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s ''“we will fight them on the beaches”'' speech...Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] -- arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest [Obama] may be good, but he’s ''“no [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Jack Kennedy]]”'' or even UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”.