History Quotes / TurnOfTheMillennium

->The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future }}is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror.

[[/folder]]

->The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future }}is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror. Time memorably spent the tail end of 2009 declaring the aughts to have been the “worst decade ever,” and while this should be taken [[WorstWhateverEver as Comic Book Guy style hyperbole with periods after every word]], the case was compelling enough. A decade long war on terror culminated in a massive financial crash and the growing realization that electing [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama a black dude]] President of the United States [[FakeUltimateHero was not actually going to fix everything.]]

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm2009'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s ''“we will fight them on the beaches”'' speech... In an interconnected world, everything gets smaller. Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] -- arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest [Obama] may be good, but he’s ''“no [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Jack Kennedy]]”'' or even UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”.

->Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing. You are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world.
-->-- '''UsefulNotes/JimmyCarter'''

## 1999 turns into 1984 ([[Literature/NineteenEightyFour the novel]]). Fanatics attack on 9/11 and a great panic ensues. Armchair warriors see war on TV 24/7. Fundie fanaticism (Christian and Muslim) flowers. Meanwhile the economy tanks and [[OppressiveStatesOfAmerica the U.S. Constitution is used as toilet paper.]] Talking heads on TV toss in [[BreadAndCircuses trashy celebrity stories to distract viewers.]] This turns America into a Masturbation Nation.
## RealityTV becomes the opiate of the masses.
## Anybody who stands near a flag, pretends to pray in public, holds up a cross, talks of "family values" or boasts of kickin' ass [[VillainWithGoodPublicity is venerated by the masses.]]
## NBC reporter: [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush Mr. Bush]], who is your favorite philosopher? W: Uhhhh - Jesus Christ!
## Rock'n'roll is long dead by 2000. However, some newer bands that recently released albums like *Stella, Spinerette, the Plasticines, Datarock and the Ravionettes hint that rock may be coming back to life as this ugly decade ends. Lord I hope so.
## Let's be honest. How many females have become famous for their intelligence or talents in anything during the past 10 years? [[SexSells Cross your legs, shake your ass, put on a seductive "fuck-me-honey" air about you]]. Then you're a star. It's the Decade of Dumb Ditzy Dolls. The Season of the Bitch. Whatever happened to gender equality and respect?
## This nightmarish decade of lying, corruption, hate, arrogance, neglect and stupidity - the 00s - I AIN'T GONNA MISS IT. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

->Near future prediction is always a rough game... Hence ''[[Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact 2010]]''[=’s=] amusing double error - the belief that humanity would be on the verge of going to Jupiter and the belief that [[SpaceColdWar the Cold War would be rumbling on.]] Instead the American space program spent 2010 winding down, each of the three surviving Shuttles making their penultimate flights. The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future}} is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror. Time memorably spent the tail end of 2009 declaring the aughts to have been the “worst decade ever,” and while this should be taken [[WorstWhateverEver as Comic Book Guy style hyperbole with periods after every word]], the case was compelling enough. A decade long war on terror culminated in a massive financial crash and the growing realization that electing [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama a black dude]] President of the United States [[FakeUltimateHero was not actually going to fix everything.]]

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm2009'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s ''“we will fight them on the beaches”'' speech...Part of me wonders if media and the way which we consume media is responsible for this trend. In an interconnected world, everything gets smaller. Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] – arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest [Obama] may be good, but he’s ''“no [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Jack Kennedy]]”'' or even UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”. No instantly recognisable quotes like ''“I have a dream…”'' or ''“ask not what your country can do for you”''. It should be noted that it was arguably this soundbyte-fixation which led to the rush to war back in 2003, with the focus on individual words and snippets (''“axis of evil”'', for example) rather than statements or arguments.

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s ''“we will fight them on the beaches”'' speech...Part of me wonders if media and the way which we consume media is responsible for this trend. In an interconnected world, everything gets smaller. Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] – arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest [Obama] may be good, but he’s ''“no [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Jack Kennedy]]”'' or even UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”. No instantly recognisable quotes like ''“I have a dream…”'' or ''“ask not what your country can do for you”''. It should be noted that it was arguably this soundbyte-fixation which led to the rush to war back in 2003, with the focus on individual words and snippets (''“axis of evil”'', for example) rather than statements or arguments.

->It is the distant future... [[{{Zeerust}} the Year 2000]]''

->So, what you're telling me, is that the music is about to stop, and we're going to be left holding the biggest bag of odorous excrement ever assembled in the history of capitalism.

## 1999 turns into 1984 ([[Literature/NineteenEightyFour the novel]]). Fanatics attack on 9/11 and a great panic ensues. Armchair warriors see war on TV 24/7. Fundie fanaticism (Christian and Muslim) flowers. Meanwhile the economy tanks and the U.S. Constitution is used as toilet paper. Talking heads on TV toss in [[BreadAndCircuses trashy celebrity stories to distract viewers.]] This turns America into a Masturbation Nation.

[[folder:fiction]]

->''I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm gender-specific, captial-intensive, user-friendly, and lactose-intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hard''[[TheInternetIsForPorn core]]''; no soft porn! I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore! I eat fast food in the slow lane! I'm toll-free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes! A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle! I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity!''

->21st century history is not one of my strong points. Too depressing.
-->-- '''Dr. Bashir''', ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' ("Past Tense Pt. 1")

->The 21st century is when [[SugarApocalypse everything changes]], and you've gotta be ready.
-->-- '''Jack Harkness''', ''{{Series/Torchwood}}''

->SelfDemonstratingArticle/TheJoker's a special case. Some of us feel he may be ''beyond'' treatment. In fact, we're not even sure if he can be properly defined as insane... It's quite possible we may actually be looking at some kind of super-sanity here. A brilliant new modification of human perception. More suited to [[CityNoir urban life]] in the twenty-first century.
-->-- '''Dr. Ruth Adams''', ''ComicBook/ArkhamAsylumASeriousHouseOnSeriousEarth''

->So, what you're telling me, is that the music is about to stop, and we're going to be left holding the biggest bag of odorous excrement ever assembled in the history of capitalism.
-->-- '''John Tuld''', ''Film/MarginCall''

->The public has been lied to, Mr. Kreese. Told all their lives they can have the good life, but no one ever gets it. Every year, they work a little longer, and their house is worth a little less, their retirement fund gets a little smaller. And when the people get upset, they start [[TorchesAndPitchforks looking for someone to blame.]]
-->-- '''Rockwell''', ''{{Series/Leverage}}'' ("The 10-Minute Job")

[[folder:real life]]
->...twentieth century and Second Christian Millennium are saying goodbye. Personally, I thought they'd never go [[TheGreatDepression without]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII taking us]] [[UsefulNotes/ColdWar with them]].
-->-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Vanity Fair'', 1999

->A black man will be elected President of the United States. --I'm sorry, that's in the year ''[[ItWillNeverCatchOn 10,000.]]''
-->-- '''ConanOBrien''', "In the Year 2000"

->We're a heavily medicated society. All the drugs we take: Prozac, Effexor, Valium. I thought [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush for the last ten years]], we've been on some weird fucking drug -- the whole country -- called 'Fukitol.' What a weird fucking drug. [[WhatDidIDoLastNight And we're just coming out of it and we're kind of waking up]]. Fuckin' A! It's weird: It's like you're going, 'last thing I remember was the economy was working and [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton there was a budget surplus]].... What about the economy?' Well, we had to bail out the banks. '[[AesopAmnesia Again?]]' Fuck, yeah! 'And now who's the president?' A black guy. 'Yeah, right. Yeah, there's a black president and a Latino on the Supreme Court.' There is. 'Oh, my God! Who's the president? Jesse Jackson?' No, his name is [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack Hussein Obama]].' '''Now''' you're fucking with me!'
-->-- '''Creator/RobinWilliams''', ''Weapons of Self-Destruction''

->Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing. You are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world.
-->-- '''UsefulNotes/JimmyCarter'''

->The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush Bush]], Dick and Colon.
-->--'''Creator/KurtVonnegut'''

->I came of age in {{the Sixties}}, when there were chances, when it was all there waiting. Now they seep out of school -- to what? To nothing, to fuck-all. The young (you can see it in their faces), the stegosaurus-rugged no-hopers, the parrot-crested blankies -- they’ve come up with an appropriate response to this, which is: nothing. Which is nothing, which is fuck-all. The dole-queue starts at the exit to the playground.
-->-- '''Martin Amis''', ''Money''

->[[TechnologyMarchesOn I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry.]] Not that that tells us very much of course--the computer industry didn't even foresee that [[MillenniumBug the century was going to end.]]
-->-- '''Creator/DouglasAdams'''

->Near future prediction is always a rough game... Hence ''[[Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact 2010]]''[=’s=] amusing double error - the belief that humanity would be on the verge of going to Jupiter and the belief that [[SpaceColdWar the Cold War would be rumbling on.]] Instead the American space program spent 2010 winding down, each of the three surviving Shuttles making their penultimate flights. The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future}} is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror. Time memorably spent the tail end of 2009 declaring the aughts to have been the “worst decade ever,” and while this should be taken [[WorstWhateverEver as Comic Book Guy style hyperbole with periods after every word]], the case was compelling enough. A decade long war on terror culminated in a massive financial crash and the growing realization that electing [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama a black dude President of the United States]] was not actually going to fix everything.
-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/03/pop-between-realities-home-in-time-for.html Phil Sandifer]]'''

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s “we will fight them on the beaches” speech...Part of me wonders if media and the way which we consume media is responsible for this trend. In an interconnected world, everything gets smaller. Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] – arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest [Obama] may be good, but he’s ''“no [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Jack Kennedy]]”'' or even UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”. No instantly recognisable quotes like “I have a dream…” or “ask not what your country can do for you”. It should be noted that it was arguably this soundbyte-fixation which led to the rush to war back in 2003, with the focus on individual words and snippets (“axis of evil”, for example) rather than statements or arguments.

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s “we will fight them on the beaches” speech...Part of me wonders if media and the way which we consume media is responsible for this trend. In an interconnected world, everything gets smaller. Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] – arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest [Obama] may be good, but he’s ''“no [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Jack Kennedy]]”'' or even UsefulNotes/Ronald Reagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”. No instantly recognisable quotes like “I have a dream…” or “ask not what your country can do for you”. It should be noted that it was arguably this soundbyte-fixation which led to the rush to war back in 2003, with the focus on individual words and snippets (“axis of evil”, for example) rather than statements or arguments.

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s “we will fight them on the beaches” speech...Part of me wonders if media and the way which we consume media is responsible for this trend. In an interconnected world, everything gets smaller. Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] – arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest [Obama] may be good, but he’s ''“no UsefulNotes/JackKennedy”'' or even UsefulNotes/Ronald Reagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”. No instantly recognisable quotes like “I have a dream…” or “ask not what your country can do for you”. It should be noted that it was arguably this soundbyte-fixation which led to the rush to war back in 2003, with the focus on individual words and snippets (“axis of evil”, for example) rather than statements or arguments.

->If they ever make a film about the recession, they’re going to struggle for “the great speech” scene. That bit when Michael Collins demands of his audience ''“who will take my place?”'' or in ''Film/IntoTheStorm'' where Brendan Gleeson delivers a stirring rendition of Churchill’s “we will fight them on the beaches” speech...Part of me wonders if media and the way which we consume media is responsible for this trend. In an interconnected world, everything gets smaller. Newspapers seldom print whole speeches these days, so they are typically anchored around vacuous sound bytes. News channels are so busy rushing to get to the celebrity gossip that we get [[ViewersAreGoldfish an entire political address condensed down to a word]] – arguably the greatest orator of our times (though, to echo above I’d suggest he may be good, but he’s ''“no Jack Kennedy”'' or even Ronald Reagan) has his speeches condensed down to single ambiguous words/concepts like “hope” and “change”. No instantly recognisable quotes like “I have a dream…” or “ask not what your country can do for you”. It should be noted that it was arguably this soundbyte-fixation which led to the rush to war back in 2003, with the focus on individual words and snippets (“axis of evil”, for example) rather than statements or arguments.

->''"Two thousand zero zero party over. [[BadFuture Oops out of time.]]"''

->''"Frankly, Mr Shankly, I'm a sickening wreck\\
I've got the 21st century breathing down my neck"''

->''"Is this not the rat age\\

Where murderers loom"''

->''"Sometimes I wish Creator/RogerMoore would come back\\
With an underwater car or some kind of [[IWantMyJetpack jetpack]]\\
Or a hover-gondola and a [[WearingAFlagOnYourHead Union Jack]]\\
Forget it, mate, it's not {{the eighties}}\\
He'd rather [[CowboyCop kick you in the face]]\\
We've got a new Bond for the noughties\\
Because the world's a [[CrapsackWorld TERRIBLE place]]!"''
-->-- '''Joe Cornish''', ''Film/QuantumOfSolace'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhIJ19Rv3H4 the parody song]].

->''"I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm gender-specific, captial-intensive, user-friendly, and lactose-intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hard''[[TheInternetIsForPorn core]]''; no soft porn! I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore! I eat fast food in the slow lane! I'm toll-free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes! A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle! I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity!"''

->''"21st century history is not one of my strong points. Too depressing."''

->''"The price of petroleum has skyrocketed and the world economy in confusion. The 21st century was expected to be one of chaos."''

->''"The 21st century is when [[SugarApocalypse everything changes]], and you've gotta be ready."''

->''"After Y2K, the end of the world had become a cliché. But who was I to talk? ...Everything was subjective. There were only personal apocalypses. Nothing is a cliché when it's happening to you."''
-->-- '''''VideoGame/MaxPayne'''''

->''"SelfDemonstratingArticle/TheJoker's a special case. Some of us feel he may be ''beyond'' treatment. In fact, we're not even sure if he can be properly defined as insane... It's quite possible we may actually be looking at some kind of super-sanity here. A brilliant new modification of human perception. More suited to [[CityNoir urban life]] in the twenty-first century."''

->''"So, what you're telling me, is that the music is about to stop, and we're going to be left holding the biggest bag of odorous excrement ever assembled in the history of capitalism."''

->''"The public has been lied to, Mr. Kreese. Told all their lives they can have the good life, but no one ever gets it. Every year, they work a little longer, and their house is worth a little less, their retirement fund gets a little smaller. And when the people get upset, they start [[TorchesAndPitchforks looking for someone to blame.]]"''

->'''Boy:''' It's 2011. [[IWantMyJetpack I want my flying car.]]
->'''Girl:''' Dude. You're complaining to me on a phone, on which you buy and read books. And which you were using to play a 3D shooter until I interrupted you with what would be a video call if I were wearing a shirt.
->'''Boy:''' Can't I have a flying car, too?
->'''Girl:''' You'd crash it while texting and playing ''VideoGame/AngryBirds''.
-->-- '''''WebComic/{{xkcd}}''''', [[http://xkcd.com/864/ "Flying Cars"]]

->''"...twentieth century and Second Christian Millennium are saying goodbye. Personally, I thought they'd never go [[TheGreatDepression without]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII taking us]] [[UsefulNotes/ColdWar with them]]."''

->''"A black man will be elected President of the United States. --I'm sorry, that's in the year ''[[ItWillNeverCatchOn 10,000.]]''"''

->''"We're a heavily medicated society. All the drugs we take: Prozac, Effexor, Valium. I thought [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush for the last ten years]], we've been on some weird fucking drug -- the whole country -- called 'Fukitol.' What a weird fucking drug. [[WhatDidIDoLastNight And we're just coming out of it and we're kind of waking up]]. Fuckin' A! It's weird: It's like you're going, 'last thing I remember was the economy was working and [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton there was a budget surplus]].... What about the economy?' Well, we had to bail out the banks. '[[AesopAmnesia Again?]]' Fuck, yeah! 'And now who's the president?' A black guy. 'Yeah, right. Yeah, there's a black president and a Latino on the Supreme Court.' There is. 'Oh, my God! Who's the president? Jesse Jackson?' No, his name is [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack Hussein Obama]].' '''Now''' you're fucking with me!'"''

->''"Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing. You are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world."''

->''“The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush Bush]], Dick and Colon.”''

->''“I came of age in {{the Sixties}}, when there were chances, when it was all there waiting. Now they seep out of school -- to what? To nothing, to fuck-all. The young (you can see it in their faces), the stegosaurus-rugged no-hopers, the parrot-crested blankies -- they’ve come up with an appropriate response to this, which is: nothing. Which is nothing, which is fuck-all. The dole-queue starts at the exit to the playground.”''

->''“[[TechnologyMarchesOn I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry.]] Not that that tells us very much of course--the computer industry didn't even foresee that [[MillenniumBug the century was going to end.]]”''

->''"As we move into 2012, the [[MayanDoomsday final year of human existence]], I wanted to take a look back on the last great apocalypse-- {{Y2K}}. We've rebuilt society since the Millennium Bug destroyed everything we knew, but for what? So our souls look better as they're being pulled from the gnarled teeth of Ah Pukuh in twelve months?"''

->''"''VideoGame/SmashTV'' takes place in the grim, cold future of 1999, only a few short years after the conquest of Earth by the [[VideoGame/RevolutionX New Order Nation]]."''

->''"I’m sure you’re like [='=]''{{Series/Punkd}}''? How current. What’s next, a BREAKING story from the set of ''PimpMyRide''?', but honestly, this story is worth traveling back in time to 2003. Dust off your [[{{Hipster}} Von Dutch trucker hat]] and grab a Pepsi Twist (remember that shit? It was like drinking cola-flavored Pledge)"''
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/09/22/and-now-for-the-time-justin-timberlake-threatened-to-kick-dax-shepards-ass-on-the-set-of-punkd/ DListed]]''''', "And Now For The Time JustinTimberlake Threatened To Kick Dax Shepard’s Ass On The Set Of ''Punk’d''"

->''"[[{{Website/Facebook}} Zuckerberg]] is a billionaire of the modern age. Call me old-fashioned, but I like men who are able to buy and sell control of my fate to look the part. There's something too humiliating about being inferior to someone who needs to [[EnsignNewbie be told not to wear socks with sandals.]]"''

->''"Near future prediction is always a rough game... Hence ''[[Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact 2010]]''[=’s=] amusing double error - the belief that humanity would be on the verge of going to Jupiter and the belief that [[SpaceColdWar the Cold War would be rumbling on.]] Instead the American space program spent 2010 winding down, each of the three surviving Shuttles making their penultimate flights. The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future}} is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror. Time memorably spent the tail end of 2009 declaring the aughts to have been the “worst decade ever,” and while this should be taken [[WorstWhateverEver as Comic Book Guy style hyperbole with periods after every word]], the case was compelling enough. A decade long war on terror culminated in a massive financial crash and the growing realization that electing [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama a black dude President of the United States]] was not actually going to fix everything."''

->''"Near future prediction is always a rough game... Hence ''[[Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact 2010]]''[=’s=] amusing double error - the belief that humanity would be on the verge of going to Jupiter and the belief that [[SpaceColdWar the Cold War would be rumbling on.]] Instead the American space program spent 2010 winding down, each of the three surviving Shuttles making their penultimate flights. The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future}} is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror. Time memorably spent the tail end of 2009 declaring the aughts to have been the “worst decade ever,” and while this should be taken [[WorstWhateverEver as Comic Book Guy style hyperbole with periods after every word]], the case was compelling enough. A decade long war on terror culminated in a massive financial crash and the growing realization that electing [[BarackObama a black dude President of the United States]] was not actually going to fix everything."''

->''“I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course--the computer industry didn't even foresee that [[MillenniumBug the century was going to end.]]”''

->''"Two thousand zero zero party over. [[BadFuture Oops out of time.]]"''\\
-- '''Music/{{Prince}}''', "1999"

I've got the 21st century breathing down my neck"''\\
-- '''Music/TheSmiths''', "Frankly, Mr. Shankly"

Where murderers loom"''\\
-- '''T. Bone Burnett''', "The Rat Age"

Because the world's a [[CrapsackWorld TERRIBLE place]]!"''\\
-- '''Joe Cornish''', ''Film/QuantumOfSolace'', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhIJ19Rv3H4 the parody song]].

->''"I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm gender-specific, captial-intensive, user-friendly, and lactose-intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hard''[[TheInternetIsForPorn core]]''; no soft porn! I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore! I eat fast food in the slow lane! I'm toll-free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes! A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle! I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity!"''\\
--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', "Modern Man"

->''"21st century history is not one of my strong points. Too depressing."''\\
-- '''Dr. Bashir''', ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'' ("Past Tense Pt. 1")

->''"The price of petroleum has skyrocketed and the world economy in confusion. The 21st century was expected to be one of chaos."''\\
-- '''''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid''''', dossier on the [[VideoGame/MetalGear2SolidSnake Zanzibar Land]] disturbance

->''"The 21st century is when [[SugarApocalypse everything changes]], and you've gotta be ready."''\\
--'''Jack Harkness''', ''{{Series/Torchwood}}''

->''"After Y2K, the end of the world had become a cliché. But who was I to talk? ...Everything was subjective. There were only personal apocalypses. Nothing is a cliché when it's happening to you."''\\
-- '''''VideoGame/MaxPayne'''''

->''"SelfDemonstratingArticle/TheJoker's a special case. Some of us feel he may be ''beyond'' treatment. In fact, we're not even sure if he can be properly defined as insane... It's quite possible we may actually be looking at some kind of super-sanity here. A brilliant new modification of human perception. More suited to [[CityNoir urban life]] in the twenty-first century."''\\
-- '''Dr. Ruth Adams''', ''ComicBook/ArkhamAsylumASeriousHouseOnSeriousEarth''

->''"So, what you're telling me, is that the music is about to stop, and we're going to be left holding the biggest bag of odorous excrement ever assembled in the history of capitalism."''\\
-- '''John Tuld''', ''Film/MarginCall''

->''"The public has been lied to, Mr. Kreese. Told all their lives they can have the good life, but no one ever gets it. Every year, they work a little longer, and their house is worth a little less, their retirement fund gets a little smaller. And when the people get upset, they start [[TorchesAndPitchforks looking for someone to blame.]]"''\\
-- '''Rockwell''', ''{{Series/Leverage}}'' ("The 10-Minute Job")

->'''Boy:''' It's 2011. [[IWantMyJetpack I want my flying car.]]\\
'''Girl:''' Dude. You're complaining to me on a phone, on which you buy and read books. And which you were using to play a 3D shooter until I interrupted you with what would be a video call if I were wearing a shirt.\\
'''Boy:''' Can't I have a flying car, too?\\
'''Girl:''' You'd crash it while texting and playing ''VideoGame/AngryBirds''.\\
-- '''''WebComic/{{xkcd}}''''', [[http://xkcd.com/864/ "Flying Cars"]]

->''"...twentieth century and Second Christian Millennium are saying goodbye. Personally, I thought they'd never go [[TheGreatDepression without]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII taking us]] [[UsefulNotes/ColdWar with them]]."''\\
-- '''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Vanity Fair'', 1999

->''"A black man will be elected President of the United States. --I'm sorry, that's in the year ''[[ItWillNeverCatchOn 10,000.]]''"''\\
-- '''ConanOBrien''', "In the Year 2000"

->''"We're a heavily medicated society. All the drugs we take: Prozac, Effexor, Valium. I thought [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush for the last ten years]], we've been on some weird fucking drug -- the whole country -- called 'Fukitol.' What a weird fucking drug. [[WhatDidIDoLastNight And we're just coming out of it and we're kind of waking up]]. Fuckin' A! It's weird: It's like you're going, 'last thing I remember was the economy was working and [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton there was a budget surplus]].... What about the economy?' Well, we had to bail out the banks. '[[AesopAmnesia Again?]]' Fuck, yeah! 'And now who's the president?' A black guy. 'Yeah, right. Yeah, there's a black president and a Latino on the Supreme Court.' There is. 'Oh, my God! Who's the president? Jesse Jackson?' No, his name is [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack Hussein Obama]].' '''Now''' you're fucking with me!'"''\\
-- '''Creator/RobinWilliams''', ''Weapons of Self-Destruction''

->''"This whole subprime mortgage mess is just an excuse for the gunslingers and river boat gamblers on Wall Street to use their tricks to move markets and make money...You can panic if you enjoy being panicky. But this will all blow over and the people who buy now, in due time, will be glad they did."''\\
-- '''Ben Stein''' says that [[http://www.cbsnews.com/news/ben-stein-says-economy-is-fine/ the economy is fine]]

->''"Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing. You are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn't affect two-thirds of the people of the world."''\\
-- '''UsefulNotes/JimmyCarter'''

->''“The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush Bush]], Dick and Colon.”''\\
--'''Creator/KurtVonnegut'''

->''“I came of age in {{the Sixties}}, when there were chances, when it was all there waiting. Now they seep out of school -- to what? To nothing, to fuck-all. The young (you can see it in their faces), the stegosaurus-rugged no-hopers, the parrot-crested blankies -- they’ve come up with an appropriate response to this, which is: nothing. Which is nothing, which is fuck-all. The dole-queue starts at the exit to the playground.”''\\
-- '''Martin Amis''', ''Money''

->''“I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course--the computer industry didn't even foresee that [[MillenniumBug the century was going to end.]]”''\\
-- '''Creator/DouglasAdams'''

->''"As we move into 2012, the [[MayanDoomsday final year of human existence]], I wanted to take a look back on the last great apocalypse-- {{Y2K}}. We've rebuilt society since the Millennium Bug destroyed everything we knew, but for what? So our souls look better as they're being pulled from the gnarled teeth of Ah Pukuh in twelve months?"''\\
--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-real-survival-guides-one-very-fake-apocalypse/ "10 Real Survival Guides For One Very Fake Apocalypse"]]

->''"''VideoGame/SmashTV'' takes place in the grim, cold future of 1999, only a few short years after the conquest of Earth by the [[VideoGame/RevolutionX New Order Nation]]."''\\
--'''''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/smashtv/smashtv.htm Hardcore Gaming 101]]'''''

->''"I’m sure you’re like [='=]''{{Series/Punkd}}''? How current. What’s next, a BREAKING story from the set of ''PimpMyRide''?', but honestly, this story is worth traveling back in time to 2003. Dust off your [[{{Hipster}} Von Dutch trucker hat]] and grab a Pepsi Twist (remember that shit? It was like drinking cola-flavored Pledge)"''\\
--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/09/22/and-now-for-the-time-justin-timberlake-threatened-to-kick-dax-shepards-ass-on-the-set-of-punkd/ DListed]]''''', "And Now For The Time JustinTimberlake Threatened To Kick Dax Shepard’s Ass On The Set Of ''Punk’d''"

->''"[[{{Website/Facebook}} Zuckerberg]] is a billionaire of the modern age. Call me old-fashioned, but I like men who are able to buy and sell control of my fate to look the part. There's something too humiliating about being inferior to someone who needs to [[EnsignNewbie be told not to wear socks with sandals.]]"''\\
-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-things-that-werent-always-this-terrible_p2/ "4 Things That Weren't Always This Terrible"]]

->''"Near future prediction is always a rough game... Hence ''[[Film/TwoThousandTenTheYearWeMakeContact 2010]]''[=’s=] amusing double error - the belief that humanity would be on the verge of going to Jupiter and the belief that [[SpaceColdWar the Cold War would be rumbling on.]] Instead the American space program spent 2010 winding down, each of the three surviving Shuttles making their penultimate flights. The Cold War is dead and gone. Indeed, the entire apparatus of {{the future}} is long since gone, and has in fact quietly disappeared into the rear view mirror. Time memorably spent the tail end of 2009 declaring the aughts to have been the “worst decade ever,” and while this should be taken [[WorstWhateverEver as Comic Book Guy style hyperbole with periods after every word]], the case was compelling enough. A decade long war on terror culminated in a massive financial crash and the growing realization that electing [[BarackObama a black dude President of the United States]] was not actually going to fix everything."''\\
-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/03/pop-between-realities-home-in-time-for.html Phil Sandifer]]'''

->''"'We are headed for a Malthusian crisis,' he said, with professorial confidence. 'Plankton levels are dropping. Bees are dying. There are tortilla riots in Mexico, the highest wheat prices in 30-odd years.' He paused. “The question we have to answer is: How do we [[TheSocialDarwinist kill four of the world’s six billion people]] in the most just way possible?' He seemed excited to have said this aloud."''\\
--'''Mattathias Schwartz''', [[http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 "The Trolls Among Us"]]

!!!Fictional

!!!RealLife

->''"We are going to punish somebody for this attack, but just who or where will be blown to smithereens for it is hard to say. Maybe Afghanistan, maybe Pakistan or Iraq, or possibly all three at once. Who knows? Not even the Generals in what remains of the Pentagon or the New York papers calling for war seem to know who did it or where to look for them. This is going to be a very expensive war, and Victory is not guaranteed—for anyone, and certainly not for a baffled little creep like UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush. All he knows is that [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush his father]] started the war a long time ago, and that he, the goofy child President, has been chosen by Fate and the global Oil industry to finish it off."''
-->-- '''Creator/HunterSThompson''', ''Hey Rube''

--'''Mattathias Schwartz''', [[http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 "The Trolls Among Us"]]

'''Girl:''' You'd crash it while texting and playing ''VideoGame/AngryBirds''.
-->-- '''''WebComic/{{xkcd}}''''', [[http://xkcd.com/864/ "Flying Cars"]]

->''"'We are headed for a Malthusian crisis,' he said, with professorial confidence. 'Plankton levels are dropping. Bees are dying. There are tortilla riots in Mexico, the highest wheat prices in 30-odd years.' He paused. “The question we have to answer is: How do we [[TheSocialDarwinist kill four of the world’s six billion people]] in the most just way possible?' He seemed excited to have said this aloud."''
-->--'''Mattathias Schwartz''', [[http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 "The Trolls Among Us"]]

->''"The 21st century is when [[SugarApocalypse everything changes]], and you've gotta be ready."''
-->--'''Jack Harkness''', ''{{Series/Torchwood}}''

->''"We're a heavily medicated society. All the drugs we take: Prozac, Effexor, Valium. I thought [[UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush for the last ten years]], we've been on some weird fucking drug -- the whole country -- called 'Fukitol.' What a weird fucking drug. [[WhatDidIDoLastNight And we're just coming out of it and we're kind of waking up]]. Fuckin' A! It's weird: It's like you're going, 'last thing I remember was the economy was working and [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton there was a budget surplus]].... What about the economy?' Well, we had to bail out the banks. '[[AesopAmnesia Again?]]' Fuck, yeah! 'And now who's the president?' A black guy. 'Yeah, right. Yeah, there's a black president and a Latino on the Supreme Court.' There is. 'Oh, my God! Who's the president? Jesse Jackson?' No, his name is [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack Hussein Obama]].' '''Now''' you're fucking with me!'"''
-->-- '''Creator/RobinWilliams''', ''Weapons of Self-Destruction''

->''"We're a heavily medicated society. All the drugs we take: Prozac, Effexor, Valium. I thought [[UsefulNotes/TurnOfTheMillennium for the last ten years]], we've been on some weird fucking drug -- the whole country -- called 'Fukitol.' What a weird fucking drug. [[WhatDidIDoLastNight And we're just coming out of it and we're kind of waking up]]. Fuckin' A! It's weird: It's like you're going, 'last thing I remember was the economy was working and [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton there was a budget surplus]].... What about the economy?' Well, we had to bail out the banks. '[[AesopAmnesia Again?]]' Fuck, yeah! 'And now who's the president?' A black guy. 'Yeah, right. Yeah, there's a black president and a Latino on the Supreme Court.' There is. 'Oh, my God! Who's the president? Jesse Jackson?' No, his name is [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack Hussein Obama]].' '''Now''' you're fucking with me!'"''