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1[[foldercontrol]]
2
3[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
4->''Well, at first I thought I'd slipped and fell in the rain, then I noticed the blood gushing from my stomach and leg, so I thought "Oh, I guess I was shot."''
5-->-- '''Shizuo Heiwajima''', ''Literature/{{Durarara}}''
6
7->'''Shizuo:''' Yo.\
8'''Shinra:''' Oh my God! What happened to you?\
9'''Shizuo:''' Eh, you know. Got shot.\
10'''Shinra:''' Your leg and abdominal muscles have taken considerable damage. ''How are you even walking around like this?!''\
11'''Shizuo:''' Why? ...'Cause I can.
12-->-- ''Literature/{{Durarara}}''
13
14->''Man, I panicked too much. All I lost was my left arm.''
15-->-- '''Shirou''', ''VisualNovel/FateStayNight''
16
17->''My Quinque... is gone? No... [[AnArmAndALeg my right hand is what's gone]].''
18-->-- '''Kureo Mado''', ''Manga/TokyoGhoul''
19
20->''Worry not! It's only a mortal wound!''
21-->-- '''King Gilgamesh''', ''Anime/FateGrandOrderAbsoluteDemonicFrontBabylonia''
22[[/folder]]
23
24[[folder:Comic Books]]
25->'''[[Comicbook/Robin1993 Tim Drake:]]''' How can you take a bullet and not bat an eye?\
26'''Cassandra Cain:''' You know that... kid game, "Two for Flinching?"\
27'''Tim Drake:''' Yeah. Oh, no. Don't tell me.\
28'''Cassandra Cain:''' [[AbusiveParents My... dad and I played something like that.]]
29-->-- ''ComicBook/Batgirl2000''
30
31->''Aaah, that's the ticket. Okay, anyone got a stapler?''
32-->--'''Wormwood,''' fresh from getting his head blasted off with a shotgun, ''ComicBook/WormwoodGentlemanCorpse''
33
34->''Can ye sew?''
35-->--'''Cassidy's''' reaction to having his ''head cut off'', ''{{ComicBook/Preacher}}''
36[[/folder]]
37
38[[folder:Fan Works]]
39->'''Misato:''' And how are you?\
40'''Asuka:''' Hurts. They bandaged it. I may lose a toe. Whatever.
41-->-- ''Fanfic/AdviceAndTrust''
42
43->Tuva gave up a little shriek and first tumbled backwards, then leapt forwards and buried her hatchet in Wiglek's head, down to his balefire-filled eye socket. She stumbled backwards.\
44Wiglek sort of rolled his balefire eye-replacement upwards and looked at the hatchet with mild curiosity. \
45"So," he said, "correct me if I'm mistaken here, but it seems like you want to kill me?"
46-->--''Fanfic/UnderTheNorthernLights'', Chapter Forty-Eight
47[[/folder]]
48
49[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
50->''Oh, look at that. I've been impaled.''
51-->-- '''[[{{Snowlems}} Olaf]]''', ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013''
52
53->'''Fiona''': There's an arrow in your butt!\
54'''Shrek''': Oh, would you look at that?
55-->-- ''WesternAnimation/Shrek1''
56
57->'''Rival dog''': Sheesh, Igor, I think [Chief] chewed your ear off!
58->'''Igor''': ''(grunts nonchalantly)''
59-->-- ''WesternAnimation/IsleOfDogs''
60[[/folder]]
61
62[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
63->''I'm... I'm shot.''
64-->-- '''[[spoiler:Quellek]]''', ''Film/GalaxyQuest''
65
66->'''Axe:''' Did they really shoot me in the fucking head?\
67'''Marcus:''' Yeah, buddy.
68-->-- ''Film/LoneSurvivor''
69
70->'''Black Knight:''' 'Tis but a scratch.\
71'''King Arthur:''' A ''scratch?!'' Your arm's off!\
72'''Black Knight:''' [[ImplausibleDeniability No, it isn't.]]\
73'''King Arthur:''' (''points to the arm on the ground'') Well, what's that then?!\
74'''Black Knight:''' ...I've had worse.\
75'''King Arthur:''' You ''liar!''\
76'''Black Knight:''' ''Come on, you pansy!''\
77(''They fight. Arthur lops the knight's other arm off, but the knight just starts kicking him instead'')\
78'''King Arthur:''' You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!\
79'''Black Knight:''' Oooh, had enough, eh?\
80'''King Arthur:''' Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!\
81'''Black Knight:''' Yes, I have!\
82'''King Arthur:''' ''LOOK!''\
83'''Black Knight:''' [[OnlyAFleshWound Just a flesh wound.]]\
84(''The Black Knight keeps kicking Arthur, who lops his leg off'')\
85'''Black Knight:''' Right, I'll do you for that!\
86'''King Arthur:''' You'll WHAT?!\
87'''Black Knight:''' Come here!\
88'''King Arthur:''' What are you gonna do, bleed on me?!\
89'''Black Knight:''' ''I'm invincible!''\
90'''King Arthur:''' ...You're a loony.\
91'''Black Knight:''' ''The Black Knight always triumphs!'' Have at you! Come on, then!\
92(''Arthur, annoyed, lops his final leg off'')\
93'''Black Knight:''' (''{{Beat}}'') ...All right, we'll call it a draw.\
94'''King Arthur:''' Come, [[{{Sidekick}} Patsy]].\
95(''Arthur rides off'')\
96'''Black Knight:''' Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? ''You yellow bastard!'' Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!
97-->-- ''Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail''
98
99->''Interesting. I've been stabbed, and I've been hanged, and I've been burned. Even broken on the rack once, but I've never been shot before. (''wiggles finger around inside fresh bullet wound'') Kind of itches a little!''
100-->-- '''Maximilian''', ''Film/VampireInBrooklyn''
101
102->'''Harry Paget, Earl of Uxbridge''': ''[calmly]'' By God, sir... I've lost my leg!
103->'''[[UsefulNotes/TheDukeOfWellington Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington]]''': By God, sir, so you have.
104-->-- ''Film/{{Waterloo}}''[[note]][[TruthInTelevision According to accounts of the battle]], this was Paget's genuine and [[StiffUpperLip very English]] reaction to having his leg blown off by a cannonball. Also, not shown, his noted reaction to getting the leg amputated in a field hospital after the battle: [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "The knives appear quite blunt."]][[/note]]
105
106->'''Pepper:''' What's wrong?\
107'''Tony:''' Oh nothing, I'm just going into cardiac arrest 'cause you ''yanked'' [the magnet] out like a ''trout''...
108-->-- ''Film/IronMan1''
109
110->''What're you gonna do now, wizard?! ''(Gandalf pokes him in the eye and slashes his belly)'' [[{{Beat}} ...]]that'll do it.''
111-->-- '''The Goblin King''', ''Film/TheHobbit''
112
113->'''Captain Miller:''' Sarge! Mike, are you alright?!\
114'''Sergeant Horvath:''' I'm fine... I just got the wind knocked out of me, that's all...[[note]]Horvath had been shot several times in the abdomen and leg, and had just taken a direct hit in the back when this question was asked. SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome a few minutes later when he dies of blood loss.[[/note]]
115-->-- ''Film/SavingPrivateRyan''
116
117->'''Girl''': No, please don't! He's only eating me!\
118'''Francesco Dellamorte''': Move aside.\
119'''Girl''': Mind your business! I shall be eaten by whoever I please!
120-->--''Film/CemeteryMan''
121
122->''"Yeah, I was a little bitter about the getting killed by my best friend thing, but I've had time to get over it."''
123-->--'''Mick''', ''Film/IdleHands''
124
125->'''Jeebs''': You insensitive prick! Do you have any idea how much that stings?\
126'''Agent K''': Show us the merchandise, or you going to lose another head, Jeebs!
127-->--''Film/MenInBlack''
128[[/folder]]
129
130[[folder:Literature]]
131->'''Ramirez:''' Bloody hell. Harry. There's a knife in my leg. When did that happen?\
132'''Harry:''' In the duel. Don't you remember?\
133'''Ramirez:''' I thought you'd stepped on me and sprained my ankle. Bloody hell. There's a knife in my guts. And they match.
134-->-- ''Literature/WhiteNight''
135
136->''Sir, I think I got nicked.''
137-->-- '''[[spoiler:Dante-G188]]''', ''Literature/HaloGhostsOfOnyx''
138
139->'''Phil''': Well, this isn't too bad. My left leg is broken, but at least I'm right-legged. That's pretty fortunate.\
140'''Employee''': Gee, I thought he'd say something more along the [[LampshadeHanging lines of "Aaaaah! My leg! My leg!"]]
141-->-- ''Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents: The Miserable Mill''
142
143->'''Chapter Master Pedro Kantor:''' For Throne's sake, Alessio, you've lost a hand!\
144'''[[MadeOfIron Captain Alessio Cortez:]]''' I didn't lose my hand. (''points to it lying on the ground'') [[ExactWords It's right there!]]
145-->-- ''[[Literature/SpaceMarineBattles Rynn's World]]''
146
147->[[TheLancer Roman]] came tumbling past, [[PunchedAcrossTheRoom bouncing across the walkway and skidding into a tree]]. So much of his skin and muscle was [[HollywoodAcid melted off]] that half his skeleton was visible. Green and yellow steam hissed around his body. He could still move, however, and wore a scowl on what remained of his face.
148-->-- ''Literature/TheZombieKnight''
149
150->...and I see Johnny, too, still standing in the doorway, as unmoved by the [[BoomHeadShot bullet's passage through his skull]] as though it had been nothing more than a disappointing argument. Dark clots of brain meat are splashed across the flag behind him. He looks from Patrick to Tobias and when he speaks I can barely hear above the ringing in my head. "What should I do?" he says.
151-->--''The Atlas of Hell,'' by Nathan Ballingrud
152
153->''Well, son of a starfish.''
154-->--'''Commander Tempest''' after being stabbed in the chest, ''Literature/WingsOfFire'': ''Assassin''
155
156->''I stop chewing on the guy [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone long enough to gag]], and when I turn back, [[PullingThemselvesTogether he's busy shoving his guts back in]]. He gives me [[DeathGlare the hairy eyeball]], and asks me to help him find his pancreas. It was [[OurVampiresAreDifferent Earl]].''
157-->--'''[[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent Duke]],''' ''Literature/GilsAllFrightDiner''
158
159->The dwarf staggered towards him, his beard slick with blood – both the black blood of Gobblins, and the red blood of its owner. [[AnnoyingArrows Several crooked Gobblin arrows poked out of his body]]. "You're still alive, boyo!" the dwarf called. As he reached Bingo, he tripped and fell to his knees.
160->"Mori - are you hurt?"
161->"Oh, it's nothing," said the dwarf. "Stings a bit," he added. Then he rolled onto his back.
162-->--''The Soddit''
163
164->"Aw crap, [[ThirdPersonPerson Slippery John]]'s spine is powderized," said a voice form somewhere around floor level, with the nonchalant tone of someone discovering a hangnail.
165->"Oh dear," I said, then felt pretty stupid about it. "Do you need any help?"
166->"Nah, that's okay. Slippery John's lungs are filling with blood, so Slippery John'll [[ResurrectiveImmortality head right on out after he dies]]. You should probably make a run for it, though, [[OurZombiesAreDifferent if you're not going to be growing a new body after this]]."
167-->--''Literature/{{Mogworld}}''
168
169->A purple flash. A white line burned across my sight.
170->[[EvilSorcerer Haralit]] glanced at the gaping hole burned in his chest where his heart had been. "Ah." He didn't fall.
171-->--''The Traitor God,'' by Cameron Johnston
172
173-> "Apran, do you have a broken leg?" Ehail asked him.\
174The emerald looked at his feet. "Well, um, I don't know, how do you tell?"\
175"A broken leg?" asked Gyre.\
176"Did anything happen that could have injured one or both of your legs?" Ehail asked.\
177"I fell off a horse," he said.\
178"That could do it," Ehail said. "You should go to a light - or a kama - and get that healed -" Gyre was running over towards the collection of adults closer to the house. "Gyre?"\
179Ryll, ashen, and Karyn, fumbling with some sort of bag, came back with Gyre, also at a run. "A ''broken leg''?" exclaimed Ryll. "How?"\
180"I fell off a horse," Apran said. "Remember?"\
181"''That was four days ago.''"
182-->--''Literature/{{Elcenia}}''
183
184->Unfortunately, he times the jump very badly. Neither Peck nor Oslo is prepared for the jump and, as Lewis hits the ground, the kart is starting a tight turn, so he crashes heavily and at speed into a sharp corner and rebounds off the wall and under the kart's back wheels.
185->Eddie hears Lewis say "Ouch!" For some reason, and inappropriately, [[BlackComedy he finds this hilarious]]. "Ouch!"? In real life, nobody actually says "Ouch!" "Ouch!" is what cartoon people say in comic books.
186-->--''Literature/{{Colony}}''
187
188->'''Rimmer:''' Are you alright?
189->'''The Cat:''' I've been better. I have [[BoomHeadShot a hole clean through the centre of my head]], but on the right side, I have somewhere to keep my pool cue if both my hands are full.
190-->--''Literature/RedDwarf: Backwards''
191
192-> His manliness also requires that he refuse to go to a doctor or a hospital unless it can be demonstrated to him that he has, in fact, been clinically dead for six months. “No sense going to the hospital, honey. I don’t seem to be in a coma.” Therefore, he must learn to ignore pain. “It doesn’t really hurt. Bleeding from six holes in the head doesn’t really hurt. Just gimme the remote, get me a beer, and get the fuck outta here.”
193-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin''', ''When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?''
194
195->[bursts into flames]'' Damn it, that stings.'' [burns away to nothingness]
196-->--'''Chester,''' ''Literature/{{Monster}}''
197
198->A shark bit it in two, [[ShapeshiftingHealsWounds which was annoying]].
199-->--''[[Creator/JoeHaldeman Camouflage]]''
200
201[[/folder]]
202
203[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
204->''Ouch. Okay, that's really hot. Yeah, you could get a serious burn from that... In fact, I think I just did. ''
205-->-- '''Jamie Hyenman''', ''Series/MythBusters''
206
207->'''ComicBook/JessicaJones:''' What happened to you? [[AnArmAndALeg What happened to your hand?]]\
208'''Stick:''' Ah, I cut it off to free myself.
209-->-- ''Series/TheDefenders2017''
210
211->'''Eddie''': Is that a bit of your ear over there?\
212'''James''': Pardon? Ha-ha! Oh, I rather think it is. Not to worry!\
213'''Eddie''': "Ear" today, gone tomorrow, what?
214-->-- ''Pride'' (2004 BBC film)
215
216->'''Lister:''' Kryten! Are you OK?\
217'''Kryten:''' I have a medium-sized fire axe buried in my spinal column. This sort of thing can really put a crimp on your day.
218-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf'', "[[Recap/RedDwarfSeasonVQuarantine Quarantine]]"
219
220->''You shot me! I can't believe you just shot me!''
221-->-- '''Meg Masters''', ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'', "[[Recap/SupernaturalS01E21Salvation Salvation]]"
222
223->''He's surprisingly calm for a guy whose skeleton is exposed.''
224-->-- '''Daniel Tosh''', ''Series/{{Tosh0}}''
225
226->'''Mr. Brittas''': Colin! You alright?
227->'''Colin''': Fine, thank you Mr. Brittas. I've just been shot through the head, that's all. Well as they say, a mere flesh wound. I'll be back to work on Monday, can't let the side down when we're understaffed, eh?
228-->--''Series/TheBrittasEmpire'', "[[Recap/TheBrittasEmpireS7E2ReviewingTheSituation Reviewing the Situation]]"
229
230->''As he cut my artery, I felt something was wrong.''
231-->--'''Colin Mochrie''', ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway''
232
233[[/folder]]
234
235[[folder:Music]]
236->''Getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad.''
237-->--'''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "Jurassic Park"
238
239->''Tell me, why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?\
240This really is a major inconvenience, oh man, I really hate it\
241Such a drag, now ... Can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore\
242I can't belch or yodel anymore\
243Can't spit or blow my nose or even read ''Magazine/SportsIllustrated''\
244Oh no, why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated? (yeah, yeah)\
245I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated\
246What a bummer\
247Can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze\
248But my neck is enjoyin' a pleasant breeze now\
249Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated\
250No no no''
251-->-- '''Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', "A Complicated Song"
252[[/folder]]
253
254[[folder:Professional Wrestling]]
255->''"Just pulled a piece of glass out of the bottom of my bleeding foot. I'm ready for my [[GarbageWrestler deathmatch]] career."''
256-->--'''Hunter Law'''
257[[/folder]]
258
259[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
260->''[[NightOfTheLivingMooks The dead make good soldiers.]] They can't disobey orders, they never surrender, and they don't stop fighting when a random body part falls off.''
261-->-- '''Nevinyrral'''[='s=] ''Necromancer's Handbook'', ''TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering'', [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=393885 "Drudge Skeletons"]]
262
263->Kynus whipped his chainsword around once more, firing a bolt pistol shell on instinct. It detonated almost immediately, underlighting a [[LeanAndMean withered fiend]] with [[TorsoWithAView a ragged hole blasted right through its ribcage]].
264->"Ouch," said the [[MadScientist Haemonculus]], running a finger around the wound’s edge and bringing it to his greyish lips.
265->Then the darkness fell, and [[ColdBloodedTorture Kynus’ punishment began]].
266-->--''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000: Haemonculus Covens''
267
268->''I haven't lost an arm, brother. It's over there.''
269-->--'''Captain Alessio Cortez''' of the Crimson Fists, ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000''
270[[/folder]]
271
272[[folder:Video Games]]
273->(loses one arm)\
274''Arrrrr! No great loss, I've still got another...''\
275(loses another arm)\
276''Arrrrr! But I don't need arms to beat you!''\
277(loses head)\
278''Arrrrr! Perhaps we should sit down and talk about this...''
279-->-- '''Old King Coal''', ''VideoGame/BanjoTooie''
280
281->''Now I got this... tiny Injun boy, eyeballing me. Had to take his leg off. Damn thing's just... lying here between us. I sure wish he'd cry or something.''
282-->-- '''Preston E. Downs''', ''VideoGame/BioshockInfinite''
283
284->''I don't care! I like being on fire!''
285-->-- '''Headbanger''', ''VideoGame/BrutalLegend''
286
287->'''Kieran:''' Hey, Rhys! Nice day, isn't it.\
288'''Rhys:''' Oh, hello, Kier... (''notices the axe lodged in his skull'') Yaaaa! What happened to you?!\
289'''Kieran:''' Huh? What is it?\
290'''Rhys:''' Th-there's blood gushing down the side of your head!\
291'''Kieran:''' Hm? Why, so there is... Isn't that odd?\
292'''Rhys:''' "Odd?" Please, hold still! Just stay there! Let me get my heal staff.\
293'''Kieran:''' Heal staff? Bah! I'm fine. A scratch like this will heal itself! You should have seen the time I fought the Giant Scorpions of...
294-->-- ''VideoGame/FireEmblemPathOfRadiance''
295
296->'''[[TheHero Joey]]:''' i'll be there as quick as i can, so, apply pressure to the wounds and try not to move too much.\
297'''[[OurTrollsAreDifferent Xefros]]:''' its ok\
298'''Xefros:''' the weight of [[BuriedAlive the rubble crushing my body]] is pressing down on my wounds AND preventing me [[DistressedDude from moving at all]] [[{{Emoticon}} X:D]]\
299'''Joey:''' man, [[AccidentalMisnaming Xerox]].\
300'''Joey:''' buddy.\
301'''Joey:''' [[LampshadeHanging we've really gotta work on your concept of what's "okay!"]]
302-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Hiveswap}}''
303
304->''i think im about to pass out from bloodloss so im gonna chill out for a little while X:)''
305-->-- '''Xefros Tritoh''' ([[ConditionedToAcceptHorror again]]), ''Hiveswap''
306
307->''Shit! [[OhNoNotAgain Not again!]]''
308-->-- '''Raiden''', after losing an arm and eye to Sam, ''VideoGame/MetalGearRisingRevengeance''
309
310->''I think mine's cracked too... [[GroinAttack critical hit to the nads]].''
311-->-- '''Yosuke Hanamura''', ''VideoGame/Persona4''
312
313->''Zombies tend to not give up easily. Kind of their whole thing, really. "Whatever, screw you, I didn't need that leg anyway."''
314-->-- '''[[Franchise/ResidentEvil Jill Valentine]]''', ''VideoGame/ProjectXZone2''
315
316->'''Marine:''' Hannibal! I need a medic!\
317'''Medic:''' Who are you? I'm not able to get a reading on your medchip.\
318'''Marine:''' Corporal Thomas Alvarez. My medchip is damaged.\
319'''Medic:''' But your medchip's implanted in your heart!\
320'''Marine:''' I know... I'm looking at it right now.
321-->-- ''VideoGame/QuakeIV''
322
323->''I appear to have burst into flames.''
324-->-- '''The Spy''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''
325
326->'''Monster Kid''': Undyne... You're... [[TakingTheBullet You're hurt...]]\
327'''Undyne''': Hurt? It's nothing. Next time, listen when I tell you to leave, okay?\
328'''Monster Kid''': Undyne... I...\
329'''Undyne''': I'll take care of this! Get out of here!\
330(''Monster Kid flees'')\
331'''Undyne''': Heh... "It's nothing"... No... s-somehow, with just one hit... I'm already... Already... D... damn it...
332-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}''
333
334->''Well...I seem to be seriously wounded.''
335-->-- '''Black Mesa scientist''', ''VideoGame/HalfLife1''
336
337->''Oh no...this waistcoat is ruined.''
338-->-- '''Wildcard [=McVee=]''', ''VideoGame/TheTownWithNoName'', after being shot in the heart
339
340->''I leave you alone for two minutes! What the hell happened!?''
341-->-- '''Nico''' to '''Nero''', ''VideoGame/DevilMayCry5'', after the latter gets his arm ripped off.
342
343->''Normally that is excruciating. Luckily all my body's pain receptors are busy in my mouth right now.''
344-->-- '''The Soldier''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'', ''[[http://www.teamfortress.com/tf05_old_wounds/ Old Wounds]]''
345
346->''Oof. Excuse me, while I push my entrails back in.''
347-->-- '''The Postal Dude''', ''VideoGame/Postal2'', randomly said upon taking damage.
348[[/folder]]
349
350[[folder:Visual Novels]]
351->''You know what? I'll say it. This sucks! I don't like having a broken back!''
352-->-- '''The Voice Of The Opportunist''', ''VisualNovel/SlayThePrincess''
353[[/folder]]
354
355[[folder:Webcomics]]
356->'''Thief:''' Doesn't it worry you to be, you know, [[ManOnfire aflame?]]\
357'''Red Mage:''' Are you kidding? This is great. This is like if [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons Burning Hands]] was a ''seventh'' level spell. Maybe sixth... And anyway, it's auto-hit to boot! I could hug you for 3D4 [damage] per turn, Thief. Per turn. No, I'd be an ''idiot'' to give ''this'' up, thanks.\
358'''Thief:''' [[SarcasmMode Of course. What was I thinking?]]\
359(''Red Mage dies, but is [[AutoRevive resurrected by a spell he cast]]'')\
360'''Thief:''' That doesn't hurt at all?\
361'''Red Mage:''' Hm?\
362'''Thief:''' The spell that brings you back.\
363'''Red Mage:''' Oh, it's quite excruciating. At least it isn't as bad as the burning.
364-->-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''
365
366->'''Gordon Frohman:''' Sandy! Sandy! There you are! Quick, pull this pipe out of my midsection! It got stuck there when I accidentally shot myself in the hip and then fell off a ledge!\
367'''Sandy:''' And... the ornate axe in your head?\
368'''Frohman:''' Oh, leave that in. It takes my mind off my broken leg.\
369'''Sandy:''' I'm ditching you, idiot, [[LethallyStupid before you get me killed.]]\
370'''Frohman:''' At least I ''think'' it's broken. Or did it always bend this way?
371-->-- ''Webcomic/{{Concerned}}: The Half-Life and Death of Gordon Frohman''
372
373->''"[[InternalMonologue Welp, my nose is definitely broken. That's what you get for grandstanding, Max.]] [[PunchPunchPunchUhOh Play it cool, he doesn't need to know. Just think of a totally boss thing to say.]]"''
374-->-- '''Maxima''', ''Webcomic/GrrlPower''
375
376->[[AC:''"Huh. Odd."'']]
377-->-- '''Her''', after being [[EyeScream stabbed through the eye]], ''Webcomic/SleeplessDomain''
378[[/folder]]
379
380[[folder:Web Original]]
381->''The first three "symptoms you should not ignore" were rectal bleeding, loss of height, and sudden blindness! ''Who ignores sudden blindness?'' Who sits in the office at lunchtime going "Oh, who turned out the lights? Oh, no, I can't see a thing, it's awful, I'm no use to anyone today. I'll answer phones, that's all I can do, that's all I'll be good for today. Oh, don't make a fuss, don't make a fuss, don't make a fuss."''
382-->-- '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMvMb90hem8#t=285s Dara Ó Briain]]'''
383
384->''[[TechnicolorToxin Well.]] [[BloodFromTheMouth That's unfortunate.]]''
385-->-- '''Qrow Branwen''', ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''
386
387->''[[OffWithHisHead Oh my. This is embarrassing.]]''
388-->-- '''Penny Polendina''', ''WebAnimation/RWBYChibi''
389
390->''"[[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice Oh.]]"''
391-->-- '''[[spoiler:Adam Taurus]]''', ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''
392
393->''When Count Dooku, my apprentice, had both of [[AnArmAndALeg his hands cut off]] [[Film/RevengeOfTheSith by Anakin Skywalker]], he didn't make a sound, not a peep. That guy was like concrete, man. It was very impressive.''
394-->--'''[[Characters/StarWarsEmperorPalpatine Emperor Palpatine]]''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYLT29ZxExA&list=PLD99B6A13717D35C9&index=1 Ask Palpatine]]''
395
396-> '''Robotnik''': The planet is boiling your feet!!
397-> '''Captain Rescue''': It is? ''[looks down]'' ...Oh my.
398-->--- '''Creator/{{Iteachvader}}''', ''[[YouTubePoop Robotnik Arrives Two Minutes Late]]''
399
400->[on the phone] ''"Giorno, the boss--'' [gets a hole punched in his chest] ''On second thought, I'll catch you later.'' [gets a cut across his torso] ''I'm a little tied up in something."'' [hangs up the phone] ''"Alright, adrenaline, let's see how long you can keep me going!"''
401-->-- '''Bruno Buciaratti''', ''Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureGoldenWind'' ''WebAnimation/ButReallyReallyFast''
402
403->'''Shroomy:''' Uh guys, you dropped something. You might want to pick it u-\
404''[The milk carton [[MadeOfExplodium explodes]]]''\
405'''Shroomy:''' [Now on fire] Oh, ok, don't worry about it.
406-->-- ''[[WebAnimation/Supermarioglitchy4sSuperMario64Bloopers SMG4]]'', "[[Recap/SMG4MarioGoesToTheFridgeToGetAGlassOfMilk Mario Goes to the Fridge to Get a Glass Of Milk]]"
407
408->''Well, I was GOING to add 20 more [[VideoGame/TheSims lots]], but then Nelson set himself on fire. The difference between Florida Man and Nelson is Nelson doesn't really seem like he '''gives a [[SoundEffectBleep sh**]]'''. He just wants to burn to death!''
409-->-- '''WebVideo/GrayStillPlays'', "[[https://youtu.be/bDPKeBxpUsI forcing 100 people to live in total isolation]]"
410[[/folder]]
411
412
413[[folder:Western Animation]]
414->(''[[SeeYouInHell as promised,]] Sparks and Captain Murphy meet in {{Hell}}'')\
415'''Sparks:''' So, how's the [[LavaPit lava bath]] treatin' you?\
416'''Capt. Murphy:''' Oh, you know. Mind-blowing pain.\
417'''Sparks:''' Ohhh yeah.\
418'''Capt. Murphy:''' How's 'bout you?\
419'''Sparks:''' Oh, [[AssShove ass full of red-hot coals.]]\
420'''Capt. Murphy:''' Ass full of red-hot coals.\
421'''Sparks:''' Ohhh yeah.\
422'''Capt. Murphy:''' Your, ah, ''entire'' ass? Just packed full of red-hot coals?\
423'''Sparks:''' Right to the rim, baby.\
424'''Capt. Murphy:''' (''sigh'') [[TooKinkyToTorture You lucky bastard.]]
425-->-- ''WesternAnimation/Sealab2021''
426
427->''Nice job, Chris. You got my shirt wet.''
428-->--'''Peter''', after [[BodyHorror getting the skin of his face ripped off]] by a fire hose, ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''
429
430->''Whoopsie-daisy!''
431-->-- '''Pearl''', after being stabbed through the abdomen with a sword, ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse''
432
433->''OW! Oh, I hate it when [[LosingYourHead that]] happens...''
434-->-- '''Eda the Owl Lady''', ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse''
435
436->''This is boiling water, isn't it?''
437-->-- '''Duke''', ''WesternAnimation/BackAtTheBarnyard''
438[[/folder]]
439
440[[folder:Real Life]]
441->''Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.''
442-->-- '''President UsefulNotes/TheodoreRoosevelt'''
443[[/folder]]
444

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