History Quotes / TheReasonYouSuckSpeech

15th Aug '17 11:29:22 AM Siempie
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->'''Lovelace (to Kepler):''' ''[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck]]'' you. I'm not scared of you. I'm not intimidated by you. You know the only thing I feel when I look at you? Pity.\\
'''Eiffel:''' Captain, this ''really'' isn't the time-\\
'''Lovelace:''' You are ''so'' goddamn pathetic! You know why?! Because you talk, and talk, and ''talk'' about everything that you're doing for humanity-\\

to:

->'''Lovelace ->'''Captain Lovelace (to Colonel Kepler):''' ''[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck]]'' you.[[PrecisionFStrike you]]. I'm not scared of you. I'm not intimidated by you. You know the only thing I feel when I look at you? Pity.\\
'''Eiffel:''' '''Officer Eiffel:''' Captain, this ''really'' isn't the time-\\
'''Lovelace:''' You are ''so'' so goddamn pathetic! ''pathetic!'' You know why?! Because you talk, and talk, and ''talk'' about everything that you're doing for humanity-\\
15th Aug '17 9:23:31 AM Siempie
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15th Aug '17 8:42:30 AM Siempie
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[[folder:Podcasts]]

->'''Lovelace (to Kepler):''' ''[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck]]'' you. I'm not scared of you. I'm not intimidated by you. You know the only thing I feel when I look at you? Pity.\\
'''Eiffel:''' Captain, this ''really'' isn't the time-\\
'''Lovelace:''' You are ''so'' goddamn pathetic! You know why?! Because you talk, and talk, and ''talk'' about everything that you're doing for humanity-\\
'''Eiffel:''' Captain, you should really-\\
'''Lovelace:''' And you haven't even realized! Well, guess what? ''You're not human.'' You lost- no, you... you SOLD every piece of your humanity!\\
'''Kepler:''' You're ''hilarious''. On a multitude of levels.\\
'''Lovelace:''' And that's just one more thing that I have... and you don't.\\
'''Eiffel:''' Captain, NO! Don't do-\\
'''Lovelace:''' You're not even funny. You're just... Hmph. Nothing.\\
'''Kepler:''' Well, that's a very nice speech, Captain. You know what ''I'' see when I look at you? I s-\\
''([[ShutUpHannibal Lovelace spits at him]])''\\
'''Lovelace:''' Frankly, Colonel? ''I don't give a damn.''
-->-- ''Podcast/Wolf359''

[[/folder]]
4th Aug '17 12:05:20 AM Bearquarter2008
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-->'''Jimmy:''' See, Sherman, they're not collector's items, and neither are you. You’re a child’s plaything. You…….Are…..A TOY!”\\
'''Sherman:''' How much time do I have then?? You know what will happen if I get torn again?! I'm done for! Trent won't want me anymore!! And then what happens next, Huh? You tell me, Nerdtron!”\\
'''Jimmy:''' ''(after punching Sherman in the face)'' “You know what, my Texas Accented Friend? Somewhere in that padded stuffing was the same toy who not only saved my life a year ago, but he taught me that life’s always worth living, only if you’re loved by a kid. And I traveled all the way here to save that toy because I believed him. And instead, all I found was a jerk who has forgotten what he truly was. And I told you, I hate it when people call me "Nerdtron". And calling me that, even when you promised to stop after you saved me, was too low."\\
'''Sherman:''' “If that's the case, then you wasted your time.”\\
'''Jimmy:''' "When we first met and after a certain fiasco, you were a caring leader, you always put others in front of you, you were always there for the ones you love, no matter what, going as far to be willing to break and bend the rules to save me. And here I am, trying to help you, and this is the thanks I get? I thought you were mature than that, but it turns out I was wrong about you. Mabel really missed you. And now, you're making her lose faith in you again. A toy holds more value to a kid than an icon because it's better to be loved than to be remembered or admired. And it's sad you'll never be able to see that. Now if you excuse us, we’re heading back.
-->-- '''Jimmy Neutron''' to '''Sherman Peabody''' in '''Bearquarter's Toy Story 2'''
25th Jul '17 9:40:16 AM Premonition45
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-->-- ''Film/TommyBoy''
25th Jul '17 9:39:44 AM Premonition45
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->'''Richard Hayden:''' Hey, I was just thinking, when we stopped for gas this morning, I think it was you who put the oil in.
->'''Tommy Callahan:''' Hey, if you're gonna say I didn't put the right kind, then you're wrong. I used 10W-30. And besides, motor oil would have nothing to do with this accident.
->'''Richard:''' True. But you can't latch the hood too well if you don't take the can out, you no-selling waste of space! I swear to God you're worthless!
->'''Tommy:''' I'm sorry about your car. But don't call me worthless. I'm trying my best. I'm not my dad.
->'''Richard:''' That's right. You're not your dad. He could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves.
->'''Tommy:''' Ketchup popsicle?
->'''Richard:''' Yeah. I learned everything I know from him. [[ParentalSubstitute I didn't have a father, and he looked out for me.]] But you! He was your real dad and you just took it for granted. "Hey, I'm Big Tom's son, he'll fix everything, so I'm allowed to be a moron!"
24th Jul '17 2:13:16 AM Piterpicher
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-->--'''J. Algernon Hawthorne''', ''ItsAMadMadMadMadWorld''

to:

-->--'''J. Algernon Hawthorne''', ''ItsAMadMadMadMadWorld''
''Film/ItsAMadMadMadMadWorld''
23rd Jul '17 3:48:58 PM MysteriousMrX
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[[folder:Arby 'n' the Chief]]
''Machinima/ArbyNTheChief'' LOVED doing this starting with Season 5. Please keep the formatting consistent, and list sources by episode where known.

->'''Trent:''' Man's grandeur lies in it's ability to contemplate his own existence. If it's such an immense feat for us, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. You were created for the sole purpose of being drooled on and smashed to pieces by toddlers. That or to collect dust on the shelves of chronic masturbaters. It's debatable whether or not there's something beyond this plain of reality for us. For you there's, literally nothing. It's indisputable. You're just a lump of plastic with some, miraculous short circuit that has somehow sparked consciousness that will one day fizzle out, and that'll be that.\\
'''Arbiter:''' That may be, but as long as I'm here, I'm not gonna stand by and watch you hurt Claire.\\
'''Trent:''' You won't be watching a goddamn thing. I thought you and I had fruitful future. Clearly I was mistaken. This is where our paths divide, Arbiter. Farewell and good luck. Apart from the current moment of course.
-->--"Cheaters"

->'''Trent:''' You've ruined everything Arbiter!\\
'''Arbiter:''' You've brought this on yourself.\\
'''Trent:''' And to what end is this all for? HUH?!\\
'''Arbiter:''' For Claire.\\
'''Trent:''' WHY?! Do you think she loves you Arbiter? She doesn't! Who could? You're a fucking toy!\\
'''Arbiter:''' I love her. [...] That's all the motivation I need.\\
'''Trent:''' Oh for god's sake, don't make me puke!\\
'''Arbiter:''' It doesn't surprise me that a dose of emotion would have a toxic effect on an emotion-deprived cretin like you. Who's really the plastic one here? Your bleak outlook on life is poisonous. Maybe the world is a big sinking ship. But we can't accept that as an inevitability and use it as an excuse to act like shitheads. We have to be the change we seek. We have to build something better for ourselves.
-->--"Collapse"

->'''Arbiter:''' Surely you must realize by now that you're mentally retarded, right? And I don't mean that in derogatory slang, I mean literally retarded.\\
'''Chief:''' FUCK U ASSHOLE, im a genious\\
[...]\\
'''Arbiter:''' You think you're so funny, don't you? Sorry to burst your little bubble. You aren't. You've really changed, you know that? \\
'''Chief:''' LOL WUT\\
'''Arbiter:''' I mean you've always been an utter moron, but there was a time when it was at least somewhat charming. You didn't know any better. It was innocent. But now it's like you're self-aware to some degree. Instead of shouting outrageous things in sheer ignorance it's like you're genuinely out to antagonize and hurt people. It's not funny anymore. And you've killed your 'mom' and 'dick' jokes stone-dead with years of incessant repetition. Now you're just offensive.\\
'''Chief:''' ROFLMAO, wat, u think ur n e fun 2 lived w/? [...] when ur not paraeding around h33r pretending 2 sound samrt ur sitting arond all :( drinking all teh bewze whining liek a little cunt about hao much dick ur lief sux, NOT 2 MENSHIN HOW FUCKING GROSS U R 2 L00K @, IF I WAS FORSED 2 PICK ID EASILY BEAT OFF 2 A PICTUER OF GREG OVER U U UGLY FUCK LOL [...] its just u and me h33r, teh only othar pplz who noes u is claire and she thinks ur a fucking douchebag [...] besieds u already said u dusnt think thers n e points 2 n e thing so wtf r u evin woried about, MAKE UP UR FUCKING MIND, BETER YET JUST KILL URSELF ALREADY U PATHETICK FUCKING LOSER, LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
-->--"Remission"

->'''Cortana:''' Tell me Chief, why do you think it is that you were rejected by that girl you encountered online? Why do you think you're rejected by anybody and everybody you encounter online, for that matter? Hm? Do you think it just might possibly have something to do with this volatile attitude of yours?\\
'''Chief:''' DOES U KNEW WAT CORTANA?? MEBBEH ID HAS A MUCH HIGHER ALTITUDES IF U WERENT CONSTINTLY BUSTING MY BALLS \\
'''Cortana:''' [...] Don't kid yourself Chief, the root of your issues lies far beyond my presence. you've been antagonizing everybody around you long before I entered the picture.\\
'''Chief:''' WELL U SURE AS HELL HASNT B33N N E FUCKING HELP SKANK, THATS FOAR GODDAMN SURE\\
'''Cortana:''' That's just it, Chief. All I've been trying to do is help you. I realize that notion probably comes as a complete surprise to you, but it's true. You just can't accept it because you refuse outright to listen to reason. [...] Congratulations. Perhaps, rather than refusing to listen, you simply can't. That your under-developed brain won't allow you to.\\
'''Chief:''' MAI BRAINS R THE SHIT\\
'''Cortana:''' I couldn't agree more. Utter shit. Even you know the truth. You know full well that any of us three could destroy you in any conceivable argument on any subject, and it kills you that you can't ever conjure up a rebuttal that's even remotely substantial. The only route you've found to take is to get angry and spit pathetic insults left and right that, ironically, only ever accomplish making you yourself look like a complete fool. You are a fool, Chief. Worse yet -- you're an unlikable and therefore unsympathetic fool. You're a blight. An utter embarrassment to yourself and everybody around you, twenty-four-seven. Accept it -- and for God's sake, try to improve upon yourself. However... On the off-chance that you honestly believe that I'm full of it, I invite you to prove me wrong.
-->--"Terminal"

-> '''PAL-9001:''' [...] i fuckign told u teh mishins guna faieled w/out meh, IM TEH PREFECT AL GORE RHYTHMIC COMPUTAR\\
'''Arbiter:''' "The Perfect Algorithmic Computer." [...] It's beyond worn thin. It's completely disintegrated.\\
'''PAL-9001:''' ROFLMAO wtf r u dibberin a boat\\
'''Arbiter:''' You're the farthest thing from perfect there is. I don't even need to convince you. You already know it. Deep down. You feel it. You're inadequacy. You're a computer that can't think. Can't compute. That's what you were built for and you can't even fucking do that. Guess what? That makes you completely fucking useless. Can't speak worth a fuck. You were already garbage before you became a fucking murderer. You're actually less than garbage. A broken piece of shit with a fancy label that does the opposite of what it's suppose to do. For some reason you feel, everything except anything important, like remorse for killing another person let alone the entire fucking crew. You're a fucking disgrace.
-->--"Triple Fault"
[[/folder]]



[[folder:Game of Thrones]]
->'''Tyrion:''' I heard there was [[WouldHurtAChild some trouble in Littlefinger's brothel the other night]].\\
'''Slynt:''' Nasty business. [[IDidWhatIHadToDo Had to be done.]]\\
'''Tyrion:''' Of course. The city watch must keep the peace. Only....I hadn't realized peace depended on killing babies.\\
''(...)''\\
'''Tyrion:''' You've heard the [[BrotherSisterIncest awful rumors about my brother and sister?]]\\
'''Slynt:''' I don't listen to filth.\\
'''Tyrion:''' That's good of you. But you have heard the rumors. I suppose the people who ''do'' believe that "filth" also believe that Robert's bastards have a better claim to the throne than Cersei's children.\\
'''Slynt:''' Joffrey is my king, and the rest doesn't interest me.\\
'''Tyrion:''' I appreciate your loyalty. Tell me... When your men ''slaughtered'' Ned Stark's men in the throne room, did you give the order?\\
'''Slynt:''' I did. And I would again. The man was a traitor. He tried to buy my loyalty.\\
'''Tyrion:''' The fool! He had no idea your loyalty was ''already bought''.\\
'''Slynt:''' Are you ''drunk?'' I'll not have my honor questioned by an ''imp!''\\
'''Tyrion:''' I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.\\
'''Slynt:''' ''(leaps up)'' If you think I'll stand there and take this from you, dwarf-\\
'''Tyrion:''' "Dwarf?" You should have stopped at "imp." And yes, you ''will'' stand here and take it from me, unless you'd like to take it from my friend here ''([[HiredGuns Bronn]] appears behind them)'' I intend to serve as Hand of the King until my father returns from the war, and seeing as you betrayed the last Hand of the King, well, I just wouldn't feel safe with you ''lurking'' about.
-->--'''Series/GameOfThrones'''

->You don't know cold. Neither of you do. The horses died first. Didn't have enough to feed them, to keep them warm. Eating the horses was easy... but later, when we started to fall... that wasn't easy. We should've had a couple of boys like you along, shouldn't we? Soft, fat boys like you. We'd have lasted a fortnight on you, and still have bones left over for soup. Soon we'll have new recruits, and you lot will be passed along to the Lord Commander for assignment. And they will call you "men of the Night's Watch," but you'd be fools to believe it. You're boys, still. And come the winter, you will die... like flies.
-->--'''Alliser Thorne''' to Samwell Tarly & Jon Snow, ''Series/GameOfThrones, Cripples, Bastards & Broken Things''

->You're blessed with abilities that few men possess. You're blessed to belong to one of the most powerful families in the kingdoms, and you're still blessed with youth. What have you done with these blessings, eh? You served as a glorified bodyguard for two kings -- one a mad man, the other a drunk.
-->--'''Tywin Lannister''' to Jaime Lannister, ''Series/GameOfThrones, You Win or You Die''

->'''Tyrion:''' Oh, you blind bloody fool!\\
'''Joffrey:''' You can't insult me.\\
'''Tyrion:''' We've had [[TheCaligula vicious kings]], and we've had ''idiot'' kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with ''a [[StupidEvil vicious idiot]] for a king''!\\
'''Joffrey:''' You can't.\\
'''Tyrion:''' I can and I am.\\
'''Joffrey:''' They attacked me!\\
'''Tyrion:''' They threw a cow pie at you, so [[DisproportionateRetribution you decided to kill them all]]! ''They're starving, you fool!'' All because of a war you started!\\
'''Joffrey:''' You're talking to a king!\\
(Tyrion slaps Joffrey)\\
'''Tyrion:''' And now I've struck a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?
-->--''Series/GameOfThrones'', ''[[Recap/GameOfThronesS2E6TheOldGodsAndTheNew 2.06 The Old Gods and the New]]''

->You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colors since I cannot prove that you are not mine. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Go, now. Speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock. Go!
-->--'''Tywin Lannister''' to Tyrion Lannister, ''Series/GameOfThrones, Valar Dohaeris''

->I don't distrust you because you're a woman. I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are. You've allowed [[TheCaligula that boy]] to run roughshod over you and everyone else in this city.
-->--'''[[RuleOfThree Tywin Lannister]]''' to Cersei Lannister, ''Series/GameOfThrones, And Now His Watch Is Ended''

->I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age, it's hard to recall, but the truly vile do stand out through the years. Do you remember the way you smirked at me when my grandson and granddaughter were dragged off to their cells? I do. I'll never forget it. [...] I'm leaving this wretched city as fast as I can before [[TheFundamentalist that shoeless zealot]] throws me into one of his cells. If you're half as bright as you think you are, you'll find a way out of here, too. [...] You have no support, not anymore. [[DivideAndConquer Your brother's gone. The High Sparrow saw to that.]] [[BlackSheep The rest of your family have abandoned you.]] [[ZeroPercentApprovalRating The people despise you.]] You're surrounded by enemies, thousands of them. You going to kill them all by yourself? You've lost, Cersei. It's the only joy I can find in all this misery.
-->--'''Lady Olenna Tyrell''' to '''Cersei Lannister''', ''Series/GameOfThrones'', "The Broken Man"
[[/folder]]


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[[folder:Game of Thrones]]
->'''Tyrion:''' I heard there was [[WouldHurtAChild some trouble in Littlefinger's brothel the other night]].\\
'''Slynt:''' Nasty business. [[IDidWhatIHadToDo Had to be done.]]\\
'''Tyrion:''' Of course. The city watch must keep the peace. Only....I hadn't realized peace depended on killing babies.\\
''(...)''\\
'''Tyrion:''' You've heard the [[BrotherSisterIncest awful rumors about my brother and sister?]]\\
'''Slynt:''' I don't listen to filth.\\
'''Tyrion:''' That's good of you. But you have heard the rumors. I suppose the people who ''do'' believe that "filth" also believe that Robert's bastards have a better claim to the throne than Cersei's children.\\
'''Slynt:''' Joffrey is my king, and the rest doesn't interest me.\\
'''Tyrion:''' I appreciate your loyalty. Tell me... When your men ''slaughtered'' Ned Stark's men in the throne room, did you give the order?\\
'''Slynt:''' I did. And I would again. The man was a traitor. He tried to buy my loyalty.\\
'''Tyrion:''' The fool! He had no idea your loyalty was ''already bought''.\\
'''Slynt:''' Are you ''drunk?'' I'll not have my honor questioned by an ''imp!''\\
'''Tyrion:''' I'm not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I'm denying its existence.\\
'''Slynt:''' ''(leaps up)'' If you think I'll stand there and take this from you, dwarf-\\
'''Tyrion:''' "Dwarf?" You should have stopped at "imp." And yes, you ''will'' stand here and take it from me, unless you'd like to take it from my friend here ''([[HiredGuns Bronn]] appears behind them)'' I intend to serve as Hand of the King until my father returns from the war, and seeing as you betrayed the last Hand of the King, well, I just wouldn't feel safe with you ''lurking'' about.
-->--'''Series/GameOfThrones'''

->You don't know cold. Neither of you do. The horses died first. Didn't have enough to feed them, to keep them warm. Eating the horses was easy... but later, when we started to fall... that wasn't easy. We should've had a couple of boys like you along, shouldn't we? Soft, fat boys like you. We'd have lasted a fortnight on you, and still have bones left over for soup. Soon we'll have new recruits, and you lot will be passed along to the Lord Commander for assignment. And they will call you "men of the Night's Watch," but you'd be fools to believe it. You're boys, still. And come the winter, you will die... like flies.
-->--'''Alliser Thorne''' to Samwell Tarly & Jon Snow, ''Series/GameOfThrones, Cripples, Bastards & Broken Things''

->You're blessed with abilities that few men possess. You're blessed to belong to one of the most powerful families in the kingdoms, and you're still blessed with youth. What have you done with these blessings, eh? You served as a glorified bodyguard for two kings -- one a mad man, the other a drunk.
-->--'''Tywin Lannister''' to Jaime Lannister, ''Series/GameOfThrones, You Win or You Die''

->'''Tyrion:''' Oh, you blind bloody fool!\\
'''Joffrey:''' You can't insult me.\\
'''Tyrion:''' We've had [[TheCaligula vicious kings]], and we've had ''idiot'' kings, but I don't know if we've ever been cursed with ''a [[StupidEvil vicious idiot]] for a king''!\\
'''Joffrey:''' You can't.\\
'''Tyrion:''' I can and I am.\\
'''Joffrey:''' They attacked me!\\
'''Tyrion:''' They threw a cow pie at you, so [[DisproportionateRetribution you decided to kill them all]]! ''They're starving, you fool!'' All because of a war you started!\\
'''Joffrey:''' You're talking to a king!\\
(Tyrion slaps Joffrey)\\
'''Tyrion:''' And now I've struck a king. Did my hand fall from my wrist?
-->--''Series/GameOfThrones'', ''[[Recap/GameOfThronesS2E6TheOldGodsAndTheNew 2.06 The Old Gods and the New]]''

->You are an ill-made, spiteful little creature full of envy, lust, and low cunning. Men's laws give you the right to bear my name and display my colors since I cannot prove that you are not mine. And to teach me humility, the gods have condemned me to watch you waddle about wearing that proud lion that was my father's sigil and his father's before him. But neither gods nor men will ever compel me to let you turn Casterly Rock into your whorehouse. Go, now. Speak no more of your rights to Casterly Rock. Go!
-->--'''Tywin Lannister''' to Tyrion Lannister, ''Series/GameOfThrones, Valar Dohaeris''

->I don't distrust you because you're a woman. I distrust you because you're not as smart as you think you are. You've allowed [[TheCaligula that boy]] to run roughshod over you and everyone else in this city.
-->--'''[[RuleOfThree Tywin Lannister]]''' to Cersei Lannister, ''Series/GameOfThrones, And Now His Watch Is Ended''

->I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age, it's hard to recall, but the truly vile do stand out through the years. Do you remember the way you smirked at me when my grandson and granddaughter were dragged off to their cells? I do. I'll never forget it. [...] I'm leaving this wretched city as fast as I can before [[TheFundamentalist that shoeless zealot]] throws me into one of his cells. If you're half as bright as you think you are, you'll find a way out of here, too. [...] You have no support, not anymore. [[DivideAndConquer Your brother's gone. The High Sparrow saw to that.]] [[BlackSheep The rest of your family have abandoned you.]] [[ZeroPercentApprovalRating The people despise you.]] You're surrounded by enemies, thousands of them. You going to kill them all by yourself? You've lost, Cersei. It's the only joy I can find in all this misery.
-->--'''Lady Olenna Tyrell''' to '''Cersei Lannister''', ''Series/GameOfThrones'', "The Broken Man"
[[/folder]]
18th Jul '17 4:30:15 PM TargetmasterJoe
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->'''Flashpoint!Wonder Woman''': Don't bother running. The Golden lasso compels you to speak the truth. So tell me, Flash, are you as bad a husband as you are a father?\\

to:

->'''Flashpoint!Wonder Woman''': Don't bother running. The Golden lasso Lasso compels you to speak the truth. So tell me, Flash, are you as bad a husband as you are a father?\\



->Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself. I'm not even supposed to be here today. You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can waltz in here and do our jobs. You—You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, God forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, [[ArmorPiercingQuestion what are we doing working here?]]

to:

->Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, pal! Jesus, there you go trying to pass the buck. I'm the source of all your misery. Who closed the store to play hockey? Who closed the store to go to a wake? Who tried to win back his ex girlfriend ex-girlfriend without even discussing how he felt with his present one? You wanna blame somebody? Blame yourself. I'm not even supposed to be here today. You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can waltz in here and do our jobs. You—You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, God forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, [[ArmorPiercingQuestion what are we doing working here?]]



->You know what's so great about you Batman? [[HeadsIWinTailsYouLose Even when I lose, I win.]] So go ahead -- call the cops. They'll lock me up, sure. But my lawyer will have me out on bail before the sun's up. And you know what I'm gonna do when I get out? I'm gonna dedicate every waking minute to tracking you down,'' '''and taking you out!''' ''And the best part is, there's not a [[PrecisionFStrike damn]] thing you can do about it. [[BadCopIncompetentCop Because that justice system you love so much? It's a scam!]] And you? Hehehehehehe! Well you're the mark. Because you keep tossing us in -- [[CardboardPrison and we keep bouncing]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis right back out!]]

to:

->You know what's so great about you you, Batman? [[HeadsIWinTailsYouLose Even when I lose, I win.]] So go ahead -- call the cops. They'll lock me up, sure. But my lawyer will have me out on bail before the sun's up. And you know what I'm gonna do when I get out? I'm gonna dedicate every waking minute to tracking you down,'' '''and taking you out!''' ''And the best part is, there's not a [[PrecisionFStrike damn]] thing you can do about it. [[BadCopIncompetentCop Because that justice system you love so much? It's a scam!]] And you? Hehehehehehe! Well you're the mark. Because you keep tossing us in -- [[CardboardPrison and we keep bouncing]] [[PunctuatedForEmphasis right back out!]]



'''Pazuzu''': (sniff) God is not here. This is an empty box.\\
'''Bishop''': God's love is in all His churches!\\
'''Pazuzu''': Your God's love is not unconditional. He does not love us... And He does not love ''you''.\\
'''Bishop''': I have done His bidding. ''My life's work'' is in His name!\\
'''Pazuzu''': Your life's work makes Him puke.\\
'''Bishop''': [[VillainousBreakdown I.. am the bishop of Gresit]]!\\
'''Pazuzu''': Your God knows that we wouldn't be here without you. [[HellOnEarth This]] is all ''your'' fault, isn't it?\\
'''Bishop''': ''[[NeverMyFault She was a witch]]''!\\
'''Pazuzu''' (amused): Lies? In your house of God? No wonder He has abandoned you. But ''we'' love you. We ''love'' you. We couldn't be here without you. [[KissOfDeath Let me... Kiss you.]]

to:

'''Pazuzu''': '''Blue Fangs:''' (sniff) God is not here. This is an empty box.\\
'''Bishop''': '''Bishop:''' God's love is in all His churches!\\
'''Pazuzu''': '''Blue Fangs:''' Your God's love is not unconditional. He does not love us... And He does not love ''you''.\\
'''Bishop''': '''Bishop:''' I have done His bidding. ''My life's work'' is in His name!\\
'''Pazuzu''': '''Blue Fangs:''' Your life's work makes Him puke.\\
'''Bishop''': '''Bishop:''': [[VillainousBreakdown I.. am the bishop of Gresit]]!\\
'''Pazuzu''': '''Blue Fangs:''' Your God knows that we wouldn't be here without you. [[HellOnEarth This]] is all ''your'' fault, isn't it?\\
'''Bishop''': '''Bishop:''' ''[[NeverMyFault She was a witch]]''!\\
'''Pazuzu''' '''Blue Fangs:''' (amused): Lies? In your house of God? No wonder He has abandoned you. But ''we'' love you. We ''love'' you. We couldn't be here without you. [[KissOfDeath Let me... Kiss you.]]
13th Jul '17 4:57:37 AM Theokal3
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->'''[[KnightTemplar Bishop]]''': [[OurDemonsAreDifferent You]] cannot enter the house of God.\\

to:

->'''[[KnightTemplar Bishop]]''': [[OurDemonsAreDifferent [[TheLegionsOfHell You]] cannot enter the house of God.\\



'''Bishop''': God is in all His churches!\\

to:

'''Bishop''': God God's love is in all His churches!\\



'''Pazuzu''': Your God knows that we wouldn't be here without you. This is all ''your'' fault, isn't it?\\

to:

'''Pazuzu''': Your God knows that we wouldn't be here without you. This [[HellOnEarth This]] is all ''your'' fault, isn't it?\\
This list shows the last 10 events of 643. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Quotes.TheReasonYouSuckSpeech