History Quotes / EvilisPetty

-->-- '''Lryptonian criminal Jax-Ur''', ''ComicBook/TheLeperFromKrypton''

-->-- '''Dread Empress Sanguinia II, best known for outlawing cats and being taller than her''', Literature/APracticalGuideToEvil

[[folder:Blog]]

-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''' [[https://joshreads.com/2020/11/chimeric-nightmares/ on]] ''ComicStrip/TheLockhorns''

->'''[[Characters/BatmanTheJoker Joker]]:''' I needed everyone to truly believe you were ''dead''. So I wished for an ''exact replica'' of you... but ''dead''. It was really quite amazing. It just appeared. A ''dream come true''.\\
'''[[Characters/BatmanTheRiddler Riddler]]:''' B-b-but ''why''? You could have had ''anything''. We could become ''rich'' beyond our imaginations. Or ''kings''. You could have wished we were ''gods''. But instead you looked me in a freezer and tricked everyone into thinking I was dead. ''Why''?!\\

-->--''ComicBook/TheJokerPresentsAPuzzlebox''

-->-- ''ComicBook/TheUltimates''

->''"ComicBook/{{Superman}}! We're contacting you mentally through the Phantom Zone viewer! We could tell you who has replaced you...But squirm, baby! Squirm!"''
-->-- '''Lryptonian criminal Jax-Ur''', ''ComicBook/TheLeperFromKrypton''

->''Why go to the baker, stand in line / Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. / I'm havin' a bad, bad day / It's about time that I get my way...''
-->"Despicable Me" song, ''WesternAnimation/DespicableMe1''

->'''Elastigirl''': But it doesn't bother you that an innocent man's in jail?\\
'''Screenslaver''': Eh, he was surly. And the pizza was cold.

->''([[ComicBook/JimmyOlsen Jimmy]] walks past with a coffee cup, [[ComicBook/LexLuthor Luthor]] swipes it)''\\
'''Jimmy:''' ''Hey!'' That's for the chief!\\
'''Lex:''' Chief's got it. ''(drinks)''
-->-- ''Film/SupermanII''

->''"And what did he find, this conqueror of the Germans, this victor of the mighty Neptune? The streets empty of crowds and flowers, no triumphs rewarded, no games, no celebrations--but three miserable, old, ex-counsels waiting at the gates to meet him, and a room full of cowardly, stay-at-home senators who have spent all their time in the theatre and in the baths, while he has spent six months, living no better than a private soldier!? Yes! Your emperor has returned! BUT WITH THIS IN HIS HAND!"'' (produces a frighteningly large battle sword from his robe)
-->-- '''Caligula''', ''Series/IClaudius''

->'''Amon Goeth''': Shoot her.\\
'''Foreman''': Herr Kommandant! I'm only trying to do my job!\\
'''Goeth:''' Ja, I'm doing mine.\\
'''Hujar''': Sir, she's foreman of construction.\\
'''Goeth''': [[BadBoss I'm not going to have arguments with these people]] -- no, shoot her ''here'', on my authority.\\
''(foreman is shot)''\\
'''Goeth''': Take it down, repour it, rebuild it, like she said.
-->-- ''Film/SchindlersList''

->''Evil is unspectacular and always human\\
And shares our bed and eats at our own table.''
-->-- '''Creator/WHAuden'''

-->-- ''[[Literature/TheSpaceTrilogy Perelandra]]'' (He does this all night).

->"I'll be honest, Chancellor – {{revenge}} is the motivation for over half the decrees I've made."

->"You'd delay an execution to pull the wings off a fly."
-->--'''The Doctor''' to the Master, ''Series/DoctorWho'' ([[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS14E3TheDeadlyAssassin}} "The Deadly Assassin"]])

->"What are a few lives lost when it allows you validated parking?"
-->-- '''Dr. Isiah''', ''Series/BulletInTheFace'' ("Angel of Death")

'''Jones:''' What are you saying? You ''rigged the Olympic hockey game?''\\

-->-- ''Series/TheXFiles'', "Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man"

->''"It works like this, John: I know who Mary hurt and killed. I know where to find people who hate her. I know where they live, I know their phone numbers. All in my Mind Palace – all of it. I could phone them right now and tear your whole life down -- and I will... unless you let me ''flick your face''."''
-->-- '''Charles Augustus Magnussen''', ''{{Series/Sherlock}}'' "[[Recap/SherlockS03E03HisLastVow His Last Vow]]"

->''"The last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy is me, and I'll tell you why. [[{{Satan}} Lucifer]] might be strong, but I'm... ''petty.''"''
-->-- '''Zachariah''' ([[LightIsNotGood an Angel]]), ''Series/{{Supernatural}}''

->'''Jessica''': Don't listen to Kilgrave, don't talk to him.\\
'''Jeri''': Right, because [[CompellingVoice he will mind control me]].\\
'''Jessica''': No, because he's an asshole.
-->-- ''Series/JessicaJones2015''

->'''Barry Allen''': Wh-Why did [Reverse-Flash] kill Nora Allen?
->'''Gideon''': Because he was angry.
->'''Barry Allen''': About what!?
->'''Gideon''': That you escaped.
-->-- ''Series/TheFlash2014''

->''"So, I get to get my hands on a big sparkly diamond, destroy the city of Corinth'' and ''ruin Ranger Yellow's wedding all at once? Oh I'm so totally there."''
-->-- '''Tenaya 7''', ''Series/PowerRangersRPM''

->''"Now, I'm a certain sort of evil. Not "death camp" evil, not "serial killer" evil. But I take a perverse pleasure in being paid through the nose for ''nothing of any value''. That is my dream, and I'm not gonna let it die!"''
-->-- '''The OurSloganIsTerrible Marketing Guru''', ''Series/ThatMitchellAndWebbLook''

-->--"That's Life", '''Marion Montgomery'''

-->-- '''Rico Muerte''', ''VideoGame/MaxPayne''

->''"Listen, I need you to buy some property, OK? Shouldn't cost that much: You [[ComicallySmallBribe offer them a dollar.]] If they give you a hard time, kill them."''
-->-- '''Mike Toreno''', ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas'' . (CJ gives them eighty grand and doesn't kill them).

->[[AC:All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends, because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file. "Unlikable; [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment liked by no one; a bitter, unlikable loner whose passing shall not be mourned.]]" Shall. Not. Be Mourned. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking It also says you were adopted.]] So that's funny, too.]]
-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', ''VideoGame/{{Portal}}''

-->--'''Sly Cooper''' on Clockwerk, ''VideoGame/Sly2BandOfThieves''

->We've loaned your father a lot of money. It may have been a hundred thousand dollars or more... Well, I guess it really could have been less.
-->-- '''Aloysius Minch''', ''VideoGame/EarthBound''

->"''Get up here, grab a gift, the Devil's a little busy here. I got to go rig an election with Quebec. A local election, but you know, ''I'm the Devil''!. [[InvokedTrope I've got to sweat the small stuff]].''"
-->--'''The Bombinomicon''', ''Videogame/TeamFortress2''

-->-- '''[[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]]''' extolling the virtues of ''VideoGame/AlphaProtocol''

->''"At first I thought Adam was 'justice', then I thought he was 'passion'. But over time, I realized I was wrong. He wasn't any of those things. He was 'spite'. Not 'hatred', not 'rage', 'spite'. He won't accept equality, only suffering for what he feels the world did to him, and his way of thinking is dangerously contagious."''
-->-- '''Blake Belladonna''' on Adam Taurus, ''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''

-->-- ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'', [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/12/03/ Dark Truths]]

-> '''AG:''' Do you have any idea how inconvenient this is? Do you have any sympathy for what I'm dealing with here?\\\
'''AT:''' [[VerbalTic uHH,]] \\
'''AG:''' You're so inconsider8. You just sit there looking smug. It's infuri8ing to look at you. \\
'''AG:''' You haven't even thanked me! Or apologized for that matter!!!!!!!! \\
'''AG:''' uHHHHHHHH THANKS VRISKA, fOR sAVING UHH MY LIFE, \\
'''AG:''' uMMMMM IT SURE WAS 8RAVE AND HEROIC [[VillainousCrush AND PRETTY]] OF YOU, \\
'''AG:''' aLSO uMMM dUHHH,,,, uMMM,,, i AM SORRY FROM THE 8OTTOM OF MY NOOK,,,,,,,,,, \\
'''AG:''' Seriously, how hard would that have 8een? \\
'''AT:''' oKAY, \\
'''AT:''' tHANKS, i GUESS, \\
'''AT:''' bUT, \\
'''AT:''' sORRY FOR WHAT, \\
'''AG:''' For 8eing crippled, you ass! \\
'''AT:''' yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, \\
'''AT:''' fOR BEING PARALYZED, \\
'''AG:''' [[BluntYes Yes.]] \\
'''AG:''' Say you're sorry.
-->-- A typical conversation between '''[[StalkerWithACrush Vriska]]''' and '''[[ShrinkingViolet Tavros]]''', ''{{WebComic/Homestuck}}''

->''"With the Well Manicured Man out of the picture (thank goodness I will never have to type out that name again – even something as simple as 'Bob' would have sufficed), the Smoking Man is back on top and running the show again. Only he would deem it appropriate to suck down on a cigarette in the middle of a vital surgical procedure. The man is a menace to public safety, in more ways than one."''
-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2013_07_01_archive.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/TheXFiles'', "The Beginning"

-->-- '''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2012/10/04/a-view-to-a-bond-baddie-auric-goldfinger/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''{{Film/Goldfinger}}''

'''Chris''': That might actually be his most villainous moment, because it accomplishes absolutely nothing. He just wants that dude to eat a hot dog. It's [[ForTheEvulz pure evil for evil's sake]].
-->--Chris Sims and David Uzumeri [[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-steel-1997-part-one/ on]] ''{{Film/Steel}}''

->''"[=LaCroix=] turns Nick's dog into a vampire to ''teach him a lesson?'' W-'''''why??'''''"''

When the truck passed, I went on my way, followed by the other driver who, ignoring the wet pavement, ran another red light and — unconcerned about little things like the presence of other vehicles on the road -- sped up to pull alongside me and repeatedly honked his horn to get my attention for quite a long time, until finally I gave in and looked at him so he could flip me off and be on his way.\\\

-->-- '''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' comparing a fellow motorist to [[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Khan Noonien Singh]] ([[SincerityMode yes.]])

->"He didn't stick around to kill Bob, he just broke his gun and drank all of his fluid; because in this movie, [[SerialKiller Jason]]'s a dick!"

->'''Eggman:''' [[EvilLaugh Hehuhuh]], hey everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you, I'm keeping the stocks! That's right, you ugly little girl! I hate you, and your stupid nose! I'm taking everything from you, give me your phone!
-->-- ''[[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub SnapCube]]'', [[https://youtu.be/po1qdT7mj-s?t=413 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Hero Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]

[Shadow walks away without saying a word]\\

-->-- ''[[WebVideo/RealTimeFandub SnapCube]]'', [[https://youtu.be/IMC0uZY2iH0?t=241 "Sonic Adventure 2 (Dark Story + Final Story) | Real-Time Fandub Games"]]

->''"Why is [[spoiler:[[Characters/SonicTheHedgehogInfinite Infinite]]]] the way he is? Why is he such a '''big brute'''? Why is he so powerful? Why does he have this ''[[{{Revenge}} vengeful]] mindset''? Well, it's because [[Characters/SonicTheHedgehogShadowTheHedgehog Shadow]] called [[DisproportionateRetribution him weak]]."''
-->-- [=SpeedSuperSonic=], "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylC712RfgQU&t=821s The Villains of Sonic Forces DIDN'T MATTER (ft. SpeedSuperSonic)]]"[[note]]Granted, [[spoiler:Infinite]] is also a {{Sadist}} with ForTheEvulz tendencies, though that doesn't help his case.[[/note]]

->''What the hell? They actually break stuff for her to pick up? ({{Beat}}) That's not evil; that's Tourette's syndrome. Come on, you gotta have some logic!''

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS7E22 Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in 'The Curse of the Flying Hellfish]]'"

[[folder:Web Video]]

->''"Remember when you were making out with your first girlfriend and [[JizzedInMyPants you came right as she touched your leg]]? It was me Barry. I jerked you off at [[SuperSpeed super-speed]] so it seemed like you nutted at just a woman's touch!"''
-->--'''Reverse-Flash''', ''[[https://youtu.be/FFRi2xsei_o It was me Barry! (Reverse Flash hate boner)]]''

->'''Dr. Polaris:''' *Ahem* \\
'''Franchise/TheFlash (as Luthor):"''' ...What?\\
'''Dr. Polaris:''' You gonna wash your hands?\\
'''"Lex Luthor":''' No! ... [[MostDefinitelyNotAVillain 'Cuz I'm]] ''[[CardCarryingVillain evil]]''.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueUnlimited''

->'''Klaus''': You're really gonna kill five people over $20?!\\
'''Roger''': Are you really asking that to the guy who just last week killed ''six'' people over $19?\\
'''Klaus''': ...Oh, yeah.

'''[[ClockKing Temple Fugate]]:''' He did worse. He made me late!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'' "The Clock King"

->'''Franchise/{{Batman}}:''' You've hit a new low, Joker. Only you would ruin three lives for a silly piece of tin.\\
'''ComicBook/TheJoker:''' You're dumber than you look, Bats. It's not the trophy that matters, it's the title! I am the greatest clown this dismal burg has ever seen!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'' "Make 'Em Laugh"

->''"Hmm. I suppose, [[AGodAmI given my imminent]] ''[[AGodAmI godhood]]'', these primitives should really be beneath my attention. Ah, still. No score is too small to settle, I always say."''
-->-- '''Megatron''', ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars'', "Nemesis: Part II"

->''"Lies and fibs, cheats and steals!''
->''My treacherous villainy makes me squeal!''
->''I never tip, I butt in line,''
->''I never clean the dishes and it suits me fine!''
->''I'm so pleased, I'm such a sleaze!''
->''This bad guy thing's a breeze!"''

->'''Bart Simpson:''' You coward! You're an embarrassment to the name Hellfish.
->'''Mr, Burns:''' Oh, am I? (''aims his gun at Bart'')
->'''"Grandpa" Abe Simpson:''' No! Look, take the art if you want, just don't hurt the boy.
->'''Burns:''' Hmm... I'd rather do both.
->(''kicks Bart in the crate, which falls in the sea'')
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in 'The Curse of the Flying Hellfish'"

->''"You are about to witness a truly petty act of vengeance, Perry the Platypus, brought on by my own mindless jealously!"''
-->-- '''Dr. Doofenshmirtz''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Tree to Get Ready"

->"Seems like the only thing you're really good at is dreaming up new ways to commit petty villainy."
-->-- '''Professor Venomous''' to '''Lord Boxman''', ''WesternAnimation/OKKOLetsBeHeroes'', "Boxman Crashes"

({{beat}})\\

->'''Dr. Eggman:''' I've devised a complicated plan of attack that will create chaos beyond the scope of anything Sonic could ever handle. They will write poems and sing songs of how I triumphed over that blue bumpkin.
->'''Cubot:''' So, what ''is'' this complicated plan of chaos?
->'''Dr. Eggman:''' I'm going to attack him when he leaves [[GreasySpoon Meh Burger]] and make him late for his deliveries.
->''[[LampshadeHanging (Orbot and Cubot both blankly stare at him unimpressed.)]]''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SonicBoom'', "Three Minutes or Less"