History Quotes / TheReasonYouSuckSpeech

11th Dec '17 6:44:24 PM ExultantCapon
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'''Quagmire:''' Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You're always like. "Ooh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, but all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it! I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't. He was a SPOILED BRAT! And that's why you like him so much: he's YOU! GOD, you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you delude yourself by thinking you're a great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "Legalize Pot, maaan..." How big business is crushing the underclass; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well what have YOU done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian... never seen YOU down there! You wanna help? GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius does not make you Jesus Christ. Oh, WAIT! You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because (mockingly) "religion is for idiots." Well who the HELL are YOU to talk down to anyone?! You failed college TWICE, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a BORE. That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic [[TheBore BORE.]] ''Sigh...'' Well, see ya later, Brian. Thanks for the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] steak.

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'''Quagmire:''' Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife. The man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing. You're always like. "Ooh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, but all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it! I don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't. wasn't! He was a SPOILED BRAT! And that's why you like him so much: he's YOU! GOD, you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you delude yourself by thinking you're a great writer, even though you're terrible. You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "Legalize Pot, maaan..." How man," how big business is crushing the underclass; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. America! Well what have YOU done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian... never Brian! Never seen YOU down there! You wanna help? GRAB A LADLE! And by the way, driving a Prius does not make you Jesus Christ. Oh, WAIT! You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because (mockingly) "religion is for idiots." Well who the HELL are YOU to talk down to anyone?! You failed college TWICE, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a BORE. BORE! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic [[TheBore BORE.]] BORE!]] ''Sigh...'' Well, see ya later, ya, Brian. Thanks for the [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] steak.
9th Dec '17 1:24:01 PM infernape612
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-->--'''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra''', "Operation Beifong"

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-->--'''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra''', -->--''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra'', "Operation Beifong"



-->--'''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty''', "Auto Erotic Assimilation"

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-->--'''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty''', -->--''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'', "Auto Erotic Assimilation"



'''Rick:''' '''''I''''' took your family? Who do you think had taken more from them when you shot 20 CC's of liquid dreamkiller into my daughter? She was [[ThirdPersonPerson Rick's]] daughter, Jerry! She had options! That all ended because she felt sorry for you. You act like a prey, but you are a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That's how you survive. I survive cause I know everything, that snake survives because children wander off, and you survive cause people think "Ooh! This poor piece of shit, he never gets a break! I can't stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul. I guess I'll hire him, or marry him.
-->--'''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty''', "The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy"

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'''Rick:''' '''''I''''' took your family? Who do you think had taken more from them when you shot 20 CC's of liquid dreamkiller into my daughter? She was [[ThirdPersonPerson Rick's]] daughter, Jerry! She had options! That all ended because she felt sorry for you. You act like a prey, but you are a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That's how you survive. I survive cause I know everything, that snake survives because children wander off, and you survive cause people think "Ooh! This poor piece of shit, he never gets a break! I can't stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul. I guess I'll hire him, or marry him.
-->--'''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty''',
him."
-->--''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'',
"The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy"
3rd Dec '17 12:53:54 PM Hello101
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-> Oh, will you shut up?! Iím so sick of this! All you ever talk about is your Saiyan pride! How you were ''meant'' to be the strongest, how you were ''meant'' to be better than me! Thatís the craziest thing, Vegeta, you ''were'' stronger than me! I had to [[DangerousForbiddenTechnique multiply my strength]] ''four times'' to be stronger than you, and I still needed [[KidHero Gohan]], [[BestFriend Krillin]], and [[HappilyMarried Sunoís]] help to beat you! But I didnít let it bother me! You wanna know why? Because I never took anything for granted! I never just ''assumed'' [[SmallNameBigEgo that I was the best!]] Iím ''glad'' Freeza [[DoomedHometown blew up]] [[LaserGuidedKarma our stupid planet]]! Because otherwise, I might have grown up to be a ''coward'' like you! ...What else would you call it? What would you call it when the second life goes any way other than exactly how you think itís ''supposed'' to, you start to have a crisis? [[MightMakesRight What do you call it when your life is validated by being strong enough to do whatever you want]] and [[VillainousBreakdown falling apart when suddenly that changes]]? (points to the [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Majin tattoo]] on Vegeta) [[EvilIsEasy What do you call taking the easy way out]] [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter when things got hard]]? Ö Do you want to know why I let you live? Not just because you were strong. Not just because I wanted to fight you again so that I could prove I could beat you on my own. But because somewhere, deep down, I ''knew'' that you could have been ''more'' than what you were. That there wasnít that much separating what I could have been from what you were. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre I wanted to give you the chance to better yourself, to prove me right]]. But if ''[[EntitledBastard this]]'' is all you are... I shouldíve just let Krillin kill you.

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-> Oh, will you shut up?! Iím so sick of this! All you ever talk about is your Saiyan pride! How you were ''meant'' to be the strongest, how you were ''meant'' to be better than me! Thatís the craziest thing, Vegeta, you ''were'' stronger than me! I had to [[DangerousForbiddenTechnique multiply my strength]] ''four times'' to be stronger than you, and I still needed [[KidHero Gohan]], [[BestFriend Krillin]], and [[HappilyMarried Sunoís]] help to beat you! But I didnít let it bother me! You wanna know why? Because I never took anything for granted! I never just ''assumed'' [[SmallNameBigEgo that I was the best!]] Iím ''glad'' Freeza [[DoomedHometown blew up]] [[LaserGuidedKarma our stupid planet]]! Because otherwise, I might have grown up to be a ''coward'' like you! ...What else would you call it? What would you call it when the second life goes any way other than exactly how you think itís ''supposed'' to, you start to have a crisis? [[MightMakesRight What do you call it when your life is validated by being strong enough to do whatever you want]] and [[VillainousBreakdown falling apart when suddenly that changes]]? (points to the [[SuperpoweredEvilSide [[spoiler:[[SuperpoweredEvilSide Majin tattoo]] on Vegeta) Vegeta]]) [[EvilIsEasy What do you call taking the easy way out]] [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter when things got hard]]? Ö Do you want to know why I let you live? Not just because you were strong. Not just because I wanted to fight you again so that I could prove I could beat you on my own. But because somewhere, deep down, I ''knew'' that you could have been ''more'' than what you were. That there wasnít that much separating what I could have been from what you were. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre I wanted to give you the chance to better yourself, to prove me right]]. But if ''[[EntitledBastard this]]'' is all you are... I shouldíve just let Krillin kill you.
3rd Dec '17 12:52:05 PM Hello101
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-> Oh, will you shut up?! Iím so sick of this! All you ever talk about is your Saiyan pride! How you were ''meant'' to be the strongest, how you were ''meant'' to be better than me! Thatís the craziest thing, Vegeta, you ''were'' stronger than me! I had to [[DangerousForbiddenTechnique multiply my strength]] ''four times'' to be stronger than you, and I still needed [[KidHero Gohan]], [[BestFriend Krillin]], and [[HappilyMarried Sunoís]] help to beat you! But I didnít let it bother me! You wanna know why? Because I never took anything for granted! I never just ''assumed'' [[SmallNameBigEgo that I was the best!]] Iím ''glad'' Freeza [[DoomedHometown blew up]] [[LaserGuidedKarma our stupid planet]]! Because otherwise, I might have grown up to be a ''coward'' like you! ...What else would you call it? What would you call it when the second life goes any way other than exactly how you think itís ''supposed'' to, you start to have a crisis? [[MightMakesRight What do you call it when your life is validated by being strong enough to do whatever you want]] and [[VillainousBreakdown falling apart when suddenly that changes]]? (points to the [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Majin tattoo]] on Vegeta) [[EvilIsEasy What do you call taking the easy way out]] [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter when things got hard]]? Ö ďDo you want to know why I let you live? Not just because you were strong. Not just because I wanted to fight you again so that I could prove I could beat you on my own. But because somewhere, deep down, I ''knew'' that you could have been ''more'' than what you were. That there wasnít that much separating what I could have been from what you were. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre I wanted to give you the chance to better yourself, to prove me right]]. But if ''[[EntitledBastard this]]'' is all you are... I shouldíve just let Krillin kill you.Ē
* YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre: Honestly believes, even during the Cell arc, that Vegeta had it in him to become a better person if he ďdidnít take himself as seriously.Ē

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-> Oh, will you shut up?! Iím so sick of this! All you ever talk about is your Saiyan pride! How you were ''meant'' to be the strongest, how you were ''meant'' to be better than me! Thatís the craziest thing, Vegeta, you ''were'' stronger than me! I had to [[DangerousForbiddenTechnique multiply my strength]] ''four times'' to be stronger than you, and I still needed [[KidHero Gohan]], [[BestFriend Krillin]], and [[HappilyMarried Sunoís]] help to beat you! But I didnít let it bother me! You wanna know why? Because I never took anything for granted! I never just ''assumed'' [[SmallNameBigEgo that I was the best!]] Iím ''glad'' Freeza [[DoomedHometown blew up]] [[LaserGuidedKarma our stupid planet]]! Because otherwise, I might have grown up to be a ''coward'' like you! ...What else would you call it? What would you call it when the second life goes any way other than exactly how you think itís ''supposed'' to, you start to have a crisis? [[MightMakesRight What do you call it when your life is validated by being strong enough to do whatever you want]] and [[VillainousBreakdown falling apart when suddenly that changes]]? (points to the [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Majin tattoo]] on Vegeta) [[EvilIsEasy What do you call taking the easy way out]] [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter when things got hard]]? Ö ďDo Do you want to know why I let you live? Not just because you were strong. Not just because I wanted to fight you again so that I could prove I could beat you on my own. But because somewhere, deep down, I ''knew'' that you could have been ''more'' than what you were. That there wasnít that much separating what I could have been from what you were. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre I wanted to give you the chance to better yourself, to prove me right]]. But if ''[[EntitledBastard this]]'' is all you are... I shouldíve just let Krillin kill you.Ē
* YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre: Honestly believes, even during the Cell arc, that Vegeta had it in him to become a better person if he ďdidnít take himself as seriously.Ē
3rd Dec '17 12:51:06 PM Hello101
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Added DiffLines:

-> Oh, will you shut up?! Iím so sick of this! All you ever talk about is your Saiyan pride! How you were ''meant'' to be the strongest, how you were ''meant'' to be better than me! Thatís the craziest thing, Vegeta, you ''were'' stronger than me! I had to [[DangerousForbiddenTechnique multiply my strength]] ''four times'' to be stronger than you, and I still needed [[KidHero Gohan]], [[BestFriend Krillin]], and [[HappilyMarried Sunoís]] help to beat you! But I didnít let it bother me! You wanna know why? Because I never took anything for granted! I never just ''assumed'' [[SmallNameBigEgo that I was the best!]] Iím ''glad'' Freeza [[DoomedHometown blew up]] [[LaserGuidedKarma our stupid planet]]! Because otherwise, I might have grown up to be a ''coward'' like you! ...What else would you call it? What would you call it when the second life goes any way other than exactly how you think itís ''supposed'' to, you start to have a crisis? [[MightMakesRight What do you call it when your life is validated by being strong enough to do whatever you want]] and [[VillainousBreakdown falling apart when suddenly that changes]]? (points to the [[SuperpoweredEvilSide Majin tattoo]] on Vegeta) [[EvilIsEasy What do you call taking the easy way out]] [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter when things got hard]]? Ö ďDo you want to know why I let you live? Not just because you were strong. Not just because I wanted to fight you again so that I could prove I could beat you on my own. But because somewhere, deep down, I ''knew'' that you could have been ''more'' than what you were. That there wasnít that much separating what I could have been from what you were. [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre I wanted to give you the chance to better yourself, to prove me right]]. But if ''[[EntitledBastard this]]'' is all you are... I shouldíve just let Krillin kill you.Ē
* YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre: Honestly believes, even during the Cell arc, that Vegeta had it in him to become a better person if he ďdidnít take himself as seriously.Ē
-->-- '''Goku''' to '''Vegeta''' after [[spoiler:Vegeta lets Babidi Majinize him]], ''Fanfic/TalesOfTheMonkeyQueen''
3rd Dec '17 5:58:19 AM MinisterOfSinister
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->'''Superman:''' Call off your attack!\\
'''[[ComicBook/NewGods Kalibak]]:''' [[AndThenWhat Or what?]] *BeatPanel* You haven't really changed. [[SuperpowerLottery You have so much power]], Kryptonian, but there is no reason to fear you. [[CosmicPlaything The universe knows this.]] Why do you think [[AlienInvasion we]] [[JokerImmunity keep coming back]]? *Opens Boom Tube, summoning [[EliteMooks Parademons]] down on them.* You will not save this planet. Your [[VirtueIsWeakness pathetic moral code]] will see Earth burn. If [[ThouShaltNotKill you're not prepared to take a life]] -- [[VillainHasAPoint then you can't possibly fight a war]]! *Tackles Superman to the ground, burying him under a mass of Parademons* Can you hear the people? Can you see them? You can, can't you? You can see them all over the world. [[SuperSenses You can see them dying. You can hear their cries.]] ... You're weak, Kryptonian. Too weak to do what needs to be done. [[SkewedPriorities You'd rather spare the lives of your enemies than save the lives of your people.]]
-->-- ''ComicBook/InjusticeGodsAmongUs'', Year One #23

->Setting aside criminality for a moment, I wanted to ask you something else. [[ArmorPiercingQuestion Do you feel you failed your country?]] *BeatPanel* Let me tell you what I see. I see another [[{{Ubermensch}} man who has decided to put on a costume and decided to act for us rather than with us]]. I see another [[MightMakesRight man who believes he has more right to decide our future than we do]]. Another [[NiceJobBreakingItHero man who has made things catastrophically worse]]. And another [[FailureHero man of means who has completely failed to protect us]]. [[FallenHero Superman]] [[WellIntentionedExtremist had noble intentions too.]] [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans He was also trying to protect us.]] [[NotSoDifferent The only difference between you and Superman]] that I can see, [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Mr. Wayne]], is that [[RepressiveButEfficient Superman was a far more competent dictator]].
-->-- '''Unnamed Senator''', ''ComicBook/Injustice2'' #28
3rd Dec '17 1:30:25 AM lillolillo
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->'''Franchise/{{Superman}}:''' You know what, Kara? Ever since you showed up on Earth, you've been trying to get me to do one thing ó leave you alone to let you live your own life. You've been so focused on just being angry ó yes, you lost your home, and that's terrible, but you can't bring it back.\\
'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' What are you saying?\\
'''Superman:''' You've been choosing anger instead of acceptance for so long that you've become anger. You want to be your own person? Good. Be your own person. I just hope you like who you turn out to be.
-->-- ''ComicBook/RedDaughterOfKrypton''

->'''Superman:''' Forgive me, J'onn... Looks like I failed you!\\
'''ComicBook/MartianManhunter:''' No, not me, Superman óIt's the entire universe that will have to pay the price of your failure! I warned you that you were dealing with forces beyond your comprehension ó but you were just too overconfident ó too egotistical ó to listen!
-->-- ''ComicBook/WarWorld''

->'''Superman:''' Of course, none of what I've said has any meaning to you. You only know death. A blackness that has brought you nothing.\\
'''ComicBook/{{Darkseid}}:''' It has made me a god.\\
'''Superman:''' No. It has made you vulnerable.
-->-- ''ComicBook/TheSupergirlFromKrypton''

->Are you even a '''reporter''', Cat? Don't you have a '''shred''' of integrity? Or is '''pandering''' with lies and innuendo just that much '''easier''' for you? This '''isn't''' journalism! It's '''PROPAGANDA'''! And '''that''' makes you a '''tool'''. How you can '''stand''' to look at yourself in the mirror, Cat?
-->-- '''ComicBook/LoisLane''', ''[[ComicBook/Supergirl2005 The Hunt For Reactron]]''



[[folder:Fan Fiction]]

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[[folder:Fan Fiction]]Works]]
21st Nov '17 9:14:58 PM Premonition45
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->Mr Madison, that was the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point during your rambling, incoherent response were you anywhere close to what could be considered a rational human thought. Everyone here is dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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->Mr ->Mr. Madison, that was the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point during your rambling, incoherent response were you anywhere close to what could be considered a rational human thought. Everyone here is dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


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->'''[[DrillSergeantNasty Sgt. Hulka]]:''' It's time you and me had a private talk, Winger. Step into my office.
->(''they walk into the platoon bathroom'')
->'''Hulka:''' I'm getting the idea, Winger, that you don't like me.
->'''John Winger:''' Maybe I just don't know you well enough yet, Sarge.
->'''Hulka:''' What do you say let's cut out the bullshit between you and me.
->'''Winger:''' Oh, let's.
->'''Hulka:''' I think you're a punk. I've been in this Army 28 years. I've seen your kind come and go. You think you know something about everything, don't you? Let me tell you something, mister. You don't know a damn thing about soldiering.
->'''Winger:''' Oh, it's real tough stuff. Especially that marching-in-a-straight-line business.
->'''Hulka:''' I ain't talking about that crap! I'm talking about something important. Like discipline and duty and honor and courage. You ain't got none of it.
->'''Winger:''' [[SarcasmMode Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans]]. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out... but get off my back.
->'''Hulka:''' (''glares at Winger'') Maybe you'd like to take a swing at me.
->'''Winger:''' Iíd like to take a big swing at you, Sarge.
->'''Hulka:''' Well, go ahead and give it your best shot.
->'''Winger:''' I don't think I wanna go to the stockade.
->'''Hulka:''' Iíll take my hat off. (''removes his hat'') There we are, Winger. Ain't no more drill sergeant. It's just you and me, kid, man-to-man. So go ahead, give it your best shot. Swing at me. Gutless. Punk.
->(''Winger takes a swing at Hulka, who sidesteps and knees Wingerís stomach'')
->'''Hulka:''' Iím willing to forget about this little incident. And I want you to think real hard about it. And maybe someday you'll understand what the hell I'm talking about.
-->-- ''Film/{{Stripes}}''
15th Nov '17 9:06:43 AM AM_NK
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'''Bryan''': ''YES. ''[crowd goes into massive "YES" chant]''''\\

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'''Bryan''': ''YES. ''[crowd goes into massive "YES" chant]''''\\chant]\\
15th Nov '17 9:06:04 AM AM_NK
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->Nothing stops me! And before you cut me off: Raven, the reason I hate you, the reason, in my heart of hearts why I hate you, is because I didn't know any better when I was a little kid. When my dad came home smelling like beer, I thought it was a hard day's work he was doing! I didn't realise he was out at the bar, I didn't realise work meant unemployment office. I didn't think it was strange for someone to come home from work and have to take an old style up into the shower while he was in the shower, I didn't think it was strange for someone to pass out! I thought an old style, a pack a day was the norm! Wrestling/{{Raven}}, my father is [[PunctuatedForEmphasis exactly! Like! you!]] And since day one in Ring of Honor, where fighting spirit is supposed to be revered, things aren't supposed to be this way! I'd shake your hand like a normal man, but see, the truth is I don't respect you! I hate you! I hate you for everything you've pissed away, everything I've scraped and I've clawed for, that I haven't even earned yet, that you got handed to you, '''and you flushed down a toilet!''' For what? For pills? For booze? For alcohol? For women? I am born of your poison society, so on the 17th of July, [[HeWhoFightsMonsters I will become a monster to fight the monsters of the world,]] and your time in Ring of Honor will be done! And that is a promise! '''Because this is true! This is real! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THIS... IS... STRAIGHT EDGE!!!!]]'''

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->Nothing -> ''"Nothing stops me! And before you cut me off: Raven, the reason I hate you, the reason, in my heart of hearts why I hate you, is because I didn't know any better when I was a little kid. When my dad came home smelling like beer, I thought it was a hard day's work he was doing! I didn't realise realize he was out at the bar, I didn't realise work realize "work" meant unemployment office."unemployment office". I didn't think it was strange for someone to come home from work and have to take an old style up into the shower while he was in the shower, I didn't think it was strange for someone to pass out! I thought an old style, a pack a day was the norm! Wrestling/{{Raven}}, my father is [[PunctuatedForEmphasis exactly! Like! you!]] And since day one in Ring of Honor, where fighting spirit is supposed to be revered, things aren't supposed to be this way! I'd shake your hand like a normal man, but see, the truth is I don't respect you! I hate you! I hate you for everything you've pissed away, everything I've scraped and I've clawed for, that I haven't even earned yet, that you got handed to you, '''and you flushed down a toilet!''' For what? For pills? For booze? For alcohol? For women? I am born of your poison society, so on the 17th of July, [[HeWhoFightsMonsters I will become a monster to fight the monsters of the world,]] and your time in Ring of Honor will be done! And that is a promise! '''Because this is true! This is real! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THIS... IS... STRAIGHT EDGE!!!!]]'''EDGE!!!!]]'''"''



->Now far be it from me to think I owe any of you people any kind of an explanation as to why I did what I did, but I just can't resist. See, what kind of an evil genius would I be if I didn't [[JustBetweenYouAndMe extoll to you my master plan]]? The only difference being, my master plan has already come to fruition. I have, in my hands, what I set out to get, so I'll explain to you now exactly why it is I did what I did. See, if I may, I would like to tell you a story, and I know [[TheFarmerAndTheViper the last time I told you a story]], some of you were a little heartbroken. But I assure you, this story ends a little differently.\\

to:

->Now -> ''"Now far be it from me to think I owe any of you people any kind of an explanation as to why I did what I did, but I just can't cant resist. See, what kind of an evil genius would I be if I didn't [[JustBetweenYouAndMe extoll to you my master plan]]? The only difference being, my master plan has already come to fruition. I have, in my hands, what I set out to get, so I'll explain to you now exactly why it is I did what I did. See, if I may, I would like to tell you a story, and I know [[TheFarmerAndTheViper the last time I told you a story]], some of you were a little heartbroken. But I assure you, this story ends a little differently.\\



You see, about a year and a half ago, I was still working for a company called [[Wrestling/{{TNA}} Total Nonstop Action]]. Me and a couple of buddies of mine were told that we could no longer wrestle for Ring Of Honor, so what we did, and I'll name names: myself, Wrestling/JerryLynn, [[Wrestling/AJStyles The Phenomenal AJ Styles]], and [[Wrestling/ChristopherDaniels The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels]], all decided to have a little bit of a meeting late Wednesday night in Nashville, Tennessee. And I sat there and I ate my food, I looked across the table at AJ Styles, who was the Wrestling/{{N|ationalWrestlingAlliance}}WA [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/nwa/world/nwa-h.html World Champion]] at the time, a belt which, by the way, is nothing compared to the belt I hold in my hands right here. And I watched as AJ could barely eat his food, he certainly couldn't look me in the eye, because what we all agreed was if we stuck together, we could work for Ring Of Honor, we could work for whoever we wanted. I faxed a copy of my contract to the TNA offices and highlighted the part that said I could wrestle for whoever I wanted as long as their name was not [[Wrestling/VinceMcMahon Vincent K. McMahon]] or they were running a pay-per-view. I explained myself to AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. I said, AJ, you hold the belt, you hold the power, you can do things, they have to listen to what you say. They looked me in the eye and they said, We're with you, Punk, we're gonna stick together.\\

to:

You see, about a year and a half ago, I was still working for a company called [[Wrestling/{{TNA}} Total Nonstop Action]]. Me and a couple of buddies of mine were told that we could no longer wrestle for Ring Of Honor, so what we did, and I'll name names: myself, Wrestling/JerryLynn, [[Wrestling/AJStyles The Phenomenal AJ Styles]], and [[Wrestling/ChristopherDaniels The "The Fallen Angel Angel" Christopher Daniels]], all decided to have a little bit of a meeting late Wednesday night in Nashville, Tennessee. And I sat there and I ate my food, I looked across the table at AJ Styles, who was the Wrestling/{{N|ationalWrestlingAlliance}}WA [[http://www.wrestling-titles.com/nwa/world/nwa-h.html World Champion]] at the time, a belt which, by the way, is nothing compared to the belt I hold in my hands right here. And I watched as AJ could barely eat his food, he certainly couldn't look me in the eye, because what we all agreed was if we stuck together, we could work for Ring Of Honor, we could work for whoever we wanted. I faxed a copy of my contract to the TNA offices and highlighted the part that said I could wrestle for whoever I wanted as long as their name was not [[Wrestling/VinceMcMahon Vincent K. McMahon]] or they were running a pay-per-view. I explained myself to AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. I said, AJ, "AJ, you hold the belt, you hold the power, you can do things, they have to listen to what you say. say." They looked me in the eye and they said, We're "We're with you, Punk, we're gonna stick together.\\"\\



But I being done with them, I knew that was the nail in my coffin, so I made my decision, and I stayed here and I stuck with Ring of Honor, and I like to think that I built this place. And I know for a fact that there would not be a Ring of Honor for Christopher Daniels or AJ Styles to come crawling back to if it wasn't for me! '''Who do you think built this company?''' (Crowd chants Joe!) Oh, Wrestling/SamoaJoe? Is that what you think? Do you think Samoa Joe was in the ring every day, training kids, eating, sleeping, breathing Ring of Honor like I was? No, he wasn't! And Chris Daniels, and AJ Styles, and even Wrestling/LowKi turned their back on this company, and I stood tall, and I stayed here, and what did I get for it, huh? You people shit all over me! Because it was always When's AJ coming back? Oh, Low Ki throws nice kicks! Oh, Chris Daniels is so great! and the whole time, CM Punk, much like Atlas, had this entire world up on his shoulders, lifting it up, building up the young guys, showing the way, teaching them, and making sure you losers have a place to come hang out every Friday and Saturday night!\\

to:

But I being done with them, I knew that was the nail in my coffin, so I made my decision, and I stayed here and I stuck with Ring of Honor, and I like to think that I built this place. And I know for a fact that there would not be a Ring of Honor for Christopher Daniels or AJ Styles to come crawling back to if it wasn't for me! '''Who do you think built this company?''' (Crowd chants Joe!) "Joe!") Oh, Wrestling/SamoaJoe? Is that what you think? Do you think Samoa Joe was in the ring every day, training kids, eating, sleeping, breathing Ring of Honor like I was? No, he wasn't! And Chris Daniels, and AJ Styles, and even Wrestling/LowKi turned their back on this company, and I stood tall, and I stayed here, and what did I get for it, huh? You people shit all over me! Because it was always When's "When's AJ coming back? Oh, Low Ki throws nice kicks! Oh, Chris Daniels is so great! great!" and the whole time, CM Punk, much like Atlas, had this entire world up on his shoulders, lifting it up, building up the young guys, showing the way, teaching them, and making sure you losers have a place to come hang out every Friday and Saturday night!\\



So now, fast forward about a year, and I get an offer from another company. I've got an offer ''from the Wrestling/{{WWE}}.'' And what do I hear? I hear Please don't go! Please don't go! Let me hear it now! Where are you now, huh? (Crowd chants You sold out!) All you people can chant all you want! All your voices combined still isn't louder than mine! So I take this offer from the WWE. You people doubt that I actually signed a contract? I have to listen to you people doubt my ability in the ring, when I gave you the five-star, greatest technical match Ring of Honor has ever seen? When I gave you the bloodiest street fights that Ring of Honor's ever seen? People, you didn't realise it, you were in the midst of the greatest professional wrestler walking the world today, and he's in this ring right now! So I will, once again, prove the doubters wrong! You people doubt that I signed a contract with the WWE? Well, you're right! I haven't signed my contract! (Takes the contract out of his pocket) You see this? This is my key to freedom. This means I don't have to see any of you people any more. I've already proved that I'm [[CatchPhrase better than you.]] But what I'd like to do right now is sign my contract, to once again prove you all wrong. Bobby Cruise, if you could hold the belt, please, I want to sign the contract right on top of it.

to:

So now, fast forward about a year, and I get an offer from another company. I've got an offer ''from the Wrestling/{{WWE}}.'' And what do I hear? I hear Please "Please don't go! Please don't go! go!" Let me hear it now! Where are you now, huh? (Crowd chants You "You sold out!) out!") All you people can chant all you want! All your voices combined still isn't louder than mine! So I take this offer from the WWE. You people doubt that I actually signed a contract? I have to listen to you people doubt my ability in the ring, when I gave you the five-star, greatest technical match Ring of Honor has ever seen? When I gave you the bloodiest street fights that Ring of Honor's ever seen? People, you didn't realise it, you were in the midst of the greatest professional wrestler walking the world today, and he's in this ring right now! So I will, once again, prove the doubters wrong! You people doubt that I signed a contract with the WWE? Well, you're right! I haven't signed my contract! (Takes the contract out of his pocket) You see this? This is my key to freedom. This means I don't have to see any of you people any more. I've already proved that I'm [[CatchPhrase better than you.]] But what I'd like to do right now is sign my contract, to once again prove you all wrong. Bobby Cruise, if you could hold the belt, please, I want to sign the contract right on top of it."''
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