History Quotes / GodisEvil

->[[BrokenPedestal Current events have challenged the very core of our beliefs and thrown all that we held sacred into doubt.]] One thing must remain clear, that we follow the teachings of Jesus Christ that provide a good and just basis for all of human conduct. But we cannot deny that these have been corrupted and misapplied, that grave mistakes have been made and that crimes of great magnitude committed. At times like these we must admit to ourselves that we have been misled and deceived by imposters and tricksters who succeeded in leading us down a false path. We can be sure that the 'God' whose misdirection has led us down this false path is not the God of whom our Lord Jesus Christ speaks. We can be sure it is those deceivers and imposters, and in particular [[CelestialParagonsandArchangels those who lead them]], that are responsible for the grievous errors that have been committed in our Church's name. We must cast out such deceivers and purify ourselves so that we can, once more, follow the teachings of Christ as they were meant to be followed.\\

->'''Chef:''' Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then it would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that He can tear it all away and make us cry, so He can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, [[LifeDrinker it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.]]

[[folder:Real Life]]

->God is a comedian playing to an audience [[LaughablyEvil too afraid to laugh.]]
-->-- '''Creator/{{Voltaire}}'''

->If there is a God, He is a malign thug.
-->--'''Creator/MarkTwain'''

->The God of the [[Literature/TheBible Old Testament]] is arguably the most unpleasant character in all of fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, [[PsychopathicManchild capriciously malevolent]] bully.
-->-- '''UsefulNotes/RichardDawkins''', ''The God Delusion''

->If God exists, I hope He has a good excuse.
-->-- '''Creator/WoodyAllen'''

->The root problem with Christianity is that their God is supposed to be all-powerful and benevolent. It sounds like an easy sell, but when [[FromBadToWorse life turns completely to shit]] you have to come up with all kinds of whacked-out reasons for why kindly old Jehovah saw fit to [[WouldHurtAChild run over little Timmy with a combine harvester]] and [[AndIMustScream leave him in a state of vegetative, limbless agony for eighteen years]].
-->-- '''[[Creator/BenCroshaw Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw]]'''

->Don't you know there ain't no Devil, that's just God when He's drunk...
-->-- '''Creator/TomWaits'''

->Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things He does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, He has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where He will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ... But ''He loves you!'' He loves you! He loves you -- [[CorruptChurch and he needs money]]!"
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeCarlin'''

->Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.
-->-- '''Edward Gibbon'''

->My response is that when Creationists talk about God creating every individual species as a separate act, they always instance hummingbirds, or orchids, sunflowers and beautiful things. But I tend to think instead of [[BodyHorror a parasitic worm that is boring through]] the [[EyeScream eye]] of a [[WouldHurtAChild boy]] sitting on the bank of a river in West Africa, [a worm] that’s going to make him blind. And [I ask them], ‘Are you telling me that the God you believe in, who you also say is an all-merciful God, who cares for each one of us individually, are you saying that God created this worm that can live in no other way than in an innocent child’s eyeball?' Because that doesn’t seem to me to coincide with a God who’s full of mercy.
-->-- '''Creator/DavidAttenborough'''

->I get people asking me all the time about religion. You see, once upon a time I was a steadfastly devoted and faithful servant of the lord. I believed with all my heart and my soul in God and Jesus his son. So they ask me, 'Nathan, what was it that caused you to turn away from God?' And I tell them: I read the Bible with my eyes open. And in doing so, it became clear that the God of the Bible is a bloodthirsty, violent, grudge-holding asshole who cares nothing for his creation and who is utterly unworthy of any worship from us, his favorite chew toys. The real reason I am an atheist is that I would rather not believe in any god than a god who was [[AxCrazy a psychotic murderer.]]
-->-- '''Nathan Douglas De Vries'''

->...not scorning the three delightful children who are everything to me and who are my only chance of even a glimpse of a second life, let alone an immortal one, and I'll tell you something—if I was told to sacrifice them to prove my devotion to God, if I was told to do what all monotheists are told to do and admire the man who said, 'Yes, I'll gut my kid to show my love of God,' I'd say, 'No,'' '''fuck you'''.
-->-- '''Creator/ChristopherHitchens'''

->"Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain?" That’s what I would say.
-->-- '''Creator/StephenFry''', after being asked what he's say he if met God when he's died

->If God exists, He'll have to beg my forgiveness.
-->-- '''Found scratched on the wall of a barrack in a Nazi concentration camp.'''

[[/folder]]

''You all must be ''crazy'' to put your faith in me!''\\

->Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things He does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, He has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ... But ''he loves you!'' He loves you! He loves you -- [[CorruptChurch and he needs money]]!"

->Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain? That’s what I would say.

Would you look at that. I imagine you get a lot of them in places of worship. God shows himself upon the ground. These are His miracles.

->Let me give you a little "inside information" about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man ''instincts''. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do? I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic ''gag reel'', He sets the rules in opposition! It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? '''''He's''''' laughin' His'' sick fuckin ass off! He's a tight-ass, He's a sadist, He's an absentee landlord!'' Worship ''that''? NEVER!

->''"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.''\\
''Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.''\\
''Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?''\\
''Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"''

Would you look at that. I imagine you get a lot of them in places of worship. God shows himself upon the ground. These are his miracles.

->I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs, a very endearing sight, I'm sure you'll agree. And even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters, who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen. Mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that is when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.

->A God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice, and invented hell -- mouths mercy, and invented hell -- mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people, and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites his poor abused slave to worship him!

->"God puts an apple tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden and says, do what you like guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting 'Gotcha.' It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it...Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end."

->'''Tyrion:''' The Lord of Light has his enemies burned. The Drowned God wants them drowned. Why are all the gods such [[JerkassGods vicious cunts?]] Where's the god of tits and wine?\\

But wasn’t God supposed to be, you know, good? Piper explains it here. Basically, the idea is that you don’t deserve an explanation, but you better [[StockholmSyndrome thank God for killing your family]], else he’ll do it again.

->...if there is a God so fickle, with such an enormous ego and a inability to compromise that he would damn someone to eternal torture and fire for loving another person just because that other person happens to be of the same sex, then that is not a god worthy of worship.

->God does not simply laugh at the "Man Walks Into A Bar" joke. No, God needs subtle irony and farcical twists that seem macabre to you and me. All that we can do is hope is that God got his laugh and this kind of tragedy can be avoided in the future.

->'''Chef:''' Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He is a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him, so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?

->'''Chef:''' Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then it would have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, [[LifeDrinker it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.]]

[[folder:Film -- Animated]]

-> Because you're old, and mean, and cruel.
-->-- '''Kubo''' to '''The Moon King''', ''WesternAnimation/KuboAndTheTwoStrings''

[[/folder]]

->You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you.

->If there is a God, he is a malign thug.

->If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

->Don't you know there ain't no Devil, that's just God when he's drunk...

->Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these 10 things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ... But ''he loves you!'' He loves you! He loves you -- [[CorruptChurch and he needs money]]!"

->If God exists, he'll have to beg my forgiveness.

-->-- Music/XTC, "Dear God"

-->-- '''[[Music/XTC]]''', "Dear God"

-->-- '''Music/XTC''', "Dear God"

-->-- '''Creator/CSLewis''', ''A Grief Observed''

->My response is that when Creationists talk about God creating every individual species as a separate act, they always instance hummingbirds, or orchids, sunflowers and beautiful things. But I tend to think instead of [[BodyHorror a parasitic worm that is boring through]] the [[EyeScream eye]] of a [[ChildrenAreInnocent boy]] sitting on the bank of a river in West Africa, [a worm] that’s going to make him blind. And [I ask them], ‘Are you telling me that the God you believe in, who you also say is an all-merciful God, who cares for each one of us individually, are you saying that God created this worm that can live in no other way than in an innocent child’s eyeball? Because that doesn’t seem to me to coincide with a God who’s full of mercy.

-->-- '''Creator/StephenFry'''

-->-- '''The riddle of Epicurus''', also known as '''The Problem of Evil''' or '''The Epicurean Trilemma'''[[note]]The phrase is first noted by a Christian writer centuries after Epicurus' death. It may have been written by an Epicurean, but that is not certain. For one reason or another, it became attributed to Epicurus/Epicureanism, probably due to the Epicureans criticism of traditional theism.[[/note]]

->"God put them here to test our faith!" I think God put you here to test ''my'' faith, dude. Does that bother anybody else? The idea that God might be fucking with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge. Some prankster God runnin' around, [pantomimes digging] "Hehehehe we'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God. I am ''killing'' me!"
-->--'''Creator/BillHicks''' on fossils, ''Revelations''

->I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs, a very endearing sight, I'm sure you'll agree. And even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters, who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen. Mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that is when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."''

->Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain? That’s what I would say.

->"God put them here to test our faith!" I think God put you here to test ''my'' faith, dude. Does that bother anybody else? the idea that God might be fucking with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge. Some prankster God runnin' around, [pantomimes digging] "Hehehehe we'll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God. I am ''killing'' me!"

-->-- '''Jesus Christ''', ''Videogame/TheLastResurrection'' [[note]]Jesus, of course, [[BoomerangBigot was Jewish himself.]][[/note]]

-->-- '''Voltaire'''

-->-- '''Tom Waits'''

-> Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain? That’s what I would say.

-> If God exists, he'll have to beg my forgiveness.

->''Vae, Gaudium Fugax!''\\\

->...if there is a god so fickle, with such an enormous ego and a inability to compromise, that he would damn someone to eternal torture and fire for loving another person just because that other person happens to be of the same sex then that is not a god worthy of worship.

-->-- '''Lord Vetinari''', ''Discworld/UnseenAcademicals''

-> Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain. That’s what I would say.

->: ...if there is a god so fickle, with such an enormous ego and a inability to compromise, that he would damn someone to eternal torture and fire for loving another person just because that other person happens to be of the same sex then that is not a god worthy of worship.

-> Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right, it’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain. That’s what I would say.

->: "...if there is a god so fickle, with such an enormous ego and a inability to compromise, that he would damn someone to eternal torture and fire for loving another person just because that other person happens to be of the same sex then that is not a god worthy of worship."
- WebVideo/FeedingTheTrolls

->... not scorning the three delightful children who are everything to me and who are my only chance of even a glimpse of a second life, let alone an immortal one, and I'll tell you something—if I was told to sacrifice them to prove my devotion to God, if I was told to do what all monotheists are told to do and admire the man who said, 'Yes, I'll gut my kid to show my love of God,' I'd say, 'No,'' '''fuck you'''.

-> "Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault. It’s not right, it’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world that is so full of injustice and pain. That’s what I would say."