History Quotes / Eagleland

->Finally, gentlemen, many misinformed Japanese believe that America is a nation divided, isolationist, and that Americans are only interested in enjoying a life of luxury, and are spiritually and morally corrupt. But that is a great mistake. If war becomes inevitable, America would be the most formidable foe that we have ever fought. I've lived in Washington and studied at Harvard, so I know that the Americans are a proud and just people.

-->-- '''Commercial for Art/OmegaMart'''

-->-- '''Wiki/SCPFoundation'''

->'''Edgar:''' Alright, one question: How are we gonna stop a load of kids from beating the crap outta each other?\\
'''Jimmy Hopkins:''' It's America! We go in there with threats and bribes until we get what we want. If all else fails [[StartXToStopX we beat the crap out of everyone!]]\\
'''[[AbstractApotheosis Russel]]:''' Russell likes to hurt people, for peace!
-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Bully}}'' (2006)

->The continent that was supposedly discovered by Christopher Columbus is named for a decidedly [[AchievementsInIgnorance second-rate Johnny-come-lately]] of an explorer named Amerigo Vespucci. Like Columbus, Vespucci was an Italian who sailed on occasion under the flag of Spain. But unlike Columbus, Vespucci was more at home in a counting house than a sailing ship. (Even Ralph Waldo Emerson, normally a booster of all things American, dismissed him as a mere “pickle dealer.”) What Vespucci did have, according to Felipe Fernández-Armesto’s wonderfully idiosyncratic and intelligent new biography of the explorer, was a gift for chicanery and self-promotion, along with an aching need to be remembered. As it turns out, America — this nation of notorious hucksters, dreamers and spin doctors — was named for just the right guy.

->We should know by now that America's freedom needs to be celebrated with the most life-threatening devices we're able to build. To hell with a few dumbasses firecracking their fingers off. Do you think UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln would have [[CriticalResearchFailure put up with British taxes]] just to keep you with the correct number of fingers on your dumbass hand? The Franchise/{{Terminator}} killed hundreds of people, but did the future ban Terminators? No, it gave them cool sunglasses and [[{{Dissimile}} sent them on adventures through time]]. Why are we such pussies?

->We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. ''[[PlagueOfGoodFortune Allergic to food!]]'' Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a fucking lactose intolerance? [[note]] Actually, yes. People with lactose intolerance are just viewed as allergic in Europe and countries like the US, where most people have european ancestors. In some places in Africa and Asia, so many people are intolerant to lactose that it's just not viewed as odd, but as completely normal, and they just don't drink cow milk at all.[[/note]]

->”Yes, indeed. [''Literature/WhatMadnessIsThis''] is a world where everything that could go wrong in America did. [''A More Perfect Union''] is a world where the United States has been enlightened and everything that could go wrong ''didn’t''. OTL is a world where some very bad people had their way, but some very good ones did too, putting everything at an equilibrium.”

'''Jay''': [[ImmigrantPatriotism This is not the America I know]]. When I came here with my family we had nothing, and we struggled, but we [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanDream built a life here]] and we were welcome here. For years, my dad kept this little pictures of USefulNotes/RonaldReagan above our kitchen table, with these quotes from him about immigrants: "The families came here to work. They came to build. They brought with them courage, ambition, and the values of family". That is the America I know. I am an immigrant. I am the child of immigrants. We were welcome here.\\

'''Tina''': And [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror today]] you probably wouldn't be. This is America. It expands and contracts, advances and recedes, opens and closes. This is a country [[UsefulNotes/AmericanRevolutionaryWar birthed in freedom]] and [[SlaveryIsASpecialKindOfEvil built on slavery]]. Separating families? They separated Black families in America for 250 years. What makes this feel so bad, now, is that we expect more. And that's a good thing, this pain is progress. But, do not forget who we are and where we came from. I do not forget where I came from. I grew up in [[UsefulNotes/{{Baltimore}} West Baltimore]], around the corner from where [[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thurgood_Marshall Justice Marshall]] grew up... he knew my father, he stood in my living room. The elementary school I went to, Mount Royal, I went to because of him. I am here because of him. He was the grandson of a slave and he changed American law. He changed the very idea of the Constitution, he made a document that considered him three fifths of a man a document of liberation. ''This'' is the America ''I'' know! A beacon and a curse, light and darkness, hope and despair. This is America [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump right now]]. But, America never ends.

-->-- The Gettysburg Address, UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln, November 19, 1863

-->-- UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump

[[folder:Flavor 1 Quotes]]

[[folder:Flavor 2 Quotes]]

-->--''Theatre/WestSideStory''.

-> '''Bill Arnot''': When I see (The Lincoln Memorial) I see our forefathers fighting to make this country what it is.
-> '''Mays Gilliam''': When I see that I think about the guys who got to scrub Lincoln's balls for minimum wage.

-->--''WebVideo/HonestTrailers'' when describing ''VideoGame/{{FarCry 5}}''

--> Tommy Monaghan AKA ''ComicBook/{{Hitman}},'' talking to [[Comicbook/{{Superman}} Superman.]] Yes, ''Creator/GarthEnnis'' wrote this.

--> '''Series/TheNewsroom'''

--> '''{{ComicBook/Preacher}}'''

-->-- ''WebAnimation/YourFavouriteMartian'', "The Stereotype Song"

-->--'''HeX''', author of ''A More Perfect Union'', Website/AlternateHistoryDotCom

->SCP-50-AE-J is an IMI Desert Eagle, with [[WearingAFlagOnYourHead an American flag print grip]]. SCP-50-AE-J is unremarkable except for the fact that when fired, an adult bald eagle, designated SCP-50-AE-1, [[AbnormalAmmo emerges from the barrel]] and attacks anyone who displays Communist beliefs, Russian ancestry, or unpatriotic leanings. SCP-50-AE-1 differs from a normal bald eagle specimen in that it not only appears to be able to detect sociopolitical beliefs, but also can talk, usually screaming slogans such as '[[RedScare Better dead than red]]' and '[[GunboatDiplomacy Democracy is non-negotiable]]'. Investigations into the further properties of SCP-50-AE-1 have been stymied by the fact that SCP-50-AE-1 continues to attack Foundation scientists, calling them 'PINKO FUCKS'.

* Carrying cash is unwise when traveling abroad; be sure to purchase plenty of McDonald's gift certificates before you leave.\\

Well, we've got a culinary treat for ya\\

Americanized Beef... Make America Taste Great Again''

'''Graeme Garden''': Is it '[[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys burger-eating invasion monkey]]'?

->'I'm going to sell copies of my wand at an enormous markup,' Harry said, 'and [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment you can buy one like everyone else.]]' Voldemort had been defeated.\\\

->''The U.S. is the greatest, best country God has ever given man on the face of the earth.''
-->--'''Sean Hannity'''