History Quotes / TheVentureBros

-->'''The Monarch''': "YOUR NAME IS BITCH! And I own you. YOU'RE PROPERTY! [[PrisonRape And when I'm tired of having sex with every hole God drilled in your slender frame]] - King Gorilla, you got a cigarette? There, I just sold you for a cigarette, and I don't smoke!'' *{{Beat}} [[OhCrap It dawns on the Monarch that "Bitch" was Dean]]* Holy Shit! You're Dean [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] Venture! King, I gotta buy my bitch back. Here's your cigarette.

-->'''Dr. Venture''': "Oh, get in line!''

-->'''Orpheus:''': So... anyone who doesn't immediately give you respect, you murder?
-->'''Brock:''': No. No, no... well, I don't always kill 'em or anything, just like a bruise or two, just as a little reminder. I mean, 'til this kid!
-->'''Orpheus:''': You must talk to him. When you treat a young man like an adult, he acts like an adult.
-->'''Brock:''': If he was an adult, I'd kick his ass.
-->'''Orpheus:''': You can't stoop to their level.
-->'''Brock:''': Yeah, that's true. But... another kid could, right? I know where you're going with this! Yeah! I could get another kid to beat him down!
'''[Brock runs away laughing]'''
-->'''Orpheus:''': Not even close.
-->'''Brock:''': Don't bother, I'm not even listening.

-->'''Billy:''': Don't move, they can smell fear.
-->'''Dr. Venture:''': Can they smell urine?
-->'''Billy:''': That's like liquid fear.

-->'''Tim Tom:''': A hit, huh? You want us to make him suffer? Or just end it quick and quietlike?
-->'''Brock:''': No no no. Nothing permanent. Just give him a little taste of fear. And... I guess you can break something small. Like a toe.
-->'''Tim Tom:''': We could take out his tongue.
-->'''Kevin:''': With a knife.
-->'''Tim Tom:''': Or remove his heart.
-->'''Kevin:''': Yeah, with a knife.
-->'''Tim Tom:''': A bigger knife.
-->'''Kevin:''': Fucking knife!
-->'''Brock:''': Yeah, you guys are... you're kinda creepy. I think this may be a stupid idea.

-->'''Mr Cardholder''': "Even if [[FlavaFlav Flava Flav]] was in it."

-->'''Gathers''': "You'll never get over the lost of your breasts! You'll miss them forever..."

-->'''Brock''': "Aww no fuckin' way! Late 60's ultra death ray! She's amazing! Saddle operated with Doom Co. gearing. Freakin' gorgeous."

-->'''Brock''': "[[ADateWithRosiePalms I once jerked off twelve times in one day just to see if I could.]]"

-->'''Dream Hunter''': "Really! And it's god damned great! The G-Man Valhalla! There's trim and guns everywhere. And we eat steak flavored clouds and poop secrets!"

-->'''Dr. Venture''': "Join the club!''

-->'''Hunter Gathers (to Brock)''': "Lesson number one: trust no one. [[ConspiracyTheorist The minute God crapped out the third caveman, a conspiracy was hatched against one of them.]] Get up, damn you! ''(throws Brock a jetpack)'' Strap 'er on kid, your training starts now. When I'm through with you, you'll be a member of the elite agency that's been thanklessly defending this big-ass country since the second American Revolution.... the invisible one. Welcome to the Office of Secret Intelligence, Samson!''

-->'''Brock''': "''(sigh)'' So. [[WouldntHitAGirl No women]], [[WouldntHurtAChild no children]] —''

-->'''Hunter''': "No sir. Non-lethal takedown only. President killed the president anyway, you know that.''