History Quotes / DysfunctionJunction

And if they take away people for narcissism we'd lose Wrestling/ScottyRiggs, Wrestling/LexLuger, our [[Wrestling/ChrisJericho Paragon of Virtue]], Lenny Lane, and [[Wrestling/KevinNash Big Sexy]]. All we'd have left is Ralphus.''

->'''Illusive Man''': Shepard, I've gathered [[DreamTeam the perfect crew]] for you. Miranda Lawson. She [[FreudianExcuse had a troubled childhood and hates her father]]. Jacob Taylor. He also had a rough childhood and problems with his father... Samara, an Asari justicar who has problems with her daughters. Thane Krios, a Drell who was trained as an assassin since he was a child and who has problems with his son. And then there is [[BeingTorturedMakesYouEvil Jack]]...\\

-->-- [[https://old.reddit.com/r/MassEffectMemes/comments/q39f8i/shepard_is_my_daddy/ Fan comic]] about ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''

-->-- '''[[TokenHuman Sullivan]]''', ''WebVideo/SatelliteCity''

-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]]''', ''LetsPlay VideoGame/Phantasmagoria2''

-->-- '''[[TheCutie Seras]]''', ''Manga/{{Hellsing}}''

->It's strange that ''[[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Evangelion]]'' has become such a hit -- all the characters are so sick!

-> ''"Makes you wonder if anybody normal works in this place..."''

->Like the Avengers and the X-Men before them, they had shown her that super-teams, at best, are little more than dysfunctional families.
-->-- '''ComicBook/CarolDanvers''', ''Fanfic/APrizeForThreeEmpires''

->''...but she gets DISTRACTED when DAVID straight-up MURDERS HIS FATHER which I don't have to tell you is NOT AT ALL A HEALTHY COPING MECHANISM, I am starting to feel like I am the only one who PAID ATTENTION to my GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.''
-->--'''Garrett''', ''Fanfic/AnimorphsTheReckoning''

->Man…we're all fucked up. All of us, completely effed all to heck. A self-loathing depression case, a self-harming headcase, a prickly stand-offish little bitch and a self-made, self-broken, formerly psychotic functional goddess with a guilt complex that matches all the rest of our neuroses combined. Our truncated little world is a real piece of Hell, isn't it?

[[folder:Film - Live-Action]]

->What are we, a "team?" No, no, we're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're a time bomb.
-->-- '''[[ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk Bruce Banner]]''', ''Film/{{The Avengers|2012}}''

->WOW. The insecurity level with you guys is ''RIDICULOUS!!''

->'''Wedge Antilles:''' The Wraiths have a new pilot for their roster - Targon, please stand.\\

'''Targon:''' Excuse me! (''strikes a CaptainMorganPose'') [[LargeHam Elssar Targon, master of the universe, reporting for duty!]]\\
'''Wedge:''' (''FascinatingEyebrow'')\\

->There's a reason spies don't have a lot of parties. (''ducks flying cup'') Everybody's got a history with everyone else.

'''Dan Dorian:''' Ah ah ah! (''points to bubbles on his chin'') Captain Bubblebeard. [[TalkLikeAPirate SHEAHT YER SCUPPERS, ME HARDIES!]]\\
(''Dr. Cox shoves Dan's head under the bathwater'')\\
'''Cox:''' Now you're Dan again. Let's break down the kid's support structure, shall we? He's got me, an emotionally-crippled narcissist; and he's got you, an emotionally-crippled narcissist who is soaking in a tub of what must be, by now, ''mostly your own urine.''\\

-->-- ''{{Series/Scrubs}}'', "My Cake"

'''Number Five:''' You know what else is insane? I look like a thirteen-year-old boy. Klaus [[ISeeDeadPeople talks to the dead]], and [[ApeMan Luther]] thinks he's fooling everybody with [[ConspicuousTrenchcoat that overcoat]]. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.
-->-- ''Series/{{The Umbrella Academy|2019}}'', "The Day That Was"

->This administration doesn't even need an opposition party, do you know that? We do fine by ourselves.

->But both boy and girl were glad 'Cause one kid had it worse than that...

->Dear god, ''why me?!'' Why do I always seem to attract the who's who of mental illness?!

->A dummy, a psycho, a waste of space, and a pervert. Yeah, we're a merry band, all right.
-->-- '''Zero''', ''VideoGame/{{Drakengard 3}}''

->[[AC:Statement: oh, yes. my master had quite the collection of tortured individuals that seemed unable to confront their basic personality conflicts.]]

->You would hardly be the first member of our merry band to have issues.

->Diligent Salia, strong-willed Hilda, big-hearted Ersha, foul-mouthed Rosalie, and withdrawn Chris... It seems each one is struggling with her own inner demons. I'm dying to see what happens when they at last find freedom from their tormentors.

->Hey, remember Morph, the shape-shifting X-Man who was killed by Sentinels in the pilot in order to [[MauveShirt add an element of danger]] to the series, who was then resurrected as a hollow-eyed lackey of Mister Sinister who pretended to perform Cyclops and Jean's marriage, only to run away screaming in a mineshaft? ...Moira, however, isn't so sure that he's fully over his trauma, but as he reminds her by shapeshifting into the other people on the team, he has a long way to go before he's the most screwed up member of ''that'' little family.
-->-- '''Chris Sims''' on ''WesternAnimation/XMen'', [[http://comicsalliance.com/the-x-men-episode-guide-season-4-episode-3-courage/ "Courage"]]

->Owen [[GoingPostal pumps bullets into Jack]] because he's "sick of people doubting him." What the hell were the psychological evaluation team doing during the Torchwood interview process? ''This'' is the man who is entrusted with powerful alien technology?
-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/end-of-days-written-by-chris-chibnall.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'', "[[{{Recap/TorchwoodS1E13EndOfDays}} End of Days]]"

->Someone's going to have to realize that throwing wrestlers [[Wrestling/RicFlair in a psychiatric ward]] makes about as much sense as having security break up the matches. To point:\\

· Wrestling/HulkHogan- [[GloryDays Lives in the past]]\\

And if they take away people for narcissism we'd lose Wrestling/ScottyRiggs, Wrestling/LexLuger, our [[Wrestling/ChrisJericho Paragon of Virtue]], Lenny Lane, and [[Wrestling/KevinNash Big Sexy]]. All we'd have left is Ralphus.

->These people don't have "issues" so much as they have ''subscriptions.''

->'''Starlight:''' Look dudes, whatever Twilight and her stupid friendship lesson say, I know I'll probably never be a part of your clique and I'm okay with that. I mean, I'm a crazy bitch who's barely capable of casual social interaction.\\

-->-- ''WebVideo/MyLittlePonyTotallyLegitRecap'' "Every Little Thing She Does"

->Just open the DSM-IV at a random page and you're likely to find on it some disorder that Curtis has.
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]]''', ''LetsPlay VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria 2}}''

->What a fuckin' useless bunch of cunts we are.

->'''[[OnlySaneMan Fleischer]]:''' [[LampshadeHanging You're all fucked in the head!]]\\
'''[[AxCrazy Lucy]]:''' [[ComedicSociopathy The good kind!]]\\

->You realize The Avengers are a complete disaster, right? ComicBook/IronMan is completely unqualified to lead a team like this. [[ComicBook/TheMightyThor Thor]] is crazy. [[Comicbook/TheIncredibleHulk The Hulk]] is a bomb waiting to go off! ComicBook/AntMan couldn't be less interested in taking down bad guys. And [[ComicBook/TheWasp Wasp]] belongs in the party circuit, not law enforcement.
-->-- '''ComicBook/{{Hawkeye}}''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAvengersEarthsMightiestHeroes'', "Masters of Evil"

->All of the ponies in this town are ''crazy!''

'''Number Five:''' You know what else is insane? [[FountainOfYouth I look like a thirteen-year-old boy]]. Klaus [[ISeeDeadPeople talks to the dead]], and [[ApeMan Luther]] thinks he's fooling everybody with [[ConspicuousTrenchcoat that overcoat]]. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.

->This administration doesn't even need an opposition party, do you know that? [[WithFriendsLikeThese We do fine by ourselves.]]

· [[Wrestling/TonySchiavone Schiavone]] - [[NegativeContinuity Selective amnesia]] [[LargeHamAnnouncer and excessive hyperbole]]\\
· [[Wrestling/ReyMysterioJr Rey Mysterio]] - [[TheNapoleon Napoleon complex]]\\
And if they take away people for [[{{Narcissist}} narcissism]] we'd lose Wrestling/ScottyRiggs, Wrestling/LexLuger, our [[Wrestling/ChrisJericho Paragon of Virtue]], Lenny Lane, and [[Wrestling/KevinNash Big Sexy]]. All we'd have left is Ralphus.

-->-- ''[[ComicBook/XWingSeries X-Wing: Solo Command]]''

--->--'''Natsuki''', ''FanFic/DokiDokiLiteratureClubLoops''

--->'''Natsuki''', ''FanFic/DokiDokiLiteratureClubLoops''

-->-- '''Faye''', ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'', [["https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1782 Too Hot to Handle"]]

->We're Light Warriors, damnit.. I bet he ''can't'' hurt us any worse than we hurt each other every day.

->I am sick of hearing you two bitch about each other. Hell, not just you two. Everyone in Foxhound is constantly at each other's throats. I of all people can appreciate the enabling power of seething hatred, but we can't be bickering over the radio while the enemy points and laughs.

->I'd refer you to my therapist but she's already said she won't work with anyone else in my social circle.
-->-- '''Faye''', ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'', "[[https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1782 Too Hot to Handle]]"

· Konnan - Clear [[VerbalTic nervous tic]] with the catchphrases\\

· [[Wrestling/HulkHogan Hulk Hogan]] - [[GloryDays Lives in the past]]\\

· Schiavone - [[NegativeContinuity Selective amnesia]] [[LargeHamAnnouncer and excessive hyperbole]]\\
· Wrestling/ReyMysterio - [[TheNapoleon Napoleon complex]]\\
And if they take away people for [[{{Narcissist}} narcissism]] we'd lose Scotty Riggs, Wrestling/LexLuger, our [[Wrestling/ChrisJericho Paragon of Virtue]], Lenny Lane, and [[Wrestling/KevinNash Big Sexy]]. All we'd have left is Ralphus.

[[folder:Film - Live-Acton]]

[[AC:Anime and Manga]]

->''It's strange that [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Evangelion]] has become such a hit -- all the characters are so sick!"''
-->--'''Creator/HideakiAnno'''

[[AC:Comic Books]]

->'''Wedge''': "[New pilot] Targon comes to us fresh from Fleet Command Academy [...] and unlike the rest of you, he hasn't yet had time to ruin his career or his mind."
->'''Janson''': "Then he won't do. Send him home. Get us another lunatic."
-->-- greeting the new pilot in ''[[ComicBook/XWingSeries Solo Command]]''

[[AC:Film--Live-Acton]]

->''"What are we, a 'team'? No, no, we're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're a time bomb."''
-->--'''[[ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk Bruce Banner]]''', ''Film/{{The Avengers|2012}}''

->''"WOW. The insecurity level with you guys is '''''RIDICULOUS!'''''"''

[[AC:Live-action TV]]

->''"This administration doesn't even need an opposition party, do you know that? [[WithFriendsLikeThese We do fine by ourselves.]]"''
-->--'''Toby Ziegler''', ''Series/TheWestWing''

->''"There's a reason spies don't have a lot of parties. ''[ducks flying cup]'' Everybody's got a history with everyone else."''
-->--'''Michael''', ''Series/BurnNotice''

'''Dan Dorian''': Ah ah ah! [points to a beard of bubbles on his chin] Captain Bubblebeard. [[TalkLikeAPirate SHEAHT YER SCUPPERS, ME HARDIES!]]\\
[Dr. Cox shoves Dan's head under the bathwater]\\
'''Cox''': Now you're Dan again. Let's break down the kid's support structure, shall we? He's got me, an emotionally crippled narcissist; and he's got you, an emotionally crippled narcissist who is soaking in a tub of what must be, by now, ''mostly your own urine.''\\
'''Dan''': I believe the ratio has shifted that way, yes.\\
'''Cox''': And I have to believe that together, ''together'', Dan, we can make it at least half way to ''one legitimate adult!''
-->--''{{Series/Scrubs}}'', "My Cake"

->'''Alison:''' Do you have any idea how insane this sounds?
->'''Number Five:''' You know what else is insane? [[FountainOfYouth I look like a thirteen-year-old boy]]. Klaus [[ISeeDeadPeople talks to the dead]], and [[ApeMan Luther]] thinks he's fooling everybody with [[ConspicuousTrenchcoat that overcoat]]. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.
-->--''Series/TheUmbrellaAcademy2019'', "The Day That Was"


[[AC:Music]]
->''But both boy and girl were glad 'Cause one kid had it worse than that...
-->--'''Music/CrashTestDummies''', ''Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm''

[[AC:Video Games]]

->''"[[AC:Statement: oh, yes. my master had quite the collection of tortured individuals that seemed unable to confront their basic personality conflicts.]]"''
-->--'''HK-47''', ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublicIITheSithLords''

->''Dear god, '''why me'''''?! ''Why do I always seem to attract the who's who of mental illness''?!"
-->-- ''Platinum vs Ragna'', ''VideoGame/BlazBlueContinuumShift'' Arcade Mode

->''A dummy, a psycho, a waste of space, and a pervert. Yeah, we're a merry band, all right.''

->''You would hardly be the first member of our merry band to have issues.''
-->-- '''Grimoire Weiss''' (to Emil), ''VideoGame/NieR''

->''Diligent Salia, strong-willed Hilda, big-hearted Ersha, foul-mouthed Rosalie, and withdrawn Chris... It seems each one is struggling with her own inner demons. I'm dying to see what happens when they at last find freedom from their tormentors.''
-->-- '''[[Characters/SuperRobotWarsX Hopes]]''' doing a monologue on the cast of ''Anime/CrossAnge'', ''VideoGame/SuperRobotWarsX''.

[[AC:Webcomics]]

->''"We're Light Warriors, damnit.. I bet he ''can't'' hurt us any worse than we hurt each other every day."''

->''"I am sick of hearing you two bitch about each other. Hell, not just you two. Everyone in Foxhound is constantly at each other's throats. I of all people can appreciate the enabling power of seething hatred, but we can't be bickering over the radio while the enemy points and laughs."''
-->--'''Liquid Snake''', ''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFoxhound''

->''"I'd refer you to my therapist but she's already said she won't work with anyone else in my social circle."''
-->--'''Faye''', ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'', "[[https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1782 Too Hot to Handle]]"

->'''Durkon:''' Tell tha truth, I been wantin' ta punch me own smug face in tha face fer '''days'''.
->'''Minrah:''' Uh, OK. Does everyone in your group have weird emotional issues?
->'''Durkon:''' Eh, tha cat's prob'ly fine.
-->--''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

[[AC:Web Original]]

->''"Hey, remember Morph, the shape-shifting X-Man who was killed by Sentinels in the pilot in order to [[MauveShirt add an element of danger]] to the series, who was then resurrected as a hollow-eyed lackey of Mister Sinister who pretended to perform Cyclops and Jean’s marriage, only to run away screaming in a mineshaft? ...Moira, however, isn’t so sure that he’s fully over his trauma, but as he reminds her by shapeshifting into the other people on the team, he has a long way to go before he’s the most screwed up member of ''that'' little family."''
-->--'''Chris Sims''' on ''WesternAnimation/XMen'', [[http://comicsalliance.com/the-x-men-episode-guide-season-4-episode-3-courage/ "Courage"]]

->''"Owen [[GoingPostal pumps bullets into Jack]] because ‘he’s sick of people doubting him.’ What the hell were the psychological evaluation team doing during the Torchwood interview process? ''This'' is the man who is entrusted with powerful alien technology?"''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2015/04/end-of-days-written-by-chris-chibnall.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'', "[[{{Recap/TorchwoodS1E13EndOfDays}} End of Days]]"

->''"Someone's going to have to realize that throwing wrestlers [[Wrestling/RicFlair in a psychiatric ward]] makes about as much sense as having security break up the matches. To point:''\\\

· Wrestling/ReyMysterio - [[TheNapoleon Napoleon complex]]\\\
''And if they take away people for [[{{Narcissist}} narcissism]] we'd lose Scotty Riggs, Wrestling/LexLuger, our [[Wrestling/ChrisJericho Paragon of Virtue]], Lenny Lane, and [[Wrestling/KevinNash Big Sexy]]. All we'd have left is Ralphus."''
-->--'''''[[http://www.ddtdigest.com/updates/1999051m.htm DDT]]''''' on ''Wrestling/WCWMondayNitro'' 5.3.99

->''"These people don't have "issues" so much as they have ''subscriptions.''"''
-->-- GG Crono on the ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'' forums

[[AC:Web Video]]

->''"Just open the DSM-IV at a random page and you're likely to find on it some disorder that Curtis has."''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]]''', ''LetsPlay VideoGame/{{Phantasmagoria 2}}''

[[AC:Western Animation]]
->''"You realize The Avengers are a complete disaster, right? ComicBook/IronMan is completely unqualified to lead a team like this. [[ComicBook/TheMightyThor Thor]] is crazy. [[Comicbook/TheIncredibleHulk The Hulk]] is a bomb waiting to go off! ComicBook/AntMan couldn't be less interested in taking down bad guys. And [[ComicBook/TheWasp Wasp]] belongs in the party circuit, not law enforcement."''
-->-- '''ComicBook/{{Hawkeye}}''', ''WesternAnimation/TheAvengersEarthsMightiestHeroes'' ("Masters of Evil")

->''"All of the ponies in this town are '''crazy'''!"''

-->-- WebVideo/MyLittlePonyTotallyLegitRecap ''Every Little Thing She Does''