History Quotes / PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy

24th Apr '16 2:01:51 AM aye_amber
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->'''Michael:''' These delusionals are your White Rastas. They're big [[BobMarley Marley]] fans, think they're black, semi-political, but mostly--

to:

->'''Michael:''' These delusionals are your White Rastas. They're big [[BobMarley [[Music/BobMarley Marley]] fans, think they're black, semi-political, but mostly--
29th Dec '15 12:21:48 AM DarthKieduss
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->I'd like to give a shout out to my girl Snooki over there...Oh, that ain't Snooki? I'm sorry. All white people who act black look alike to me.

to:

->I'd like to give ->I gotta say a shout out to few more things about my girl Snooki over there...there. Oh, that ain't ain’t Snooki? I'm Oh, my bad. I’m sorry. All white people who act black look alike to me.
29th Dec '15 12:18:44 AM DarthKieduss
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->I'd like to give a shout out to my girl Snooki over there...Oh, that ain't Snooki? I'm sorry. All white people who act black look alike to me.
-->--'''Snoop Dogg''' about Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, during the Roast of Donald Trump
30th Aug '15 3:34:55 PM StrangeBro
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'''Michael:''' These delusionals are your White Rastas. They're big [[BobMarley Marley]] fans, think they're black, semi-political, but mostly--
'''Cameron:''' [[TheStoner Smoke a lot of weed?]]
'''Michael:''' Exactly.

to:

'''Michael:''' ->'''Michael:''' These delusionals are your White Rastas. They're big [[BobMarley Marley]] fans, think they're black, semi-political, but mostly--
'''Cameron:''' ->'''Cameron:''' [[TheStoner Smoke a lot of weed?]]
'''Michael:''' ->'''Michael:''' Exactly.
30th Aug '15 3:34:04 PM StrangeBro
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'''Michael:''' These delusionals are your White Rastas. They're big [[BobMarley Marley]] fans, think they're black, semi-political, but mostly--
'''Cameron:''' [[TheStoner Smoke a lot of weed?]]
'''Michael:''' Exactly.
-->-- ''Film/TenThingsIHateAboutYou''
5th Aug '15 8:59:57 PM johnnyfog
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->The Wrestling/HulkHogan leaked sex tape is gross in several ways, but at least it has taught me that “carny” wrestling talk is an amazingly advanced code language. I mean, who would ever guess that ''“blizz-ack gizz-uys“' is carny for “black guys.” Not even Alan Turing himself could figure that out.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/07/30/night-crumbs-396/ Michael K.]]'''
27th Jul '15 10:29:22 AM johnnyfog
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->Black is a state of mind, and we Greeks are the blacks of Europe, together with the Irish.
-->--'''Yanis Varoufakis''', [[OpenMouthInsertFoot ex]]-Finance Minster to Greece
25th Jun '15 4:09:26 AM Morgenthaler
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-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', reviewing ''MalibusMostWanted'' for The Wave Magazine article "Raceploitation."

to:

-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', reviewing ''MalibusMostWanted'' ''Film/MalibusMostWanted'' for The Wave Magazine article "Raceploitation."
9th Jun '15 8:35:41 PM johnnyfog
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->'''Spoony:''' Big bad mean Watcher looks ready to snipe Duncan from an office building, but [[HandicappedBadass our favorite gimp]] Joe Dawson comes to save the day!\\
'''Pat:''' Joe's [[GangstaStyle going gangsta]] on him! Pop a gat!
-->--[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]] and PatTheNESPunk watch ''{{Franchise/Highlander}}: Endgame''

->'''David:''' There’s a horny couple in a car — a female vampire played by Traci Lords and Lem from ''Series/TheShield''.\\
'''Chris:''' I’ve never seen The Shield, so I don’t know if it’s just this dude or not, but he does an amazing job as the clueless douchebag. I mean, he’s already at an advantage by being a skinny white dude trying to dress like Creator/SamuelLJackson, but that horrible laugh he has and the fact that he’s referring to his ding-dang as “[[ICallHimMisterHappy my heatseeker]]”… it’s a perfect storm of wanting to punch this guy in the face.
-->--Chris Sims and David Uzumeri [[http://comicsalliance.com/blade-movie-review-comicsalliance/ on]] ''{{Film/Blade}}''

->[[Wrestling/TheMiz Miz]] had a well made video package featuring the {{Music/Nas}} song "Hate Me Now" which told the story of his wrestling career. [[Wrestling/JohnCena Cena]] then had a black choir sing part of his entrance song.. because he's black? Nobody knew for sure, but they were booed by the Georgia Dome regardless.
-->--'''''Taimapedia''''' on Wrestlemania XXVII



->Because Billy Ray Cyrus got sick of Music/MileyCyrus getting all the attention by terrorizing the retinas of the masses, he shot a shit puddle of a video for the sequel to Achy Breaky Heart with help from Dionne Warwick’s rapping son Buck 22... Who, besides Billy Ray and his accountant, asked for a sequel to Achy Breaky Heart?\\\
Why did Dionne Warwick let this happen?\\\
How am I still typing even though all of my bodily functions have pretty much shut down and turned on me for watching all 3:33 minutes of [[SuckinessIsPainful this musical torture device]]?
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/02/11/death-to-all-your-senses-billy-ray-cyrus-hip-hop-sequel-to-achy-breaky-heart/ Michael K.]]'''

->The sad thing is, I wouldn't call the comparison very fair. Unlike Music/VanillaIce, Snow actually ''did'' come from the projects; he ''did'' have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a [[MilesGloriosus complete liar]], so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice [[RuinedFOREVER ruined being white.]]

to:

->Because Billy Ray Cyrus got sick of Music/MileyCyrus getting ->Truly, this makes the freestyle scene in ''Series/TeenWitch'' look like {{Music/NWA}} in their incendiary prime, and like all painful raps during that ten-year period when people 'did' them on TV shows with all the attention by terrorizing the retinas commitment of the masses, he shot a shit puddle Duke of Edinburgh banging on a video tribal drum for the sequel to Achy Breaky Heart African dignitaries, it begins with help from Dionne Warwick’s rapping son Buck 22... Who, besides Billy Ray and his accountant, asked for a sequel to Achy Breaky Heart?\\\
Why did Dionne Warwick let this happen?\\\
How am I still typing even though all of my bodily functions
the announcement that they have pretty much shut down something to say, which is usually their own name and turned on me for watching all 3:33 minutes of [[SuckinessIsPainful this musical torture device]]?
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/02/11/death-to-all-your-senses-billy-ray-cyrus-hip-hop-sequel-to-achy-breaky-heart/ Michael K.]]'''

->The sad thing is, I wouldn't call
the comparison very fair. Unlike word rap.
-->--'''Stuart Millard''' on ''Series/SavedByTheBell'' ("Cream For a Day"), ''So Excited, So Scared''

->Unlike
Music/VanillaIce, Snow actually ''did'' come from the projects; he ''did'' have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a [[MilesGloriosus complete liar]], so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice [[RuinedFOREVER ruined being white.]]
3rd Jun '15 3:40:53 AM johnnyfog
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->The comparison between Snow and Music/VanillaIce is pretty unavoidable. They were both white boys making black music, they had stage names that emphasized their whiteness... The sad thing is, I wouldn't call the comparison very fair. Unlike Vanilla Ice, Snow actually ''did'' come from the projects; he ''did'' have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a complete liar, so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice [[RuinedFOREVER ruined being white.]] God, he sucks. Just...the worst man in history.

to:

->The comparison between Snow and Music/VanillaIce is pretty unavoidable. They were both white boys making black music, they had stage names that emphasized their whiteness... The sad thing is, I wouldn't call the comparison very fair. Unlike Vanilla Ice, Music/VanillaIce, Snow actually ''did'' come from the projects; he ''did'' have that rough gangsta background; he did a couple stints in jail. And it didn't give him a shred of street cred, because Vanilla Ice claimed to have all those things, and he was a [[MilesGloriosus complete liar, liar]], so everyone assumed Snow was lying, too. It's really amazing just how much Vanilla Ice [[RuinedFOREVER ruined being white.]] God, he sucks. Just...the worst man in history.]]



->Last night, in the big finish of a performance at the annual [[UsefulNotes/GrammyAward Straight White People Give Each Other Awards for Doing Black Music About Gay Rights Better Than You]] Convention, {{Music/Madonna}} shuffled weirdly out on stage with [[PimpDuds a bejeweled cane]] like a Country Western Barbie Yaga...It meant fucking nothing. If anything, it moved in reverse. It was the dinner-table obtuseness of your worst uncle. It shit on intellectual curiosity. It stank of [[TotallyRadical not getting it.]]\\\
It made you realize: Oh. [[BrokenPedestal Madonna is finite.]]

to:

->Last night, in the big finish of a performance at the annual [[UsefulNotes/GrammyAward Straight White People Give Each Other Awards for Doing Black Music About Gay Rights Better Than You]] Convention, {{Music/Madonna}} shuffled weirdly out on stage with [[PimpDuds a bejeweled cane]] like a Country Western Barbie Yaga...It meant fucking nothing. If anything, it moved in reverse. It was the dinner-table obtuseness of your worst uncle. It shit on intellectual curiosity. It stank of [[TotallyRadical not getting it.]]\\\
It made you realize: Oh. [[BrokenPedestal Madonna is finite.
]]



->Either [[StevenSeagal Seagal]] is the biggest fraud on the planet or he genuinely happens to transcend race and transforms into new ethnicities over time, kind of like a fucked up [[Series/DoctorWho Dr Who]]. Shockingly, it’s actually not the latter. In the past Seagal has enjoyed pretending to be Italian and Japanese respectively, but his current adopted cultural persona is that of the black man... In the majority of Seagal’s direct to DVD era filmography, Seagal has portrayed this insane ‘black man’ version of himself, most hilariously of all in the abominable ''Today You Die'', an [[{{Narm}} unintentional comedy classic]] where Seagal mumbles out ‘thug talk’ with all the street credibility of BillOReilly. Seagal even ensured that one of the black characters remarked that he '[[InformedAbility walks like a black man and breathes like a killer.]]' Absolute madness.

to:

->Either [[StevenSeagal Seagal]] is the biggest fraud on the planet or he genuinely happens to transcend race and transforms into new ethnicities over time, kind of like a fucked up [[Series/DoctorWho Dr Who]]. Shockingly, it’s actually not the latter. In the past Seagal has enjoyed pretending to be Italian and Japanese respectively, but his current adopted cultural persona is that of the black man... In ->In the majority of Seagal’s [[Creator/StevenSeagal Seagal’s]] direct to DVD era filmography, Seagal has portrayed this insane ‘black man’ version of himself, most hilariously of all in the abominable ''Today You Die'', an [[{{Narm}} unintentional comedy classic]] where Seagal mumbles out ‘thug talk’ with all the street credibility of BillOReilly. Seagal even ensured that one of the black characters remarked that he '[[InformedAbility walks like a black man and breathes like a killer.]]' Absolute madness.


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