History Quotes / LiteralMinded

->''[The film's title, "''Film/CryWilderness''", appears on screen]''\\
'''Crow:''' Well, if you insist.\\
'''Jonah, Crow and Tom:''' ''WILDERNESS!''
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', "[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S11E02CryWilderness Cry Wilderness]]"

->''[The film's title, "''Film/CryWilderness''", appears on screen]''\\
'''Crow:''' Well, if you insist.\\
'''Jonah, Crow and Tom:''' ''WILDERNESS!''
-->-- ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', "[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S11E02CryWilderness Cry Wilderness]]"

'''Austin Powers:''' That's something you don't know.

->'''Varla:''' Jasper's taken that great stair lift in the sky.\\

->''(as Spaceball troopers are raking the desert with giant combs)''

-->-- ''Manga/InuYasha''

-->-- '''Manga/InuYasha'''

->'''Emperor:''' [[AC:You could fortify me from all the stupid shit that's happening in the galaxy and threatens to spill into my throne room.]]\\
'''Rogal Dorn:''' Fecal matter does not have mental capacity. You do not require fortifications against it.
-->-- ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''

->Between Data the [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms walking thesaurus]] and Spock being confused by the deeper meaning of nursery rhymes, I’m starting to think that humans went out into the galaxy mainly to grin smugly at all the alien stiffs they could meet who don’t get their jokes.
-->-- ''Website/TheAgonyBooth'', ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier''

->'''Chris''': Ezekiel, what's up, man?\\
'''Ezekiel''': I think I see a bird.
-->-- ''[[WesternAnimation/TotalDrama Total Drama Island]]'', "[[Recap/TotalDramaNotSoHappyCampersPartOne Not So Happy Campers - Part 1]]"

->'''Jack Cloth:''' I haven't laughed since my wife died.\\
'''Anne Oldman:''' Why did you laugh when your wife died?
-->-- ''Series/ATouchOfCloth''

->Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold,\\
Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf on the fold?\\
In heaven and earth more than is dreamed of in our philosophy there are great many things.\\
But I don't imagine that among them there is a wolf with purple and gold cohorts or purple and gold anythings.\\
No, no, Lord Byron, before I'll believe that this Assyrian was actually like a wolf I must have some kind of proof;\\
Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red mouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof Woof?\\
Frankly I think it is very unlikely, and all you were entitled to say, at the very most,\\
Was that the Assyrian cohorts came down like a lot of Assyrian cohorts about to destroy the Hebrew host.
-->-- '''Creator/OgdenNash''', "Very Like A Whale"

->In your otherwise beautiful poem, one verse reads,
--> Every moment dies a man,\\
Every moment one is born.
->If this were true, the population of the world would be at a standstill. In truth, the rate of birth is slightly in excess of that of death. I would suggest [that the next edition of your poem should read]:
--> Every moment dies a man, \\
Every moment 1 1/16 is born.
->Strictly speaking, the actual figure is so long I cannot get it into a line, but I believe the figure 1 1/16 will be sufficiently accurate for poetry.
-->-- '''Charles Babbage''', in a letter to Creator/AlfredLordTennyson

->''Please, I'm a scientist; I don't think, I observe.''
-->-- '''Dr. Clayton Forrester''', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''

->'''Blinky:''' [[WeAreAsMayflies For creatures with such a short lifespan]], I would think [birthdays] would be cherished.\\
'''Toby:''' Not for Jim. They always remind him of the day when [[DisappearedDad his dad disappeared]].\\
'''Blinky:''' Interesting. I did not know Jim's father was a magician.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Trollhunters}}'', "Bittersweet Sixteen"

->''"As I've explained repeatedly to Dr. Koothrappali, whose ability to comprehend the American idiom fails him when it's convenient..."''
-->-- '''Sheldon Cooper''', ''Series/TheBigBangTheory''

->''"This guy's becoming a major pain in my ass-"\\
"I detect no damage in the gluteal area."''
-->-- '''Darius Mason and S.A.M''', ''VideoGame/RedFactionArmageddon''

->''That night, when I got home, I received a call from Mimi Dejour. She said she wanted to meet me at the club right away. Since I had no idea where the Club Right Away was, I suggested the Club Flamingo. She agreed.''

->'''Customer''': Give me a Good Shake.\\
'''Ed''': All right! ''*grabs the customer and shakes him*''

->'''Customer''': Look, I ordered one Good Burger with nothing on it!\\
'''Ed''': That's what I gave you!\\
'''Customer''': No, you gave me a bun! ''Just a bun!'' Look, there's no meat in here!\\
'''Ed''': [[ExactWords But you said you wanted nothing on it!]]\\
'''Customer''': Yes, but I expected a ''meat patty!''\\
'''Ed''': Dude, a meat patty is ''something''! You said ''nothing''! Fizz, is a meat patty something or nothing?\\
'''Fizz''': ...uh...something?\\
'''Ed''': I win!\\
'''Customer''': Alright, that rips it! I am reporting your name to the manager!\\
'''Ed''': The manager already knows my name.\\
'''Customer''': (''scoffs'') I'll see you in Hell!\\
'''Ed''': Okay, see you there!

->'''O'Malley''': Attack!!!!!\\
'''Robots''': Chaaaaaarge! ''(Begin walking very slowly)''\\
'''O'Malley''': You there, hurry along! And you in the back, hu-...Lopez! Can't you speed them up?\\
'''Lopez''': ''(In Spanish)'' This is their maximum velocity.\\
'''O'Malley''': This isn't what I asked for.\\
'''Lopez''': ''(In Spanish)'' [[ExactWords You said you wanted a "day" of victory]]. At this speed, they will win in exactly 24 hours.\\
'''O'Malley''': ''(Sigh)''\\
''({{Beat}})''\\
'''Robots''': Chaaaaaarge!
-->-- ''WebAnimation/RedVsBlue''

->''At the farmers' market with my so-called "girlfriend"\\
She hands me her cell phone, says it's my dad.\\
Man, this ain't my dad! This is a CELL PHONE!''
-->-- '''Music/TheLonelyIsland''', "Threw It on the Ground"

->'''Squidward:''' S-S-S-[=SpongeBob=], w-w-w-what have you done!?\\
'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' I did exactly as you said, Squidward. I dismantled the establishment.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'' after destroying the Krusty Krab in "Squid on Strike"

->"A drive-in? So you drive into the theater? How is that safe?"
-->-- '''Kon Kujira''', ''WesternAnimation/GrojBand''

->'''EDI''': I had hoped to discuss how to provoke Jeff into an emotional commitment.\\
'''Shepard''': That's not how to think about it. It's got to be natural. You need chemistry.\\
'''EDI''': I see. There are a number of pharmaceuticals I could inject to stimulate the desired emotional response.
-->-- ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''

-> ''Okay, you know, I have been accused in the past of being somewhat literal-minded. I maintain that [[Music/LadyGaga "Telephone"]] isn't about anything but a telephone, I think "Milkshake" was about a woman who makes really good milkshakes. ''
-->-- '''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''', [[Music/KatyPerry "E.T."]]

->'''Timon:''' (''Watching Simba slump away'') Gee. He looks blue.\\
'''Pumbaa:''' I'd say brownish-gold.\\
'''Timon:''' No, no, no, no. I mean he's depressed.\\
'''Pumbaa:''' Oh.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994''

->'''Hiro Hamada:''' GAH! Baymax! You gave me a heart attack!\\
'''Baymax:''' My hands are equipped with defibrillators. Clear!\\
'''Hiro Hamada''': STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! It's just an expression!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BigHero6''

->'''Idura:''' I'll retreat for now. However, I'll have a special gift ready for you next time.\\
'''Dekar:''' Wait!\\
'''Idura:''' What?\\
'''Dekar:''' I could use a new coat. Unless you had another gift in mind.
-->-- ''VideoGame/LufiaCurseOfTheSinistrals''

->[Music/QueenLatifah fumbles in a clip of ''Film/LastHoliday'']\\
'''Peter''': Oh no she di-n't!\\
'''Joe''': Oh yes she did!\\
'''Peter''': She di-n't!\\
'''Joe''': Yes she did!\\
'''Peter''': Oh no she di--\\
'''Joe''': '''[[SuddenlyShouting YES SHE DID, PETER, I JUST SAW IT.]]'''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy''

->'''Tim''': My mum used to use "going next door" as a euphemism for being dead.
->'''Mike''': What? ''Does that mean my rabbit's dead?''
->'''Tim''': It's been 18 years Mike, where did you think he was?
->'''Mike''': [crying] Next door.
-->-- ''Series/{{Spaced}}''

->''[The title, ''Film/CryWilderness'' appears on screen]''\\
'''Crow:''' Well, if you insist.\\
'''Jonah, Crow and Tom:''' ''WILDERNESS!''
-->-- ''Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S11E02CryWilderness''

->''"Hey, Myoga. Kagome said she has butterflies in her stomach. Why would she eat butterflies? How will they come out? She is a fool."''
-->-- '''Manga/InuYasha'''

-->-- ''Videogame/DetroitBecomeHuman''

->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' What's on your mind?
->'''Wakko:''' My hat?
->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' No, no, no. Your hat is on your HEAD. What is on your MIND?
->'''Wakko:''' My... skin?
->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' No, that's on your HEAD. What's on your MIND?
->'''Wakko:''' Oh, I got it! My HAIR!
->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' Your hair is on your head! ''(tears out some of his hair)'' THIS IS HAIR! THIS IS HAIR! IT IS NOT ON MY MIND, IT IS ON MY '''HEAD'''!
->'''Wakko:''' No, it's in your hand.
->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' ''(starts shaking with rage, but then manages to calm himself down)'' Let's try something different, okay?
->'''Wakko:''' Okay.
->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' Why don't you tell me what you're thinking?
->'''Wakko:''' ''(touching his shirt)'' My shirt.
->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' No. That's what you're touching. What are you ''feeling''?
->'''Wakko:''' ''(pointing at his nose)'' My nose?
->'''Dr. Scratchensniff:''' THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE '''TOUCHING'''! WHAT ARE YOU '''''FEELING?!'''''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}''

->''I misunderstood the point of this ride.''
-->--'''[[WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse Pearl]]''' on a teacup ride, holding a teapot

->'''Steven:''' ''(laughing)'' Oh man Peridot, you're killing me!\\
'''Peridot:''' ''I am not!'' That would violate our truce agreement!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse''

->'''Donna:''' You're not tellin' me the TARDIS is gone.\\
'''The Doctor:''' Okay.\\
'''Donna:''' Well, where is it then?\\
'''The Doctor:''' You... told me not to tell you.\\
'''Donna:''' Oi, [[TranslatorMicrobes don't get clever in Latin!]]
-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "The Fires of Pompeii"

->''A rose by any other name would be called something else.''
-->-- ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale'' end-of-episode proverb

-> '''Sean''': (moans) I think I left my stomach on Venus.
-> '''Celery''': Ooh! Should we go back for it?
--> -- ''WesternAnimation/ReadyJetGo''

-> '''Absent''' (''upon being asked by Koffie why he is awake so early''): Because these dimensions' times flow at different rates, meaning my biological clock is at your mercy. Also, I'm used to functioning on little, if any sleep - college life is taxing.
-> '''[[CoolBoat Koffie]]''': ''I'm sorry that it costs so much.'' [[note]] No, that wasn't a StealthPun. [[/note]]
-> '''Absent''': (''[[FacePalm facepalms]]'')
-> '''Koffie''' (''horrified''): ''Oh, I'm sorry; are my telepathic powers too strong?''
-> '''Absent''' (''in annoyance''): Tax''ing'', not tax''es''. God, do you even know what figures of speech are?
-> '''Koffie''': ''How can a speech have a figure? Speech is just a bunch of words. You can't give a speech a figure. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Anyways, what were you saying about taxes?]]''
-->-- The opening conversation between '''[[DeadpanSnarker the Absent Coder]]''' and the ''S.S. Tex-Kofschip'', ''Fanfic/{{SOSchip}},'' Chapter 10, "You Should Have Gone For the Head" [[note]] In the next lines, Absent has to flat-out explain to Koffie what the word "taxing" means. [[/note]]

->'''Sapphire:''' Let him go, sister. [...] There are plenty of fish in the sea.\\
'''Coral:''' I can't ''fuck'' a fish.\\
'''Sapphire:''' It's an expression!
-->-- ''Fanfic/WhiteSheepRWBY''

->'''[[ArtificialIntelligence STEM]]:''' I advise that you remove any traces of your presence here. That also means cleaning up the vomit in the sink.
->'''Grey:''' [[BleedEmAndWeep Okay, just give- just give me a second, okay?]]
->'''STEM:''' ...One second has passed.
-->-- ''Film/{{Upgrade}}''

->'''[[ComicBook/TwoFace Harvey Dent]]:''' Say hi, Bruce!\\
'''[[Franchise/{{Batman}} Bruce Wayne]]:''' Hi, Bruce.\\
'''Harvey Dent:''' Well, I tee 'em up and he knocks 'em down.
-->-- ''VideoGame/BatmanTheTelltaleSeries''

->'''Fafa:''' ''Roastbusters!'' We have a two-hour special on Comedy Central and [[TheRoast roast]] Creator/DanAykroyd.\\
''(cut to Mario and Johnny T. cooking a person on a spit; Fafa walks over to them)''\\
'''Fafa:''' What are you guys ''doing?!''\\
'''Johnny T.:''' What's it look like? You told us to roast Dan Aykroyd!\\
'''Mario:''' [[BlackComedy I can't believe he agreed to do this!]]
-->--''WebVideo/GloveAndBoots'' [[https://youtu.be/prbHolmeNcQ "Ten Alternate Ghostbusters Reboots"]]

-> ''"They asked me what job I wanted, and I said I was on the fence...[[LampshadeHanging Who takes idioms literally?!]]"''

->'''Lady Allura''': Until this is resolved, you are hereby confined to your keep under house arrest.\\
'''Grog''': (''[[OhCrap distraught]]'') HOW CAN YOU ARREST A HOUSE!?
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfVoxMachina''

-> ''Oh, Little Audrey says\\
"Save for a rainy day!"\\
She saves, but every time it rains\\
She spends what she puts away''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/LittleAudrey'' theme song

-> ''"Winnie the Pooh lived in the Hundred Acre Wood under the name of Sanders. That is to say, the name was written above the door in gold letters, and he lived under it."''
-->-- '''Narrator''', ''WesternAnimation/TheManyAdventuresOfWinnieThePooh''

->'''Glossaryck:''' Imagine the universe as this big old cauldron, and magic is the bubbly stew inside, and your wand is the spoon. And now...\\
'''Star:''' My wand isn't a spoon. It's a wand.\\
'''Glossaryck:''' It's a metaphor, Star.\\
'''Star:''' [[SustainedMisunderstanding No, it's a wand.]]
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil''

->'''Jenna D'Sora''': "The cat's out of the bag."
->'''Data''': ''(looking for his cat)'' "Spot?"
-->-- ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "In Theory"

->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse Lynn Loud Sr.]]''': "Geez, kids, I just got home! At least give me some time to hang up my hat!"
->'''Leni Loud''': "You don't wear a hat, Dad."
->'''Lynn Loud Sr.''': "It's an expression."
-->-- ''Fanfic/PeekingThroughTheFourthWall'', Episode 36

->'''Chantal''': "Shouldn't we call the fire department?"
->'''Miss Clavel''': "Chantal, 'burning up' is a metaphor."
-->-- ''Film/{{Madeline}}''

->'''Helen''': "Why the long face?"
->'''Martha''': "I'm a dog. If you wanted an animal with a short face, you should've gotten a cat?"
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MarthaSpeaks''

->'''Gordon Noble''': "Thaddeus, do you remember that meeting we had a couple of days ago?"
->'''Thaddeus Euphemism''': "Mmm hmm."
->'''Gordon Noble''': "And you remember when I said, 'Let's throw some ideas at the wall and see what sticks'...?"
->'''Thaddeus Euphemism''': "Yes."
->'''Gordon Noble''': "That was a '''metaphor'''!"

->'''Vicar Max''': Ms. Holcomb has a soft heart. Always has, if you believe the talk.
->'''[[PlayerCharacter The Unplanned Variable]]''': Can Parvati get that checked by a Sawbones?
->'''Vicar Max''': I see today we'll be conversing without metaphors.
-->-- ''VideoGame/TheOuterWorlds''

->'''Cabbie:''' What's this, you tryin' to stiff me?
->'''Larry:''' Of course not, you're a dude!
->'''Cabbie:''' I mean, you tryin' to cheat me outta my fare?
->'''Larry:''' I didn't know it was gonna be ''that'' much!
-->-- ''[[VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry1InTheLandOfTheLoungeLizards Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded]]'' if Larry insufficiently pays the cab fare.

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'', "Get the Message"

->'''T-850:''' Take off your clothes.\\
'''Gay Stripper:''' Patience, honey.\\
''(the T-850 steps up to the stage, much to the cheers of the bachelorettes)''\\
'''Gay Stripper:''' Whoa, bitch. Wait your turn.\\
'''T-850:''' Your clothes.\\
'''Gay Stripper:''' ''(shows his hand to the Terminator)'' Talk to the hand!\\
''(the T-850 literally grabs and holds the stripper's hand and talks to it)''\\
'''T-850:''' Now.
-->--''Film/Terminator3RiseOfTheMachines''

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'', "Any Sport in a Storm"