History Quotes / MajorInjuryUnderreaction

-->--'' Colin Mochrie, ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway''

->[[EvilSorcerer Haralit]] glanced a the gaping hole burned in his chest where his heart had been. "Ah." He didn't fall.

-->-- '''[[WebAnimation/Supermarioglitchy4sSuperMario64Bloopers SMG4]]''', "[[Recap/SMG4MarioGoesToTheFridgeToGetAGlassOfMilk Mario Goes to the Fridge to Get a Glass Of Milk]]"

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}''

-->--- '''Creator/{{Iteachvader}}''', ''[[WebAnimation/YouTubePoop Robotnik Arrives Two Minutes Late]]''

-->-- '''Jamie Hyenman''', ''Series/{{Mythbusters}}''

-->-- '''Meg Masters''', ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'', "Salvation"

-->-- '''Shizuo Heiwajima''', ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}''

-->-- ''LightNovel/{{Durarara}}''

Can't spit or blow my nose or even read ''Magazine/SportsIllustrated''\\\

-->--''Series/TheBrittasEmpire''

-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf''

-->-- ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemTellius Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance]]''

-->-- '''The Postal Dude''', ''[[VideoGame/{{Postal}} POSTAL 2]]'', randomly said upon taking damage.

->Well, at first I thought I'd slipped and fell in the rain, then I noticed the blood gushing from my stomach and leg, so I thought "Oh, I guess I was shot."

->Man, I panicked too much. All I lost was my left arm.

->My Quinque... is gone? No... [[AnArmAndALeg my right hand is what's gone]].

->Worry not! It's only a mortal wound!

'''Cassandra Cain:''' [[AbusiveParents My... dad and I]] [[TrainingFromHell played something like that.]]

->Aaah, that's the ticket. Okay, anyone got a stapler?

->Can ye sew?

->Oh, look at that. I've been impaled.

->I'm... I'm shot.

->Interesting. I've been stabbed, and I've been hanged, and I've been burned. Even broken on the rack once, but I've never been shot before. (''wiggles finger around inside fresh bullet wound'') Kind of itches a little!

->What're you gonna do now, wizard?! ''(Gandalf pokes him in the eye and slashes his belly)'' [[{{Beat}} ...]]that'll do it.

->Sir, I think I got nicked.

->Well, son of a starfish.

->I stop chewing on the guy [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone long enough to gag]], and when I turn back, [[PullingThemselvesTogether he's busy shoving his guts back in]]. He gives me [[DeathGlare the hairy eyeball]], and asks me to help him find his pancreas. It was [[OurVampiresAreDifferent Earl]].

->[''bursts into flames''] Damn it, that stings. [''burns away to nothingness'']

->Ouch. Okay, that's really hot. Yeah, you could get a serious burn from that... In fact, I think I just did.

->You shot me! I can't believe you just shot me!

->He's surprisingly calm for a guy whose skeleton is exposed.

->Getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad.

->Tell me, why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?\\

No no no

->"Just pulled a piece of glass out of the bottom of my bleeding foot. I'm ready for my [[GarbageWrestler deathmatch]] career."
-->''Hunter Law'''

->[[NightOfTheLivingMooks The dead make good soldiers.]] They can't disobey orders, they never surrender, and they don't stop fighting when a random body part falls off.

->''(loses one arm)''\\
Arrrrr! No great loss, I've still got another...\\
''(loses another arm)''\\
Arrrrr! But I don't need arms to beat you!\\
''(loses head)''\\
Arrrrr! Perhaps we should sit down and talk about this...

->Now I got this... tiny Injun boy, eyeballing me. Had to take his leg off. Damn thing's just... lying here between us. I sure wish he'd cry or something.

->I don't care! I like being on fire!

->i think im about to pass out from bloodloss so im gonna chill out for a little while X:)

->Shit! [[OhNoNotAgain Not again!]]

->I think mine's cracked too... [[GroinAttack critical hit to the nads]].
-->-- '''Yosuke Hanamura''', ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}''

->Zombies tend to not give up easily. Kind of their whole thing, really. "Whatever, screw you, I didn't need that leg anyway."

->I appear to have burst into flames.

->Well...I seem to be seriously wounded.

->Oh no...this waistcoat is ruined.

->I leave you alone for two minutes! What the hell happened!?

->Normally that is excruciating. Luckily all my body's pain receptors are busy in my mouth right now.

->Oof. Excuse me, while I push my entrails back in.

->The first three "symptoms you should not ignore" were rectal bleeding, loss of height, and sudden blindness! ''Who ignores sudden blindness?'' Who sits in the office at lunchtime going "Oh, who turned out the lights? Oh, no, I can't see a thing, it's awful, I'm no use to anyone today. I'll answer phones, that's all I can do, that's all I'll be good for today. Oh, don't make a fuss, don't make a fuss, don't make a fuss."

->[[TechnicolorToxin Well.]] [[BloodFromTheMouth That's unfortunate.]]

->[[OffWithHisHead Oh my. This is embarrassing.]]

->When Count Dooku, my apprentice, had both of [[AnArmAndALeg his hands cut off]] [[Film/RevengeOfTheSith by Anakin Skywalker]], he didn't make a sound, not a peep. That guy was like concrete, man. It was very impressive.

->OW! Oh, I hate it when [[LosingYourHead that]] happens...

->This is boiling water, isn't it?

->Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.

->'''Lord Uxbridge:''' My God, sir, I've lost my leg.\\
'''UsefulNotes/TheDukeOfWellington:''' My God, sir, so you have.
-->-- ''Film/{{Waterloo}}''

->'''Harry Paget, Earl of Uxbridge''': ''[calmly]'' By God, sir... I've lost my leg!
->'''Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington''': By God, sir, so you have.
-->-- ''Film/{{Waterloo}}''[[note]][[TruthInTelevision According to accounts of the battle]], this was Paget's genuine and [[StiffUpperLip very English]] reaction to having his leg blown off by a cannonball. Also, not shown, his noted reaction to getting the leg amputated in a field hospital after the battle: [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "The knives appear quite blunt."]][[/note]]

(''they fight. Arthur lops the knight's other arm off, but the knight just starts kicking him instead'')\\