Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> Morpork was not a good address. Morpork was twinned with a tar pit. There was not a lot that could be done to make Morpork a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> Most witches don't believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don't believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> "Ah, well, we've all passed a lot of water since then," said Nanny Ogg sagely.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1090,1091 (click to see context) from:
to:
-> This has annoyed a number of people who feel, somehow, that it should not, and who want a monarch instead, thus replacing [[TheChessmaster a man who has achieved his position]] by [[ManipulativeBastard cunning]], a [[AwesomenessByAnalysis deep understanding]] of the realities of the human psyche, [[TheSocialExpert breathtaking diplomacy]], a certain prowess [[BadAss with the stiletto dagger]], and, all agree, a mind like a [[XanatosSpeedChess finely balanced circular saw]], with a man who has [[BlueBlood got there by being born]]. [[note]] A third proposition, that the city be governed by a choice of [[SleazyPolitician respectable members of the community]] who would promise not to give themselves airs or betray the public trust at every turn, was instantly the subject of music-hall jokes all over the city.[[/note]]
-> Usually there is, on the pillow, a very elderly teddy bear called Mr Wobble. Traditionally, in the lexicon of pathos, such a bear should have only one eye, but as the result of a childhood error in Glenda’s sewing, he has three, and is [[YogiBear more enlightened than the average bear]].
-> There is a phrase ‘neither flesh nor fowl nor good red herring’. This thing was all of them, plus some other bits of beasts unknown to science or nightmare or even kebab.
--> Hunting The Megapode
-> He neglected to think strategically, always a mistake when talking to fellow academics, and as a result made the mistake of employing, as at this point, common sense.
-> It is a well-known fact in any organization that, if you want a job done, you should give it to someone who is already very busy. It has been the cause of a number of homicides, and in one case the death of a senior director from having his head shut repeatedly in quite a small filing cabinet.
->Somehow, in all the confusing histories that had been sung or written, the goblins were down as nasty cowardly little bastards who collected their own earwax and were always on the other side. Alas, when the time came to write their story down, [[WrittenByTheWinners his people hadn’t even had a pencil]].
-> The Ankh-Morpork Trespassers’ Society [[hottip:**: Originally the Explorers’ Society until Lord Vetinari forcibly insisted that most of the places ‘discovered’ by the society’s members already had people living in them, who were already trying to sell snakes to the newcomers.]]
-> "They fight, they fall, and they cannot turn back because the whips drive them on, and all they know is whips, kill or be killed. Darkness in front of them, darkness behind them, darkness and whips in their heads. But what if you could take one out of this game, get him before the whips do, take him to a place without whips-what might he become? One creature. One singular being. Would you deny them that chance?"
->'''Lecturer in Recent Runes:''' ‘Under university statute we are specifically forbidden to engage, other than within college precincts, in any magic above level four, unless specifically asked to do so by the civil power or, under clause three, we really want to. We are acting as place holders, and as such, forbidden from working.’
->'''Ridcully:''' ‘Would you accept “slackers by hand and brain”?’
->'''Lecturer in Recent Runes:''' ‘Slackers by hand and brain by ''statute''.’
-> Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, ‘The mountain is, and is not.’ They would think, ‘The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.’
-> The Librarian was not very familiar with love, which had always struck him as a bit ethereal and soppy, but kindness, on the other hand, was practical. You knew where you were with kindness, especially if you were holding a pie it had just given you.
->'''Carter:''' ‘Coming down here, taking our jobs, yeah?’
->'''Trevor:''' ‘Like, how often do you do a hand’s turn?’
->'''Carter:''' ‘Well, I might want to one day.’
-> In fact, Juliet’s rising from beneath the cart passed relatively unnoticed by all except an art student who was almost blinded by the light at the spectacle, and many years later painted the picture known as Beauty Arising from the Pease Pudding Cart [[SophisticatedAsHell Attended by Cherubs Carrying Hot Dogs and Pies]]. It was widely regarded as a masterpiece, [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible although no one could ever work out exactly what the hell it was all about]]. But it was beautiful and so it was true.
-> Confusion always helped, when it wasn’t yours; when it was time for a hue and cry, make sure who was hue.
-> The unofficial motto of the Lady Sybil Free Hospital was ‘Not everybody dies’. It was true that, subsequent to the founding of the Lady Sybil, the chances of death from at least some causes in the city were quite amazingly reduced. Its surgeons were even known to wash their hands ''before'' operating as well as after.
-> ‘But it’ll still be a murder case, even if he comes walking in here tomorrow. Lord Vetinari’s rules: if it takes an Igor to bring you back, you were dead. Briefly dead, it’s true, which is why the murderer will be briefly hanged. A quarter of a second usually does it.’
-> 'I’d like him to send his boys down when they’re not busy for a bit of first-aid tuition, to wit, the difference between dead and sleeping. It’s a fine line sometimes, but it’s generally possible to spot the clues. The profession has always tended to consider walking about to be among the more reliable, although in this city we’ve learned to look on that as just a very good start. But when we pulled back the sheet he sat up and asked Igor if he had a sandwich, which is generally conclusive.'
->'''Juliet:''' ‘I luvim.’
->'''Glenda:''' ‘You can’t!’
->'''Juliet:''' ‘He saved my life!’
->'''Glenda:''' ‘That’s no basis for a relationship! A polite thank you would have sufficed!’
-> It has been said that crowds are stupid, but mostly they are simply confused, since as an eyewitness the average person is as reliable as a meringue lifejacket.
-> She didn’t have a career; they were for people who could not hold down jobs.
-> 'We have to play this game in any eventuality and so we will abide by them in the best traditions of sportsmanship until we have worked out where they may be most usefully broken to our advantage.'
-> The wizards paid no further attention and settled down to the passing of cups, the handing round of the sugar bowl, the inspection of the quality of the chocolate biscuits with a view to taking more than one’s entitlement and all the other little diversions without which a committee would be a clever device for making worthwhile decisions quickly.
-> The laws of favours are amongst the most fundamental in the multiverse. The first law is: nobody asks for just one favour; the second request (after the granting of the first favour), prefaced by ‘and can I be really cheeky…?’ is the asking of the second favour. If the aforesaid second request is not granted, the second law ensures that the need for any gratitude for the first favour is nullified, and in accordance with the third law the favour giver has not done any favours at all, and the favour field collapses.
-> In theory, something should fit, but all she ever found was facts, which are so unbecoming.
-> A variety of wizards had turned out this afternoon from curiosity, a suspicion that being there might turn out to be a good career move, and the prospect of maybe seeing some colleagues travelling across the lawn on their noses.
->'''Rincewind:''' ‘I would like permission to fetch a note from my mother, sir.’
->'''Ridcully:''' ‘Rincewind, you once informed me, to my everlasting puzzlement, that you never knew your mother because she ran away before you were born. Distinctly remember writing it down in my diary. Would you like another try?’
->'''Rincewind:''' ‘Permission to go and find my mother? ... Look, a mysterious urn turns up and suddenly it’s all about football. That bodes. It means something bad is going to happen.’
->'''Ridcully:'''‘Come now, it could be something wonderful.’
->'''Rincewind:''' ‘Could be wonderful, [[CosmicPlaything will be dreadful]]. Sorry, [[GenreSavvy that’s how it goes]].’
-> 'You know how to do this! Pick the teams alternately so one of you ends up with the weird kid and the other with the fat kid. Some of the fastest mathematics of all time has been achieved by team captains trying not to end up with the weird kid—Stay where you are, [[TheChewToy Rincewind]]!’
-> But authority must back up authority, in public at least, otherwise there is no authority, and therefore the senior authority is forced to back up the junior authority, even if he, the senior authority, believes that the junior authority is a tiresome little tit.
-> '''Nutt:''' ‘Beauty can be considered to be neutral, sir. It is not the same as nice or good.’
-> '''Ponder:''' ‘I thought it was the same as truth, though.’
-> '''Nutt:''' ‘Which is often horrible, sir.'
-> This diagram was devised to chart the tendency of wizards, who start out small and pale, to progress through the craft getting bigger and cholerically redder until at last they swell up and explode in a cloud of pomposity.
--> -- Owlspring/Tips Diagram
-> The politics of wizardry were either very simple, and resolved by someone ceasing to breathe, or as complex as one ball of yarn in a room with three bright-eyed little kittens.
-> [[TallPoppySyndrome That’s how it works. ]]People from the Sisters'' disapproving'' when a girl takes the trolley bus. That’s crab bucket. Practically everything my mum ever told me, that’s crab bucket. Practically everything I’ve ever told Juliet, that’s crab bucket, too. Maybe it’s just another word for the Shove. It’s so nice and warm on the inside that you forget that there’s an outside. The worst of it is, the crab that mostly keeps you down is you… [[EurekaMoment The realization had her mind on fire.]]
-> 'Warfare, as it were, without the tedious necessity of picking up all those heads and limbs afterwards.'
->'''Vetinari:''' 'And that’s when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.’
-> Ridcully picked up a spoon and tapped the side of a wine glass, in the time-honoured ‘Look, everybody, I’m trying to make a loud noise very quietly!’ procedure, which has successfully eluded after-dinner speakers ever since the invention of glasses, spoons and dinners.
-> Some scenes are only ever a memory rather than an experience, because they happen too fast for immediate comprehension.
-> Although some seasoned captains could stand up for some time while being, technically, falling-down drunk. And there is nothing more embarrassing than seeing a falling-down drunk except for when it is a falling-down drunk who is still standing up.
-> She recognized one that she had always liked: the ball shall be called the ball. [[ChekhovsGun The ball is the ball that is played as the ball by any three consecutive players, at which point it is the ball.]] She’d loved it when she first read it for the sheer stupidity of its phraseology. Apparently, it had been added on a day, centuries ago, when an unfortunately severed head had rolled into play and had rather absent-mindedly replaced the ball currently in play on account of some body, formerly belonging to the head, now lying on the original ball. That kind of thing stuck in the memory, especially because after the match the owner of the head was credited with scoring the winning goal.
-> Just because he was a tyrant and capable of having just about anybody killed on a whim, people acted as if they were scared of him. Someone ought to tell him off.
-> Where a battering ram cannot work, [[FoodAsBribe really good shortcrust pastry can often break through]].
-> Juliet’s version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.
-> Even Mrs. Carter, who in theory at least should entertain some lukewarm affability to her son, didn’t like Carter. He was fundamentally unlikeable. It was a sad thing to have to say, but Carter, farting or otherwise, was a wonderful example of charisn'tma.
-> '''Lady Margalotta:''' ‘You would take [[TamperingWithFoodAndDrink untested food]] from a member of the public?’
-> '''Vetinari:''' ‘Certainly from [[SupremeChef this one]]. There is no possible way that she would ever put poison in anything. Not out of respect for me, you understand, [[ImpossiblyDeliciousFood but out of respect for the food]].'
-> Policemen have a way of pronouncing the word ‘sir’, as if they would really like to spell it ‘cur’.
-> The singing of the National Anthem was always a ragged affair, the good people of Ankh-Morpork feeling that it was unpatriotic to sing songs about how patriotic you were, taking the view that someone singing a song about how patriotic they were was either up to something or a Head of State. [[hottip:**: [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment i.e., up to something.]]
-> It is considered in the Sto Plains that only scoundrels know the second verse of their national anthem, since anyone spending time memorizing that would be up to no good purpose. The Ankh-Morpork national anthem, therefore, had a second verse that was deliberately written as ''ner ner ners'' and the occasional coherent word desperately trying to stay afloat, on the basis that this is [[SecondVerseCurse how it would sound in any case]].
-> It was later agreed that, in a footballing context, [[ShmuckBait mysteriously appearing fruit]] should have been greeted with a certain amount of caution. But he was hungry, it was a banana and the metaphysics were sound. He ate it.
-> 'He's sick as a parrot.' [[hottip:**: According to Fletcher’s ''Avian Nausea Index'', parrot sickness stands at number five in the ‘wishing yourself dead’ index. The highest level of sickness is that suffered by the great Combovered Eagle which can vomit over three countries at once.]]
->'''Juliet:''' ‘You know what some people said when we were drinking? They said Dave Likely was your father.’
->'''Trevor:''' ‘Well, yes, that’s true.’
->'''Juliet:''' ‘Yes, but they used to say you were his son.’
-> Fortuitously she had pulled out of her pocket a pair of tickets, placed there by Dr Hix in his attempt to spread darkness and despondency throughout the world by the means of amateur dramatics.
->'''Ridcully:''' 'I think we should take the senior faculty as well. They will lend some much-needed… what’s the word?’
->'''Ponder:''' ‘Confusion.'
->'''Ridcully:''' ‘No, not that.’
->'''Ponder:''' ‘Appetite? Weight?’
->'''Ridcully:''' ‘Something like that…Ah, gravitas. Oh, yes, lots of gravitas. [[BrickJoke We aren’t the kind of fellows who run around chasing strange birds]].'
[[/folder]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1979 (click to see context) from:
to:
->Children were climbing on the golem in the square, despite the efforts of the watchmen who were guarding it. [[hottip:**: Who was being guarded from whom was not, at this point, either certain or germane.'' Guarding was in the process of happening''.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->Building a temple didn’t mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->Miss Pucci simply didn’t know how to work a crowd. She stomped and demanded attention and bullied and insulted and it didn’t help that she’d called them “good people,” because no one likes an outright liar.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1964,1967 (click to see context) from:
-> It was more than likely that [[MrMuffykins Mr Fusspot had never seen a real bone before]]. He circled it carefully, waiting for it to squeak.
to:
-> It was more than likely that [[MrMuffykins Mr Fusspot Fusspot]] had never seen a real bone before]]. before. He circled it carefully, waiting for it to squeak.
squeak.
->'''Colon:''' “Now you see, that was good. He went right through the cab window without touching the sides and bounced off that bloke creepin’ up. Very nice roll as he landed, I thought, and he still had hold of the little dog the whole time. Done it before, I shouldn’t wonder. Nevertheless, I’m forced, on balance, to consider him a twit.”
->'''Nobby:''' “The first cab. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I would not have thought it of a man like him.”
->'''Colon:''' “My point exactly. When you know you’ve got enemies at large, never, ever get in the first cab. Fact of life. Even things what live under rocks know it.”
->'''Colon:''' “Now you see, that was good. He went right through the cab window without touching the sides and bounced off that bloke creepin’ up. Very nice roll as he landed, I thought, and he still had hold of the little dog the whole time. Done it before, I shouldn’t wonder. Nevertheless, I’m forced, on balance, to consider him a twit.”
->'''Nobby:''' “The first cab. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I would not have thought it of a man like him.”
->'''Colon:''' “My point exactly. When you know you’ve got enemies at large, never, ever get in the first cab. Fact of life. Even things what live under rocks know it.”
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1953 (click to see context) from:
to:
->The people of Ankh-Morpork took a straightforward approach to letter-writing, which could be summarized as: If I know what I mean, so should you. As a result, the Post Office was used to envelopes addressed to “My brofer Jonn, tall, by the brij” or “Mrs. Smith wot does, Dolly Sistres.” The keen and somewhat worrying intellects employed in the Blind Letter Office enjoyed the challenge, and during their tea break they played chess in their heads.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1937 (click to see context) from:
to:
->When parties are interested in unprepossessing land, it might just pay for smaller parties to buy up any neighboring plots, just in case the party of the first part had heard something, possibly at a party.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> Archchancellor Ridcully was a great believer in retaliation by promotion. You couldn’t have civilians criticizing one of ''his'' wizards. That was ''his'' job.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->''I’ll kill you, Mr. Gilt. I’ll kill you in our special way, the way of the weasel and cheat and liar. I’ll take away everything'' but ''your life. [[BadassBoast I’ll take away your money, your reputation, and your friends. I’ll spin words around you until you’re cocooned in them. I’ll leave you nothing, not even hope…]]''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->Never promise to do the possible. Anyone could do the possible. You should promise to do the impossible, because sometimes the impossible ''was'' possible, if you could find the right way, and at least you could often extend the limits of the possible. And if you failed, well, it ''had'' been impossible.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->Headquarters had even started an Employee of the Month scheme to show how much they cared. ''That'' was how much they didn’t care.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->Every organization needs at least one person who knows [[OnlySaneMan what’s going on and why it’s happening and who’s doing it]], and at UU this role was filled by Stibbons, who often wished it wasn’t.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1907,1908 (click to see context) from:
to:
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 1902,1903 (click to see context) from:
Moist was sure doctors kept skeletons around to cow patients. ''Nyer, nyer, we know what you look like underneath…''
to:
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
Moist was sure doctors kept skeletons around to cow patients. ''Nyer, nyer, we know what you look like underneath…''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
formatting
Changed line(s) 1993,1994 (click to see context) from:
->It was the sort of thing you expected in the Street of Alchemists. The neighbours * preferred* explosions, which were at least identifiable and soon over. They were better than the smells, which crept up on you.
to:
->It was the sort of thing you expected in the Street of Alchemists. The neighbours * preferred* ''preferred'' explosions, which were at least identifiable and soon over. They were better than the smells, which crept up on you.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> The wizards from Unseen University had been jolly interested in the problem, like doctors being really fascinated by some new, virulent disease; the patient appreciates all the interest but would very much prefer it if they either came up with a cure or stopped prodding.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
New category - word of God
Changed line(s) 2382,2383 (click to see context) from:
!Word of God: memorable quotes by Terry Pratchett himself, about the Discworld or just in general
[[folder: Pratchett Fanfic]]
[[folder: Pratchett Fanfic]]
to:
!Word of God: God:
[[folder: memorable quotes by Terry Pratchett himself, about theDiscworld Discworld, or just in general
[[folder: Pratchett Fanfic]]general]]
[[folder: memorable quotes by Terry Pratchett himself, about the
[[folder: Pratchett Fanfic]]
!Fanfic:
[[folder: Pratchett Fanfic]]
[[folder: Pratchett Fanfic]]
Deleted line(s) 2396,2397 (click to see context) :
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
New category - word of God
Changed line(s) 2381 (click to see context) from:
!Pratchett Fanfic
to:
!Word of God: memorable quotes by Terry Pratchett himself, about the Discworld or just in general
Changed line(s) 2383 (click to see context) from:
to:
* ''The Assasins' Guild School was created by taking a typical British boarding school and turning all the knobs up [[UpToEleven way past eleven]], especially the one labelled "violence".''
* ''I don't mind fanfic, as long as people don't go out of their way to put it where I can see it. Everything works so long as people are sensible.''
* The "embuggerance" of having Alzheimers.
[[/folder]]
* ''I don't mind fanfic, as long as people don't go out of their way to put it where I can see it. Everything works so long as people are sensible.''
* The "embuggerance" of having Alzheimers.
[[/folder]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
typo
Changed line(s) 914,915 (click to see context) from:
->In a truly magical universe everything has its opposite. For example, there's anti-light. That's not the same as darkness, because darkness is merely the absence of light. Anti-light is what you get if you pass through darkness and ''out the other side.'' On the same basis, a state of knurdness isn't like sobriety. By comparison, sobriety is like having a bath in cotton wool. Knurdness strips away all illusion, all the comforting pink fog in which people normallu spend their lives, and lets them see and think clearly for the first time ever. Then, after they've screamed a bit, they make sure they never get knurd again.
to:
->In a truly magical universe everything has its opposite. For example, there's anti-light. That's not the same as darkness, because darkness is merely the absence of light. Anti-light is what you get if you pass through darkness and ''out the other side.'' On the same basis, a state of knurdness isn't like sobriety. By comparison, sobriety is like having a bath in cotton wool. Knurdness strips away all illusion, all the comforting pink fog in which people normallu normally spend their lives, and lets them see and think clearly for the first time ever. Then, after they've screamed a bit, they make sure they never get knurd again.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> The pen might not be mightier than the sword, but maybe the printing press was heavier that the siege weapon. Just a few words can change everything…
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->Stopping a battle is much harder that starting it. Starting it only requires you to shout “Attack!,” but when you want to stop it, everyone is busy.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> "And right now I don’t want to put any trousers on because then I’d be a woman dressed up as a man dressed up as a woman dressed up as a man, and then I’d be so confused I won’t know how to swear. And I want to swear right now, sir, very much."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> "He went to a school for young gentlemen, so prison will be just like old times.”
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
typo
Changed line(s) 907 (click to see context) from:
->The Octavo filled the room with a dull sullen light, which wasn't strictly light at all but the opposite of light; darkness isn't the opposite of light it is simply its absence, and what was radiating from the book was the light that lies on the other side of darkness, [[TitleDrop the light fantastic.]]
to:
->The Octavo filled the room with a dull sullen light, which wasn't strictly light at all but the opposite of light; darkness isn't the opposite of light light, it is simply its absence, and what was radiating from the book was the light that lies on the other side of darkness, [[TitleDrop the light fantastic.]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
-> The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 2245 (click to see context) from:
-> '''Vimes:''' "What’s abominable about the colour blue? It’s just a colour! The sky is blue!"
to:
-> '''Vimes:''' "What’s abominable about the colour blue? It’s just a colour! The sky ''sky'' is blue!"
Added DiffLines:
-> The little lesson that life sometimes rams home with a stick: you are not the only one watching the world, other people are also people, while you watch them they watch you, and they think about you while you think about them.'' The world isn’t just about you.''
