History Quotes / ToodumbToLive

->''Franchise the Clown:'' Oh, your decision making just naturally puts you in the sewer? Ok, this was easy. ''(Proceeds to devour Jameis)''

'''Jameis Winston:''' I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, or the media, or my teammates...
'''Franchise the Clown:''' I'm Franchise the Dependable Clown. Would you like to join me? ''(lifts arms, which are giant crab legs)''
''(JumpCut to Jameis in the sewer eating one of the crab legs)''
''Franchise the Clown:'' Oh, your decision making just naturally puts you in the sewer? Ok, this was easy. ''(Proceeds to devour Jameis)''

->'''Doggett''': I think I just solved this case. This kid had crap for brains and the flies couldn't resist.\\
'''Reyes''': Oh, and ''you'' were such a choirboy growing up?\\
'''Doggett''': I mean, we did some stupid stuff, but we didn't know it was stupid at the time. This isn't just stupid, this is '''glorification''' of stupid. [[YouthIsWastedOnTheDumb These kids take enormous pride in being sub-mental.]]

->''[[YouthIsWastedOnTheDumb For young man, read young idiot.]] Look, anyone stupid enough to let some mustachio'd dago say, "Excuse me, meester" and then hit them over the head, deserves everything coming to them.''

->'''Creator/ChrisRock:''' You know, you're probably won't get your ass kicked if you just use common sense. If you jump a subway turnstile, you might just get off with a warning from the police; but, if you jump a turnstile carrying a loaded gun and smoking a joint, then, maybe, you need your ass kicked.\\

Out of rubber bands and strings - paraded it around!\\

->'''Will''': So there Robin was, disguised, puzzle box in hand, surrounded by enemies and what did he do?
->'''Alan''': [[PressXToDie pulled the bell rope in the Abbott's room]]
->'''Much''': Whatever could've possessed him?
->'''Tuck''': There are people who simply do what shouldn't be done.
->'''Alan''': Well let that be a lesson to them.

->'''Pearl''': My strategy for this stage is: [[LeeroyJenkins rush to the stage and look freshhhhh...]]\\
'''Marina''': [[LampshadeHanging I need to find new teammates...]]

->'''Pearl''': Whenever we play here, I always get cooked right away by some random chump.\\
'''Marina''': [[CallBack That's because your strategy is to rush to the mic and look fresh...]]

'''Lindesfarne:''' (whispers to Tammy) [[LampshadeHanging Not too big on self-preservation, is he]]?\\

->This is [[https://www.drugs.com/illicit/krokodil.html the Russian bathtub heroin that eats your flesh.]] And it's a telling sign of our collective lunacy that officials can predict that a FLESH-EATING DRUG will spread across America even though we all know it eats flesh, and then that prediction comes to pass. Personally, I am terrified of all [[BodyHorror flesh-eating substances]]: acids, bacteria, lions, etc. I instinctively stay away from them. But that warning apparently wasn't enough to keep away our most desperate, meth-addled citizens. "Well, if it eats my flesh but people still do it, it must be '''''AMAZING.'''''" ''Side note: [[YouDoNotWantToKnow Do NOT look up images of people who have had their flesh eaten by Krokodil.]] [[{{Squick}} You will be unhappy.]]''

->''Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Ankh]]-[[WretchedHive Morpork]], but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of [[WretchedHive the Shades]] was suicide. Asking for a short beer in a [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame dwarf]] bar was suicide. Saying '[[SiliconBasedLife Got rocks in your head]]?' to a [[AllTrollsAreDifferent troll]] was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful.''

-->--''VideoGame/{{Splatoon 2}}'', Starfish Mainstage discussion

-->--''VideoGame/{{Splatoon 2}}'', another Starfish Mainstage discussion

-->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''

-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', ''Videogame/ANightmareOnElmStreetNES'' parody video.

->''You made three mistakes. First: you took the job. Second: you came light. A four man crew for me? Fucking insulting! But the worst mistake you made: empty gun rack.''

->''You made three mistakes. First, you took the job. Second, you came light. A four man crew for me? Fucking insulting! But the worst mistake you made... empty gun rack.''

-> '''Huey''', ''VideoGame/PaperMarioColorSplash

'''Meatwad:''' Look, you eat it, then I go back in time to before the time that you eat it, then I'll eat it. [[note]]They actually do have a time machine in this episode, but it's pretty clear Meatwad's lying.[[/note]]\\

-> ''Anyone can be a fool and do things which are wrong. But fools find out, when it's too late, that they don't live so long.

-->-- '''Rincewind''' on Twoflower, ''Discworld/TheColourOfMagic''

-->-- ''Discworld/MenAtArms'', Creator/TerryPratchett

-->-- '''Q''', ''VideoGame/StarTrekBorg'', if you attempt to [[WhatTheHellHero link the Borg circuit]] [[WhatAnIdiot to the ship's computer]]

->''I am too stupid to LIVE!''
-->-- '''Rebecca Howe''', ''Series/{{Cheers}}''

->''"I shouldn't have hired those sellswords in the first place. Perhaps there's no need. This place is just a tomb, after all, and there are no obvious signs of habitation. It isn't as though the thousand-year dead will mind if I have a look around."''

-->-- '''Ed Byrne''' on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JURo7tQwwEs Mock the Week]]

->'''Alan''': [[ViolationOfCommonSense pulled the bell rope in the Abbott's room]]

'''Will''': So there Robin was, disguised, puzzle box in hand, surrounded by enemies and what did he do?
'''Alan''': [[ViolationOfCommonSense pulled the bell rope in the Abbott's room]]
'''Much''': Whatever could've possessed him?
'''Tuck''': There are people who simply do what shouldn't be done.
'''Alan''': Well let that be a lesson to them.