History Quotes / TheProblemWithLicensedGames

-->-- '''[[TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/the-adventures-of-rocky-and-bullwinkle-2000-des-mcanuff/ on]] ''Film/RockyAndBullwinkle''

->''"Although they still produced some cracking arcade conversions and original titles around this time, the licensed games are largely what most people remember about them anyhow, because they continued to pump them out to the bitter end of the 8-bit machines and beyond, by which time their once pristine reputation had taken [[CreatorKiller a hell of a beating.]]"''
-->-- '''Kimble Justice''' on Ocean Software, "The A-Z of Licensed Games: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsZH4ynG2WA Navy Seals]]"

->''"Part of the problem is that every dollar spent on acquiring the license is money not put into making a fun game."''
-->-- '''"Richard Del Medio"''' (pseudonym of ''Film/BluesBrothers2000'' developer [[http://blog.hardcoregaming101.net/2012/08/who-is-richard-del-medio-kusoge.html?showComment=1392000542109#c2633948280892534979 Jared Baierschmidt]]), ''Magazine/ElectronicGamingMonthly'', "How Bad Games Get Made"

-->-- '''Creator/JonTron'''

->''"The first stage, a boat chase through the waters of a European city, may well have been ripped straight from ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade'', which was released the year prior. (There's nothing particularly wrong with that though, considering Lucasfilm's own action games based off ''The Last Crusade'' were pretty bad.)"''
-->-- '''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/edrandy/edrandy.htm Kurt Kalata]]''' on ''The Cliffhanger:Edward Randy'' ({{Creator/DataEast}})

->''"Even ''{{Series/Dallas}}'' would be better -- characters clearly have [[DeathIsCheap extra lives]], and you can at least shoot JR."''
-->-- '''[[http://projectnes.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-which-something-finally-snaps.html Dr. Phil Sandifer]]''' finally snaps, ''Series/GilligansIsland'' for NES

-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Film/MinorityReport: Everybody Runs''

'''Spoony:''' (sputtering) The alarm goes off, the guy '''locks down the briefing room''' so you can escape out the front door, which is locked. And the key...is in '''''[[CutsceneIncompetence THEE BRIEFING ROOM]]''''', '''KISS''' my ass!

'''Spoony:''' (sputtering) The alarm goes off, the guy ''locks down the briefing room'' so you can escape out the front door'', which is locked, and the key...is in '''''[[CutsceneIncompetence the briefing room]]''''', '''KISS''' my ass!

-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''Film/BackToTheFuture'' for the NES

->'''Spoony:''' Just like O.J., when you're wanted for murder, "Everybody Runs". So that's exactly what I do; beat up a few guys along the way and run for the front door, but door's locked.\\

'''Spoony:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAT!!]]''''' Fuck you. I can't even--? The objective of the level--?! The alarm goes off, ''the guy locks down the briefing room so you can escape out the front door'', which is locked, and the key...is in '''''[[CutsceneIncompetence the briefing room]]''''', '''KISS''' my ass!

->''"Although they still produced some cracking arcade conversions and original titles around this time, the licensed games are largely what most people remember about them anyhow, because they continued to pump them out to the bitter end of the 8-bit machines and beyond, by which time their once pristine reputation had taken [[CreatoKiller a hell of a beating.]]"''

->''"Although they still produced some cracking arcade conversions and original titles around this time, the licensed games are largely what most people remember about them anyhow, because they continued to pump them out to the bitter end of the 8-bit machines and beyond, by which time their once pristine reputation had taken a hell of a beating.

-->--'''JimSterling''', [[whttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_O4K5HQtgo "Top Ten Shittiest Games of 2014"]]

->''"You know a game's gonna be something special when it's got ''[='=]The Video Game'[='=] somewhere in its title."''

->You buy them, though, don't you? Nobody's making you, nobody's standing there with a gun at your head, but you still flock down to the shops and fork out money for the latest dull-witted [[Creator/SylvesterStallone Stallone]] action platformer (except [[AdaptationDyeJob it doesn't have Stallone in it]], because that costs extra, and why bother when the dumb saps will buy a box of dismembered dog's organs [[CoversAlwaysLie as long as it's got the film poster on the box?]]) as soon as you see the nice pretty pictures on the nice glossy advert.

->Hey, comic books, why don't you stop hopping into that big cold film industry bed and come snuggle up by the fire with games on more permanent basis? You know all ''he'' can offer is ''{{Film/Green Lantern}}s'' and ''{{Film/Catwoman}}s'' and he's just gonna waft you out like a dutch oven the moment you stop making money.\\\

Aw, don't be like that, baby, ''{{VideoGame/Superman 64}}'' '''''was YEARS ago!'''''

->Video games based on movies are almost universally terrible, we all know that. The studios want them to be [[ProductPlacement commercials]], the game designers [[AdaptationDecay haven't seen the movie yet]] and the only people who buy them are confused grandparents [[MyNewGiftIsLame late for a birthday party]].

->Movies have always been a questionable source for video game adaptations, partly because they have plots and stories, and partly because people in movies don't jump around a lot or pick up power-ups very often.

->I tend to gravitate towards games based on films and TV shows--a gamer’s {{Russian roulette}} if there ever was one. To be frank, most games based on films tend to have the same effect on me as being stuck behind a really slow driver who’s either asleep at the wheel or possibly deceased.

->In many cases, it's akin to forcing a square peg into a round hole as the license's basis is far removed from any engaging interactive context. A movie can be action packed, but not in a similar way that works in a video game. The movie ''{{Film/Jaws}}'' is suspenseful and ends with a literal bang, but most of it deals with character interaction, mostly in speech, or watching a slow buildup to a swimmer's death. Ergo why the video game takes on it have you instead [[UnderTheSea swimming and harpooning fish]] or [[VillainProtagonist playing as the shark yourself.]] The best and/or easiest properties to make the transition tend to have scenes or focus with shooting or battling, with many decent or some of the best in the genre for run'n'gun, shmup, or tournament fighters like ''{{Film/Aliens}}'', ''TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles'', ''DragonBall'' being just a few with noteworthy titles. Otherwise, it becomes an IP stuck into whatever manner of game of choice like having the citizens of [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Springfield]] skateboarding or wrestling or making a side scroller with [[MerchandiseDriven whatever snack food or soft drink mascot]] available.

->''Edward Randy'' doesn't really bother to hide its inspiration from ''Franchise/IndianaJones''. He looks like an American action hero, and while he doesn't wear a fedora, he does carry a whip. The first stage, a boat chase through the waters of a European city, may well have been ripped straight from ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade'', which was released the year prior. (There's nothing particularly wrong with that though, considering Lucasfilm's own action games based off ''The Last Crusade'' were pretty bad.)

->There's a famous story of market research that says that the electric knife was almost not brought to market because research showed that nobody would actually use one. Until someone noticed that, although nobody wanted one, tons of people would buy them as gifts for other people. And so, despite the fact that there was no actual demand for the product, the electric knife was launched.\\\
But that somber indictment of capitalism seems like an [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/continued-existence-of-edible-arrangements-disprov,19856/ Edible Arrangement]] compared to ''Series/GilligansIsland'', the {{NES}} game. ''Gilligan's Island'', off the air for twenty-two years at the time of the game's release, was hardly the model of a property beloved by youth and college kids with disposable incomes. Nor is 'Oh bugger we're stuck on an island and bloody incompetent' the image of an exciting action game. Even ''{{Series/Dallas}}'' would be better -- characters clearly have [[DeathIsCheap extra lives]], and you can at least shoot JR.
-->-- '''[[http://projectnes.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-which-something-finally-snaps.html Dr. Phil Sandifer]]''' finally snaps

->People loved ''Film/WaynesWorld''. They loved the skit, they loved the movie, so they should have loved the game, right? [[LittleNo No.]] We were tools enough to jerk our pelvises at nearby women and scream, "Schwing!" for a couple years, but we weren't tools enough to buy this.

->I don’t think I can hold your suspense on whether this movie is bad. But the real question is ''how'' bad? I gauge the absolute worst on the level of the ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' NES game which I actually played btw.

->After all, what is Holmes' hallmark? An eye always open for details, a strong grasp of scientific matters and a mind able to piece seemingly unrelated clues together. Put that into a game, and it translates as: {{pixel hunting}}, [[ViewersAreGeniuses obscure knowledge]] and [[MoonLogicPuzzle leaps of logic]] -- not exactly an engaging prospect.

->Movies, and games, have a sordid past. It started as ill attempts to capture the cinematic flair of a [[ETTheExtraTerrestrial rousing Spielberg flick]], with a globule of pixels. Now games have cameras of their own, but things aren't much better, as games are rushed out to meet film premiere date, and cash in on the hype, at the price of quality. While bad movies often make bad games, its when a great movie spawns an interactive atrocity, when things hit rock bottom. Though these days, its the rule, not the exception.

->Presumably Creator/{{Sega}} took a look at the Famicom catalog and note that games based on cartoons were supposed to be slapdash, generic affairs.

->They don’t make games like this very often anymore, but there’s a good reason for that. Because people wised up about buying licensed games when they were full retail titles. Let’s hope they’re still smart enough to do it when they’re $10.

->Let me give you some advice: Never play a movie-based game, you know why? Okay, okay. They ''fuck'' you with the movie games, okay? They fuck you, they fuck you, they know you're gonna buy the game and by the time you play the game and realize you got fucked, it's too late! They don't care! And after they get done fucking you, they fuck you some more! Who got fucked? The ones who bought the game! The ones who rented it were the lucky ones! They fuck you with the graphics, fuck you with the the music, fuck you with the gameplay, they fuck you, they fuck you, they fuck you!
-->--''TheAngryVideoGameNerd''

->All NES movie adaptations, not just those aforementioned R-rated flicks, were terrible representations of their source material. Making games was an experimental process in 1989, even more so than today, when so many established formulas have proven successful. Couple that creative spirit with antiquated tech like the then 6-year-old Famicom, and developers had to be imaginative in how they brought movies to life as games. “Imaginative” is putting it gently, in fact. [[WidgetSeries They had to get weird.]] (...) LJN, the publisher behind both the screwy ''VideoGame/BackToTheFuture'' adaptation and the serviceable ''Major League Baseball'' mentioned earlier, churned out dozens of movie, cartoon, and comic book games between 1987 and 1995, and [[FakeDifficulty almost all of them were nightmares to play.]] Even at their worst, though, [[SnarkBait most were memorable.]]

->What's he [[HeartsAreHealth catching hearts]] for? I suppose it's like in the movie where Lorraine has a crush on Marty. Why isn't he ''avoiding'' the hearts then? Oh, I see. I guess he's catching them in a book or something. It's the most [[LiteralMinded literal interpretation]] of a movie. ''"It's about time, so let's have ''clocks!'' It's about romance, let's have ''hearts!''"'' Was this game designed by a human being? ...After that, it's the Enchantment Under The Sea dance where Marty plays guitar. What do you do?\\\
You have to catch musical notes. What more did you expect?\\\
I'll tell you one thing, it's certainly no ''VideoGame/GuitarHero'' or ''VideoGame/RockBand''! ...Wouldn't this have been an opportune time to hear "Earth Angel" or "Johnny B. Goode?" ({{double take}}) OK, wait a minute. It ''is'' Johnny B. Goode. On '''[[SensoryAbuse crack!]]'''

->I understand that [[TheNineties back then]], if it had a '''face''', they made a frickin' game out of it, but really? ''Series/HomeImprovement:'' '''''THE GAME'''''? I mean, for shit's sake, have some restraint! That's about as good an idea as making a [[FirstPersonShooter FPS]] out of ''Series/SisterSister''.

->'''Spoony:''' Back at the ranch--you guessed it--the Precogs finger Anderton to commit the next murder...Just like O.J., when you're wanted for murder, "Everybody Runs". So that's exactly what I do; beat up a few guys along the way and run for the front door, but door's locked.\\

'''Spoony:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAT!!]]''''' ''Fuck'' you! I can't even--! The objective of the level--!! The alarm goes off so ''the guy locks down the briefing room so you can escape out the front door''-- which is locked! And the key...is in '''''[[CutsceneIncompetence the briefing room]]''''', KISS my ass! So now you have to run all the way back up there, and now '''every cop and his brother''' is in your way! Well good thing Barry bought you all that extra time then, you jackhat!

->Ocean truly realized how lucrative these licenses could be, and started buying up everything they could get their grubby little mitts on... The games weren't bad, but people quickly grew tired of them because they were damn near identical... Basically, Ocean's games started to feel as if they were coming off an assembly line, and they also ended up making games that were just flat-out total shit... All of the imagination just seemed to leave the building when it came to Ocean. Although they still produced some cracking arcade conversions and original titles around this time, the licensed games are largely what most people remember about them anyhow, because they continued to pump them out to the bitter end of the 8-bit machines and beyond, by which time their once pristine reputation had taken a hell of a beating.
-->-- '''Kimble Justice''', "The A-Z of Licensed Games: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsZH4ynG2WA Navy Seals]]"

->After the planning stages we had a pretty solid game design document...Then the word came down from a lawyer at Columbia working for [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnie]] that he didn't want to be associated with violence and the game should not feature him wielding guns. Even dynamite was included which messed up the plans for a toy company that was ready to go with a ''Last Action Hero'' doll holding dynamite -- I heard they ended up [[FamilyFriendlyFirearms recoloring it bright orange so it doesn't look quite like dynamite]].\\\
This was complete disaster for our game storyboard of course, and there was a very hurried meeting in the London offices where we discussed alternatives. The game had a completely fixed deadline, there was no possibility of extension and communications with the American lawyer took ages (I think everything got proposed to either Arnie himself or to some sort of image consultant... either way a simple question like 'can he punch' [[OurLawyersAdvisedThisTrope took a long time to get answered]])...I think everyone involved in the project did a sterling job to turn a complete disaster into a game that was vaguely playable. It will always be remembered as yet another very bad film licensed video game

->Game publishers seem to think that having a recognizable brand name will hypnotize players into ignoring bad graphics or nonexistent gameplay. History has repeatedly proven them wrong... Part of the problem is that every dollar spent on acquiring the license is money not put into making a fun game.

->''Edward Randy'' doesn't really bother to hide its inspiration from ''Film/IndianaJones''. He looks like an American action hero, and while he doesn't wear a fedora, he does carry a whip. The first stage, a boat chase through the waters of a European city, may well have been ripped straight from ''Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade'', which was released the year prior. (There's nothing particularly wrong with that though, considering Lucasfilm's own action games based off ''The Last Crusade'' were pretty bad.)
-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/edrandy/edrandy.htm Kurt Kalata]]''' on ''The Cliffhanger:Edward Randy'' ({{Creator/DataEast}})

-->--'''[[http://projectnes.blogspot.com/2011/04/in-which-something-finally-snaps.html Dr. Phil Sandifer]]''' finally snaps

-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', "[[http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/basedoncrap03.htm The 10 Worst Ideas to Make Nintendo Games About]]"

-->--'''[[TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2013/08/25/the-adventures-of-rocky-and-bullwinkle-2000-des-mcanuff/ on]] ''Film/RockyAndBullwinkle''

-->--Chris Sims and David Uzumeri [[http://comicsalliance.com/catwoman-movie-review/ on]] ''{{Film/Catwoman}}''

-->--'''Johann Walter''', ''Lost Files of Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Serrated Scalpel'' [[http://www.adventuregamers.com/articles/view/17925 review]] on Adventuregamers

->Let me give you some advice: Never play a movie-based game, you know why? Okay, okay. They '''fuck''' you with the movie games, okay? They fuck you, they fuck you, they know you're gonna buy the game and by the time you play the game and realize you got fucked, it's too late! They don't care! And after they get done fucking you, they fuck you some more! Who got fucked? The ones who bought the game! The ones who rented it were the lucky ones! They fuck you with the graphics, fuck you with the the music, fuck you with the gameplay, they fuck you, they fuck you, they fuck you!
-->--'''TheAngreyVideoGameNerd'''

'''Anderton:''' I've got an override card upstairs in the Ready Room.\\
'''Spoony:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAT!!]]''''' ''Fuck'' you! I can't even--! The objective of the level--!! The alarm goes off so ''the guy locks down the briefing room so you can escape out the front door''-- which is locked! And the key...is in '''''[[CutsceneIncompetence the briefing room]]''''', KISS my ass! So now you have to run all the way back up there, and now ''every cop and his brother's'' in your way! Well good thing Barry bought you all that extra time then, you jackhat!

'''Spoony:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAT!!]]''''' ''Fuck'' you! I can't even--! The objective of the level--!! The alarm goes off so ''the guy locks down the briefing room so you can escape out the front door''-- which is locked! And the key...is in '''''[[CutsceneIncompetence the briefing room]]''''', KISS my ass! So now you have to run all the way back up there, and now ''every cop and his brother's'' in your way! Well good thing Barry bought you all that extra time, you jackhat!

'''Spoony:''' '''''[[BigWhat WHAT!!]]''''' ''Fuck'' you! I can't even--! The objective of the level--!! The alarm goes off so ''the guy locks down the briefing room so you can escape out the front door''-- which is locked! And the key...is in '''''[[CutsceneIncompetence the briefing room!]]''''' KISS my ass!

->'''Spoony:''' Back at the ranch--you guessed it--the Precogs finger Anderton to commit the next murder...Just like O.J., when you're wanted for murder, "Everybody Runs". So that's what I do; beat up a few guys along the way and run for the front door, but door's locked.\\

->'''Spoony:''' Just like O.J., when you're wanted for murder, "Everybody Runs". So that's what I do; beat up a few guys along the way and run for the front door, but door's locked.\\

->You know, I should have been more careful when I bought this game. I forgot the cardinal rule of movie tie-in games. It's that they always, '''''always''''', suck. Especially when it's made twenty years after the fact.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''', on ''VideoGame/TheThing''.

->What's he [[HeartsAreHealth catching hearts]] for? I suppose it's like in the movie where Lorraine has a crush on Marty. Why isn't he ''avoiding'' the hearts then? Oh, I see. I guess he's catching them in a book or something. It's the most [[LiteralMinded literal interpretation]] of a movie. "It's about time, so let's have ''clocks!'' It's about romance, let's have ''hearts!''" Was this game designed by a human being? ...After that, it's the Enchantment Under The Sea dance where Marty plays guitar. What do you do?\\\

I'll tell you one thing, it's certainly no ''VideoGame/GuitarHero'' or ''VideoGame/RockBand''! ...Wouldn't this have been an opportune time to hear "Earth Angel" or "Johnny B. Goode?"\\\
({{double take}})\\\
OK, wait a minute. It ''is'' Johnny B. Goode. On '''[[SensoryAbuse crack!]]'''

->I understand that [[TheNineties back then]], if it had a '''face''', they made a frickin' game out of it, but really? ''Series/HomeImprovement:'' '''''THE GAME'''''? I mean, for shit's sake, have some restraint! That's about as good an idea as making a FirstPersonShooter out of ''Series/SisterSister''.

->I understand that [[TheNineties back then]], if it had a '''face''', they made a frickin' game out of it, but really? ''Series/HomeImprovement: THE GAME''? I mean, for shit's sake, have some restraint! That's about as good an idea as making a FirstPersonShooter out of ''Series/SisterSister''.