History Quotes / TheReasonyouSuckSpeech

->'''Brian:''' No, no, no, Meg, no, lemme... You see, Connie, you're popular because you devolved early and started putting out at age 12. But now, you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the realization that when your body is used up at age 19, you'll be a chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your stepdad won't want. How's that? Am I... am I in the ballpark?

'''Johnny:''' [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Yeah, well,]] [[JerkAss I am pretty unbelievable.]]\\

-->-- '''[[{{Portal}} GlaDOS]]'''

-->-- ''Fear'', {{Disturbed}}

->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' ''(whispers, gets louder as he talks)'' Were you? Or did you '''dance an entire act WITH A PIECE OF MIRROR IN YOUR ABDOMEN????'''

->'''Nina:''' You're missing the point! ''(whispers)'' I was ''perfect.

'''Quagmire''':Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You're always like. "Ooh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, but all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it! I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't. He was a SPOILED BRAT! And that's why you like him so much: he's YOU! GOD, you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you delude yourself by thinking you're a great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "Legalize Pot, maaan..." How big business is crushing the underclass; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have YOU done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian... never seen YOU down there! You wanna help? GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius does not make you Jesus Christ. Oh, WAIT! You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots." Well who the HELL are YOU to talk down to anyone?! You failed college TWICE, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a BORE. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic BORE. ''Sigh...'' Well, see ya later, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.

->''"But this is the truth, [[DoctorWho Doctor]]. You take ordinary people and you make them weapons. Behold your Children of Time transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this […] How many more? Just think--how ''many'' have died in your name? […] The Doctor. The man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you yourself."''
-->-- '''Davros''', ''DoctorWho'', "Journey's End"

-->-- '''Rory''', ''DoctorWho'', "Vampires of Venice"

->"I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you ''muuuurdered'' him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. ''Shall not be mourned.'' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too."

->"Punk Ass / Are you listening / Can you hear me\\

Little impotent one".
--> ''Fear'', {{Disturbed}}

->"But this is the truth, [[DoctorWho Doctor]]. You take ordinary people and you make them weapons. Behold your Children of Time transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this […] How many more? Just think--how ''many'' have died in your name? […] The Doctor. The man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you yourself."

->You know what it's dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around.

--> -- ''FamilyGuy''

->"You disappoint me, Corinthian. You and these humans you inspired and created disappoint me. YOU were my masterpiece, or so I thought. A nightmare created to be the darkness, and the fear of darkness in every human heart. A black mirror made to reflect everything about itself that humanity will not confront. But look at you. Forty years walking the earth, honing yourself, infecting others with your joy of death, and what have you given them? What have you wrought, Corinthian? NOTHING! Just something else for people to be scared of, that's all. You've told them that there are bad people out there. And they've known that all along."

->"My God! I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you... do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named after the rocks in his head!"

->"Suppose I tell you exactly what's gonna happen to you. You're gonna be back in television. Only it won't be quite the same as it [[GloryDays was before]]. There'll be a reasonable cooling-off period and then somebody will say: '[[CareerResurrection Why don't we try him again]] in an inexpensive format. [[{{Nohamotyo}} People's memories aren't too long]].' And you know, in a way, he'll be right. Some of the people will forget, and some of them won't. Oh, you'll have a show. Maybe not the best hour or, you know, top 10. Maybe not even in the top 35. But you'll have a show. It just won't be quite the same as it was before. [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute Then a couple of new fellas will come along]]. And pretty soon, a lot of your fans will be flocking around them. And then one day, somebody'll ask: 'Whatever happened to, a, [[YouKnowThatGuy whatshisname]]? You know, the one who was so big. The [[HollywoodHypeMachine number-one fella]] a couple of years ago. He was famous. [[HowTheMightyHaveFallen How can we forget a name like that]]? Oh by the way, have you seen, a, Barry Mills? I think he's the greatest thing since Will Rogers.'"

-> I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you ''muuuurdered'' him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. ''Shall not be mourned.'' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.

->"Punk Ass / Are you listening / Can you hear me
->Or are you deaf and dumb to my language
->Do the real words / Seem to hurt you
->We put'em up motherf*cker
->Gonna feel it / when I stamp it / on your forehead
->So you will never forget that you're a reject
->And you're no one / And you're nothing
->Little impotent one".

->'''Davros''': But this is the truth, [[DoctorWho Doctor]]. You take ordinary people and you make them weapons. Behold your Children of Time transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this […] How many more? Just think--how ''many'' have died in your name? […] The Doctor. The man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you yourself.
--> -- DoctorWho: Journey's End

->'''Rory''':You know what it's dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around.
--> --DoctorWho: Vampires of Venice

->'''Brian''': I'm just trying to build a friendship with you. All I've done is try to be nice to you, and you still don't like me. How can you not like me?
->'''Quagmire''':Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You're always like. "Ooh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, but all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it! I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't. He was a SPOILED BRAT! And that's why you like him so much: he's YOU! GOD, you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you delude yourself by thinking you're a great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "Legalize Pot, maaan..." How big business is crushing the underclass; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have YOU done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian... never seen YOU down there! You wanna help? GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius does not make you Jesus Christ. Oh, WAIT! You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots." Well who the HELL are YOU to talk down to anyone?! You failed college TWICE, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a BORE. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic BORE. ''Sigh...'' Well, see ya later, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.

->''You disappoint me, Corinthian. You and these humans you inspired and created disappoint me. YOU were my masterpiece, or so I thought. A nightmare created to be the darkness, and the fear of darkness in every human heart. A black mirror made to reflect everything about itself that humanity will not confront. But look at you. Forty years walking the earth, honing yourself, infecting others with your joy of death, and what have you given them? What have you wrought, Corinthian? NOTHING! Just something else for people to be scared of, that's all. You've told them that there are bad people out there. And they've known that all along.''
-->'''Morpheus''' -- ''{{Sandman}}''

->'''Keats:''' You think you're so special. So clever. So needed. So damned right. You fooled everyone into believing in you. And I have the horrible, unpopular job of showing the world what you really are. The things you've done? Oh, they won't want to believe it. Because they love you. They think they know you, and they'll hate me for it. But in the end, they will see. As sad as it will be for them, they will see. I know what you did, three years ago. I know.
->'''Gene:''' So you're gonna bring me down? Why're you telling me that?
->'''Keats:''' See, that's what's ironic. You can't leave here, no matter what happens. This place defines you, which means you're going to have to sit here and watch me close your little kingdom forever. And you're left with a scrap heap. I just hope I can help Alex before it's too late.
-->''AshesToAshes''

->'''Shepard''': The turians lost twenty cruisers, figure each had a crew of around 300. The Ascension, the asari dreadnought we saved, had a crew of nearly 10,000.
->'''Kalisa al-Jilani''': But surely the ''human ''cost—
->'''Shepard''': The Alliance lost eight cruisers: Shen Yang, Emden, Jukarta, Cairo, Seoul, Cape Town, Warsaw, Madrid and yes, I remember them all. Everyone in the Fifth Fleet is a hero. The Alliance owes them all medals, the Council owes them a lot more than that. ''And so do you''.
-->''MassEffect2''

->''My God! I can't stand any more of this! First you spurn me for Eddie, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew people up and then you spit them out again... I loved you... do you hear me? I loved you! And what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you: a big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named after the rocks in his head!''
-->'''Columbia''' ''TheRockyHorrorPictureShow''

->'''Bruce Wayne''': I came here to show you that not everyone in Gotham's afraid of you.
->'''Carmine Falcone''': Only those who know me, kid. Look around you: you'll see two councilmen, a union official, a couple off-duty cops, and a judge. Now, I wouldn't have a second's hesitation of blowing your head off right here and right now in front of 'em. Now, that's power you can't buy! That's the power of fear.
->'''Bruce Wanye''': I'm not afraid of you...
->'''Carmine Falcone''': ... because you think you got nothing to lose. But you haven't thought it through. You haven't thought about your lady-friend down at the D.A.'s office. You haven't thought about your old butler. Bang! People from your world have so much to lose. Now, you think because your mommy and your daddy got shot, you know about the ugly side of life, but you don't. You've never tasted desperate. You're Bruce Wayne, the Prince of Gotham - you'd have to go a thousand miles to meet someone who didn't know your name. So don't come down here with your anger trying to prove something to yourself. This is a world you'll never understand, and you always fear what you don't understand.
--> BatmanBegins

->'''Fifi:''' That was my photograph! I cannot believe you!
->'''Johnny:''' [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Yeah, well,]] [[JerkAss I am pretty unbelievable.]]
->'''Fifi:''' You are nothing but a selfish, worthless waste of skunk! You, monsieur Pew, STINK!
-->--''TinyToonAdventures''

->''Suppose I tell you exactly what's gonna happen to you. You're gonna be back in television. Only it won't be quite the same as it [[GloryDays was before]]. There'll be a reasonable cooling-off period and then somebody will say: "[[CareerResurrection Why don't we try him again]] in an inexpensive format. [[{{Nohamotyo}} People's memories aren't too long]]." And you know, in a way, he'll be right. Some of the people will forget, and some of them won't. Oh, you'll have a show. Maybe not the best hour or, you know, top 10. Maybe not even in the top 35. But you'll have a show. It just won't be quite the same as it was before. [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute Then a couple of new fellas will come along]]. And pretty soon, a lot of your fans will be flocking around them. And then one day, somebody'll ask: "Whatever happened to, a, [[YouKnowThatGuy whatshisname]]? You know, the one who was so big. The [[HollywoodHypeMachine number-one fella]] a couple of years ago. He was famous. [[HowTheMightyHaveFallen How can we forget a name like that]]? Oh by the way, have you seen, a, Barry Mills? I think he's the greatest thing since Will Rogers."''
-->--'''Mel Miller''' to "Lonesome" Rhodes in ''A Face In The Crowd''

-->--''{{Community}}'', "[[Recap/CommunityS1E06FootballFeminismAndYou Football, Feminism and You]]"

->'''Quagmire''':Ok. I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. (getting angrier) and you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing -- you're always like "Ooh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, but all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some 7th Grade interpretation about Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual, he wasn't. He was a SPOILED BRAT. And that's why you like him so much -- he's YOU. GOD, you're pretentious. (brimming with indignation) And you delude yourself by thinking you're a great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note... she woulda know there's no "A" in the word "definite." And what I think I hate most about you, is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "Legalize Pot, maaan..." How big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America... well what have YOU done to help?! I work down at the Soup Kitchen, Brian... never seen YOU down there... you wanna help? GRAB A LADLE. And by the way, driving a Prius does not make you Jesus Christ. Oh, WAIT -- you don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter... because "religion is for idiots." Well who the HELL are YOU to talk down to anyone?! You failed college TWICE, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a BORE. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic BORE. ''Sigh...'' Well, see ya later, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.

-->''TinyToonAdventures''

-->TinyToonAdventures

-->'''Fifi:''' That was my photograph! I cannot believe you!
-->'''Johnny:''' [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Yeah, well,]] [[JerkAss I am pretty unbelievable.]]
-->'''Fifi:''' You are nothing but a selfish, worthless waste of skunk! You, monsieur Pew, STINK!

-> DoctorWho: Journey's End

-->Morpheus -- ''{{Sandman}}''

-->''You disappoint me, Corinthian. You and these humans you inspired and created disappoint me. YOU were my masterpiece, or so I thought. A nightmare created to be the darkness, and the fear of darkness in every human heart. A black mirror made to reflect everything about itself that humanity will not confront. But look at you. Forty years walking the earth, honing yourself, infecting others with your joy of death, and what have you given them? What have you wrought, Corinthian? NOTHING! Just something else for people to be scared of, that's all. You've told them that there are bad people out there. And they've known that all along.''

-->'''Keats:''' You think you're so special. So clever. So needed. So damned right. You fooled everyone into believing in you. And I have the horrible, unpopular job of showing the world what you really are. The things you've done? Oh, they won't want to believe it. Because they love you. They think they know you, and they'll hate me for it. But in the end, they will see. As sad as it will be for them, they will see. I know what you did, three years ago. I know.
-->'''Gene:''' So you're gonna bring me down? Why're you telling me that?
-->'''Keats:''' See, that's what's ironic. You can't leave here, no matter what happens. This place defines you, which means you're going to have to sit here and watch me close your little kingdom forever. And you're left with a scrap heap. I just hope I can help Alex before it's too late.

You disappoint me, Corinthian. You and these humans you inspired and created disappoint me. YOU were my masterpiece, or so I thought. A nightmare created to be the darkness, and the fear of darkness in every human heart. A black mirror made to reflect everything about itself that humanity will not confront. But look at you. Forty years walking the earth, honing yourself, infecting others with your joy of death, and what have you given them? What have you wrought, Corinthian? NOTHING! Just something else for people to be scared of, that's all. You've told them that there are bad people out there. And they've known that all along.

Keats: You think you're so special. So clever. So needed. So damned right. You fooled everyone into believing in you. And I have the horrible, unpopular job of showing the world what you really are. The things you've done? Oh, they won't want to believe it. Because they love you. They think they know you, and they'll hate me for it. But in the end, they will see. As sad as it will be for them, they will see. I know what you did, three years ago. I know.
Gene: So you're gonna bring me down? Why're you telling me that?
Keats: See, that's what's ironic. You can't leave here, no matter what happens. This place defines you, which means you're going to have to sit here and watch me close your little kingdom forever. And you're left with a scrap heap. I just hope I can help Alex before it's too late.
Ashes To Ashes