History Quotes / TheNostalgiaChick

-->'''Chick''', ''{{Cinderella}} III'', ''Top Five Least Awful Disney Sequels''

->''"We get to watch Andy Dick ''die''. Mmm, I like that, yeah. Watch that again. Oh yeah, that feels nice, I don't know, like getting a back massage. Again? Yeah, I remember really digging this!"''

->''[After the "AmbiguouslyGay Duo" music pops up]. "Yeah, I realize some of [[TheNostalgiaCritic us]] are a little bit hyper-focused on that aspect of the series. But you know, some of us are a little more sensitive and progressive than that. [[TemptingFate Besides how gay could it be]]?"

--> -- ''{{Labyrinth}}''

->'''Dr. Tease''': "Ahh, God's domain. I have a timeshare there."

->'''Dr. Tease''': "You're denying your inner fangirl!"
->'''Chick''': "No, I'm not! I grew out of that a long time ago, it was Nella's job to be the mindless fangirl and now she's dead and now this show will have to survive on hardcore analysis and puppies!"
--> -- ''XMen''

->"So while Nella and I were at Disney, her childlike wonder unshakable and my nonchalance unsubtle as ever..."

->'''Nella''': "You know what? I'm j-just gonna not dance. I-I'm gonna curl up into a ball and cry."

->'''Nella''': [while Chick ignores her] "Hey Lindsay, I just got my fortune! It says, um, you were born under a star that should have made your life a pathway of roses but it has not been so because you trusted in others that are not real friends but seek to only use you for selfish ends. The time is coming for you to make your mark in life, later in life you will acquire some more property! I may have a little hardship in managing my property... I'm gonna go get another fortune."
--> -- ''Dreamworks vs. Disney''

->"Leeloo looks up war and she loses the will to live because she's a woman."

->'''Chickbot''': "The only thing that fuels me is my sadness."

->'''Chickbot''': "Why was I programmed against suicide?"

->'''Dr. Tease''': "So I heard you were in need of a sidekick, and this review has gotten really boring and analytical, so I figured I'd come help."

->"I only like X-Men in an intellectual, analytical, culturally relevant way- [Dr. Tease jabs her with TruthSerum] OH MY GOD THIS WAS THE BEST SHOW EVER, YOU GUYS!"

->"OH HUG ME BEAST! YOU'RE SO BLUE! I LOVE BLUE THINGS!"

->"Nella is gone and now I don't have anyone to sit here and make me look good and smart by comparison."

->"I'm not racist, I have a black friend."
--> -- '''Chick''' in her ''TLC'' retrospective, before the screen goes to Nella.

->"I, like most of the world, am an American. And what's more American than sanitizing your own history to the point where it's no longer recognizable? [[BaitAndSwitch PUPPIES!!!]]"

->"And here's a thing nobody ever wanted to think about again. The ''eighties'' and your ''teenage years''..."

->"[[RunningGag YAAAY]]!"

->"[[HypocriticalHumor And besides, who's going to be interested in a female character who's pretty much a shameless knock-off of her already popular male counterpart?]]"

->[After the "AmbiguouslyGay Duo" music pops up]. "Yeah, I realize some of [[TheNostalgiaCritic us]] are a little bit hyper-focused on that aspect of the series. But you know, some of us are a little more sensitive and progressive than that. [[TemptingFate Besides how gay could it be]]?"

->"You know what? Fuck it. '''We're off to the pride parade!'''"

->"No, excuse me, I still need a year or so to recover from my '''massive trauma''' of seeing a cat die again."

->"It's always nice when the dead can come back to allay your regrets." *sadface*

->"Why don't they [virgins] lose it when they come out of the womb? ...bleeding and screaming."

->"Not that there's pictures of me dressed as Mystique one year for Halloween in college floating around the internet or anything." *scream* [a picture's shown]

->"Not that there's pictures of me dressed as Maleficent one year for Halloween in college floating around the internet or anything." *scream* [a picture's shown]

->"Again, I think they're trying to be funny. I'm not sure, they ''are'' British."
--> -- '''Chick''', ''SpiceWorld''.

->"I'll miss you, New York."

->"Santa Baby, I need a hundred and sixty grand. Grad school's kinda expensive. Santa Baby, I actually think fat guys are kinda hot."

->"If you grew up in the South like I did, then you probably know this song, and you also know that southerners find nothing more ''hilarious'' than alcoholism, especially paired with domestic abuse."

->[southern accent] "Y'mean there's life outside the Walmart?"

->'''Elisa''': "Stop filming me!"
--> -- ''The Top 11 Disturbing Christmas Songs''.

->"Hi, I'm Lindsay, star of such internet ''phenomena'' as the Nostalgia Chick."

->"When have I even displayed even the slightest of attractions to the Critic? He's all [mumbling] beardy and ew."

->"Oh My God! You and I haven't watched the MLP movie in like three days!"

->"Oh God, not again."

->"I'm so ashamed of my body!"

->"I have no self-respect!"

->"My Daddy didn't love me!"

->"I'd have to get up... and go dance... which I don't really want to do... at least by myself."

->"Dance, monkey!"

->"NELLA!!"

->"Why are you obstructing your robot with a shitty fog machine? It's a robot! Let us see the robot!"

->"Let me posit this idea: aliens... awesome, robots... also awesome, cars... pretty awesome, if a little planet-destroying. Put them together and what do you get? [[{{Transformers}} Hell yeah!]]

->"I don't think I have enough irony in me."

->[giggling and stroking the Critic] "You're not gonna take this one away from me."

->"Uh, Nella, do you think there are two ostensibly straight doing this exact same thing as this exact same moment?"

->[after waking up from getting her head exploded] "God, where am I? Happy pills... [takes a few and gets perky again] Hi! I'm your Nostalgia Chick!"

->"Reviewing dude stuff is fun! You know what? I like it! I like it a lot! I like it so much I'm gonna go frolic in a meadow."

->"Why do I keep being rendered unconscious by my many male nemeses?"

->"I hate the world."

--> -- ''{{Bratz}}''.

->"And she has a nightmare which less pertains to aliens as it does to hairy guys, which is totally understandable, let's face it."

->"How does going with the hotter guy with the amazing orgasm touch, can pick up any talent instantly, bows to your beck and call and can take you to other planets... okay point taken, I'm going to see what's going on by the pool, see if anything... develops." *runs*

->"Here's the thing about dreams: they may provide escape from the real world, but they set expectations for the real world too."
--> -- '''Chick''', ''DisneyPrincesses''.

->"This movie is [[DeadBabyComedy worse than seven holocausts]]! This is worse than [[TakeThat Nixon rubbing his taint all over the camera for ninety minutes]]!"

->"So if you do decide to watch a Disney sequel, just make sure it's not to a movie you actually like, unless of course [trails off] you enjoy the feel of hands belonging to a clammy uncle groping you in places you'd rather not be touched right now."

->"It seems like every girl goes through a dragon phase, or at least I know I did, partly fueled by this movie. I was eleven, and he was just so honorable, and he was voiced by Sean Connery!"

->"I'm your Nostalgia Chick and I am a DistaffCounterpart. Eh, it pays the bills."

->"Women are just doomed. Innocent and childlike yet curious and destructive. I don't know how we stand us."

->"Like in ''{{Avatar}}'', I think we can all relate to the white guy who fucks everything up and wants to make amends."

->"We all still have that notebook of Leo pictures under our bed."

->"I probably sold my ponies for tweezers and lipstick and stuff."

->'''Nella''': "You put a camera... in my room... at my parents house..."

->'''Nella''': "Now look, during the summer and winter break, I am perfectly fine with being your beleaguered bitch. However, during your semesters, I am a FREE. AUTONOMOUS. NELLA."

->"And then the mom sings an entire song about how disappointed she is in her daughters for being inadequate. ...not that I know how that feels or anything."

->"This might explain why I keep dating alcoholics."

->"I knew it! I knew this is what women did when they were alone! ...wait, I ''am'' female."

->'''Nella''': "I learned I like nice tits."

->"At the time, I hate those bitches. And I called Britney Titney because I thought I was clever and was wildly jealous of her fame and success and wealth."

->"As you may know, I like to spy on my BFF Nella because she entertains me. I do this by installing cameras in her bedroom, and what I found may not shock you, but she sometimes likes to pretend she's a princess."

->'''Nella''': "Oh great, another [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] camera."

->"I remember how crappy my life was back when I had hot friends. See, I'm not the prettiest person, or the thinnest, or the tallest."

->'''Nella''': "You know... you could just come back east for a bit, recharge your self-confidence batteries, it's no problem. I mean, you know where I live, you put enough cameras in there... in my parents house... you know what, let's not go there."

->"And to everyone who wants to bitch about it not being accurate to Greek Mythology, I kindly request you go stuff a ballgag in your mouth and sit in the corner."

->'''Nella''': "You've just been eating cheetos and drinking beer, haven't you? What else have you been doing the last ''four months''?"

--> -- ''TheManInTheIronMask''

--> -- ''{{Hercules}}''